i'm sure plenty of us are on the edge of our computer chairs waiting to see how it goes with Marcus firing up his milleneum long project, the Jimmilac! we are down to the wire here, so what's it gonna be? thrown rod? dropped valve? crack rock down the intake? bad rings? no lube to the rockers? must be a million things that can go wrong, what will it be? cause i think deep down we all suspect it ain't gonna run (long). no marcus bashing in this thread please, just good natured marcus ribbing! or if you are convinced it will run, a hypothetical first drive story will do!
The engine will fire briefly then lock up with a nasty grating metallic sound. Further investigation will reveal that a cheese grater had been accidentally dropped down the intake manifold during assembly. That night, a pack of hoodlums will break into Marcus's garage and spray graffiti all over the engine compartment. Equipped with lyrical material to last a lifetime, Marcus will move to the Mississippi delta and become a blues musician.
ray, this post has me PISSING in my chair right now...seriously. I bet it gets sold just before start-up.
True to fashion, it will take so long to obtain all the little parts to get the Caddy running, it will get back-burnered 'till Marcus' first social security check rolls in. At that point, the engine will be installed in his new "Hoveround" at old Boyd Coddington's shop. It will be a great hit until Marcus' ex wife has her boyfriend break into Marcus' house and steal it, leaving old Marcus afoot and broke, having to move back into his parent's garage, even though he really never lived in his parents garage before.
it will be stollen in the middle of the afternoon by his little black brother the painter trying to pay off the methlab he just bought off e bay
something terribly wrong will happen in his personal life...which will require him to write allllll about it on the HAMB...extremely off topic as usual...the end result will be that it will have to be stored for another year or two at which time it will be placed on ebay.
no no, it'll be like this... He'll get it running like a champ, then on his maiden voyage he'll street race some guy in a stock mustang GT, it'll pull hard off the line and he'll wind that sucker up high, then slam it into second gear and simotaneously strip all of the teeth off of the rearend gears and grenade the engine sending the pistons and rods flying through anything and everything close by. Including Marcus himself. a fitting end.
no Marcus will discover that the engine is a super rare model that were super secretly produced and maybe the only surviveing one left!!!! so it will be pulled and placed on auction with a buy it now for 20k some guy in South Africa will buy it now and send Marcus a fat cashiers check for 30k Marcus will try and cash the check and we will see another dead beat e-bay post and it will then be reposted on e-bay and sold to a gold chainer in Florida. Nads will then post pics of his new project with a Rare caddy mill next to his swazzi tweed interior and Bently grill shell
He'll pop the hood...see that somebody stole all the speed parts and dress up goodies off the engine...then he'll get pissed and threaten their lives on the internet. After that, he'll jump in another one of his cars to go see if Germ has any suddenly acquired Caddy parts that were traded to him for some bootleg punk recordings and street race some old lady in a V6 Mustang...blowing red lights and running babies over as he goes. After he spins the whole tale, and people bash him for it, he'll laugh and say it was all just a story...then go out to the driveway to find all the speed parts and dress-up goodies stolen off his motor, then he'll get in his car and...
Betting on what may happen to Marcus is a sucker-play... No body knows. He ain't even the kinda guy that you can get a smart-money read on. Guys that think they know are like the drunk guy at 3am in Vegas who suddenly says he has a "system" for roulet...
Hoo Ha!! Ray your post is funny as hell!! Your alright in my book..Zeke says you're good people so it must be true...Or Maybe its just the rush of three cups of coffee and the adranelin rush of hearing the Caddy run ...
sheeit, i was frontin for zeke when i met him, it was all i could do to "only" swear in front of his young un! i'm a grown man who does better at not swearing in front of my parents than young children! i'm a bad bad person, don't let zeke or anybody else tell you otherwise. don't forget coolant.
No matter what he does to the car,,,he's being more 'productive' than everybody else!!... I'm going to go finish sanding my grandma's wooden leg! Dirty
I don't know, but it seems that the following will surely be involved: ( a.) Meth ( b.) a cheese grater ( c.) the ex-wife ( d.) stolen speed parts ( e.) internet death threats ( f.) e-bay ( g.) living in someone's garage afterward It isn't looking good.
(h.) He'll swear off the HAMB for good because he gets too much shit from everyone, then he'll come back two days later with another long-winded story about the latest "deal of the century" which he's going to try to sell and turn a profit on. (He HAS done more than me in a long time, but this game is too much fun to pass up! ).
The Jalopy Journal
