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"Mechanical Genius" comments you've heard?

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by CustomCab, Mar 7, 2009.

  1. Licensed to kill
    Joined: Oct 4, 2009
    Posts: 214

    Licensed to kill
    from Alberta

    :confused: Used kleenex? what, you've been wankin' off and felt the need to share that with the world???? Not sure what that has to do with my post or this thread but, whatever floats your boat. Perhaps you misunderstand the term "Hot rod". In North America, it refers to CARS. You should have no trouble finding a site dedicated to YOUR passion.
  2. Ratfink749
    Joined: Nov 16, 2008
    Posts: 89


    ...Thank you for that. And yes, filling the filter and lubing the o-ring are good things to practice. Cycling the key just keeps the fuel system up to max pressure before starting. Has ZERO to do with the oil system. Now I'm going to go tighten up the carburetor belts.. I think I've got an EFI engine running lean over here.
  3. I was adjusting (letting out) the air pressure in the rear tires of my OT 68 Cougar at the Friday night drags at SIR when a college friend in my frat walked up and asked what I was doing. I told him I needed a better bite off the line so I'm taking 5 pounds of air out of the rears.

    He explained in great detail that it would better to add a bunch of air to the rear tires because they would be obviously be wider with more air, I replied "interesting theory".

    I believe its likely a reference to you being a "skirt wearing nancy" who wants to save the world one poor misguided soul at a time...or they'll be damaged for life, need therapy and not amount to anything.

    "Life is tough... its even tougher when your stupid" - John Wayne
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2010
  4. wingman9
    Joined: Dec 30, 2009
    Posts: 804

    from left coast

    Sorry - can't be done. I had a front left brake piston hang up in a Ford that was still under warranty so I took it it to a dealer. The brake guy told me that the reason the pads on the offending brake were almost gone was because the front left wheel is closest to the master cylinder. Therefore it came on first and did most of the work. Wtf? :eek: The guy evidently didn't know how a hydraulic system works. I left before he could do any more damage.
  5. Licensed to kill
    Joined: Oct 4, 2009
    Posts: 214

    Licensed to kill
    from Alberta

    :D:D Can't save 'em all. Sorry I was unable to save YOU. :D:D
  6. Leevon
    Joined: Oct 5, 2009
    Posts: 400

    from Nixa, MO

    Had to get my truck inspected in Missouri at an unfamiliar shop. The guy wanted to reject it because there "is a big gouge in the rotor".

    I replied "Really, how did one exactly the same get into the other rotor too, better go check it out".

    He still didn't get that they were made that way, and this was a brake/tire joint. I had to have his boss release the inspection slip.
  7. billsat
    Joined: Aug 18, 2008
    Posts: 418


    When my niece was in high school her mother (my sister) bought her her first automobile, a little Toyota puddle jumper. She came in one evening and told her Mom that she'd had a flat but not to worry, her boyfriend had changed it and everything was cool. My brother in law went out the next morning to get the flat out of her trunk in order to get it fixed and couldn't find it. When he asked my niece where it was she said they'd thrown it out in the woods. When he asked why she'd done something that stupid she said her boyfriend had told her they weren't any good once they'd gone flat and to just throw it away. Too stupid to live as they say.
  8. Maybe you should start reading it again. Brian was somewhat correct on this. Not that you shouldn't use stainless, but in that it indeed does grow in length when it gets hot. I do prototyping of stainless exhaust systems for production and can tell you for a fact that they do indeed grow when they get hot. I just finished the 2011 Mustang and we see about 1" on that car. We measure this to make sure we don't have contact between the pipes and or mufflers and anything around them. Some of the full size trucks we do, especially long bed 4 door types will grow over 2" from the headpipe to the tip. It is one of the reasons that the current hangers are made from a rod that slips through a hole in the rubber and you will see an inch or more between where the rod goes into the rubber before any bends in the rod - to allow for the expansion/growth.
    A friend had a custom exhaust put in his wifes Navigator. It melted the rear valance where the muffler was. At first he thought it was just radiant heat until he saw some of the melted urethane from the bumper on the muffler even though there was about 1/2" clearance when cold. When hot it was actually pushing against the bumper cover.
  9. Clearly this guy had the right idea to ensure that he was not running his engine without oil pressure waiting for the filter to fill. The fact that he was a bit misguided in the cycling the key to run rather than cranking the engine I would have thought a good opportunity to help the guy given that he had some idea of what idea of what he was trying to achieve.

    I wouldn't be condeming this guy to this thread because of that. This naivity just doesn't compare to some of the boneheaded stupidity that is being related in so many of the posts here.
  10. floydjer
    Joined: Feb 4, 2010
    Posts: 212


    Nah...that just makes their eyes rattle..Point out to them that H.Ford worked as a machinist for Ransom Olds..That makes their heads explode.
  11. Pietro
    Joined: Mar 31, 2010
    Posts: 22

    from Moscow, Id

    I recently stopped at a gas station to get some booze while driving my diesel truck (I know, not hot rod...) and I didn't notice a diesel nozzle so while I was at the checkout I asked the clerk if they had diesel. He looked at me confused and started pointing down one of the aisles so I asked him again and pointed out my truck. He once again gave me a blank look and started trying to point me towards something down one of the aisles again. I gave up on that whole notion. Didn't bother to look myself because if they don't know what it is, they probably don't have it...
  12. EZrider
    Joined: Jan 19, 2006
    Posts: 46

    from Waco, TX

    Years ago in Colorado I got stopped by a CHP because my 40Merc was lowered in front. He had decided that was very dangerous, because with the front already down the front end couldn't "dive", therefore the car would flip over on a sudden stop. I tried to reason with him, but to no avail. He didn't give me a ticket, but promised to impound my car the next time he saw it if it wasn't raised back up to stock height. I quietly left the state one evening weeks later. And never took that car back to Colo.
    fuckin' idiot
  13. Danoflapper
    Joined: Mar 20, 2010
    Posts: 16


    I just went and picked up my '53 dodge from the exhaust shop last night. They were just finishing up on it. There was a '70-something Thunderbird on the lift next to my dodge so I was checking it out. It was pretty rough and had a TON of bondo crappily smeared and rattle canned a blue that didn't quite match the rest of the car. So I'm checking this thing out and an older gentleman walked up and said, "looks like you've got antique night going on". The shop owner just smiled and nodded. So i decide to knock on the bondo quarter panel and it made the most hollow plastic noise a car could make. The older guy said "Sure thing, they don't make them like they used to." I just said, "no sir, I bet not." That one had me smilin' pretty good though.

    When I was paying my dues a lady rolled up a shredded tire and was asking about getting a new-used one. She pointed at my truck and said, THAT THING probably has better tires than my corolla. I said, "what's that supposed to mean?" Lucky for her, her phone rang so she picked it up, gave me a dirty look, and walked away.

    Also had a guy tell me his life story when I was changing the exhaust manifold in the parking lot the night before, told me he was a "marine seal" but didn't get to go to Vietnam because he was intolerant of high humidity. I just smiled and nodded.

    People are crazy, even here in little old Zeeland.
  14. My Dad & I were at Tuxies in Riverside, and this was around the mid nineties. We're looking at a car, an I bring up the question 'why is it important to let the engine get to operating tempurature, before really getting on it'. That's when this guy decides to tell me, each cylinder has to heat up and expand to 'full round'.. because they are actually bored oval. So premature tempuratures would damage the rings. We just walked away..
  15. johnny bondo
    Joined: Aug 20, 2005
    Posts: 1,547

    johnny bondo
    from illinois

    that is hilarious.

  16. plym49
    Joined: Aug 9, 2008
    Posts: 2,797

    from Earth

    Interesting. Do they grow evenly stem to stern, or more at the frant, or maybe more at specific areas (like the cat)?
  17. GuyW
    Joined: Feb 23, 2007
    Posts: 567


    If the system is all the same temp, it will lengthen evenly....and hotter portions will lengthen more than cooler portions.

  18. I'm waiting for a story where someone manages to convince a moron that the expansion of stainless exhaust pipe can be used to help with erectile disfunction.
  19. rrayne
    Joined: Oct 11, 2007
    Posts: 77


    Ok this is my story. I went to buy an engine June 17th this year from a hamb guy. im sure you will be reading this. i just didnt have the heart or time to tell you and or argue you about it. any way its like this. the ad said rebuilt hotrod 327 engine out of vette. $400. im thinking cheap enuff and good enuff for another quick build and sale. i call, show up, look at engine and i see that its been painted gm orange. everything gasketcs inside ports etc...i asked him about the parts that went into. he says this to me.
    "its got a 3/4 rv race cam, custom intake(stock cast iron with a edelbrock sticker) and a set of performance pistons and crank out of a 454." after a few seconds of the clint eastwood squint i said "oh sounds like a monster. i will have to see if my buddy will loan me that cash". and left.

    Story 2. a friend of mine, not a close friend told me his buddy had some new chevy engine parts for sale. so i went over to his house to see what he had. he tried to sell me a new set of push rods in the factory package. The package was cut and stapled back together with a home stapler. you could see where the old oil cam out of the rods and was bleeding into the new oil he put on them and the worst part......are you ready for it.......wait wait.......the brand new unopened pack had 7 rods. yep 7. that guy has a nick name to this day. some of you guys may know him as shortrod.
  20. Zookeeper
    Joined: Aug 30, 2006
    Posts: 1,042


    No disrespect intended, but there's a HUGE difference between 3"-4" and 1". Personally, having owned cars and bikes with stainless exhaust and having never seen such radical growth myself, even 1" seems like a lot. I mean if the exhaust system were 10 feet long, the thermal expansion would have to be .100" per foot! Not to mention that thermal changes would take place mostly near the front, since it's the hottest, so it's reasonable to assume that the front is likely expanding at TWICE that amount, while the rear, or the coolest part of the system may be barely affected at all, right? Also, wouldn't the diameter also grow by the same ratio? You obvoiusly have more experience with the stuff than I do, but until I see it in person, hopefully you can understand my skepticism.
  21. floydjer
    Joined: Feb 4, 2010
    Posts: 212


    So...They were pulling my leg with that one ????
  22. Da' Bomb
    Joined: Apr 8, 2005
    Posts: 438

    Da' Bomb

    Um, I don't think it was your leg getting pulled....By the way, the coeffiecnt of expansion for stainlees varies between .00008 & .000096 per inch, per degree. Something like this dl = (8 10<SUP>-6</SUP> in/in<SUP>o</SUP>F)(10 feet) (12 in/ft) ((212 <SUP>o</SUP>F) - (32 <SUP>o</SUP>F))

    The formula was ripped off from here:
  24. Idiot: "I know a place where you can get big block 350 chev crate engines for $150"

    Me "Really? 350 big blocks are pretty rare" :D

    Me "If your going to restore it you should leave it matching numbers"

    Same idiot "Yeah, I will, I'l get a fuel injected block for it though"


    Idiot 2 (talking about Datsun with factory motor)"I'm gona bore it out to a 350 chev"

    Idiot 2 "It's got a 308 chev"

    Me "It's a Holden motor"

    Idiot 2 "No it's a chevy dumb ass"

    Me "Chevy never made a 308, it's a Holden"

    Idiot 2 "Yes they did"

    Me "No they didn't, it's a Holden engine in a Holden car, look it even has Holden written on it"

    Idiot 2 "It's a chev"

    Me "Holden"

    Idiot 2 "Chev"

    Me "Holden"

    Ect ect.

    Idiot 2 "Well my cars faster then yours"

    Me "Your car doesn't run"

    Idiot 3 (talking about WB Holden ute) "Could I lower my car by putting the leaf springs in upside down?"

    Me "Hey Jenna, do you know what a piston is yet?"

    Jenna (the blonde in disguise) "Yeah, it's a trophy"

    Me "Huh?"

    Jenna "You know, like the piston cup in that Cars movie?"

    I (and many others) proceeded to wet my self laughing.


    Kroombit likes this.
  25. ol gasser
    Joined: Nov 21, 2006
    Posts: 333

    ol gasser
    from here

  26. koolit
    Joined: Jun 27, 2009
    Posts: 35

    from cen cal

    Detriot pistons and Onion rings. Is the term we use for the know it alls that ask silly questions.
  27. dabirdguy
    Joined: Jun 23, 2005
    Posts: 2,404

    Member Emeritus

    I'm wagering the "author" confused 3-4MM with 3-4 INches.
    Kroombit likes this.
  28. Me: F-100 Nats in Pigeon Forge, TN
    I'm standing in front a friends nicely restored (not modified) 56 F-100. The hoods up and it's a V8.
    Up walks Genius and son. Genius tells son, "Looks like this guy put a 312 engine in this one". Son nods approvingly.
    Me: I offer- &#8220;No it&#8217;s the original 292 that came in the truck.&#8221;
    Genius says- &#8220; Nop, I&#8217;ve seen a bunch of these&#8230;. that&#8217;s a 312. Too wide fur a 292&#8221;. Spits tobacco juice on the grass.
    I just smile and move on.
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2010
  29. Zookeeper
    Joined: Aug 30, 2006
    Posts: 1,042


  30. DougHH
    Joined: Jun 24, 2009
    Posts: 273


    no, its to dry your eyes when you finnish crying. i cant believe you require explaining. wow.

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