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I need the world's ugliest running/driving car.

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by Johnny Sparkle, Sep 11, 2007.

  1. you need the stealth cruiser - it ain't that cheap though :)
  2. 41woodie
    Joined: Mar 3, 2004
    Posts: 1,078


    I'll give you my mother-in-law and her car for free. The cars pretty nice but her face would scare the ticks off a hound dog. Just sit her in front of the house in the car and the for sale signs should bloom like daisies.
  3. Plowboy
    Joined: Nov 8, 2002
    Posts: 4,255


    Yeah, like that would be a stretch! Ha Ha Ha

    Johny Sparkle would kick that inspector in the balls because Johnny Sparkle makes his own laws.
  4. hotrodladycrusr
    Joined: Sep 20, 2002
    Posts: 20,746


    Too bad I sold this.........
  5. Eryk
    Joined: Jul 5, 2005
    Posts: 920


    Apparently, it has a 302.
  6. photofink
    Joined: Apr 14, 2007
    Posts: 651


    Im glad someone got a pic bfore the thread was deleted....I cant stop looking at it
  7. Flat Ernie
    Joined: Jun 5, 2002
    Posts: 8,406

    Flat Ernie
    Tech Editor

    AMC Marlin. Ugliest American car ever made.
  8. spoonman
    Joined: Jul 17, 2006
    Posts: 45

    from salem,ohio

    a non running car is bad, but porta crappers in the yard is good? wow.
  9. bob-n
    Joined: Aug 29, 2006
    Posts: 79


    HAMBers could use this in a positive way!!

    One by one we drag our lawn ornaments to your place and deposit them in your driveway.

    One by one the city comes by and hauls our shit away.

    Works for me... the inlaws are headed south tomorrow, right through your neck of the woods. Can I send a turd with 'em?
  10. uc4me
    Joined: Feb 3, 2006
    Posts: 516


  11. hotrodladycrusr
    Joined: Sep 20, 2002
    Posts: 20,746


    YOU WIN....HANDS DOWN!:eek:
  12. photofink
    Joined: Apr 14, 2007
    Posts: 651


  13. You need to get ahold of a 70 something land bardge (i.e. Olds full size wagon), lop off the top from the B's back, maybe even down to the frame, and build one of those rustic, make shift "barn' style campers in it's place.
    (reference the movie, I think it was "Oh, God" with John Denver.
    Make sure it's nice and ugly w/ pots, pans, rusty cans, tiolet seat.........
    ....and a runner. That'll piss everybody off.
  14. motor mikey
    Joined: Jul 17, 2002
    Posts: 260

    motor mikey
    from hanover pa

    Don't they know who you are. I'm Johnny Sparkle bitch. This is a bunch of shit. Why does the government find it necssesary to mess with people. I mean I understand why we have laws and such, but get real.
  15. ka-zoo
    Joined: Oct 20, 2004
    Posts: 509


  16. OLLIN
    Joined: Aug 25, 2006
    Posts: 3,076


    I used to see this parked in santa monica all the time...

  17. straykatkustoms
    Joined: Oct 30, 2001
    Posts: 13,594


    This is the one that would work out good for ya.....
    Late model running gear is the only plus with this
    ride...... Yes, it is for sale.

    Happy Trails,


    Attached Files:

  18. shpotty
    Joined: Aug 14, 2007
    Posts: 247

    from New Jersey

    What you really need is some help and the SEMA Action Network can help you. Check them out right here:<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:ffice:eek:ffice" /><o:p></o:p>
    They've been fighting comedy like this for years in every state. They can point you in the right direction if you need legal help and provide a host of information to put you on the right side of things.<o:p></o:p>
    And on a personal note, you don't want just an ugly car, you want an ugly MOTORHOME! A 28-foot, 25-year old Winnebago that takes up half the block and can be used to shield the Studebaker from prying eyes and malicious towing would be my weapon of choice. Load the interior with cinder blocks to bring the weight up to untowable levels just to see the tow truck break when they try to haul that thing away.
  19. mercury Bill
    Joined: Dec 16, 2002
    Posts: 581

    mercury Bill

    Several years ago I had kind of the same situation, non operable vechicle....I took a 5 horse brigs and stratton engine and made an adapter to couple it to a pulley on a 3-speed manual still using the centrifical would only do about 8mph at best but it was operable. They pretty much quit bothering
    Joined: Jun 3, 2005
    Posts: 8,118


    Democracy...word up a petition and present your case. If ya wanna be a dick about it do it as quietly as possible. 26 people managed to get snowmobiles banned from Yellowstone for a short time. They did it quietly but used lies and deceit. It was those lies that got it overturned. All of us old car freaks have as many, and in some cases more, right to pursue happiness as the rest of the world. Remeber that we are all environmentalists and ecologists as well as historians. We routinely re-cycle and do our best to keep some of our stuff out of landfills. The preservation in practice and as a whole needs no explaination. I can't be the only one that "gets it" on this score.
  21. Kramer
    Joined: Mar 19, 2007
    Posts: 911


    You are not wrong in my opinion.

    Funny how laws very so much around the country. Were I live I can have a untagged nonoperatable car on my property with no problem. On the street no. Well if I moved it 300 ft once in awhile it would be okay.
    The problem with power is that it finds people who like to be bullies.
  22. Nocero
    Joined: May 16, 2002
    Posts: 489


  23. damnfingers
    Joined: Sep 22, 2006
    Posts: 1,287


  24. scootermcrad
    Joined: Sep 20, 2005
    Posts: 12,368



    This lady may have the right idea also

  25. to bad you dont live here.. i've got an 83 buick park avenue with an olds diesel, holy crap is a pos lol but runs good... smokes like bill hines too lol
  26. ynottayblock
    Joined: Dec 23, 2005
    Posts: 1,954


    this thread reminded me of an e-mail i got

    hows about this:

    Attached Files:

  27. Dunn or Ignatowski?
  28. plan9
    Joined: Jun 3, 2003
    Posts: 4,035


    id rather live next to a guy with 20 porta shitters in his backyard than live in hollywood or beverly hills again... its a shithole.
  29. Fat Hack
    Joined: Nov 30, 2002
    Posts: 7,709

    Fat Hack
    from Detroit

    This is it! Runs and drives and only $199!!! :)

    Ha Ha...I love the way he says "It's so rusty it shouldn't be out on the road"...PEFECT!!!

    Just fill the back end up there with all sorts of junk and put some steer horns on the end of the hood and a home-made pushbar made from your neighbor's gate and it'd be just what you need!!

    :D :cool:
  30. hatch
    Joined: Nov 20, 2001
    Posts: 3,667

    from house

    How about a Bill Clinton "Tribute car".....Oscar Meyer weinermobile with some "customizing"....add balls and hair.....maybe paint it "anatomically correct". Then spend your saturdays waxing it....(well, maybe not you waxing it), unless you're a GMB of course....better get some hooters girls to do that part.

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