Funniest lines from the parts counter

You, my friend, can come into my parts store anytime. I will gladly break out the catalogs for a guy who has respect for the Saturday Morning DIY (DIFM, most times, but thats another topic) Dumbass Relay.

 

I'll end my night of reading half this thread with a tale of woe from my side of the counter:

customer: I need shoes for a cavalier.

employee: Year?

customer: It doesn't matter, they're all the same.

employee: No, really, they're not. Would you like the correct ones or not?

customer: They're all the friggin same, just get me the shoes!!!

employee: OK, 1987 it is. 16.00 for the set.

customer: ITS NOT THAT OLD!!! 2003!

Daily occurrence, but I admired the way the kid handled it.

Thanks for the laughs, maybe in the next few days I'll make it to the rest of the site and get some of my rides posted up.

 

I see that a lot when I am waiting in line... why the hell wont they just say the damn year? It's not a secret, it's not a mystery, but they wont say...

I'm having trouble from the other end of the spectrum, my work truck is a 94 Ford F350 that was custom built for Asplund Ford in Pennsylvania For Asplund as a weed sprayer truck and it has a whole lot of parts it's not supposed to be able to have for it's size and options, and that makes getting anything at all a huge pain in the butt for me and the poor parts guy.

 

LMAO!! Really good for an "employee"!!

 

body shop customers are the worst... a liftetime of huffing lacquer thinner and gluing body panels together with Bondo renders them nearly incapable of anything requiring a coherent thought process, like actually comparing the parts we send over to the parts on the car and not looking at the purty picture on the box and saying it's wrong... twice... without looking inside.
i feel like i'm teaching freaking kindergarten holdbacks when i talk to those guys.

 

In an instance like that, I would make certain that your preferred parts guy has some understanding of fleet applications or works in a parts retailer that has a well-equipped commercial program. There's also every possibility that alot of custom work was put into it, and things were fabricated. I have a customer with a 1-ton "Chevy" that was converted to a roving toolbox for his pest control business and almost nothing hasn't been modified to make up for the additional weight. Our first interaction wasn't particularly simple to resolve, either, but at least he understands that his Chevy is no longer a Chevy.

 

I could write a whole new list of these on a weekly basis...because just when you think you've heard it all, someone comes along and claims the title of Dumbest Customer Ever!

Examples?!

Lady customer on phone: "Do you have a transmission mount for a Contour?"

Me: "Is it a manual or automatic transmission?"

Lady: "I don't know...how can I tell?"

or...

Rocket Scientist from a shop down the street: "Can you send me some six-inch zip-ties?"

Me: "We only have four inch and eight inch...I'll send you some eight inch ones."

Rocket Scientist: "But that's too long...let me check with the guys in the shop..."

and...

Same Rocket Scientist: "I have a car with a very special transmission in it...it's a...T...H...3...5...0. Have you ever heard of that kind?"

 

At AutoZone;
" The computer says Cadillac never made a Fleetwood."
Cadillac Al

 

my current parts counter issue is with a special order that I had no take in. customer orders gas tank strap for a super duty, but claims its nowhere the same. Now, why did you agree to pay for it and take it home when it is NOT the same? looks like it actually needs to be one from an Econoline van chassis and not a super. if the make model year and chassis did not yield what he was looking for, why bitch when i change years and chassis on it
to try to find the different strap? people blow my mind.

 

There's part of the problem right there. Most of the guys on this forum know what they are looking for. If the parts guy/gal would at least listen first too find out if the customer knows what he is talking about, it would be of great help for both parties.

Were I learned my skills as a counter person, (granted years ago) you were courteous to a customer, no matter how rude they got. I found that I could calm down 99% of customers who were getting upset by the way I handled it. If I returned the rudeness, they got worse. If I acted calm, they would calm down. There is no reason to argue with a customer, period.

 

It's because they didn't. Fleetwood was a "sub-series", or an option. Usually attached to Cadillac Series 75, 90, Sixty Special, Eldorado, and so on...

In other words, you couldn't go into the dealership and order a Cadillac Fleetwood, but you COULD order a Cadillac Series 70 Eldorado Fleetwood Brougham.

It wasn't until the mid-80s sometime that the Fleetwood became its own series.

 

In reference to my O/T HURST/Olds ... "Where do you put the bodies ??? "

I have been on both sides of the counter, I used to love it when you asked what engine they had and answered always seemed to be " The Big One " !!!

 

I think the real problem is the vast majority of counter people at the McParts store are what hamez described. It's just a job, not any different than working at the corner phone store. The job is there just to make money while going to school. The jobs really don't pay enough to get the real knowledgeable people behind the counter. They're selling auto parts today and interning at a law office tomorrow.

I also put a lot of blame on our Wally World society. Everyone wants everything for the lowest price. 30 years ago there seemed to be a small independent auto parts store in every neighborhood with guys were were 30+ years old. They had jobs that supported them and their families but those guys cost money, more than the part time college student. There were also a few cheapie chain parts stores in the area, in the Milwaukee area there were half a dozen Whitlocks and everyone knew you got what you paid for. Now all of the independent stores are gone, pushed out by the McParts stores with their bigger buying power and lower cost work force.

I work in a completely different industry but I've seen the cheap price, low quality crap coming into this industry for the last 15 years with the internet playing a big role. I have a customer who insists upon buying the crappiest parts from a cut throat internet store. He tells me he does it because they're half the price of the local "Brick and mortar" suppliers. I argue with him all of the time about the extremely poor quality of their products, the limited selection and almost non-existent technical support but he insists on buying from them because of their prices. The reason their prices are so much cheaper is because they hire people just to enter orders either via the internet or over the phone. Very few know anything about their products, they're only part numbers they type into a computer. They don't care about the quality of their products because they sell enough that if they piss off a few people there will be others. I know this for a fact. I've called them a few times about poorly designed parts they sell and have talked to some one they said was a manager. He just told me that he realizes there's a problem but that's how the parts are made and most people buy buy them anyways.

 

A looooong time ago I worked for a summer at Pizza Hut. I didn't care what your favorite kind of cheese was, I didn't care what your favorite recipe using your favorite cheese was, nor could I tell you how to make cheese. If you asked for a pizza, I made a pizza... because it was my JOB to make you a pizza, and at the end of the week I was going to be able to fill up my gas tank if I continued to make pizzas. Why would the average guy/girl working at the local McParts store feel any different about the water pump you're looking for?

 

Not so much funny as sad.

Years ago when building up my 289 I found myself in need of a dipstick tube and dipstick.

I go to a large Ford dealer and ask for a dipstick tube and dipstick for a 289.

The parts Jock says; "Is that a Cleveland or a Windsor? "

I could see this was going to go well.

I then have to explain that there is no such thing as a 289 Cleveland.

I go away empty handed, although I did find a dipstick. A two legged one!

 

too funny!!!!:d

 

I think I need one... mine tends to leak.

 

Hmmmmm... My water pump would apparently require a smaller gasket.

 

I work at what once was western auto. Unfortunately, stupidity is Common on both sides

One quick one.

Customer: I don't know what type of oil is in my car and I need to add a quart.

Genius Coworker: Don't worry, Ma'am. I can tell what you are running by the smell of the oil. Let me check it for you.

 

That is so stupid, everyone knows you check it by taste.

But oil is dangerous, so make sure to wash it down with some delicious antifreeze!

 

Need a cap & rotor for a 318.
"What's a 318?"
The most common Mopar engine for about 20 years! Just type in 5.2


Need a PS belt for a 3.8 Buick
"What kind of car?"
83 Regal (nevermind it's in a 48 Plymouth, his little head would've popped off)...
"They didn't put 3.8s in Regals."


Geeez... I mean a young guy is a young guy but if you're on that side of the counter and they made a trillion of 'em at some point you oughta know.

 

I've seen where some of the software has been upgraded so that it tells you what the most common possibility is when the customer doesn't know, for instance a Chevy van like mine it comes up that most have a 5.7 -

 

Not really a line... but rather something funny my parts rep shared with me after he seen it and couldn't help but laugh..

In the computer system they have that shows current inventory it only allows for a small amount of characters to be used when naming a part or product when inputting it into the system. When looking up assembly lubricant it reads.. Ass.Lube

 

i'm getting better at interpreting geechee speak.... once you get past "brakes rotaries" and "cadillac converters" it gets complicated. brake pads are STILL referred to as "shoes". not talking about parking brake shoes, either.
and we don't carry a 50 dollar line of parts. every time we quote a price for a Lexus/Infiniti/Acura/whatever "luxury" car line some geechee has bought second hand, they ask "don't you have one for fitty dolla?"

"i can get one for thutty five at LKQ; why don't you sell me one for thutty five?"....

uhhm... there's is a salvage yard part, and ours is rebuilt and/or new and has a real carry-it-anywhere warranty?

 

I agree. My personnel, at least, are taught that listening is key to interaction: a sale starts by understanding what the customer wants.

The problem, however, is on both sides of the counter. Too many hot rodders, rat rodders, or whatever-umbrella-we-find-ourselves-unders walk into a store, only to find it staffed by teen and twenty-somethings, and are already approaching it with the mindset of "this hairless-chinned kid won't be able to help me, he's never heard of a kneuter valve. Where's the old guys?"

The problem on my side of the counter is "Great, another know-it-all customer who is going to give me a hard time since I don't know what a kneuter-valve-solenoid-harness from a 1950 ChevyMoparFord TruckThing is."

In my experience, approaching the transaction with an open mind and an ounce of patience with the child who has never seen a mechanical dooziwhat will pay dividends - for both sides of the counter. It is our job to help you to the best of our ability, but we are not miracle workers, mind readers, savants, or, in most cases - shade-tree mechanics.

My staff is not your punching bag. Ever. They are trained to bring me into the situation should a customer overstep his bounds - and make no mistake, there *are* boundaries. I have thick skin, and I can deal with it. Most times, I can get that angry grizzled fella to walk away with his part AND a smile, and hopefully in the process I can educate the FNG about how he could have handled it. Sometimes, the customer leaves with nothing more than a story to share on the internet about how bad the parts guys at XXX Auto are, because they couldn't assist him in finding a starter solenoid for his 1946 battleship, despite said battleship having been produced for 60+ years, and his assertions that he found them here before. I don't like anyone to walk away feeling like my store is useless, but I will not allow you to abuse my staff and act like *you* run my store. In any event, my staff is pretty good at their jobs, but they are, after all, human. Conflict is inevitable, and if the customer is rude from the outset, they will not receive the best customer service. This is a truism regardless of what parts store you visit. In fact, were you to waltz into Mom and Pop auto and treat them like garbage, they would be more apt to throw you out of their store than I would.

While I agree that arguing with a customer is never necessary, sometimes, setting them straight is. That is my job, however, not the job of Pimply Faced Newguy.

 

That is a core problem. It is not, sadly, one that I can change. My staff is woefully underpaid, even the really good ones - and I have a few really, REALLY good ones. I was awake until 5am this morning spending time outside of work with my staff. Every Wednesday night, I take the unprofessional step of fraternizing with my staff by meeting them at the local restaurant, since I close my store on said night. I buy them all dinner - out of my own pocket. For some of them, it's the best night of the week, and one they probably couldn't afford otherwise. (I don't buy them alcohol, FWIW.) After dinner, we went to my assistant's home and sat around the fire pit for the first time since I joined these guys. (I took this large store over just a couple months ago.) I spent alot of time listening to them talk.

They are all professional parts guys/gals. 80% of my staff holds a P2 ASE certification, half of those have several more. Two of us are Master Techs. One of them is a highly educated college brat who has been doing this since he was 16 because he *loves* doing it. My commercial director has worked for just about every parts retailer you could think of in the past 40 years. He is a wealth of knowledge, and he is disgustingly underpaid.

After spending all night with them, talking about work, where to improve, how to make our store better, do you know what I learned? My new staff isn't terribly different from my old staff. We all love doing our jobs professionally. It isn't often appreciated - even by me - how people put up with a mostly thankless job for such lousy pay. The nature of the job means that the average customer will look down upon them as just another nameless parts monkey, fit only to fetch parts. The truly good ones will stand out to the customer - maybe. Following such to its inevitable conclusion, my nameless parts monkeys see just another nameless customer...but the good customers stand out to us, too.

 

Since this thread has turned so serious, I’ll throw in my two cents. A big chunk of the problem is that many stores are no longer managed by people who care about cars. At one time, that was the owners, but now it’s hired folks. If more were like Hamez, great, but most are like the guy I experienced.

I’ve been in to cars my whole life. All through high school and college I tried like mad to get behind a parts counter, but nobody would hire me. Finally, after college, I got a job as a “management trainee” at a chain oil-change place (name omitted to protect the guilty). There were two of us who hired on around the same time - car guy, history major me; and an older guy with “management experience”. He ran Chuck E. Cheese children’s restaurants.

A business is a business, and in case you haven’t figured it out, oil-change places don’t make money on oil changes. They make it all the generally useless peripherals they can sell to non-car people. I quit after a little over a month. Mr. Chuck E. Cheese, who was a nice guy, but hadn’t ever so much as heard of a carburetor, was still hanging in there because he was too car-dumb to realize what a con job he was training for.

Since we all realize most chain auto store companies care more about marketing air fresheners, steering-wheel wraps, and add-on chrome than auto parts; guess who ends up running more stores - the Hamezes of the world or the Chuck E. Cheeses?

 

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I think that might be something to tell their head office, sounds awfully shady.

 

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