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paying for your habits

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by 60widewhitez, Aug 3, 2011.

  1. 60widewhitez
    Joined: Apr 4, 2006
    Posts: 421

    60widewhitez
    Member

    This is something I've often thought about. I have gone rounds with the wife who really just doesn't understand. We have decided that after I finish school I will have an old car budget. If you make a ton of money it doesn't matter. My opinion on this is that the old car thing choses you and not vise versa.. How do you guys deal with your bills and wives.. I really don't want my old car passion to die because I have kids because I want to pass it on to them after I am gone. You certainly can't do that with a gambling habit or drug habit.. Thoughts?

    Rick
     
  2. Mr. Carachi
    Joined: Mar 23, 2011
    Posts: 101

    Mr. Carachi
    Member

    Oh, you can pass on a gambling or drug habit, it's just not very productive or what you really want your family legacy to be.

    I agree the old car thing can choose you. It did with my old truck build. For the most part I have had an "allowance" for working on it, and when we would run across extra funds she would get to buy something she wanted and I would do the same, but we would never keep food off the table for a part for the truck.

    I found the real key is that if you really do want to pass on the life lessons that can only be learned in a garage to your kids, get the kids involved. The truck build is actually for my daughter...and when momma bear see's papa bear playing with and teaching her cubs things in life that she can't...it's really hard for her to get too upset about it.
     
  3. 1954Bill
    Joined: Feb 26, 2009
    Posts: 180

    1954Bill
    Member
    from Long Beach

    I lie to my wife about the car all the time I hate to but its the only way can get things done
     
  4. larry woods
    Joined: Jan 20, 2010
    Posts: 566

    larry woods
    Member
    from venice fl

    I would suggest while you will have multiple bills trying to minimize the number of wives will be a more economical approach. If you look at many of us who have owned a specific car for a long time, i think you may find those were mothballed so we could deal with the more pressing and important matters. The passion only dies with you. Be sure to pass it on to your kids, regardless of gender.(i have an older thread on that subject). It all works out, just set realistic goals and life a healthy lifestyle. If you have either of the two habits you mentioned, kiss the cars and the life (wife and kids) goodby! Get yourself some help ASAP.
     

  5. Von Rigg Fink
    Joined: Jun 11, 2007
    Posts: 13,426

    Von Rigg Fink
    Member
    from Garage

    As long as the bills are paid and the kid and her are fed..I could go crazy with the $

    But im not that way anyhow..I've always come from the work for it side of thinking.

    she knows im responsible, so the issue never comes up
     
  6. RR
    Joined: Nov 30, 2008
    Posts: 106

    RR
    Member

    Money is tight right now- everywhere. Normally, I pay for my stuff with whatever is left 9if anything) after the bills and such are paid. My wife is currently unemployed, so not many new parts for me recently.

    I had a brother in law who took himself and my sister deep into debt over a car. It ruined both of their credit ratings and took years to overcome. And you never get what you have in a car out of it. Don't ever go into debt for a hot rod- it is a luxury, not a necessity. Food, shelter, clothing, transportation, entertainment- those make a wife happy and your life tolerable.

    If you can start a hot rod fund, more power to ya. Once you have the hot rod, you will find it hard not to spend whatever you can afford on it. It is a money pit.:eek:
     
  7. n847
    Joined: Apr 22, 2010
    Posts: 2,707

    n847
    Member

    We have a single income house with 2 kids. I buy sell and trade my way to get what I need. My wife would give me all the money left after bills if we had any but we don't and probably won't for a long time. I love to cut hogs with guys to trade labor or parts. My wife lets me function on the premise that the "toys" I have (guns, cars, parts, hunting/fishing gear, etc) belong to me and if I want new toys I have to get rid of old ones some times! Not that I wouldn't sell it all in a minute to protect the family but she normally takes it pretty good when I fall into some cash from a trade or sale if I pony up a for a little something specail for her. I also find it works good to get her involved in the project...but thats just me!
     
  8. Don's Hot Rods
    Joined: Oct 7, 2005
    Posts: 8,319

    Don's Hot Rods
    Member
    from florida

    Ya know, Rick, I reallly feel sorry for young guys who are starting out in this hobby and want to buy or build a car in the worst way, but have little money to do it with, especially if they have a family to support too. That was me 40 or so years ago, which makes me understand even more.

    Obviously, family obligations and just surviving come first. Most of us older guys have sold half finished projects over the years just to keep a roof over our heads and our kids fed, and you never look back, it is what a man does. But that doesn't mean you can't keep your desire to have that finished car alive, you just might have to wait a little while to get it.

    As for the wife not understanding, some guys are blessed with women in their lives who accept our sickness and some even participate. I've never had that luck.:( I was married for 28 years and she hated my car. Saw it as a dumb waste of money. After we divorced I had a live in GF for 7 years, who LOVED my hot rod in the beginning, but then the love affair died, and she preferred I sit on the couch with her, watching House and Garden TV. (Do we have a puking icon? )

    So now I'm single and do whatever the hell I want, when I want, and my cat never complains when I drag home another project. :) Luckily, my two Sons have been infected with the same car illness, we build them together, and that makes it all worthwhile. Young guys, keep your heads up, life does get easier as time goes on, and you will get that hot rod or custom if you really want it bad enough. Just have patience.

    Don
     
  9. 60widewhitez
    Joined: Apr 4, 2006
    Posts: 421

    60widewhitez
    Member

    I agree. I hate lying to her too and it has hurt us. I bought a whole other car that she didn't know about and it almost cost us our marriage.. I will have my old car fund soon. In the meantime I try to buy things I really want with payments. People are usually willing but it often means paying what they are asking.. It's honest but requires patience on the part of the seller and buyer.. I work three jobs and go to school so sometimes its hard not to be able to spend my money on my old stuff.. Oh well, I'll be out of school next june so then it will be more welcome.. My kids love to go to car shows with me because I teach them about old cars and I do not keep them there too long.. I do not want them to have bad memories of going to shows.. I know you never get out of what you have into old cars but I try to factor in fun and entertainment. I can literally start my 60 up and it makes my whole day... I would never not pay important bills over my habits for sure... Great discussion...
     
  10. R Frederick
    Joined: Mar 30, 2009
    Posts: 2,658

    R Frederick
    Member
    from illinois

    Get out now before you have children. I've been married 10 years and sometimes wish I had married someone who shares my interests.
    Oh, just noticed you already have children. May God be with you.:p
     
  11. JeffreyJames
    Joined: Jun 13, 2007
    Posts: 16,612

    JeffreyJames
    Member
    from SUGAR CITY

    I just had a child a year ago and things tightened up a bit but I still have a Car fund or allowance if you will. Sometimes my wife adds a little more sometimes something comes up and I get a little less but she's cool enough to understand that it's important to me to exhaust my energy in a productive way.

    As of late there has been a lot less money to use for car parts but that's because I took a pay cut. But I have plenty to do out there that doesn't require money.
     
  12. brad chevy
    Joined: Nov 22, 2009
    Posts: 2,627

    brad chevy
    Member

    Use to throw money away and end up behind on everything.Wized up handed all the paychecks and finances,bill paying over to wife.Now bills are paid,if I need something I have the cash to do it.Family and bills come first,just because you want something ,don"t let your wants overload your ability to afford it.I have always wanted 40 Ford gasser but wallet has me in a 53 Chevy.Start that bullshit of lying to the old lady and you"ll be paying child support and talking to the cat who is only interested in being fed regularly.
     
  13. Erkenbrand
    Joined: Aug 6, 2009
    Posts: 102

    Erkenbrand
    Member

    My wife and I have a very simple arrangement. She understands I love my car and shop, and that I need to work on the car. Although it doesn't make any sense to her, she is accepting.

    We sat down one day and listed all of the bills, etc. I give her all the money + some for savings to pay all of that and get some put away for future stuff. (Like rewiring the house and avoiding the house fire we almost had a couple of weeks ago.)

    Any other money I have left is mine to do with as I please. It's not a lot, but I buy stuff for the car when I can. For the larger stuff I save for a bit, or trade up. I have a small collection of parts, and hit up the swap meets and trade them for other things I need, or work out deals with friends.

    This method keeps us both happy. :)
     
  14. adamshumard
    Joined: Jan 18, 2007
    Posts: 1,380

    adamshumard
    Member

    For me the hobby supports its self. I buy old cars and parts and sell them for profit to support my addiction. It takes a little operating capital to start but the deals are out there. Just bought an OT early 70s Buick GS that I bought purely to turn. Its profits will put my 53addiction closer to the on the road.
     
  15. Big Nick
    Joined: Sep 7, 2005
    Posts: 847

    Big Nick
    Member

    I gotta say my girl doesnt bust my balls, infact she helps out or at least offers, I dont allow it. As long as the bills get paid I play. Also my playing a lot of the time adds to the money and helps me fund what I have going on. I try to keep my 9 to 5 money to the house and my side work money to the bikes and truck. Now I dont have any kids so it may be different. But you can ask my ex how far it got her coming down on my hobbies, at that time it was competitive bodybuilding and she use to tell me all the time that I need to grow up and stop and when we get married my gym life is over. She is no longer and I still have my gym time and my cars and bikes.

    Now a buddy of mine has two kids but he also does a lot of hustle on the side with buying ad selling parts and thats what he uses to play with. Also his wife, as mine, knows it keeps us sane, and they know where we are, instead of calling titty bar after titty bar looking for us, its usually just a knock on the garage door.
     
  16. bauschracing
    Joined: Mar 31, 2011
    Posts: 64

    bauschracing
    Member

    I have had a racing habit for years. My first car I built in my garage and used overtime money. I raced it for 12 years and was lucky not to break parts. It was not very fast but was consistant and won money. No money was ever taken out of the house fund. I actually replaced the house heating and A/C unit with winnings.
    I was unemployeed for 1 year and racing stopped. I did have a 1958 chevy truck given to me and will get around to fixing it up.
    I went to IRAQ for a few months with my job with the Defense Department and made some extra money with the hazardous duty pay and the 84 + hour weeks. 48 hours of overtime every week! Money for a faster race car!

    Kids are gone now but had 2 weddings to pay for this year. Cars are on hold for a while as well as the truck.

    As said, fine a way to buy and sell or do repairs and keep the $$ seperate. Get a part time job at a auto parts store on the weekends, work at events, ect. Just do not get discouraged, and do not judge yourself and your car against others.
    Mike
     
  17. harrington
    Joined: Jul 22, 2009
    Posts: 421

    harrington
    Member
    from Indiana

    I do allot of side work. My day job pays the bills and anything the kids need along with insurance. (I thank my lucky stars everyday) I work for a guy who has a body shop on the side. If we are behind the money I make doing that goes to cover bills, if we are ahead I get to spend it on my play toys. I always try to buy play toys I can sell for a profit if times get really tough. I want to build a hot rod but money will not let me do that right now. I do have a few parts saved up for a rod and I will just keep adding to the stash untill I have what I need, it may take another 15 years but when its done it will be paid for. I lied to my wife one time about some side money I made, was in the dog house for a long time, never do that again.
     
  18. spot
    Joined: Jun 10, 2009
    Posts: 204

    spot
    Member
    from usa

    I worked my way through school and drove beaters for 10 yrs until I was making enough cash to actually build something nice. I have always been upfront with my wife about cost and time. She has learned my money estimates are much closer to reality than the time estimates. We don't have kids so all my spare cash is for my toys. It helps a lot to plan the build and settle for a runner that you can add parts/upgrades to until cash flow allows an all out assault. I had one on jack stands with no engine for 9 years.
     
  19. 60widewhitez
    Joined: Apr 4, 2006
    Posts: 421

    60widewhitez
    Member

    I valet cars on the side and have a very small massage practice( I am also a licensed massage therapist).. I am hoping to keep more valet money for the cars after I finish my RN degree.. I am willing to work hard for my family and my old stuff.. Hopefully we will work it out because if I sold my 60 I would be miserable.. It's part of me...
     
  20. ironpile
    Joined: Jul 3, 2005
    Posts: 915

    ironpile
    Member

    I have more money now that I`m retired.I can save my allowance now that I don`t drink with my buddies anymore "didn`t need it in the first place". I have all the tools necessary to build my rod and the HAMB has provided some good bargains on parts I need . It`s just a matter of priorities. "Do it the way you want,to hell with the critics".
     
  21. ME.GASSER
    Joined: Sep 18, 2007
    Posts: 3,617

    ME.GASSER
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    Well i must put my 2 cents worth in here. I have never given my husband a hard time about buying a car and i never will. He works very hard, we have no children and there are alot worse things that he could be doing out there. I am as obsessed as he is. My favorite time in the world is being at the racetrack and smelling the fumes. I am considering getting done my job because they changed my schedule after 14 years so the new girl could work whatever she wants to and now because of not having my normal days off i am out of time to go to any more events. I say that if your husband is a hard worker and takes good care of you, you should shut up and let him have his passion. I know i am probably going to get into trouble for that but it's how i feel.
    Gasser Girl
     
  22. el shad
    Joined: Apr 16, 2008
    Posts: 622

    el shad
    Member

    Dream Woman, Is that you.....?????

    Can is send my old lady to your place for a couple weeks. Whats the possibility of getting her Mrs. Gasser Girls crash course?
     
  23. Mr48chev
    Joined: Dec 28, 2007
    Posts: 29,546

    Mr48chev
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    The bills get paid and if there is something left after the other expenses of living the truck gets something.

    Years ago after watching the wifes and kids of friends or acquaintances who raced circle track or dirt track live on beans and weanies so the car could have parts to race the next weekend I decided that the family would never do without because of one of the cars.

    True we haven't been to Disneyland or take a lot of other trips to just have a vacation but they have been to a lot of interesting places on vacations that were planned around a car event.

    Right now My wife is back in school working on her degree and money is a bit tight but overtime bonuses and part of the tax return get directed towards the car and truck projects. Selling off extra stuff at the swap meets to buy parts for a project has always been part of it too. More than once I have gone to a swapmeet with just enough cash to pay the fee for the space and anything I bought that day had to be paid for with the money that I got from selling what I had.
     
  24. chopperfugger
    Joined: May 29, 2009
    Posts: 83

    chopperfugger
    Member
    from austin

    Well husbands are screwed -

    cause Dr. Phil called it 'Fiscal Infidelity' so now it's right up there
    with cheating.
     
  25. walter
    Joined: Nov 4, 2007
    Posts: 625

    walter
    Member

    Rick
    I feel your pain. I to had gotten bitten by the bug in the 70's and was starting a family. At that time there wasn't as many aftermarket parts available so the my first car 30 A sedan was built using junk yard parts made to fit along with trading labor to get things done that I couldn't do. The end result was a car on the road and the family having fun. After everyone in the family was on board with the car thing and we had made many freinds a few years later the wife was on board with rebuilding the same car and upgrading the quality. Today there are so many distractions with high dollar aftermarket parts we think we can't have a Hot Rod unless we spend 10's of thousands of dollars. The truth is that we can and do see some very nice, safe, and dependable hot Rods (not rat rods) built for under $10K.
    If you want it bad enough you will find a way!
    Walter
     
  26. MalibuKasey
    Joined: Dec 2, 2010
    Posts: 151

    MalibuKasey
    Member

    Well.... Honesty will go along way. If you work hard to support a Family no matter how big or how small Im a firm believer that you have to have an "outlet" to stay sane. Very little of my 9-5 money ever goes to the hobby. I just sold a car ive had and raced for 11 years about a month back to pay off the spending and psycho habits of the Ex. It was a horrible feeling because she HATED the hobby and my love for cars. Anything that took away from her was always an issue.
    But being an artist there always seems to be a chance to pick up side work to support the habit. The best feeling is when you get to slow down, focus on the family and can still afford to work on the car. Now im a VERY impatient person... Ive done the debt for a car thing when I was in college....that will always burn you. It took me 4 years to get back on track with that. Like JJ said.. theres alot you can do without funds... and hanging out and helping other car geeks can feed your passion for free. Cheers and goodluck!

    And with ALL that said... Ive found my future wife. She shares the love for a 55 Chevy.... just pretty and done! :) Shes been a HUGE help so far..... She has her outs, and her hobbies to.... so its a good match. Oh and because I turned her on to this thread.... She did help to paint the rotisserie this past weekend... thanks Babe!
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2011
  27. slickhale
    Joined: Dec 19, 2010
    Posts: 772

    slickhale
    Member
    from Phoenix

    you just have to never be in a hurry. i have no timelines for anything so i never have to have anything right now. i fund my project with sidejobs or turning parts when i can, it works good right now. i never let my car interfere with my family balance, it means everything goes slow but i'm ok with that.

    i have 3 kids, the oldest is 4 so i only do car work at night when they're asleep, on my break at work or on a weekend when they have other things to do. i let my oldest help when he can but bottom line i would play with my kids over working on my car anyday. you just have to find a plan that works for the whole family, otherwise it will cause more trouble than its worth.
     
  28. I have built cars and bikes all my life (literally my Ol' Man had a Speed Shop) I learned to turn a crank before most kids even had a subscription to R&C.

    My wife has never had a problem with it, She actually drags projects home herself because she thinks I would enjoy tinkering with them. Here attitude is that I don't have women on the side and even when I was partying a lot the bills were always paid and she and the kid didn't want for much.

    I don't have much of an income any more but the missus always makes sure that I can buy parts when I need them. If we are a little short I peddle something I don't need. I do buy up pieces when they are a bargan and I have the cash in hand to do so, that way when cash is too short and I see something I really need I can peddle something to get it. I look it like a savings account but it is not real liquid so it doesn't normally get robbed in an emergency.

    Slick
    You have a perfect attitude towards it. With that attitude you will be doing this long after I am gone.
     
  29. ME.GASSER
    Joined: Sep 18, 2007
    Posts: 3,617

    ME.GASSER
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    HAHAHAHAHA You are funny. I can tell you that it helps alot if your wife has the same amount of passion about the whole thing. I have been into cars for as long as i can remember. The girls in grade school use to bring in their barbie cases and i would bring in my hot wheels.
     

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