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Old Time Sayings? from the Hot Rod Garage

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by AutoArt66, Jan 25, 2013.

  1. aaggie
    Joined: Nov 21, 2009
    Posts: 2,531


    "Don't start the washing machine until you know where your cell phone is".
  2. A lesson learned hard is a lesson learned well.
  3. Just today Dad went out to the shop early and fired up the furnace. He has been working on the top for his 24 Olds. Let it heat up for 2 1/2 hours- went out for about 3 seconds and came back inside "It's colder than a whore's heart out there!"
    Pops has lots of good-uns, I just need to sit a remember them.
  4. buikwag
    Joined: Apr 21, 2005
    Posts: 472

    1. Buick Nailheads

    My signature has a saying as well!!!!!
    Joined: Aug 22, 2011
    Posts: 1,248

    from mass

    I'm as full as a TICK !!! It's hotter than two fresh foxes fucking in a forest fire !!
  6. spaner
    Joined: Aug 10, 2010
    Posts: 48

    from australia

    i would rather eat worms than have women in a hot rod club fellow members saying. does not want his wife there his other 1 is, i have to sleep with her i want a bit of my time at least 3 hrs a month.
  7. Joe Johnston
    Joined: Jun 29, 2008
    Posts: 127

    Joe Johnston
    from Ohio

    When something broke in our shop our boss always told the guy responsible

    "The only way you could be any dumber is if you was twins!"

    He'd laugh and help get whatever was needed to make the repair.
  8. VonDad
    Joined: Apr 17, 2001
    Posts: 228


    That's longer than a whore's dream.
    Tighten it down till it smokes then give it another half a turn.
    They's as simple as a creek minner. (Gosta be frum the Ozarks for that'n)
    Slicker n Owl Shit.
    And my tag line.. Father in law used that one all of the time..

    See ya
  9. Thunderroad312
    Joined: Nov 18, 2012
    Posts: 158


    Referring to a car with really bad bodywork "that thing is lumpier than a sack of walnuts"

    Or one with really loose steering, "like driving a hammock"

    a friend of mine had a particularly ill handling drag car said once commented " it drove like a safe in a wheelbarrow"

    My personal fave "If its got tits or tires, its gonna cause you trouble"
  10. rusty63c10
    Joined: Jan 1, 2013
    Posts: 87


    Cant make cheesecake out of horse shit
  11. Nitro crew chief
    Joined: May 4, 2008
    Posts: 193

    Nitro crew chief
    from Illinois

    Looks like a turd in a punch bowl.
  12. You can't polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter !
  13. Z06-LITE
    Joined: Nov 13, 2010
    Posts: 176


    From T-Bucket guys....fenders are for guitar players...
    An old one....if you gotta raise the hood to see the engine, you ain't got a hot rod..
  14. Rickybop
    Joined: May 23, 2008
    Posts: 7,305

    from Michigan

    Another 80-some year old buddy of mine...Don. I help him out a couple days a week.

    Him: "I enjoy you comin' over here."

    Me: "Me too."

    Him: "Yeah...if bullshit was music, you'd be a brass band."

  15. Rickybop
    Joined: May 23, 2008
    Posts: 7,305

    from Michigan

    My dad used to say to me, "You're gonna look funny walkin' sideways the rest of your life."...........:eek:
  16. Egghead
    Joined: Jun 6, 2012
    Posts: 55


    Out of the blue to a buddy, "You ate a what?? And you liked it??
  17. just Mike
    Joined: Jun 17, 2012
    Posts: 36

    just Mike

    The sun will shine on a dogs ass sooner or later
  18. SloppyEggs
    Joined: Jan 10, 2012
    Posts: 197


    Fucked like a couple of twins on an oil rig.
  19. Parts48
    Joined: Mar 28, 2008
    Posts: 1,487

    from Tucson, Az
    1. Hot Rod Veterans

    "Runs like a raped ape"

    "better than a hot blow job on a cold night"

    "put the two tones to the floorboard"

    "smooth as a silk pussy"
  20. johnod
    Joined: Aug 18, 2009
    Posts: 778


    Close enough for government work.

    While standing at a distance..... Looks good from here.
  21. roughneck424
    Joined: Jan 10, 2009
    Posts: 1,084


    Does a Monkey have a climbing gear?

    Slicker than Cum on a Gold Tooth!

    Aint had this much fun since the hogs ate my little brother.

    Happy as Dead Pig in the Sunshine!

    Tighter than a Nun's C*&!
  22. Harvey29
    Joined: Sep 29, 2010
    Posts: 176

    from kansas

    Stop a quarter turn before it breaks.

    Sent from my DROID device using the TJJ mobile app
  23. torque spec. 1/4 turn past snap

    on a sbc valve cover bolt......... why did ya break of two ............... hell I aint pullin it back off for one !
  24. O, and dear ol dads ...... BOY? you could F#@K up a wet dream...........
  25. ol fueler
    Joined: Oct 6, 2005
    Posts: 935

    ol fueler

    In answer to "Whats going on ?" ---- "The rent!"

    Heard a mechanic once tell a customer who had been hanging over his shoulder all day as he worked , slowing him down , when quitting time came and he started to put his tools up , the guy complained about his car not being done yet. The Mechanic looked at him and totally deadpan said-- "I don't care -- MY car runs!"
  26. BoB Beeman
    Joined: Feb 20, 2012
    Posts: 22

    BoB Beeman

    I always tell my wife, If you'd bought me for what I knew and sold me for what I thought I knew you'd be a rich woman .
  27. Bent over like a dog rootin' a tennis ball.

    Fits like a bum in a bucket.

    Fits like a cock in a sock.

    You can shit into brains but you can't put brains into shit

    G''s your bum for grubs?

    What's up your arse?

    I grew up with very influential uncles.........
  28. Can't remember if I posted this or not, but since it is winter.....

    "colder than a mother-in-laws heart"
  29. Thunderroad312
    Joined: Nov 18, 2012
    Posts: 158


    "Hope it didn't smell like that when you ate it"

    "better to burp and taste it, than fart and waste it"

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