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Funniest lines from the parts counter

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by 59Apachegail, May 13, 2012.

  1. jtm_elcamino
    Joined: Feb 17, 2013
    Posts: 43

    from Uvalde Tx

    me: I need an timing set for a 92 camaro with a 305
    them:wheres the car?
    me: the motors in my truck
    them: well then you need one for the year of your truck! not for what motors in it!
    me: well gimme the timing set for the camaro anyway...
    them: I cant.. it wont fit your truck..
    me: walking out the door to autozone...
  2. blowby
    Joined: Dec 27, 2012
    Posts: 7,197

    from Nicasio Ca

    My friend works at the parts counter. Lady came in with a blown fuse in hand. Sold her box of fuses. Came back later, "These fuses are defective!"
  3. stevestude
    Joined: May 28, 2010
    Posts: 21

    from orangevale

    This at Napa, me: You got O rings for air conditioners? Counter Dude: What color? Me: Green Counter Dude: big sigh, I'll have to check the book. Me: out the door. Probably not the funniest but the most recent. So then I go to the chain store (o'reilys?) and the only way they sell a/c Orings is in an assortment pack of 20 for like 6 bucks. What a ripoff, but around here , we're running out of choices
  4. Westco48
    Joined: Oct 21, 2010
    Posts: 199


    me: i need a rotor for a Ford 302, as I place the broken dizzy rotor on the counter
    kid: front or rear
    me: I look over at the "manager" and ask he can help me...
  5. BIG-JIM
    Joined: Jun 13, 2009
    Posts: 1,376

    from CT

    Now that's some funny shit right there...:D
  6. flathead_10
    Joined: Jul 2, 2011
    Posts: 144

    from Kansas

    stevestude oreillys has a/c o-ring individidualy but all these part time dumb ass' that they are hiring on are to fucking lazy get you what you need.

    i went to that place today looking for a bearing buster and the kid asked me why i was trying to brake a bearing
  7. onetrickpony
    Joined: Sep 21, 2010
    Posts: 456

    from Texas

    I don't know what his big sigh was about but I do remember one brake part application that asked for the paint color code on the car. I asked the brake parts rep about it and he said the brakes were different depending on which plant the car was built in. Because of different EPA regs, a car built in one state had a different paint code because they couldn't use the same paint as in the other state. So instead of just asking which assembly plant built the car, which the owner would never know, it tied the brakes to the paint codes since they were different for the two states. ID the paint code and you knew which plant it was built in which told you which brake system it had.

    See, looking up parts is simple!
  8. BY FAR the BEST thing on this thread.
  9. a customer comes in a couple nights ago asking about the price of a front brake hose for his pickup. i tell him $32 and we have it in stock. he tells me that is too much because he is selling it and he will just use some hose connectors and some clamps and splice it back together. buys a quart bottle of brake fluid and leaves
  10. Me: You don't happen to have head gaskets for a '53 Mecury flathead do you?
    Them: What's a flathead?
  11. woodiewagon46
    Joined: Mar 14, 2013
    Posts: 1,759

    from New York

    I'm not making this up! I have a chevy powered 1946 ford woodie. Went into my local national chain parts house for a set of plugs. Asked the kid behind the counter for 8, AC Delco A44TS plugs. He asked "what engine are they for"? Told him 350 Chevy. He came back a minute later and asked "what year and make car" I told him 1946 Ford. He looked at me and said "Sir I don't know how to tell you this but according to my computer you have the wrong engine in your car".
  12. CrazyDog
    Joined: Jun 30, 2013
    Posts: 4

    from Colorado

    Me: I want to buy these universal plug wires.

    Parts girl: What car?

    66 Mustang

    Those won't fit your car
  13. When I was a kid I decided I needed to put turn signals on my 48 f-1 I went to my favorite local auto parts store . I went in and asked Kilby (the owner) for an universal turn signal switch. He asks me did I want a five wire or a seven wire switch. I didn't know anything so I asked him what was the difference. Grinning he looks at me and says two wires. I miss the days of local parts stores that actually had someone behind the counter that knew parts well enough they didn't look the part up just walked back and brought you what you needed.
  14. 62rebel
    Joined: Sep 1, 2008
    Posts: 2,804


    I get the customers the young guys won't deal with, and I let them handle the tuners. my most aggravating daily ordeal is finding out that too much of what we find we need is simply not available through the mass market anymore. sure, we can sell you fourteen different air fresheners and a spark plug gapper, but try to find a Delco vacuum advance unit for a Rambler 6 cyl from 1960 in our catalogs.... and forget using our in-house system; it's sometimes worse than useless. add to that the fact that we have no wireless internet, and internet access is blocked on the work computers, so if it's not in the paper catalog and not on the computer, it may as well not exist for us. I like selling parts; I like helping guys keep odd old cars on the road. but the truth of the deal is, there isn't enough profit in it for the major marketers to keep supplying vacuum advance units for old Delco distributors.
  15. johnybsic
    Joined: Oct 8, 2009
    Posts: 612

    from las vegas

    This is just a dandy example of our frustrations righ er boys.:rolleyes:

    I've done parts (Auto) for years years, and do aircraft parts as well.
    If you don't mind i must say a few things.

    1st...Dude, learn to cross refference parts & makes. It aint hard, Don't gimme that shit about "New vendor", You can't find it blah blah blah. Guess what YOU CAN find it, But its gonna take a little time out of your precious day...Your paid to do it, do it.

    2nd... We don't care about you bizzilon dollar commercial acounts...At all.

    3rd... how dare you discount the guy "bitching about a $9 valve cover gasket". Whats it to you what he's spending, or can spend, or what he needs to spend? If the guys in front of you, guess what? HE'S the most important guy around. Help the man!

    4th...Curb the attitide, im sure it shows in your work.

    Originally Posted by 62rebel [​IMG]
    "never assume that the part numbers YOU have pulled up from whatever source are what OUR store operating system uses... even IF they're something you bought from us a year ago. we change vendors sometimes several times a year (wonderful, right?) and part numbers CHANGE.
    as far as printing it out from a website, make sure that the store you're going to has it in stock, not has to be special ordered. it's been said a thousand times if it's been said ONCE; come INTO the store with an attitude, and it will get returned in kind.
    for every guy that bitches about a nine-dollar pair of valve cover gaskets, i have ten commercial customers buying twelve hundred dollars worth of brake job or suspension work. money talks and bullshit walks, and our counter guys have a quota to meet that rests on the commercial accounts FAR more than walk ins. if you can't stand talking to the parts guy, use the fucking internet".

    Last edited: Jul 3, 2013
  16. 57Custom300
    Joined: Aug 21, 2009
    Posts: 1,338

    from Arizona

    Good one! Had a kid at a Ford dealer call a XR4TI a ER-ZAH-TI
  17. 62rebel
    Joined: Sep 1, 2008
    Posts: 2,804


    yeah, that's funny. our commercial customers get some HAMB-worthy cars in and fucking cringe when they see what the owner(s) have done to them and then expect the shop to straighten it out for them since they are either a lot older than when they built the thing or don't know shit about what they bought. I can tell when they call and start the conversation with "Got a few minutes? Joe Schmoe brought in his '53 Fordillac and want's me to get it street-worthy. he can't tell me SHIT about what he used to build this thing."

    and that's where the fun starts. most of the time it's pretty straightforward and clear cut; just a swapped in engine and trans that we can readily identify for year, displacement, etc..

    then there's the junkyard specials. built with whatever the owner could lay his hands on and he didn't bother checking a god damn thing or keeping track of what it came from, because every Chevy smallblock is the same damn thing inside and out. he makes fourteen trips back and forth to his garage and exhausts every possibility before he figures out he's got a fucking Buick 350 and not a chevy at all. these guys think every Ford rear end is a nine-inch; can't measure a fucking brake drum or read a set of calipers.

    but, they get helped eventually. they get the part they need sooner or later, once we get past the ignorance and educate everybody concerned.

    and I thought bubbleheads were bad about bringing the right info to the counter.
  18. Fenders
    Joined: Sep 8, 2007
    Posts: 3,922


    That is worth remembering... when the counter person asks you a "stupid question," and he obviously doesn't know why he needs to know that.... remember that to find you the correct part on the computer, he might actually need to know it !!

    Maybe there are no stupid questions, just customers with an attitude.
  19. justabeater37
    Joined: Jan 1, 2009
    Posts: 1,319


    At the parts counter of the local Chevy dealer I happened to be at, I asked for 7/16 Chevy lug nuts. "What are they going on?" 32 Chevy truck. "We don't go back that far." 83 Chevy truck. Confused look, "I only show an S10 for that year." Looks on shelf, I don't think we ever keep those around. After 15 minutes I just left. Went to the parts store up the street, the guy leads me to the drawers and tells me "It will be easier for you to look for them than for me to find them in the computer." Done in 2 minutes.
  20. titus
    Joined: Dec 6, 2003
    Posts: 5,066


    I was in the parts bus for 10 years, 5 years at one spot, 5 at another, the first spot i started out as a delivery driver when i was 17, not soon after i started helping people on the counter, the biggest thing a counter man needs is patience and lets face it, thats lacking nowaday, i took the time to make sure the customer was happy and helped find what ever i could, i studied the catologs when we were busy so i new of lots of other odball stuff that was avaiable, i just simply cared. i always drove a muscle car or hot rod so customers new when i was there and they would come in only when i was there, needless to say after i left the parts store to go to another i had alot of customers follow me there, and now that i have started working at home i see alot of my old customers and they always say they are bummed im not in the part bus cause i always was able to help.

    You should hear the stories i have about customers! lol

    theres always two sides to every story, bad customers and bad counterman, and ive seen em both and worked with bad counterman too.

  21. Me, "I need a generator for a Triumph TR3." (really a Mini, but I thought a Mini would really through them off)
    Girl behind parts counter, "Is that a Ford?" I mail ordered it.
    And one of the best parts persons I ever dealt with was a girl, just not this one. Damn I miss her.
  22. bigroy
    Joined: Nov 25, 2009
    Posts: 160


  23. VTjunk
    Joined: Jul 5, 2013
    Posts: 286


    Having been on both sides of the counter, I can say there's more people out there that frustrate the parts guy than get frustrated by one. You just have to find the right place and stick with them. Our store is lucky in that everyone on the counter is at least in their 40s, has raced, worked as a mechanic, and has their own projects, so chances are you get to talk to somebody who knows what you're talking about, even if you dont.

    I have so many stories I couldn't possibly remember them all.
  24. creepjohnny
    Joined: Dec 1, 2007
    Posts: 877

    from Sunland,CA

    Me: I need some auto lite spark plugs.

    Kragen: what kind of car?

    Me: it doesn't matter but a 49 Plymouth

    Kragen: they didn't make plymouths back then

    Me: *sigh
  25. I get sick of you car guys doing this shit everyone knows, cudas didnt come out to 1967. what i was told when trying to buy rear drums for my 64 1/2 Auto Zone
  26. bulletproof1
    Joined: Feb 23, 2004
    Posts: 2,080

    from tulsa okla

    I need a 9'' ford diff gasket
    whats a 9'' ford?
    I say ok rear diff gasket for a 79 ford 1/2 ton
    is that a f250?
    no f150.
    I don't see a part # for that,
    give me the book
    what book? "asking around" do we have books?
    volvobrynk likes this.
  27. Fenders
    Joined: Sep 8, 2007
    Posts: 3,922


    Yah that's the smart thing to do but many hot rodders want to look smarter than the counter person and impress them with the various mixed parts in their car...
    so they end up outsmarting themselves.
  28. hellerlj
    Joined: Oct 12, 2005
    Posts: 1,039

    from Minnesota

    Nicely dressed middle aged woman comes into the store, having been sent by
    her husband, who is home, trying to get everything ready for the fishing opener
    the next day...She has a short list, and of course, when she asks me for the
    first item the whole store went quiet...."Do You have 2" Chrome Balls?"......
    She then asked..."Did I REALLY just ask that?"....and my reply was Yes You Did...
    volvobrynk likes this.
  29. jaymann
    Joined: Nov 29, 2010
    Posts: 54


    I had a good one recently.
    I was calling around to see who had a front parking brake cable in stock.
    One place argued that the front brakes used hoses...
    One place told me we ain't gonna have nothing like that but I'll look it up. I told him never mind
    Phoned another place that is supposed to get back to me. That was last week.

    Last place I called a woman answered, knew exactly what it was , how much and it was in stock. I drove down to get it and there's 2 guys and her working the counter. The guys are busy and she's on the phone. When she hangs up she says to the counter guy next to her "I don't understand these people that will wait on hold for you for 20 minutes before they'll talk to a girl"
    Then she asked if she could help me and I told her jokingly , "if that's the guy everyone wants to talk to I'll wait for him"
    She said "damn this vagina!"

    When I told her what part I was after she remembered the phone conversation, and had the part number written down and went and got it without any hassle at all.
    volvobrynk likes this.
  30. 62rebel
    Joined: Sep 1, 2008
    Posts: 2,804


    when I was in Virginia, it seemed like every farmer thought we were the local combination Massey-Ferguson/New Holland/John Deere/Deutz-Allis/you NAME it dealer.... call in and ask for everything from mower teeth to bale roller belts....

    move to the coast of South Carolina and it changes from tractors to BOATS..... everybody wants to own and operate a boat but doesn't want to go to West Marine.... and not a ONE of them ever greases a trailer hub. if I had a 100K boat on a trailer, I'd be greasing those hubs every time I moved the sonofabitch.

    could be worse. I hear there's more'n a dozen brands of snowmobiles.

    hell; it IS worse. motorhomes. Workhorse and Freightliner chassis.... yep. it's worse.
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2013

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