Funniest lines from the parts counter

Just when you think you've heard or seen them all .....it happens.
Yesterday a young guy comes in and purchase's an air tank. Ok pretty normal.
Today this same young guy comes in and wants to return the air tank he bought yesterday. WHY??
Its defective, there's no air at all in it................are you kidding me !!
And they let people like this eat with a knife and fork...?

 

A gal in front of me was asking the counter kids what was wrong with her 88 Celebrity.
The kid askes "When did you change your spark plugs last?"
She said" Oh silly it does not have spark plugs its fuel injected"

I went home with her, took the plugs out and they had 1/8 inch gaps or no electrode left, just a stump.
When I started it up and slammed drive, it did a front wheel drive burn out.
She said it used to do that all the time. I told her, when it wont do it, change the plugs again.
When I left the next morning, she said thank you.

 

Oh, we don't need this.

 

I was working on a brand X engines exhaust manifolds. When I went to put it back on, the bolts would not start. Common problem for those engines, so I go to my local parts house and ask the manager, a parts guy I have known for years asked for the manifold stretcher/ spreader. He laughed and said come on what do you need? I again said a manifold stretcher! This went back and for a couple of times, finally I had to get him to get me the Lisyle book and looked it up myself. When he saw the tool …his jaw about hit the ground! It was hilarious! We still talk about every now and then! Lol






Bones

 

Last week I'm at the counter buying parts and a guy comes in carrying a potato .
I had to wait and see what he needed .

Guy says I need a exhaust pipe adapter that's this size holding up the potato.

He had shoved the potato in the pipe to cut a ring the size he needed.
Parts guy pulls out calipers and measures the impression in the tater and they go over to the exhaust part with the potato and match it up.
I was actually impressed by both parties.

 

Ok I understand you want the rest of the story.
During dinner we talked about black powder firearms, so two weeks later we went shooting.
Then we frolicked in rondies for 6 years.
When she left I gave her my flintlock, and she left that chevy in my back yard.
If you doubt the story , I have her address, she does not own a computer.

 

Probably the most sensible thing I've read in this thread so far

 

You are lucky you don't need lug bolts for a ford tractor A 3/4 bolt about 2.5 inches long $58.50

 

So my anecdote goes back to a Saturday morning about 50 years ago, 8am at the parts counter, 2 guys behind the counter and I am one of a half dozen customers lined up. The guy ahead of me asks for points for his six cylinder Chevy. "Condenser as well?" "No thanks, just points". The counterman checks his book, goes and picks the part and is writing the carbon copy invoice when the customer says, "I'd better have that condenser, after all." Lookup. Pick Write. "Might as well have a rotor, too." Repeat. Then for a cap. Then for spark plugs. And what the heck, a wire set while we're at it. The counterman is professional and is moving fast, but the customer line up is growing. Meanwhile, Mr Chevy six is opening all the boxes on the counter, and when he gets to the points, a capsule of dist cam lube falls out. "What's this for?" "Well sir, you're installing these parts yourself, right?" "Yes, I am." "Perfect. When you're all finished, try starting your engine. If it won't start, swallow that."

 

And I thought the potato was the optional gas cap for 58 Cadillacs.

 

not his first time around the block...so to speak

 

Didn't want more, I wanted a lot less. Like none. It's not a HAMB story

 

Me: I need a torque converter for my OT vehicle.

Them: Does that vehicle have an automatic transmission?

 

When I was a youngin' making oil deliveries I brought in cases of oil to a biker/motorcycle shop that I've never been to before through the front door. Behind the counter was a very attractive woman with a couple tough guys standing behind her just staring at me.

Concerned, I was thinking maybe they wanted the oil delivered in back instead. I looked up and said to the girl, "Do you like it in the front or do you take it in the rear?" The tough bikers started to smirk and one of them said, "Now I've heard everything!" My face turned red.

 

Would have been a HAMB story in My garage

 

I don't know any 90 year old women that do have computers.

 

I used to like the guy's who came in looking for muffler bearings !!!
Jimbo

 

I stopped at a Advance Auto to get windshield wipers for my daughters car, the one question I would never have guessed from the skinny teenage employee was, " Is the car a 2 door or 4 door"? HRP

 

Man walks into a part store and asks for a part.
Kid behind the counter says "Yes sir, we have that!"

 

Oh yeh, four doors, especially red ones have different parts!

 

A while ago,I walked into a parts store for windshield wipers.A very attractive female got them for me and offered to put them on for me! Well macho me said I could do it, my wife was in the car! Well it was raining and I pulled off my farsighted glasses to see wahat I was doing and layed them on the hood! I got in the car, remembered my glasses ,,went out they had slipped off the hood and I stepped on them! If I would have let the gal put them on, it would have been $15….my way $180!




Bones

 

In the 90's or 2000's, a Dodge Stratus 4 dr. was a domestic car while the 2 dr. was all Mitsubishi that kinda sorta looked like the 4 dr. I think other models were like this, too.

Gary

 

From the other side of the counter. An attractive young lady came in and asked "Do you have two inch balls?" "Yes ma'am, right over here." I kept a straight face until she giggled.

 

ME: I need a brake line with end fittings.
PARTS GUY: How long do you need it?
ME: Long time, gonna' install it on a car.

 

My old man set an alternator on the counter of a dealership and the parts kid asked if he needed a new thermostat.

 

My Dad sends me into the parts store with a $10 bill and a can of soup. Im young, I really have no idea why he’s not coming in the store. I ask for 6 hose clamps that fit over the can. The guys at the counter look at each other and the one guy asks i f my Dads name is Joe. I said yep, how did you know?
He says my Dad does the same thing every time his exhaust starts getting loud.

 

Yes it does matter on a lot of cars.. Honda for one

 

Model A truck I bought had a flex hose with different size ends on it Ask a guy at a parts at a store if they had one with it in my hand. he told me no body makes a hose like that one somebody stretched it . for future reference NAPA carries hoses like that