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Folks Of Interest no response / no courtesy

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by nickthebandit, Mar 25, 2023.

  1. Sometimes when I advertise something for sale a prospective buyer will ask for more pictures, or more information. This I will do in order to possibly make the sale. However, when I comply with their requests, I often get no response, Not a no, hell no, I am not interested, or you want too much for your item. Don't people believe in common courtesy anymore ? This happened to me twice in the last week. What happened to the way we were in the past ? I try to be as courteous as I can when I am selling or buying. Why can't others do the same ?
  2. Fat47
    Joined: Nov 10, 2007
    Posts: 1,420


    Because it's not in their nature or their upbringing. I encounter this all the time over the internet in selling parts or trying to buy them. As a friend of mine says, " you just have to look the other way, it's their problem not yours".
  3. alanp561
    Joined: Oct 1, 2017
    Posts: 3,980


    Here on the HAMB for the most part, people are very good at replying and I appreciate those who do communicate. There are some, however, that will not respond to questions for information or, if they ask me a question and my reply isn't the answer they want, they don't respond to that either. It's very frustrating.
  4. Lone Star Mopar
    Joined: Nov 2, 2005
    Posts: 3,597

    Lone Star Mopar

    Common sense & common courtesy aint as common as they used to be.

  5. It's a whole new world. Not in a good way.
  6. This is what the kids call "ghosting" these days. But it's been around probably since Bell made the first phone call.
  7. banjorear
    Joined: Jul 30, 2004
    Posts: 4,403


  8. Tow Truck Tom
    Joined: Jul 3, 2018
    Posts: 1,493

    Tow Truck Tom
    from Clayton DE

    The trick is not to care.
    My kid is a pro at that
  9. partsdawg
    Joined: Feb 12, 2006
    Posts: 3,402

    from Minnesota

    Gave up on expecting courtesy years ago. I've been selling stuff for over 40 years and the only thing that has changed is the method of advertising.
    No responses from both buyers and sellers by letter in Hemmings in the? Happened all the time.
    No responses from buyers and sellers in the papers like Trading Times? Happened all the time.
    No come backs or no thanks at swap meets? Still happens all the time.
    It may seem to be a larger issue in these days of electronic media but only because of the larger number of views.
    lostmind, alanp561, bchctybob and 3 others like this.
  10. I understand where you are coming from. On the other hand, I have been guilty as charged as a SELLER. If I don't keep a PAPER list, I can "forget".
    Recently had a carburetor for sale. Guy responded. I did not see his response for a LONG while. Thankfully he did not give up.
    Getting old I guess.

  11. BJR
    Joined: Mar 11, 2005
    Posts: 9,082


    I think it is way easier to be rude or uncaring when you are not face to face or at least having a real conversation on the phone vs texting or email.
  12. Hot Rods Ta Hell
    Joined: Apr 20, 2008
    Posts: 4,623

    Hot Rods Ta Hell

    Agree with Fat47, in that it wasn't included in their upbringing. I feel the internet and social media hasn't helped as it lets people say what the want and act like they want w/o having to look someone in the eyes.
    Occasionally we'll see a noob post on the HAMB, receive a ton of informational answers, then never repost with a thanks or the results of the advised troubleshooting or parts search.

    My parents raised me to be polite (please, thank you) and to hold a door open for elderly and children, something (at 62) I still do. I'll deliberately walk extra fast to beat an elderly person to the door so I can hold it open for them. In the last few years I've noticed fewer and fewer people say 'thanks'. I'd say it's down to about 50/50. Most of the entitled mutes are under 30, and I quietly say you're welcome. Once in awhile they'll then (begrudgingly) say thanks.
    I've also noticed a trend lately where teen - 30's people that are about to walk out of a store (typically 7-11) will stop at the door if they see you walking towards the door. They'll stand inside the threshold of the "entry" double door, and wait for you to walk up (sometimes I'm 15-20 feet from the door/just getting out of the car) to the door and pull the door open, then quickly step out (without saying thanks) before you begin to step in. They're not holding a large box or anything but just lazy and rude. Peeves the hell out of me, so when I see it, I'll pull the door open a foot, let go of it and grab the other door with my other hand and walk in.
    Is everyone seeing this or did people here suddenly turn rude and selfish?
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2023
  13. Amen brother

    Nick, we were born at a time when something called manners were taught at home & school, respect was earned not demanded, unfortunately common courtesy is not going to get any better. HRP
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2023
  14. BuckeyeBuicks
    Joined: Jan 4, 2010
    Posts: 2,621

    from ohio

    I smell what you are cookin'!! Within the last month or so I have caught hell from a 20's something lady for holding a door open for her "YOU DON'T HAVE TO OPEN A DOOR FOR ME!" , A young kid at Walmart for offering to let him go ahead of me at the check out as he only had two items and I had a full cart, He told me to mind my own business!, and a lady at a four way stop gave me the finger for waving her to go ahead of me! So yea, common courtesy and the way I was raised is clear out of style these days I guess.
  15. The me generation has never heard of "THE GOLDEN RULE" HRP
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2023
  16. akoutlaw
    Joined: May 13, 2010
    Posts: 1,218


    I agree with your comments! I sked a question a week or so ago to someone that is selling a new product here on the HAMB on fitment for my model A. Not any response so far, didn't even have the courtesy to tell me to go pound sand or give me the bird! I also hate it when I list something for sale on Craigs List & a caller makes an appointment to look at it & never shows up or calls to say they changed their mind.
    impala4speed, alanp561 and Just.dale like this.
  17. banjorear
    Joined: Jul 30, 2004
    Posts: 4,403


    I go by the 15 minute rule with this. If they are late or don't call telling me they are going to be late within 15 minutes of the time of the arrival, I go about my day since more times than not they aint coming.
    akoutlaw and Just.dale like this.
  18. seabeecmc
    Joined: Jan 28, 2005
    Posts: 1,151


    Nick, you seem to have forgotten the Golden rule of sales "The Customer is Always Right" Regards, Ron bs.gif
    Bandit Billy likes this.
  19. Just.dale
    Joined: Dec 4, 2018
    Posts: 266


    How hard is it to reply, I’ll pass but thanks for your time. At least the buyer/seller can move forward.
    lostmind and mad mikey like this.
  20. Just.dale
    Joined: Dec 4, 2018
    Posts: 266


    Good idea, I’ve wasted half days waiting for someone to show to pickup things I’m giving away!!!
    dan31 and akoutlaw like this.
  21. 2Blue2
    Joined: Sep 25, 2021
    Posts: 346


    Cellphone use dampens empathy
  22. gimpyshotrods
    Joined: May 20, 2009
    Posts: 22,912


    He who has the gold makes the rules.
    carbking and X-cpe like this.
  23. gimpyshotrods
    Joined: May 20, 2009
    Posts: 22,912


    I never experienced respect being earned by adults when I was a kid.

    I was told who to respect, even if the never earned it, or did the opposite of earning it, and didn't deserve it.

    That alone taught me a solid lesson about keeping my expectations of others low enough that a rattlesnake would have to step over them.
  24. gimpyshotrods
    Joined: May 20, 2009
    Posts: 22,912


    Times change.

    Culture changes.

    The future arrived some time ago. Did you guys miss it?
  25. I think we have became the United States of the Offended !

    Like one mentioned,,,,,we are getting older and maybe some one forgot to post a reply .
    It’s really easy to do,,,,,we are all prone to forget .

    And as you mentioned,,,,,maybe they thought it was priced too high .
    You could have followed up with a make me an offer ?

    On the buyers end,,,,,if you state that you feel it is overpriced,,,,,you usually get cussed out by the seller and lectured on how this vintage part has not been made in 70 years .

    Some people sell NOS stuff,,that looks like pure hell .

    I will say that most people I have dealt with are very professional,,,,,,and I try to do the same
    as a buyer .

    As you say ,,,,it’s common courtesy,,,,,,It’s lacking now,,,,especially down South where I live .

    But,,,,,,,,who really cares,,,,,,there’s nothing we can do about it,,,,,and I’m not getting upset over who lack it ?

    Several years ago,,,,,,a nice man on here was going to sell me a Chevy crank and pistons for a SBC. 302 .
    Fairly priced,,,,,,,after he packed it and got the shipping quote,,,,there was no way I could afford it .
    I’m assuming he added a fair amount of insurance to it,,,,the extra insurance is expensive .
    Anyway,,,I backed out,,,,,,but,,,,,,I sent him 20 dollars through Paypal just to make up for his trouble .
    He didn’t ask,,,,,I volunteered,,,,,,.and after that,,,he got mad at me for sending the money !
    So,,,,,if you offer courtesy,,,,you might still lose out,,,,lol .

    He’s dead now,,,,but was still a good guy,,,,,no names mentioned .

    Go figure,,,,,,,I’ve never been able to figure people out,,,but I’m still nice when I can be .

  26. I was wondering if it was just around here in SoCal (or big cities) which it sounds like it’s everywhere. I’ve been seeing a decline since I was a kid/early teen in the 80s. It was funny to see the faces when you asked if they needed help or when you gave them something they didn't know they dropped when I was a long haired grungy kid. My g/f is the same way, it’s sometimes less intrusive if she asks them if they need help first before getting me. I can’t believe how many people will pass by an older person struggling to do something or get outwardly impatient at them when they’re at the head of the line.

    But now I’m off topic….back to the topic on hand.
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2023
    jimmy six likes this.
  27. gimpyshotrods
    Joined: May 20, 2009
    Posts: 22,912


    When I was a kid, I had to walk to and from school, 9-days-a-week (weeks were longer then), backwards (to watch for bears), barefoot, uphill both ways, in the snow, carrying my little brother on my back.

    After school, we both did our shifts in the coal mine.

    Our only day off was spent at church. That was the 10th day-of-the-week (remember, weeks were longer then).

    We never complained, or talked back to our elders.

    Things were much better then.
    jimmy six, ClarkH, Lil 32 and 7 others like this.
  28. As I read this I’m sitting here waiting for someone to show up to pick up a perfectly good office desk that I no longer need. One of the guys doing some work for me asked about it for a friend who has a school age kid. I told him his friend could come by and get it today for FREE. The guy was due here 30 minutes ago. So far no show…no call…no sign of the guy. ‘Not going to sit around all afternoon. If he’s not here in 30 more minutes I’m gone.
    akoutlaw, Desoto291Hemi and Budget36 like this.
  29. ken bogren
    Joined: Jul 6, 2010
    Posts: 1,054

    ken bogren

    They probably don't want to wear out their keyboard.
  30. Squablow
    Joined: Apr 26, 2005
    Posts: 16,984


    I'll respond to most messages if I think it's going to get me a sale, or even a possibility of one, but if the request is for something that's going to take me a fair amount of time, a bunch of pictures or measurements or something, I generally will send a short message back that requires a reply from them before I do it.

    Something like, if it's for measurements, I'll ask them what they want to use the part for. Or if it's pictures, I'll ask if there's anything specific they want to see. Only takes me a minute to write to them, and the ones who reply to that generally will reply again once I've sent them what they want. If I never hear back from the "test" message, I know it's not worth my time. It's surprisingly effective.
    54delray, ClarkH, X-cpe and 3 others like this.

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