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Funniest lines from the parts counter

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by 59Apachegail, May 13, 2012.

  1. Deuced Up!
    Joined: Feb 8, 2008
    Posts: 3,651

    Deuced Up!

    A couple of years ago I was at a Parts America (they also did service work). Anyway I am standing in line waiting to pay for a few items when the cashier says to the guy in front of me his card was declined. It was a pretty large bill as he has several parts on the counter plus a service bill. The total was nearly a $1000. The counter person whispered under her breath that she was sorry. She continued by saying the credit card machine requested she keep the card but she slid it back to him anyway. He says don't worry about it and handed her another card. Same thing happens. The girl apologizes again. After short awkward silence he says will you take a check? The girl smiles and says sure! I about fell over. The guy starts writing the check and happens look over at me. Without missing a beat, I said you want to just pay for my stuff too? He didn't fine that very funny. The gal took the check and away he went.
    chiro, Truck64 and 54fierro like this.
  2. volvobrynk
    Joined: Jan 30, 2011
    Posts: 3,588

    from Denmark

    I went to order spar plugs for my car, and the guy asked for three three M's: model, make and motor. And I tell him: no can do, I want NGK BPR6ES.

    He goes totally silent, and goes he don't think they got them. And I go; you got to be kidding me, the was a very popular plug in the 90s and 00s.
    He goes totally dumb - stumbled. And asked for the 3 Ms again.
    I gave them to him.
    He goes to get my four spark plugs.

    Returns with the the plugs I want and them that was in the computer as the right one.

    Put the computer right ones on the desk, tells me the got the ones asked for, but he would prefer to give me the computer right ones, because: the other ones will not work.

    I pull a Burt Monroe on him, and tells him: I run them for 4 years, and I got them in right now! I only pull them when they are all used up, but I've heart that they got them on the other side of the street because I'm not paying for the wrong plugs!
  3. racer_dave
    Joined: Nov 16, 2012
    Posts: 205


    Stopped by the local O Reilly's the other day. A couple of the guys know me well and are used to chasing all kind of parts for me for racecars, hot rods etc... I get the new guy and explain what I want, giving the make, model etc for each of the 5-6 parts I want. He pulls the parts and as he rings me up, Mark the manager tosses me a free hat. The kid rings up the hat.

    Mark says- 'Dave doesn't pay for hats'
    New Kid- 'Why not?'
    Mark- 'look up his account'
    New kid looks up my info, there's a list of about 18-19 different cars in my account for all the oddball stuff I've bought over the years. He looks at me and says 'dude you've gotta have a huge f***ing garage'

    Mark and I laugh- kid never caught on that I don't actually have all of these cars...
    Montana1, loudbang and volvobrynk like this.
  4. Think about this thread every day. And every day something happens that makes my WTF meter peg.
    A co-"worker" told a customer that she HAD to buy two headlights, because the current draw from the new one would make the old one burn out. Or something like that, my brain froze trying to comprehend the utter stupidity.
    Another customer came in (after phoning), with a burnt electrical box from under the dash of his S-10. Asked Scott "what is this?" I don't know, what doesn't work now?? The truck won't start. OK, let's have a look. After a lot of searching, Googling, and such, Scott comes up with that it's a dome light dimmer control. Customer says that that's what he found on the internet, but, no, that can't be it. Now Scott is fed up, and the customer is looking dumber than a mesh box of rocks. He left, God knows for where...but he left...
    Had one last night. '05 Dodge pickup with an "update" from Dodge on the steering. Brought out the paper catalogue and he ID'd the steering. So I brought him the components he ID'd. Nope, that's not it. So, now (this transaction had gone for days, and two shops...), I tell him that I am confused, and, without seeing the truck, I really cannot know what parts he needs. I did suggest he go back to Dodge, as that seemed to be where the problem started (besides the meth and weed, I live in an area rife with drug abuse, more so than even the ghetto of Chicago).
    Now, as to the whys and wherefores of why you (the HAMB "you") cannot seem to get good service.
    A), You're not coming to my store.
    B), There really are few counterpersons willing to accept such low pay. You, yourself are not.
    C), And this is the One Reason: I deal with so many utter morons every day, people who I KNOW that I should call the local constabulary simply because they are holding a screwdriver (and are very, very dangerous that way), that when you come in, a living, breathing person who Knows what it's all about, it takes me awhile before I realise that you really DO know, and are not one of the few morons that has managed a good opener, before traveling down that road of no return, whereupon he spews some complete bullshite, thereby displaying his true idiocy. Yes, after so much stupid abuse, my brain cannot readily fathom that You (the HAMB you) knows what is about, and then bring you the intelligent parts knowledge that you crave.

    Yet, I'm willing to try. Hit me up, I'm the Tall, Bald and Incredibly Handsome one (pick any two...)

    Oh, yeah, one of us (HAMB us) has come in, breath of fresh air to know I won't lose another brain cell trying to decipher bullshite.

  5. BAM! :eek: There it is!
    cosmo and volvobrynk like this.
  6. Not a Parts Counter story but when I was attending Fresno State in about 1971 I got a parking ticket for my '36 Willys coupe street gasser and the cop wrote it up as a '57 Chevy.
    clem and volvobrynk like this.
  7. Gman0046
    Joined: Jul 24, 2005
    Posts: 5,989


    Willys36, reminds me of being stopped by a cop who wanted to look in my trunk. When he saw my tool box he asked why do you have "burglar tools''. I told him they are not burglar tools they are automotive tools. He then asked "why do you have an extra carburetor in the trunk?" I told him its not a carburetor its a fuel pump.
    volvobrynk likes this.
  8. Bubba1955
    Joined: Jul 8, 2013
    Posts: 463


    Years ago I worked on a parts counter. Had a guy gripe about the price of something. He said he could get it cheaper down the street. I asked him why he doesn't buy it there.He said because they were out of stock. I told him: Hell, when we're out of stock we give them away.
    Boneyard51, dan31, wraymen and 4 others like this.
  9. KRB52
    Joined: Jul 9, 2011
    Posts: 1,005

    from Conneticut

    Not exactly parts counter, but hardware store counter. Economy is down in my area, so the shelves are a little "thin" on stock. At least twice a day, someone comes in with the question "hey, you getting ready to close?" I usually tell them, "No, I just opened at 8 am." The ones with the "rumor" are going to get it, one of these days.
    (Customer: " I heard rumor you guys were going out of business."
    Pissed-off Me: "I heard rumor you were a child molester." See how many people that one pisses off.)
  10. Dustyrelics
    Joined: Nov 29, 2015
    Posts: 58


    "What are points" O'Riley's last week.
    volvobrynk likes this.
  11. Bad Eye Bill
    Joined: Sep 1, 2010
    Posts: 841

    Bad Eye Bill
    from NB Canada

    My favourite kind.[​IMG]
  12. Brentphx
    Joined: Aug 12, 2014
    Posts: 256


    Two weeks ago, I had to argue with the monkey at O'Reilly, I need 3/16 brake fitting, "we don't carry those". Umm, yes you do, where are your Dorman or HELP parts? We don't have those. Uggh, yes you do, where's the spinny rack of small metal things in plastic boxes? Oh that's over there
    Model T1 and volvobrynk like this.
  13. David Gersic
    Joined: Feb 15, 2015
    Posts: 2,114

    David Gersic
    from DeKalb, IL

    I actually need a couple of things you might have or be able to get, and I work about a mile north of your store (across from the hospital). I'll stop in and say hi.
    volvobrynk likes this.
  14. I hope the Dorman rack has a "Blouse Button Repair Kit". :rolleyes:
    Model T1 likes this.
  15. 57Custom300
    Joined: Aug 21, 2009
    Posts: 1,278

    from Arizona

    I hope it doesn't.
    Model T1, hipster, loudbang and 6 others like this.
  16. Mike51Merc
    Joined: Dec 5, 2008
    Posts: 3,822


    I may be wrong, but I think that isn't the way to save your dwindling customer base.
  17. Toner283
    Joined: Feb 13, 2008
    Posts: 1,324


    Yup. Those look like they are working just fine.
    seb fontana likes this.
  18. KRB52
    Joined: Jul 9, 2011
    Posts: 1,005

    from Conneticut

    True, but I've been hearing this type of stuff for roughly 15 years (the length of time I've worked there.) I'm bothered that it may become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I would also like to know who the one is that is starting and passing these "rumors."
  19. Mike51Merc
    Joined: Dec 5, 2008
    Posts: 3,822


    So your shelves are half empty and you're surprised people are talking about the store closing?
    clem likes this.
  20. 1946caddy
    Joined: Dec 18, 2013
    Posts: 1,616

    from washington

    When your ordering an item such as a air cleaner, ect. The counter person should have enough knowledge to fill in the blanks such as stick or automatic, two door or 4 door, without asking such a stupid question.
    volvobrynk likes this.
  21. 54fierro
    Joined: Jul 6, 2006
    Posts: 493

    from san diego

    ..or whether its 2wd or 4wd. lol

    unfortunately those days are behind us. Like a few other have already mentioned, i just look up the part myself before heading down to "the zone". :)

    ...and no i dont need any anti-seize or brake quiet thank you. :)
    1956 F100 likes this.
  22. woodhawg
    Joined: Apr 11, 2009
    Posts: 1,017

    1. S.F.C.C.

    Some of the stupid computer programs will not do a search until all the blanks are filled in. They just run computers for the most part, not build or work on cars. Most have clean hands, you never saw that in the old days at a parts store.
  23. 1946caddy
    Joined: Dec 18, 2013
    Posts: 1,616

    from washington

    I needed a fuel pump for my 1989 BMW 735IS and called all around town. Napa, Oreilly's, and a local independent parts place. and got prices from $365 to $450. The place that quoted me $450 said that he didn't know how I could of gotten such a low quote of $365 because that was lower than his cost to buy it and they all got their parts from the same warehouse. I ended up buying one online for $49 with free shipping included.
  24. 56sedandelivery
    Joined: Nov 21, 2006
    Posts: 6,133


    True story. I bought a new 70 340 Dart straight out of high school at 17, and paid cash. My girlfriend was a 4-H member/horse person, and had a thing for any and all things farm animal. I thought she was the one-that-got away; then about 3 years ago she leaves a message on my ClassMates.Com page. I looked her up after responding there, and find out she's been married and divorced FIVE times! Dodged a bullet there I guess, Anyway, she had me pick up a a fairly newborn kid (goat) to bring to her one day. On the way to deliver the goat I stopped for gas at a 76 Union Station. So here's this 70 340 Dart, Vitamin C Orange with a dual scoop and blacked out hood, lifted up, Cragar S/S with big and little tires, 16 inch Cherry Bombs and headers; I used to keep my cars operating room clean, and inside, and here's this goat! The attendant sees the goat, and asks me, "is that a goat"; I told him very nonchalantly, "No, it's a Dodge Dart, not a Pontiac GTO". He had the most confused look on his face, was totally lost, speechless, and I'm LMAO! Then I told him "yes, it was a baby goat, and I was delivering it to my girlfriend". Pretty funny...... And yes, the parts counter guys, and their computers; I just give them the information they ask for, and sometimes I add, cigarette lighter, radio, heater, cruise control, accessory lighting, floor mats, etc, etc, etc, and play the "I don't know a thing about cars" card. Last time at O'Reilly's, I went in for a universal, 3/8" in and out, galvanized metal, inline fuel filter; "we don't have those". I pointed out the Mr. Gasket chrome ones hanging on the display rack and said, "just like those, only galvanized". I guess I had the new guy because he got the "manager" (all of maybe 22 years old, so small even the smallest company shirt/pants are too big on him, and has this wispy haired "goatee", if it can be called that). The "manager" goes into the all things automotive knowledgeable position, and tells me all they carry is the "high performance, Mr. Gasket fuel filters". OK, so I went a block down the street to Auto Zone, got two off their rack, and took them back to O'Reilly's, just to show them they ARE available; "We don't carry the Dura-Last Brand". That kid just had to win at any cost (in his own mind). Oh well. I am Butch/56sedandelivery.
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2019
  25. dan c
    Joined: Jan 30, 2012
    Posts: 2,079

    dan c

    i'm from the same era--i was riding with a buddy when one of his mufflers fell off. he put it in his trunk. a minute or two later a cop pulled us over for noise, and my buddy told him what happened and that he was going home to fix it. the cop asked to see the muffler and put his hand on it and burned the hell out of himself. "i told you it just fell off," my friend said. it was all we could do to keep from laughing!
    ratrodrodder and clem like this.
  26. cfmvw
    Joined: Aug 24, 2015
    Posts: 325


    A few weeks ago I needed some DOT 5 brake fluid for my VW Bug, which I have been using ever since I built a fresh brake system for the car twenty-odd years ago...went to NAPA, grabbed a bottle, and went to the counter to pay for it. The clerk looks at me and asked, "Are you SURE this is what you want?" I told him yes, and he asked me what I was putting it in. When I told him it was for a 1960 VW, he almost scolded me. "This is only meant for high performance cars like Maserati's and Ferrari's," to which I replied, "It has Porche brakes - does that count?" Geez!
    ratrodrodder likes this.
    Joined: Jul 20, 2006
    Posts: 2,321


    I work in the heavy truck industry, and I am amazed at the people come in with no VIN and expect us to find them parts. One of their favorite sayings is "they are all the same" I would just love to go and bring them any part and tell them it will work.
  28. Yeah, well, some of the manufacturers of cars that Most people drive deem it quite fit to change such specification based seemingly solely on Sub-model (ES, CE, Si, etc.). So, while I bow to your obvious greater knowledge of all cars, I, simple parts counterperson, must ask such questions for accuracy in getting such parts as these.

    However, if you ask for an 18 pound rad cap for a 1957 Chevy, I know where to look for that, too. Same goes for a 4 pound cap. And I'm willing to go through boxes to get you a solenoid for your forklift.

  29. crazycory1
    Joined: Nov 16, 2005
    Posts: 82


    I hope they don't.

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