A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found on average,Americans drink 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means the average American gets about 41 miles to the gallon.. Good luck.Have fun.Be safe. Leo
Wow, I probably drink that much coffee but alky? Maybe 2 gallons a year. Shit! I hope this doesn't make me a hybrid...
We don't drink alcohol but the older I get the more flatulant I am. So I'm ashamed to admit I probably get 10 miles to a gallon of gas, not even ethanol enriched. Sent from my SM-S320VL using Tapatalk
My Great grandmother, was not one for BAD words but her opinion on beer was..."The best thing to do with it is to pour it back in the horse."
And if Grandmaw didn't like someone she would say..."He reminds me of the South end of a North bound mule."
Why don’t cats like mouse flavored cat food? When it rains, why don’t sheep shrink? Sent from my iPhone using The H.A.M.B. mobile app
I've heard "I never drink anything stronger than pop, but Pop'll drink just about anything". We used to drink a lot, then we were early 20s going to a party I told my wife just for fun let's not drink. So they had lots of food, everyone was getting tipsy...then drunk, the whole time wife and I drank soda and enjoyed all the great food. Friends would come by, fill our glasses with whiskey which as we walked through kitchen poured down the sink without anyone noticing. By midnight everyone was snockered...except us! We had a blast watching everyone else getting hammered. The next day we woke up no hangover. Haven't drank since. What's odd to us is friends and neighbors seem pixxed if you don't drink with them. They seem insulted. Sent from my SM-S320VL using Tapatalk
The last time I remember gettin anywhere near smashed was a huge pool party , 40 plus years ago . Went to a huge pool party , everyone was in the bag when a Bud and myself arrived . I sat by the pool and drank a couple cool ones , women everywhere . You just knew as the night carried on , someone was goin in naked . We were not there 30 minutes , my Buddy says “ man I’m headed to the head , dropping a deuce !” I’m thinkin OK , lots of info . This house was huge pool house , I ground pool , tennis court , all you can think of . My Buddy is gone tops 3 minutes returns , and says we got to leave NOW ! I’m thinkin this isn’t good . We exit head to the scooters . We get ready to fire up and leave , I proceed to ask him , what in hell did you do ? He says man I’m tore up something terrible , must be the Tacos from today . I ask well , did you shit your pants or what is goin on ? He looks at me straight faced as a Saint could look at me and says oh hell no , nothing like that . I say well why are we leaving like your head is on fire and your azz is catching ? He says “ man I had to dump it 4 times , I ran out of paper , and had to wipe my Azz on the shower curtain !” I said “ you what ! Are you nuts ? ! “” He answers back “ damn don’t be so mad , I used the inside it will be days before they find it !” I was laughing so hard I could not kick the old Bastard to life for 10 mins . Great Buddies I have aren’t they ? This is why I never drank another drop !
So I bump into a friend at a bar. I ask of they drank too much. He says " No. Never. But there is a chance we were over served!"
Some more hot rod , race car humor...something you don't see anymore, everything and everyone has to be all into the want to be Bad Ass image, instead of a little humor and a laugh it's all yelling, fighting bitching, drama crap... The hobby seems to be more enjoyable when you can not be so serious and bitter about everthing , take time to have a laugh and crack a joke in fun and not to be negative...ya shit happens...things don't all ways go the way you want them to go...then deal with it ..crack a joke ...laugh a little..and continue the ride....or yell and throw things, call everyone Dumb mother Fuckers, down a few, quite a few, beers and smash the cans on your head...fall down pass out...actually I guess there is some humor in doing it that way...as long as your the one watching... Have a laugh and enjoy the ride. Sent from my SM-T387V using The H.A.M.B. mobile app
Another lifetime ago I was at a friend's house helping his Dad paint something. His Dad asked me to go in his shop, he needed another paint brush. I handed it to him, an old one, he says "get me another...this one's as stiff as a wedding d*ck!" Funny especially as a kid. Sent from my SM-S320VL using Tapatalk
Sent from my iPhone using The H.A.M.B. mobile app www.speedoservice.com Should I rush your rush job or the rush job I was rushing when you rushed in?
The Jalopy Journal
