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Joined the "Dead Dad's Club". It SUCKS!

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by Splinter, Apr 11, 2012.

  1. Splinter
    Joined: May 14, 2005
    Posts: 1,112


    Pop passed away on the 16th of March. "Dead Dad's Club" is the CRAPPIEST Club I've ever had to join. The dues are astronomical, and there are NO benefits to being a member. So, those of you that are members- who do you talk to about the really important stuff? Where do you go for advice? I could ALWAYS count on Pop for wise counsel. I'm 42 years old and feel like a kid lost at the fair.......
    I know this has NOTHING to do with Hot Rods, but figured some of you guys could lend some sound advice. Maybe if I posted some of those pics of Pop when he was 16 in the engine compt of his 40 Ford it would tie in nicely with the board. I'll get to work on that.
  2. Splinter, who gives a fuck if this is on or off topic? Not I. I wish I could help you, so very, very sorry to hear this.
    My Dad may 'only' be my step dad but I will be looking for help to when he goes, no one in my life has done more for me and I look up to no one else as much.

  3. gimpyshotrods
    Joined: May 20, 2009
    Posts: 17,904


    I'm in that club too. Sucks. I'm sorry, man.
  4. fbama73
    Joined: Jul 12, 2008
    Posts: 989


    It is a shitty club to be in, and after 6 years, it doesn't get any better.

    I still talk to him like he were still standing in front of me. I've found that I think enough like him that if I have something on my mind that I would ask him, an answer comes to me- and that answer is usually what he would say.

  5. NAES
    Joined: Dec 24, 2008
    Posts: 484


    I'm definitely in the club. I was a member early on with my dad getting chronically sick as a kid but pops didn't officially check out till I was much older. In a way I got tough quick and had to take my lumps in life through experience rather than advice. It's been a slippery slope but the lessons I learned in life with him being there but not made me who I am.

    I guess what I'm saying is that you realize all the ways you are so much like your father well after he is gone and how much he influenced you.

    Sucks but you'll get through it. NAES
  6. 50styleline
    Joined: Apr 23, 2010
    Posts: 366


    First, prayers are sent. I lost my Dad back in 1995. He was only 57. I am one of eight kids he had and have no idea how he and Mom managed. He was there for EVERYTHING. Now that I am raising my own family I think of him often. In every situation I face, big or small, I consider "How would Dad deal with this?". His legacy has many positive resources that I am able to tap into on a regular basis. It's gonna be hard to deal with your Dad being gone but time truly does heal. Honor his memory by sharing his legacy with as many people as you can.
  7. Ghost of ElMirage
    Joined: Mar 18, 2007
    Posts: 758

    Ghost of ElMirage

    Chin up Splinter I know how ya feel been there A LOOOOOOOOONG time now wish I had my dad back for just a day. To grab a beer with and some hotdogs at a Red Sox or Bruins game. You have my paryers and condolences to you and your family.
  8. UnsettledParadox
    Joined: Apr 25, 2007
    Posts: 1,107


    i hate my old man and still wish he'd live forever
  9. Splinter
    Joined: May 14, 2005
    Posts: 1,112


    Going through Pop's stuff I found an envelope with a blue ribbon in it for the Santa Monica Concours in 1963- for his 1926 Ford Depot Hack. He also had a 1958 or 59 Chev with a 348 and tri-power. He gave me my first car, a '56 Jag 140 "Special Equipment" Roadster, and to his dying day kept the '27 Packard 8-Passenger Sedan that I plan on restoring now. Our Dads are our first heroes as little boys. I think those memories stay with us forever.
  10. skull
    Joined: Jun 26, 2007
    Posts: 498


    it's been 9 years since l had my dad to talk to, cancer took him:(

    it gets better, but you will always miss him.

    if you have any of his cars, fix'em or drive'em and enjoy the memories.

    try and turn the negative into a positive.

    my way of doing that: l am building a cancer crusader in his memory, he raced a1937 chevy on dirt for years. l am putting a 194Oish dirt track street legal car together to go out raise money for cancer patients and fund research.

    it helps me heal and helps others:)

    you are in my thoughts, take care,

    Later :cool:
  11. davo461
    Joined: May 13, 2007
    Posts: 345


    Sorry for your serious loss !
    Having been a member for 62 years, I can tell you "That hole ain't ever gonna heal up".
    It just gradually gets smaller.
    Just make sure that you hang about for a long time.
  12. 53Hattie
    Joined: Mar 11, 2010
    Posts: 374


    I feel for you pal, my folks have been gone for only 3-4yrs, Dad was 90 and Mom was 88; and I can tell you for sure that even at 62 I still felt like an orphan! I still have occasions when something will come up and I'll think, "well, I'll have to run that past the folks" before I pause & remember that they're gone. It'll get easier, but they'll always be with you, and there will be those moments! Only natural, when you consider that aside from you yourself, ...who ever ever knew you better!
  13. Been a member almost 8 years....worst club I ever joined....It gets a little easier with time...remember the good times....
  14. fonti
    Joined: Nov 28, 2006
    Posts: 486


    Well...I'm in this club since 8 years now...he was 69.

    It gets better, believe me. But there will always be moments when "everything" comes back again. Like right now, when I'm typing this with tears in my eyes...

    Think about the great times you had and what a great guy your dad was!! All the best to you, Peter
  15. Original57
    Joined: May 5, 2010
    Posts: 159


    Sorry to hear about your ol' man. I've been a member nearly 12 months. I think about my ol' man every day. God we used to laugh. Like a32flathead said, remember the good times.
  16. tommyd
    Joined: Dec 10, 2010
    Posts: 11,328

    from South Indy

    34 yr member here. I was 20 but I feel like he is still around because I use many of the skills he taught me every day. Thanks for letting us in and it does get better.
  17. Stroker McGurk
    Joined: Feb 17, 2012
    Posts: 291

    Stroker McGurk
    from Canada

    Member since 84.......he was only 57
  18. Mines been alive but never been around he has never even seen any of my grandchildren! Consider the time you did have and cherish the memories,I have none...
  19. 48FordFanatic
    Joined: Feb 26, 2011
    Posts: 1,335

    from Maine

    I became a member at the age of 5 weeks old. I was born on October 6th , my dad died on November 13th at the age of 37. Be sad for your loss, but be thankful for what you had.
  20. Mr48chev
    Joined: Dec 28, 2007
    Posts: 28,398


    Sorry to hear that. I lost dad 9 years ago.
  21. Ray C's son
    Joined: Dec 27, 2009
    Posts: 410

    Ray C's son

    Been a member since '08 but Alzheimer's took him from us about 4 years before that. I still think about him everyday and smile. It does get easier but never goes away. My condolences to you and your family.

  22. GeezersP15
    Joined: Dec 4, 2011
    Posts: 552

    from N.E. PA

    My Dad passed away unexpectedly in 1985. The pain fades, but never goes away. Mine wasn't too much into cars, but was a master carpenter, and a true craftsman. He taught me a lot of valuable lessons and skills, and I'm thankful for that. Just try to focus on the good times with him. You'll get through it, but you'll never forget. Hang in there.

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