The Jalopy Journal
Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by CPR Customs, Feb 9, 2006.
I always thought it was...
Measure 3, times think twice, and cut once.
"The light was yellow officer".
"If it is stuck,Hit it. If it breaks it needed replacing anyway"
"Street Rod, Shit man this is a Hot Rod"
"Mister what are the white squishy things on the front of your car? I say they are bugs son,bugs I say. You won't find them on trailer queens. They be on real Hot Rods that are driven"
real hot rods do/don't have (insert lame ass statement about cars in an attempt to make your shit box superior for one post on the HAMB)
I have Grease under my fingernails, Not in my hair......
That thing's faster than a dose of salts through a widdy woman...
Hotter than a blind queer in a hot dog factory
On the back of a Chevy 4x4 that you could walk under:
Lift it - fat chicks can't jump...
And we all thought Gassers were for weight transfer on launch!
Whatever turns your crank
Wharever turns your crank
No one ever got cancer from smokin...tire's
and the come back to that was no!...but your sister was cut in the back seat!
Im no gynacolajist...............but Ill take a look
From one of my old friends while working on projects together..."Dont ask me, your fucking this cat..Im just holdin its tail."
Rev 'er til she pukes!
Bondo , the other white powder.
This one came from a great guy who I bought old british parts from in 1971 and 2 and 3 and 4 ..well a long time till he died...Herb Stelter in downtown Houston, Southwest Imports.
We looked at a pressure plate I was trying match up and the one he pulled was not right he said... "nope can't make that fit with two hammers".
As always he found a proper unit that was a perfect match in his pile of parts.
If she had as many dicks sticking outa her as she's had stuck in her she'd look like a porcupine.
you don't have to go fast if you look good..................
you don't have to look good if you go fast...................
"Drive it like you stole it "
Never let a man with a claw hammer in his tool box work on your car.
real hot rods don't have valve covers
Don't lift until you have daylight under three wheels
Real race cars don't have doors
Climb aboard, drop the hammer, nail a Ford
my dad use to say when discussing putting a large motor in a small car. "sure it will fit, if you drop it from high enough."
Yes, I like....
Oh, you meant....
here's some ive made up and heard over the 18 years of my time on this weird ass planet:
"trailering a hotrod is like taking a hooker out to dinner"
"she's never seen a lawn chair or a set of tailights...."
"if your passenger's not screaming, you're not going fast enough!!"
"dammit, i got a honda stuck in my hood scoop again..."
"the police never think its as funny as i do"
"the back seat's really comfortable if you're a quadruple amputee.."
"she'll beat anything on the road, as long as a corner doesn't come along"
"i call it coyote, because it cant catch up to anything and it keeps blowing up."
Dad said "sweating like a dog shitting peach seeds!"
"Built like a brick shithouse." -Somehow that didn't seem like a good thing!
Ain't got brains to pour piss out of a boot with the directions on the heel.
I miss my non-car lovin dad! He liked Will Rogers and was always quoting him too.
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