I'm in shock as my hobby is being taken from me!

1. You MUST find a good lawyer! If money is an issue, contract with him to give him 50% or even as much as 100% of your ownership and take as long as he can in filing all the paperwork to effect all that, buying you more time for his work.

2. Is it Homesteaded? If not, go do that in YOUR name. It can be easily established that it is YOUR homestead only since only YOU have been living there and have been paying the taxes, upkeep, etc..

3. Change the locks immediately. Leave home only when you know they are all at work. They might all swoop in, move your stuff out and "take up residence", putting the burden of proof on you instead of them.

4. Don't move any of your stuff out. The less desirable it looks, the less it will appraise for. Have several appraisals done in its current condition and surface only with a few of the lowest of them. With your lawyer's help, offer to buy out the other 80% on a 30 year note.

This may sound underhanded but if they don't appreciate what you've given of yourself for their dad, they would care less about a half blind vagrant. DON'T WAIT ANOTHER DAY - YOU MUST MOVE FAST.
Chuck

 

You say a "matter of weeks" but have they given you a set time as to when they WANT to see you out of the property?

I've read this a few times now and I guess I'm just not understanding everything completely or I don't share the same sympathy, at least for this situation. What you did for your dad was very commendable, and based on that time and sacrifice, and the agreement you made with your kid brother before his passing, you've been blessed with 2 1/2 years of living on what sounds like a decent sized place that you enjoy, for the cost of only paying the property tax. Is that a fair trade? Hell no, but I know you feel like the world is crashing in on you right now, and that's a "glass half full" outlook to the situation if nothing else.

You mention being "to broke to pay attention", but also owning a lifelong collection of gearhead stuff, two garages full of parts, a basement full of 100,000 worth of magazines, and the recent acquisition of another project. Also I don't know the extent of your visual handicap, but if you're able to still drive a hot rod without legal restrictions, than how does this effect your daily life anymore than anyone else who wears glasses, or even deserve mention to the situation other than to collect additional sympathy?

I don't want to sound jaded or unsympathetic as I know the heartbreak of loss, and honestly I'm extremely sorry for the loss of your father and brother, I really am, but to describe the experience of taking care of your own father for five years "life sucking" is just beyond understanding, even if it was the hardest thing you've ever had to do. I guess I'm just not seeing how things are as bad as you're making them out to be, or how so much sympathy has been placed at your feet without reading between the lines. It's just what makes a man a man, the oppurtunity to roll with the punches. It's already been mentioned but if they want you out within two weeks, that of course would just be unreasonable and wrong, but if they want you out within a matter of months, and/or are offering a fair buy out to you of there 80%, I don't see how what they're doing has been made out to be so "wrong", or how it would be considered the "right" thing to do, to tell them that their 80% ownership is worthless because you don't want to make a change, and to discuss that with a lawyer if they don't like it.

If I'm missing something just let me know, but that's how it was put out and that's how I'm reading it. I don't often reply to topics with this much to say, but I work with people for a living and you mention being "helpless" and not being able to eat or sleep, and I don't wish that on anybody! Saddle up and ride this one out, sometimes it's hard sometimes it's easy, but it could be so so SO much worse.

 

Sorry to here about your situation.. I hope everything works out for you.. Carl

 

I don't know how it is there but in Texas if an estate can't be settled the state will do it for you. That is what's going on with the wagoner that is over 500,000 acers. Some of the family wants to sale and others don't. The state stepped in and told them to sell it.

 

Do you need the help or not?

 

It is a Judges duty to hear both sides of a story and make a judgement. If the parties involved can't make a settlement, the Judge will make it for them. All of this takes time and you don't have to obey orders to vacate until some one of authority tells you and they will set the time table. If someone tries to force you to move, call the cops and they will sort it out on the doorstep. You are the legal resident it sounds like.
One time I tried to get a boyfriend of my mothers to move out and the cops said that was his residence and I had to have a court order. I sent my Mom to my house and my brother and I stayed overnight with the son of a bitch and by morning he was ready to move.
My thoughts.

 

Obviously posted by someone who has never been a caregiver for an extended period of time. Watching a loved one slowly die does suck the life and energy out of you. Taking care of my mother was very difficult for my Father and I was there to help him several days a week. When his dementia prompted the County to insist on full time care, I moved in with him and hired a caregiver to spend days with him. My sister was very up front about everything. She moved over 1,000 miles away when my mother started having medical problems because she couldn't deal with it. My brother, who lives a couple of hours away, would visit two or three times a year. When my mother died, he wondered how much money he would get. The will left everything to the surviving spouse so he didn't get anything. If I wouldn't have stayed with my Father, it would have cost $3000 a week for caregivers to have him stay at home. A nursing home would cost $7000 a month and the County would have sold the house and everything in it at auction.

When you take care of someone like that, it's like working 24 hours a day. You can't take days off. You can't go anywhere. My Father liked to wander, especially at night. I had alarms on the doors to wake me up if he tried to go out. I got very little sleep those days.

 

What he said ^^^^^! As my mother's only child when she contracted dementia we moved her in with my wife and I. We were her caregivers for 3-1/2 years. Unless some of these posters have actually been caregivers for an extended period of time, they have no clue what they're talking about! I won't go into the details but yeah, it does suck the life out of you!

As far as getting a lawyer, just be aware......the only persons that win in these situations are the lawyers! When mom passed my 4 step-siblings decided we spent too much of mom's money on her care and sued us. We took a small stipend for ourselves on a monthly basis. The total for her care, and I mean everything from a roll of toilet paper to insurance co-payments to our monthly stipend equaled $2800 per month. A board and care facility with a 3 person shared room runs $6600 per month. My 'dead to me now' step-siblings called mom maybe 25-30 times and visited her approximately 10 times during the 3-1/2 year period. 2 of them live 30 miles away and the other 2 are about 100 miles away. Long story short, it was settled in arbitration. They got half the house (which I had sold and put their half of the money aside, planning to give it to them anyway) and they won from us $45,000 which they split among the 4 of them. BTW, the scumbag step-sibling that led the charge is a multi-millionare!

It was a 2-1/2 year battle that cost us an additional $40,000 in legal fees. Bottom line, after their legal fees the losers pocketed around $30k each (which was the amount I set aside for them from the sale of the house), I was out $85k = $45k judgement + $40k legal fees and the $300 per hour attorney bought a new Mercedes!

Lawyers = scum of the earth!

 

I am no lawyer, but I know a bit about fractional ownership in WI.

From my understanding, pretty much what Fenders said above is right on.

I would change the locks and offer to sell my 20% for roughly the full value of the property, non-negotiable.

In order to force a sale, they will need to sue you. Most likely, the judge will side with the majority and order a sheriff's sale. Proceeds to be divided amongst the owners.

This will all take time, and if it gets to this I would tell you how I would handle the auction.

Good luck....I am very sorry for your losses and disgusted by your siblings.

 

Thanks to all that have replied and pm'd. I very much appreciate your support. Sorry to hear that others have similar experiences.

 

Absolutely.

 

Sure hate to hear of crap like this... it's times like this when I'm glad I was an only child, or as my Dad (a former Navy man) always said "only one to speak of". I hope you can get things worked out man.

 

^^^^ GREAT point!

 

QUOTE=Engine man;8007091]Obviously posted by someone who has never been a caregiver for an extended period of time. Watching a loved one slowly die does suck the life and energy out of you. Taking care of my mother was very difficult for my Father and I was there to help him several days a week. When his dementia prompted the County to insist on full time care, I moved in with him and hired a caregiver to spend days with him. My sister was very up front about everything. She moved over 1,000 miles away when my mother started having medical problems because she couldn't deal with it. My brother, who lives a couple of hours away, would visit two or three times a year. When my mother died, he wondered how much money he would get. The will left everything to the surviving spouse so he didn't get anything. If I wouldn't have stayed with my Father, it would have cost $3000 a week for caregivers to have him stay at home. A nursing home would cost $7000 a month and the County would have sold the house and everything in it at auction.


When you take care of someone like that, it's like working 24 hours a day. You can't take days off. You can't go anywhere. My Father liked to wander, especially at night. I had alarms on the doors to wake me up if he tried to go out. I got very little sleep those days.[/QUOTE]



My grandmother lived with us in the home I grew up in for several years until her death outside my bedroom. Being young my father obviously took the majority of the weight in caregiving, but every member of my family had a hand in making her last days the best they could be. Diabetes took her sight and her legs, so together we converted the family van with the accomidations needed to travel with her, it's one of the first car projects I can remember working on with my father. As well we built all the ramps she needed to get around the property on her own, one of the first times I swung a hammer. I read to her almost every night before her passing because that's what made her the happiest, it's how I learned to read. Was it hard for my father and our family, probably the hardest thing we've gone through together to this day, would we call it "life sucking", the words come nowhere near our tongues. It was a blessing and an honor to spend those last days with her.




I don't say that for sympathy of anykind, or to take anything away from the amazing thing that you and the person that posted this topic did by stepping up for their family, from the sounds of it this guy did it by himself without the help of his family, extremely commendable, I say it because you have no idea who I am, just as I don't know who you are, or all the details of the person who posted this topic, and the situation he's in. All I can do is speak on the details that were given, and ask for more to either change my opinion or to solidify it. Is this really as bad as it's being made out to be, or does it not warrant the sympathy it's been showered with?



He's not singing the blues to his dog or a beer, he's telling to to the world, and asking for help and advise, just as someone would sitting at a bar in the presence of others. The guy on the barstool to the left gives him blind sympathy and a warm "it'll be ok", while the guy on the right a colder shoulder and a "suck it up and be a man." Are either right? Not neccessarily, but the opinions of both may just help the man depending on how he recieves them.



This whole post the guy on the left has been talking, and by the wording of the topic and the fact that this thing here " " was actually included in the heading, that may be exactly what he wants, but for the sake of overcoming the situation it might just be helpful to hear from the other guy to, and for the sake of keeping this topic somewhat related to this site, OP post a picture or describe your favorite car magazine from the collection nearing 100,000. It's all paper and metal in the end but no matter what happens, no one can take that one away from you.

 

Again I'm not out to attack the guy in his time of need, just trying to give a different perspective.

 

I dont know where things are for you, but is it a matter of paying the taxes? Or is it a total money grab for the family property?

If it is taxes can you rent out a section or room to make the difference?

I would guess you have talked to the other parties and they are set on selling the property?

Sorry to hear and i am hoping for a solution for you.

 

Jim is legally blind, without a DL, has no relatives in the area, just a few HAMB'ers who help him out on occasion. Imagine having to feed and bathe your father while being visually handicapped... not very easy.

This is a big deal... I'm prepared to do whatever I can to help from loading his stuff into my 48' trailer and putting it into a storage facility to finding him a place to live in a more hot rod friendly town.

But we must help him get this deal straightened out... there's no way the system should allow this to happen especially on such a short notice.

 

Absolutely not, just not the way I would describe caring for family.

krooser thank you for the additional details. When I hear someone is building a truck, the obvious assumption would be for the purpose of driving it. For those who know Jim I'm sure it's all hands on deck, and that's great, for those that don't, the story reads much differently for some. Either way, I don't wish that king of depression on anyone.

 

Jim,
PM sent..I am in for whatever help you need my friend.
Bob

 

i have heard of things like this and they couldent get the person out till he couldent pay the bills or he moved out on his own see a lawyer

 

get a lawyer.you have a right to live there.My mom went through this with her mom and then brothers.You can be compensated for the time spent with your father.good luck.

 

You REALLY need to get an Attorney who is a heavy hitter in real estate laws and matters. It is almost impossible to evict a person if they don't want to go, and for them to put a 2 week eviction on you is just nuts, and they are hoping you will fold.

I know people who have been living in their home for over a year without paying the mortgage and the bank can't get them out. Some banks are even offering cash money to people who will just go without a fight, it is cheaper for them in the long run. I also know people who can't even get a live in GF to move out because she gets her mail there and the cops can't so anything.

If you can't afford an Attorney, call your local Bar Association, there are Attorneys who do pro bono work for people who can't pay.

Good luck, and don't give in too easilly.

Don

 

Man that sucks ! Good luck and hope everything goes great!

 

sparkydeluxe... That's a hell of a lot of backpeddling, after questioning the OP's intentions. And you obviously don't understand a thing about real care for the elderly. Here...I'll help ya out a little.

Even at a measly $8.00 an hour, the OP would've made $1,344 a week, if he had been paid for doing what nobody else wanted to do. That's $69,888 a year, and $349,440 for 5 years. And make no mistake...in most of these situations, it's absolutely a 24 hour a day job, with long periods of boredom, punctuated by frequent episodes of stress and/or terror. The 24hr care-giver is responsible for almost everything...cooking, cleaning, laundry, baths, making beds, remaking beds, remaking beds again, entertainment, administering the CORRECT meds at the CORRECT time, transport to and from doctors appointments, carrying out directives by the doctor, etc...and a lot of "peri-care". You don't know what peri-care is? "Peri" is short for perineal...which has to do with a person's private areas. Thus, peri-care is the care of all that goes on down there. It's a shitty job. Not to mention, that especially toward the end, if the patient has lost their mobility, it's up to the care-giver to provide the means of transferring from bed to chair, chair to toilet, and back again. If the poor soul should lose their cognitive abilities, (brains) that REALLY adds to the work-load...and the emotional stress. And in the end, it comes to pass, that the patient loses the battle...and the care-giver feels that too. And after all is said and done, regardless of lip-service from the family members, it is proven that nobody really fully appreciates all that the care-giver has done. More often than not, they do not honor the patient's wishes in regard to what he or she wanted the care-giver to recieve. In fact, it's not uncommon for the family to show downright disdain and rudeness toward the care-giver...during the care...and after. Think about it...these people wouldn't even consider doing this stuff. They are, by definiton...selfish...and stupid. Sometimes, family members don't come around for months. When they do, they wanna soothe their guilty concience, by expressing what THEY think the care-giver might be doing wrong...hah!...disgusting. And sometimes, the care-giver has to witness these self centered assholes going through the patient's belongings...even before he or she has passed. "Oh...look what I found...an unopened Salad Shooter! Oh goooood! Hahahahaha!" ..........That's like, OMG disgusting. And sometimes...believe it or not...family members will steal from the care-giver. Now that's just so hard to understand.

You said you were open to being made more aware. Are things starting to become clearer for you? I hope so.

By all rights, MG should be GIVEN the fkn house.

And yes, I was the hypothetical care-giver...in every regard mentioned. I took care of my neighbors who lived two farms down the road...93 year old Lee and Norma, for a year until they passed. A couple of the sweetest folks I've ever known in my life. But most of their family...not so sweet. At one point, it became obvious to me that Lee and Norma needed help...yet nobody was ever around. I came around to help almost every day for months before the daughter finally hired me. I was not thoroughly trained or prepared to do this...I had only just gotten my Certified Nurse's Aide licence. So it was like trial by fire. My sweet wife, Sandy, also pitched in. She's been a nurse for over 30 years. It was a God-send to have her input and help.

There are certain intangible rewards for doing this kind of thing. Basically, a good feeling knowing that you did the right thing...and made someone's end-time as enjoyable and stress/pain free as possible. Sandy and I gave Lee and Norma their last Christmas...it was fkn awesome to say the least. Very very touching. I couldn't help but cry. Sandy too. Lee and Norma too. Shoot, I'm tearing up just talking about it. Dammit. But you can't get around the fact that some aspects of it truly can...in MG's words..."SUCK".

God bless Lee and Norma. God bless you, Max Gearhead. God bless us all.

For quite a while, I had been looking for an excuse to introduce Lee and Norma to you guys. How 'bout now.

Lee, in his spiffy new hat, checkin' out some dumb socks. "Ooooh...nice!" lol. Lee was one hard-assed farmer. And never had a bad word for anybody. I learned a lot of stuff from him. Me: "God is good?" Him: "God is GREAT!" Those were our last words to each other.



Norma, tryin' out her new shawl. Sweet as can be. One in a million.



Together.



And one more. If you guys aren't tearing up yet...try this one on for size.




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Great post Rickybop, you and your wife know what friends and neighbours are.

 

Well said Ricky.
That's how we intent to be. Forever together.

 

I was my Dad's caregiver too. It very clearly is a position that's taken for granted. We lost him in 9-07 and to this day I get shit over his remaining estate from 1 sibling. I was lawyer'd up right away, but the things said to me, the endless trips to court (for essentially nothing), attacks on that which I've done both with dear ol Dad and alone, well let's just say she can't understand normal thinking.

In your case, you've been there how long? Lawyer says it doesn't look good? You were advised once or twice already, get another advocate. If you have that much stuff you're not w/out means. Keep your head protected and KEEP PUNCHING. If your visual imparment allows you to read get your happy ass to the biggest library in the area and hit the law books. You don't need 8yrs of college to know law and precedent. Google is also your friend, or the state's ".gov" site. There's as many lazy and ambivilent lawyers as there are hack car guys. Find the hook and hang your troubles out on it for good. From the outside lookin in, having been there (although not to your extreme), you're in a good position. 1 thing about billing for care, there's a time limit for that in most probate laws. I hope you haven't passed that window. Good luck.

 

Try contacting your local city, county, and/or state government and see if they have a department to help seniors. There may be help out there.

Cgarlie Stephens

 

I'm one also! Well said! Greedy relatives suck!