If Santa was a Hamber

Once again we approach This special time of year and once again I would like to wish all Hamb'ers a very Merry Christmas.
If Santa were a Hamber, I can tell ya this,
We would all get our wishes, not a one of us would he miss.
There'd be no coal in our stocking, of this you can be sure,
There'd be a new mig welder sitting on the floor.

And over by the fireplace standing proud and tall,
There would be a brand new torch set there to please us all.
Hand tools scattered all about the place,
Enough to put a smile on any Hamber's face.

For those lucky enough to have a heated shop,
He'd leave a fridge full of beer and that would be hard to top.
And for those less fortunate, this is what you'd see,
Insulated coveralls and gloves under the Christmas tree.

Santa may be a Hamber, who are we to say,
We'll just have to see what happens to us on Christmas day.
So be good girls and boys because ya never know,
If the real Hamber Santa might be the one to show.

Happy Holidays.........

 

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all thru the shop,
I searched for the tools to hand to my pop.
Hotrodders, this night, all snug in their beds,
Would dream of a chopped top with fresh coat of lead.
Instructions were studied and we were inspired,
To hotrod this car, some assembly would be required.
We opened the boxes, my heart skipped a beat,
Let no parts be missing or parts incomplete!
When up on the roof I heard something pound,
I sprung to the window, to scream, "Keep it down!"
I looked on the roof, up not very far,
I saw a strange vehicle not like any car,
It had bits and pieces, it sure was no fake,
It came from Detroit, a little of each make.
'40 Chevy, '32 Ford, and even some Rambler,
A red light upfront reminiscent of a reindeer.
With a top hat and tails, his eye gave a wink,
It was "Big Daddy" and his friend, the Rat Fink!
This heap needs some big help, he said of our rod,
I have what you need, just give me a nod.
His helper's eyes were bloodshot and scary,
Flies buzzed his head that was very hairy.
Now bolt it, now weld it, with a bang and a thud,
We knew his work, this car wouldn't be a dud.
They worked through the night, with hammer and torch,
Out of their way, we dozed on the porch.
He jumped from the shop in a big cloud of dust,
Come dig this lead sled, Come quick! You must!
I threw open the door and opened the shutter,
The car was just perfect, paint glistened like butter.
We gazed at the car, Big Daddy was perplexed,
He was trying to decide just what to do next.
Something special was needed, a touch that he might,
Bestow on this Custom to make it just right.
As he stuck his finger on the side of his neck,
He flew thru the door to land on the rear deck.
He whipped out a brush, a gold handled Red Sable,
And added the touch, no picture or fable.
When he was done we beholded the sight,
It said "Merry Christmas, And To All A Good Night"

written by Leon Biesiadecki

 

Christmas on the Porch
Twas the night before Christmas & out on the porch,
The cider pan on the stove was starting to scorch.
The rum we were drinking was taking affect,
So we were all nodding as you might expect.

The rum bottles were all lined up in a row,
In hopes that more cider was soon to show.
All of a sudden we heard such a clatter,
It seems that damn Ol Mell had fallen off the ladder.

What he was doing there we didn't know,
But when we looked out the window he was laying in the snow.
We drug him inside & when he came to,
We all asked him what he was trying to do.

He said he had climbed halfway to the roof,
cause he thought he had seen a reindeers hoof.
We all ran outside with lantern in hand,
Hoping to see if that reindeer would land.

We must have missed it because all we could see,
Was a streak in the sky & we couldn't make out what it might be.
When we went back in the porch imagine our surprise,
There were presents all over we couldn't believe our eyes.

We were all aghast at what had transpired,
Even the stove had been recently fired.
We looked out the window to see a bright light,
So bright that it lit up the night.

That streak in the sky had made a turn to the right,
And was just about out of sight.
Then we heard a load voice in the night,
Merry Christmas to all & to all a good night.

Ol Mel will swear to you to this day,
That he had touched the runners on that sleigh.
Now Ol Mel ain't one you need to cottle,
But now & then he just can't turn loose of that bottle.

© 2002, Keith L Adams