Moral dilemma: Changing a loved one's hot rod after they pass

A little history first: Dad was into cars his whole life. Since as far back as I can remember, I have been doing car stuff with my Dad. He took me to all of the Portland Roadster shows, all of the drag races, all of the sporty car races, everything. Whatever car event he went to, so did I. Dad build plenty of cool cars with me by his side usually helping right along, but never a real hot rod.
On Father's Day, 1991, I purchased a set of '32 Ford headlights at the Goodguys NW (they were in a box of other crap at one of the vendors booths). Later that day, I presented the headlights to Dad with the words, "Now we have a reason to build a hot rod."
For the next two years, we went to many swap meets gathering parts for what would eventually become 1934 Ford pu on '32 rails with a Judson supercharged Volvo motor. The supercharger was was a give from me (another Father's Day gift) and the frame rails came from my mom as an anniversary gift to Dad.
My dad and I build his '34 Pu together, side by side, night after night, until in 1994, it was finally roadworthy. Our first trip in it was from Seattle to the West Coast Nationals. Later, we drove it to Bonneville together. We put many miles on that truck and had a blast dong it.

Two weeks ago, my dad passed away at the all too young age of 60. Although I sorely miss the man, his wits, humor and intelligence, I have many fond memories to keep my head up, along with his cars. Among them is the '34 Ford Pu described above.

Now comes my moral dilemma. 51% of me wants to keep his truck exactly like it sits today in rememberance of what my dad shared so many memories in and around. It was also built to Dad's vision of a hot rod. It doesn't need anything other than regular maintainence as it is a complete driver. Leaving it as-is would preserve a moment in time, good or bad.

49% of me would like to change a few minor things to suit what I envision as improvements. Things like 16" wheels, different exhaust, minor seating changes to make it more comfortable to drive. Dad had always talked of painting it someday, but we never hit on a final color. One part of me would like to blow it all apart and finish and paint it to carry out his dream. Another part of me wants to leave it just like it is for fear of not knowing what color he would have chosen.

Can you see my dilema? Am I being rational or just feeling the effects of losing the best friend in my life? Any advice would be welcome.

One thing is for sure, Dad's truck isn't going anywhere. It will stay in the family for as long as I am alive. In that respect I am fully comfrortable in knowing that whatever changes are made or not made, Dad's truck will still be enjoyed as it was meant to be.

Thanks for listening!

1994



2004

 

wheels and tires are easilly changed back, just stash 'em.
exhaust? well, that's up to you...
i'm sure HE wouldn't mind if you changed stuff so YOU could drive it.

nice looking truck, BTW.
i wouldn't change TOO much but it's not my truck...

 

I'd say just the fact that you are working on it and keeping it going,is a tribute to your dad. Whereas if you were to sell it or trade it for something that YOU want,would be a slap in the face to your dad. Cars change over the years and they go through many incarnations. Even if you make the few changes you speak of,it will always be the car you and your dad enjoyed.

 

Loogy, it aint like you're taking it to the crusher...lol
My Dad gave my brother a '61 Ford Stepside that Grandpa had bought new. First thing my brother did was paint it (after all, it was green). Dad didn't care, hell he didn't like green either...lol
Your Pop wouldn't mind. Remember, you're not crushing it.

 

Sorry for your loss...
Having lost both parents and a bunch of other people I will love forever, I would say its too early for you to be making decisions like that.
Leave it alone for now...you'll know when and IF its right to make changes.
Eventually I think changes will be fine.
Don't make the truck a shrine...it was meant to be enjoyed and I'm sure your Dad would want you to enjoy having and completeing the truck.

BTW...NICE truck.

 

Tough one Bro, I can see how you wouldn't want to change a thing to keep it as Dad had it, but on the other hand you want to be comfortable driving it so make the seat changes for sure, as far as painting it, if you do, just think like your Dad would have and keep it along those lines. Bad Ass little truck by the way.

 

I'm sorry for your loss - you & your dad put together a sweet little ride there..
Just owning and driving it would be gold enough.
The changes you suggest sound like the kind of things you'd have probably done together anyway, and would keep in with the spirit of the car and the man. I wouldnt worry about those changes - judging by the look of the truck as built, he'd be happy with them.
as for blowing it apart and painting it...I'd wait until it really needed a major redo. By thm you'll have less of a dilemma, as it will be a necessary job. And by then you may have worked out a color.

 

If it were my Dads,I'd leave it just like he had it...Period

 

First off, I am sorry for your loss. I have been through the pain of losing my father, and even though it was 15 years ago, I still miss him.

As far as the truck goes, you have to ask yourself, what would he want you to do with it? Would he want you to tweak it, tune it, make it your own? Or would he want you to preserve it as a shrine to his memory?

Nothing you choose to do will change the memory of the great times you had together. Those are cemented in stone.

I don't know anything about your Dad, but if he's like most Dads I know, I think he'd want you to carry on the work you started together, just as you would want your son to do when you pass that truck on to him.

Just the perspective of a 53-year old FNG.

 

First, sorry for your loss.

Second, great truck! I would change what you like without guilt. It sounds like your doing some minor things that maybe he would have done over time. It will still always remind you of the good times you had.

 

Sorry about your loss, take your time and you will know what to do.

Best wishes,
Will Kimble

 

Leave it like it is just make the necessary changes so it's comfortable to drive. That's a sweet ride, enjoy it while you can. Change will happen when it's needed.

 

Sorry for your loss, I have been in the same situation. You know, he is in a better place, and i don't think he would care one bit. My 67 chevy stepside i was going to finish it the way my dad wanted, but i really didn't care for the color. Then I saw the paint that has never seen the sun because it has been in storage for a couple of years, cracking in different places. Which pisses meoff, because the person who painted was suppose to be good friends with my dad. And painted the truck out of espect of him, well, Actions do speak louder than words When ever i get the stude done or driveable, i may go back and either strip it down to baremetal and drive it like that, or have a good friend of mine paint it a color i can live with. The studebaker truck which he gave me, will be in memory of him. He loved that truck.

 

It's yours now,just as I'm sure he intended.Do it how you want it,drive the living daylights out of it,and I'm sure he'll be looking down on you with a great big grin.
with my deepest sympathies.
Paul

 

I have a 16yr old daughter who really enjoys and understands my hobby. She is on a steep learning curve at present but loves every minute that we're out in the 34 together. She knows that if anything happens to me then my car stuff is all hers. I'd be happy for her to change things to the way she's happy with them and I know that she'll never sell them....
Hope that helps a little.

 

I know how you feel. I'm in the same boat with my 38. My dad passed in '06, and I'm saving up the money to make changes... nothing major, just some tweaks here and there, dropped spindles, 3x2's and a Fat Lucky interior (if I win the lottery.)

There's no set answer. Maybe a happy medium is to make changes you think your dad would approve of. That's what I'm going to do with my coupe. But it is YOUR truck.

 

X2

My prayers to you and yours


Now go and cut that thing up!! J/K But make it the way YOU want it, it will still be his car but through your eyes and vision, just but 20" billets on it, or he will have to come back and haunt it

 

Hot Rods are never finished, I'm betting your Dad knew that. Start with the wheel and tire change, like was mentioned earlier. If it don't feel right you can change it back. If it does you probably have your answer.

A good freind of mine has his Dads model A coupe. He is building a complete AV8 chassis and will set the original body over onto the new frame and roll the banger chassis into storage incase he wants to ever put it back.

As far as color, you have time to decide. One of these days something will jump out at you and you'll know "that's it!"

I'll hit the big 60 in January, sorry your Dad didn't have more time with you, but sounds like he did a great job while he was here.

GV

 

it's only been two weeks since your loss , your emotions haven't settle down yet..i know because when my dad died i was at a loss to figure out what to do with his stuff. i suggest you wait a few months and see how you feel about things then

you will probably come to the conclusion a few changes won't hurt anything

 

sorry about your loss
I inherited my fathers farm along with it flooding problem
I waited a while and decided to change it and make it mein, put up a dike and made it a wonderfull home to live at and made lots of changes to the fields and made it a whole lot better
someday you will have to make the truck yours, and it always will have your fathers work somewhere in it

 

sorry for your loss. I think your Dad would be proud of you keeping his hotrod. it would be hard for me to change to much on it other then the things you mentioned.

 

I say change it to how u want it to a certain extent. The paint is hard bc you dont know exactly what color he would want... everything can be restored back to how ur dad had it. Im sure he'd want u to make it more enjoyable to drive..Just make sure the seat is comfortable bc im sure hell be there next to ya everytime u fire it up!

 

I second the idea of waiting..... maybe spending some time reflecting, remembering, laughing...etc take some time and a beer, cigar or .... to hangout with the truck. No specific purpose, just hang out.

Maybe in the quiet it will be loud and clear

Sorry about your father, strikes close a bit to home. My father and I have a 33 cab, fenders, box, some beat 33 coupe rails, front axle, spindles, rear end etc in a pile in a local shop. He lives 1000 miles away retired/busy with a house project, as for me I've been not getting much done with my 52 hardtop.

Clocks running and still the truck pile sits.

s.

 

sorry to hear of your loss--lost my dad too at a too young 58--now I'm gettin' up there (65+)----the 55 will go to my son someday--it's nice and I think he won't change too much--but if he does--it's his car then---no problem

 

Chris, I consider myself a friend to you and your father. I am so sorry for your loss. Your dad was way too young too pass. My best wishes to you and your family. I really liked your dad. Good guy all around and I saw how much you enjoyed doing all the Northwest events together. I feel you should make the changes you want. It will improve the truck. Make it more practical and enjoyable to drive. You should use that truck. Your dad would have wanted it that way. PM me if ya wanna talk. Hotrod friend, Dale

 

I'm a 67 yr old dad of 2 sons. I have a truck and car that will be passed on (not for a while I hope). The real important memories are the times we spent together!! We raise our kids to be self sufficiant and independent. I would hope they would keep the cars as long as they were not a burden, to change and improve them as they saw fit, and to spend time with there kids, and then pass them on. I know as a dad, I would want them to be happy and have no remorse!!

 

Sorry for your loss loogy.

I too built a 34 ford p/u with my Pops while in HS (late70's) as a before traditional was traditional rod that was full fendered on skinnie spokes. It had a 3-4" chop & late merc flattie/3 speed & was painted green cab with blk. fenders.

In the 80's he offered it to me as a gimmie..... I had moved away & didn't have storage space - plus I was into drag racing & "thought" I'd never want that ole truck in the hot south..... WHAT AN ASSHOLE I was!

Although my Dad has NOT passed I kick myself all the time as it was a "living" memorial of a time that can NEVER be replaced or changed.

I'm sure I'd have changed it somewhat if I was able to get it now.

The moral of this story is: Either way......you will never be ever to change the past & regardless of the changes you make to the truck in the future you will STILL have those times & memories - forever.

Best of luck of your decision

Paco

 

Rods are evolving beings. Your modifications added to your fathers work will leave an excellent vehicle for your son to keep building on. Don't modify to the point where is won't be recognizable as your fathers.

 

My condolences on your loss. I have lost both my parents and still find many times I would like to ask questions but time goes on.

As far as making changes to the truck. I am sure your Father would approve. Consider your relatiuonship with him. Was is static or were there changes over time? I am sure there were changes (both good and bad). He sounds like the type that considered hotrods ans usuable works to be enjoyed. Did he make changes to other cars after getting them running?If so there is your answer.

Good luck with your decision and enjoy a nice looking vehicle.

Tim

 

I know and feel for ya. I am doing the same thing myself. I can tell you for sure that your Dad would be be happy with what you want. He would be more interested in you than the cars you build.