Man, Louie isn't gonna like THIS!! (City trouble!)

I have posted this before. The following are for entertainment only. Do not do this. Does your neighbor or the busy body who rides around have a garden? Weed killer works good.Or if they have a nice grass throw cheap grass seed all over this will also attract lots of birds. Sodium silicate when poured on a windshield dries hard and wont come off.Any dead critter that will fit in a mason jar add 2 inch water seal tightly and hide the jar. After a while the gases will explode the jar and will make the hardest puke. Stink bomb take a quart jar add a quarter inch drano add 2 inch water let set in a warm room for about 1 hr with the lid on. Take the lid off add 6 egg whites add quater cup methlene blue let set for 5 weeks. when ready to use shake and throw the bottle and let it break. Bad stuff. Call all the charity groups in the telephone book give them you neighbors address and tell them to come pick up things. Order things and have them delivered. If you can get to the oil pan drain the oil and replace with water. this way the presure light will go off and instant cooked bearings.Go to where the transient workers hang around and give them some money and the address and tell them to remove all shrubry and tell them you will pay the rest when they are through.Horse linament works good put on door knobs ,chairs or if you can get close in a crowd have some in a small bottle and squirt in their shoes. Cut off the water valve by the meter and fill with quick setting Sackcret cost about 600 dollars to repair.Revenge is best when served cold.

 

I had a 2 car wide gravel parking spot and a grassed parking spot next to it. Got told that i couldnt have the car on the grassed area ....... Had the whole area paved... then i was in compliance.
Bitch next door had turned me in.

 

See now you know what it feels like Fat Hack?
I'm sick of having dirtbags like yerself as my next door neighbor. You think your car should be treated different than some '84 Chevette simply because the wonderful and temperate Michigan winters haven't swallowed it up in 50 years? Just because something manages to live beyond it's natural life span doesn't mean it should get automatic respect. Collectible or not.
I wish my friend's asshole 23 year old cat would up and die. That loose boweled feline with the personality of an angry pufferfish shoulda been put down when it still had use of 75% of it's legs.

I always make sure my shit's neat and tidy because the Historic Preservation Board Stalinists are an evil but just bunch.
The secret in my eyes is the disguisment off offending pieces of shit.
The seat from my '54 Chevy is disguised as an Adirondack chair. A few 2x4s and door hinges took care of that.
The recycling bin overflowing with beer bottles and Chinese take out boxes is now a delightful working Hawaiian volcano.
The Consul Capri as it appears from the street is a Tiki Bar. Bamboo wallpaper with a thin layer of visquine can work wonders.

But the cars that do look like junk I have titled, registerd and insured. This way the elitist yuppies in my neighborhood can't legally say shit to me.

Is it worth the expense?

You bet yer ass!!!!!

 

One twist on what K9 Racer said, Instead od dead critter and water (YUCK!!!) just throw some chicken breast in the jar and fill it about 1/2 way with milk. You will NEVER get rid of that smell!

 

I could never get away with having a junkyard in my neighborhood, not to mention that I live at home... My buddy had a similar problem - too many mullet camaros in his driveway - he got his neighbors to shut up by registering the car and sticking a plate on the back. If it's registered, they can't say anything.

 

If their car has the "pull up "type of door handles,some toothpaste or dog doo spread underneath with a old spatula will work wonders!

 

I prefer the vasoline, bearing grease, or best of all graphite grease on the windshield wipers, just lets them know that someone cares...

 

As seemingly simple as that seems, it sux. What I mean is, if Dearaborn is like Plymouth, it won't matter that it is plated and insured. They have this gay ordinance about immobile vehicles, basically you can't have any car that you're working on in the city limits...EVEN IN THE GARAGE!!!! Yes, ludicrous as it seems, you CANNOT restore a car in your own garage within the city limits. In the township, yes, but not the city. And, to make matters even better, even though my house was built in 1930, and has a gravel driveway, I am not allowed BY LAW to use it, except for portions that are cement, or asphalt... no brick pavers (explain that to the people on harvey st, the high rent district, that THEY can't use their $30000 driveway.) I got tapped for parking my 2000 Chevy Silverado on the gravel portion of my driveway, 3 separate times!!!!

FUCK SUBURBS!!!!

But the Goddamned city fags move out to the country, cause it's peaceful and shit, and drive the prices up, so folks like me who appricieate farm land and it's use (not to grow subdivisions) can't afford to live the life we were brought up on... then complain cause country folk do country folk stuff, like hunt, or mud bog, or have wild orgys... or complain that the horses that seemed so scenic when they were looking at their fucking "dream house" are stinky and make noise late at night...

Assholes.

But I digress. You can't fight city hall bro, I've been that route, trust me, I got the fines to prove it.

But we can fuck with Olga...

I like the tie a dead skunk to her catalytic converter trick...

Jay

 

Why do you think I am enjoying driving my bro's Dodge so much... ahhhhh Flowmasters.... and I leave for work at 4:20 AM!

And, it has no choke, so it HAS to have a fast idle warmup for at LEAST 5 minutes, EVERY DAY!!!!

Jay

 

ok, first off, rocketj2, bitchin signature. good song. second, i had this idea back in high school, but it is kinda dangerous in an itchy sorta way unless you are the rare person that is not allergic to poison ivy! always wanted to crush some up, fill a squirtgun with it, and go to town on doorhandles or etc. never did it, but wouldn't it be sweet. LOVELY how freedom of speech and property rights only apply to those with money. protection from tyranny my ASS.

 

Maybe you and Hack could "fork" her lawn, or "political sign" it...you know the drill. It's not corn season anymore...

 

"Fork you, Olga" in forks in her lawn would be poetic, wouldn't it?

Or, just put her house up for sale every other week...



mashed potatoes work well too.

Or do what I always wanted to do to my old neighbor , RIP... She's lived there for awhile, right? So her house may not be "totally" up to code, right? Well, turn the tables. Tell the city ordinance inspector that you were visiting, and noticed that they had everything in their house run off extension cords, and you feel it is a "safety" hazard to the houses around it. Could burst into flames any second...


ChromedRAT, thanks. Primus sucks
Jay

 

why do you want to fuck with this old lady? you were in violation. so she pointed it out. correct it and the problem is solved.

i know if someone was to pull some of this shit everyone is talking about on a relative of mine, they would think the $500 fine was getting off light. maybe she has grand kids crazier than i am.

anyway, it's god damn christmas. do the right thing.

 

Jay,

I forgot about the instant mashed potatoes...your old lady neighbor next door died? Man, that's like 15 people this year that I've either known, known of, or known through people I know that have died this year...scary.

 

Yeah, this spring dude. Shoot me a pm, bro, for that week we're off.

Jay

 

yeah man, i was very much joking about the poison ivy thing especially in this case, just a fucked up idea i had way back in high school, dumb stuff. never did it, most likely never gonna. turning the tables and seeing what violations you could see of theirs wouldn't be too bad, turnaboutis fair play i think, but i'd say most if not every last one of us weren't serious about doing any real harm, especialy since this is in public and out in the open! remember the link someone posted about the ford SVT dealership mechanic that posted on an SVT cobra board about how he thought the owner was some "stupid woman" and as proof posted her personalized plate number and people on the board fuckin knew her????