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Featured Hot Rods Quotes to live by...

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by Boneyard51, Apr 2, 2018.

  1. wahoo
    Joined: Feb 23, 2011
    Posts: 28

    wahoo
    Member

    Speed kills... but what a way to go!
     
  2. Murphy32
    Joined: Oct 17, 2007
    Posts: 588

    Murphy32
    ALLIANCE MEMBER
    from Minnesota

    "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
    - Dean Martin
     
    Last edited: May 16, 2018 at 12:36 PM
    chryslerfan55 and Chavezk21 like this.
  3. Truckdoctor Andy
    Joined: Jan 13, 2017
    Posts: 121

    Truckdoctor Andy
    Member

    Shit will do for brains when you got luck!
    “This man is questioning our integrity, we’re going to have to f$&k him!”


    Sent from my iPhone using The H.A.M.B. mobile app
     
    chryslerfan55 likes this.
  4. All home built airplanes should be single seaters.
     
    Murphy32 and j-jock like this.
  5. Murphy32
    Joined: Oct 17, 2007
    Posts: 588

    Murphy32
    ALLIANCE MEMBER
    from Minnesota

    "I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."

    -Jerry Garcia
     
  6. CA. 280
    Joined: Jan 8, 2010
    Posts: 153

    CA. 280
    Member

    " You can avoid criticism by saying nothing, doing nothing and being nothing"
     
    chryslerfan55 likes this.
  7. BJR
    Joined: Mar 11, 2005
    Posts: 4,019

    BJR
    Member
    from Minnesota

    88.6% of all facts are made up on the spot.
     
    chryslerfan55 likes this.
  8. Murphy32
    Joined: Oct 17, 2007
    Posts: 588

    Murphy32
    ALLIANCE MEMBER
    from Minnesota

    "I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
    -Steven Wright
     
    Boneyard51, BJR and j-jock like this.
  9. j-jock
    Joined: May 12, 2007
    Posts: 915

    j-jock
    Member

    It is a well known fact that statistics can be turned into lies, but now we have the ability to organize them all on a spreadsheet.
    Bob
     
    Last edited: May 16, 2018 at 3:27 PM
  10. The Shift Wizard
    Joined: Jan 10, 2017
    Posts: 736

    The Shift Wizard
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    "Hey Sonny, com'ere and pull my finger." said 75% of dads and 100% of all granddads.
     
    chryslerfan55 and Murphy32 like this.
  11. hot rust
    Joined: Sep 18, 2007
    Posts: 637

    hot rust
    Member

    it is better to be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and confirm it.
     
    dana barlow likes this.
  12. Rusty O'Toole
    Joined: Sep 17, 2006
    Posts: 8,256

    Rusty O'Toole
    Member

    If you want a dirty deal get in with a church man.
    - my grandmother
     
  13. bundoc bob
    Joined: Dec 31, 2015
    Posts: 57

    bundoc bob

    So I'm still wrenching at Snappy Joe's emporium of outrageous prices when our only repeat customer, a real crazy logger comes in bitching about the tuneup I did on his beat to crap just OT Ford 1/2 ton PU. "You call yourself a mechanic, but that shitbox won't pull a sick whore off a slop jar since you tuned it up!" So I flopped around checking stuff. Next day he's back. After the third day we found out his A-hole brother's Chevy crewcab crummy had died on the way to the jobsite, which was about 60 miles into the bush. Seems a backyarder fixed the SBC 350 and it died again part way to the claim and so he hooked the 1/2 ton Ford to it and dragged it out to the worksite, with 6 loggers, chainsaws, cable etc and a small Cat blade in the back, on top of the Tidy Tank full of diesel. Towed it back to town after the day was over...Then the backyarder patched the 350 up some more but it died in about the same place the next day. So the Ford towed the whole shebang again. There was one hell of a long, steep hill on the way and the joke was that the Ford couldn't pull the whole godforsaken mess up the hill in second gear, so the tuneup was crap. And it was a 360. I ain't never seen a Ford farkled as bad as that poor old pickup was. One day the rad was leaking like a sieve when he limped it in. We all repaired to the Slippery Steak restaurant next door to hear him bitch about it. Snappy says "I can fix any rad" but our customer said "you ain't gonna fix this one, sport, it's been patched to death." When we pulled the rad it was obvious it was total trash, but Snappy said, "stand back you arseholes and watch this." He got out the torch and two roles of solder and when he was done he had virtually made a solder radiator. I swear it took both of us to lift that thing
    back in the Ford. And, it didn't leak. Gawd help any moose he hit with that truck. I did enjoy going for coffee at the Slippery Steak with him, you could always tell when he liked any young lady that came in because he would whisper in his loud, booming voice "gawd I'd like to breed her!"
     
    chryslerfan55 likes this.
  14. Boneyard51
    Joined: Dec 10, 2017
    Posts: 592

    Boneyard51
    Member

    Had a funeral of a good friend.... asked another friend why he wasn’t there? He said “ why should I go to his??? He won’t come to mine!!
    Bones
     
  15. Donut Dave
    Joined: Jul 9, 2007
    Posts: 306

    Donut Dave
    Member

    A friend told me he hated to attend Family Reunions, “It’ always the same people.”
     
  16. Truck64
    Joined: Oct 18, 2015
    Posts: 1,775

    Truck64
    Member
    from Here

    My dad claimed it was about impossible to get them to pay back money owed, and businesses in general are already notorious "slow pay" to begin with.
     
    Boneyard51 and chryslerfan55 like this.
  17. BJR
    Joined: Mar 11, 2005
    Posts: 4,019

    BJR
    Member
    from Minnesota

    I knew a guy that brought condoms to a family reunion. :eek:
     
    Boneyard51 and chryslerfan55 like this.
  18. sevenhills1952
    Joined: Mar 14, 2018
    Posts: 119

    sevenhills1952

    Years ago I worked at a store and office ladies in billing department said watch out for the three P's...professors, physicians and preachers.

    Sent from my SM-S320VL using Tapatalk
     
    Boneyard51 and chryslerfan55 like this.
  19. Sky Six
    Joined: Mar 15, 2018
    Posts: 192

    Sky Six
    Member
    from Arizona

    Stupid people are like glow sticks, I want to snap them and shake the hell out of them until the light comes on.

    Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there.
     
  20. Speedwrench
    Joined: Nov 21, 2009
    Posts: 860

    Speedwrench
    Member

    There's nothing wrong with incest or nepotism as long as you keep it in the family.
     
    Boneyard51 and chryslerfan55 like this.
  21. fullhouse296
    Joined: Jan 30, 2009
    Posts: 320

    fullhouse296
    Member
    from Australia

    Everybody gets a chance , friends get two ,family get three .
     
    Boneyard51 likes this.
  22. ramblin dan
    Joined: Apr 16, 2018
    Posts: 157

    ramblin dan

  23. Truck64
    Joined: Oct 18, 2015
    Posts: 1,775

    Truck64
    Member
    from Here

    That's why it's called "Quotes to Live By"?
     
    Boneyard51 and chryslerfan55 like this.
  24. xpletiv
    Joined: Jul 9, 2008
    Posts: 914

    xpletiv
    Member
    from chiburbs

  25. BAD ROD
    Joined: Dec 16, 2004
    Posts: 1,484

    BAD ROD
    Member

    We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience. - Wayne Dyer
     
    Boneyard51, Truck64 and chryslerfan55 like this.
  26. sevenhills1952
    Joined: Mar 14, 2018
    Posts: 119

    sevenhills1952

    "Today's new and improved is tomorrow's junk."


    ...Thought of that years ago...

    Sent from my SM-S320VL using Tapatalk
     
    Boneyard51 and chryslerfan55 like this.
  27. johnnybronco
    Joined: Sep 16, 2010
    Posts: 51

    johnnybronco
    Member

    Neighbor told me a good one yesterday. "You can't make chicken soup with chicken shit."
     
    chryslerfan55 and Boneyard51 like this.
  28. I’ve always liked this one “You’re arguing with yourself, and losing!”


    Sent from my iPhone using The H.A.M.B. mobile app
     
    Boneyard51 likes this.
  29. Truck64
    Joined: Oct 18, 2015
    Posts: 1,775

    Truck64
    Member
    from Here

    "You don't have a soul, you are a soul. You have a body."

    Attributed to C.S. Lewis

    That quote up there reminded me of this one
     
  30. BAD ROD
    Joined: Dec 16, 2004
    Posts: 1,484

    BAD ROD
    Member

    “Anyone who genuinely and consistently with both hands look for something, will find it.” -Rumi
     
    chryslerfan55 likes this.

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