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Funniest lines from the parts counter

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by 59Apachegail, May 13, 2012.

  1. LN7 NUT
    Joined: Sep 9, 2010
    Posts: 2,164

    LN7 NUT

    I need a small block chev water pump for my fish pond... and some headers... also for my fish pond.
    Joined: Aug 1, 2009
    Posts: 491

    from 94577

    Picked up a screw in the tire 'D'oH!' so off to ORLY for a plug kit. The counter kid, all of 17 and 95lbs, remarked how he was unable to use this,

    After a few quick questions on my part I found out that he was missing a couple of critical steps.
    1. He was not using the rasp file, at all,to clean out and open the hole up enough to install the plug.
    2. He was not keeping any air pressure in the tire while attempting to install the plug.

    CK-"How do you keep air pressure in a tire with a leak?" :confused:
    Me-"With an air chuck.":)

    Is your fish pond Automatic or Manual?
    Does it have AC? :p
  3. LN7 NUT
    Joined: Sep 9, 2010
    Posts: 2,164

    LN7 NUT

    It sure is, but it's an OT pond installed in a vintage hole... for reliability.

    Your avatar makes me happy!

  4. AV88
    Joined: Feb 7, 2011
    Posts: 235


    Me - hi do you have a service manual for a 1974 Chevrolet ? , them - is that a ford ? ,Me - no its a Chevrolet , them - ummm , me - don't worry I'll never come here again
  5. dayid
    Joined: Sep 22, 2010
    Posts: 13

    from Central FL

    Odd, I've plugged a few tires in my time and never thought (nor been instructed) to try and keep air pressure whilst doing so. Never had a problem getting a plug to set either :cool: Will have to try to remember that for next time to see - presume it's easier?
  6. Bad Eye Bill
    Joined: Sep 1, 2010
    Posts: 841

    Bad Eye Bill
    from NB Canada

    Much easier, the tire kinda push's back like, well, you know. :D
  7. LN7 NUT
    Joined: Sep 9, 2010
    Posts: 2,164

    LN7 NUT


    Did you ask for a Chevrolet model or specifically "Chevrolet"?

    Because if it happened as you wrote it... that kinda scares me.
  8. Rotorranch
    Joined: Nov 22, 2010
    Posts: 18


    That sounds like the Car Quest I used to work for! ;)

    I haven't shopped there for several years, since the last of the real parts guys went to NAPA.

    Joined: Aug 1, 2009
    Posts: 491

    from 94577

    Depends on the tire. With a short sidewall and wide tread, the tread of a radial will flex inboard(fighting the radial bands), combined with the short sidewall you can easily bottom out into the rim before fully inserting either tool. Keeping the tire inflated acts as a backing to prevent the tire from flexing in.

    The steel bands of a radial is a big resistance.
  10. Cooder2
    Joined: Jun 3, 2012
    Posts: 49

    from up yours

    Me: I need a carburetor
    Droid: Sir, cars don't have carburetors anymore
  11. 59Apachegail
    Joined: Apr 30, 2011
    Posts: 1,241

    from New York

    NAPA opens up within walking Distance!!!

    Clerk: Hello Sir how can I help you
    Me: The grease gods answered my prayers!!!
    Clerk: after a long chuckle... Yeah I have been getting a lot of that since I opened a few weeks back.
  12. AV88
    Joined: Feb 7, 2011
    Posts: 235


    Just Chevrolet they never heard of one it was a 16 year old girl but still .. Come on you work in a parts store
  13. jazzbum
    Joined: Apr 5, 2005
    Posts: 598


    my parts guy daily-drives a '57 desoto firedome...just lucky, i guess.
  14. Skeezix
    Joined: Jan 10, 2007
    Posts: 846

    from SoCal

    Where are your pop rivets? Says I
    Wa? Says Pimples
    Rivets - Pop rivets - ya know aluminum, steel... Me say looks a bit like a nail.
    What do they do? What is it for? Says the Lad
    Uh... The sort of bond two things together - welst, like a staple. Please ask an old guy. Says me the gray head
    Well what are you using it for ? - pipes curious George.
    The stainless grill surround on my MG is riveted and I'm re installing it. I say with pride.
    Whats an MG?
    Little British car maker from years ago. it's a 1962
    Huh? Wow!
    lts like a Miata only Made in England. I speak educationally.

    Wait ... Dude... They make cars in England?

    Um.... Yeah

    Poverty leaves an impression

    Attached Files:

  15. LN7 NUT
    Joined: Sep 9, 2010
    Posts: 2,164

    LN7 NUT

    I'm bewildered she hadn't been asked about one before that point.
  16. davidbistolas
    Joined: May 21, 2010
    Posts: 962


    I wonder how many stories are embellished? Parts Counter Moron Stories are beginning to sound like urban legends to me... Like this one- a parts counter girl who's never heard of a chevrolet? Not possible, imho. Unless she has "Soap Opera Grade Amnesia" or something.

    Same with the water pump story - and fired in front of a customer to boot - I'm not calling anyone a liar, but I'm having a hard time believing all of these stories.

    Just sayin'
  17. Speaking to the CC about U-joints, I explained that a shop press does a neat and easy job,
    some numbnutz standing behind us spits out "you can jus hammer it".
  18. lanny haas
    Joined: Nov 1, 2008
    Posts: 560

    lanny haas
    from Phoenix AZ

    here's one, was buying a fuel pump for my 400 small block. and the "Kid" says, we only have the ones for a standard shift.....I said what???? he goes Ya we are out of the ones for an Automatic.....I go what the diference??? I dont know was the responce. I bought the standard transmission one and it working fine...Looked just like my old one...
  19. billsill45
    Joined: Jul 15, 2009
    Posts: 784

    from SoCal

    You mean to tell me that some people aren't truthful? I'm shocked, Sir, shocked !!
  20. HawgHead
    Joined: May 10, 2012
    Posts: 48


    I think the point most of the posters here are making is the death of the great American Male. Not only do kids grow up not learning how to do basic maintenance on a car, but they never learn to take care of anything themselves. How many of you know someone under the age of thirty that wouldn't hesitate to crawl under the sink and rip the disposal out, tear it down to parade rest, clean/unclog it, reassemble and reinstall? Young people, for the most part, think that when something doesn't work you either throw it away and by a new one or call someone in to fix it.

    Same goes with cars, and as a result those young people working behind the counter are just going through preprogramed motions and have no knowledge or interest in what they are doing. However there is a fix. I'm sure most all of the grey wolves here have a grandson/daughter, niece or nephew that their folks drag over to your house with them from time to time. Next time they do take them out and make them help you give your 327 sbc or 53 Ford flathead a tune up.

    They'll bitch and moan the whole time and get pissed when they bust their knuckles when the wrench slips, but make em go through the whole thing. Then when it's all done and they are standing there looking at you like your a complete a**hole for making then get their hands dirty, hand em the keys and and say "Ok fire 'er up." When that motor rumbles to life, I'll bet every one of em gives that gas pedal a couple of extra squeezes just to listen to the roar, and a smile the size of Montana will spread across their face and uncle John's will become on of their favorite hangouts. If not just shoot em now because they obviously have no soul.
  21. Gromit
    Joined: Oct 13, 2011
    Posts: 726


    CHeck the adress... I thought Chevs were all Holdens in Austrailia. There ya go.
  22. BuiltFerComfort
    Joined: Jan 24, 2007
    Posts: 1,620


    And on the Internet yet! I totally agree, shocking.
  23. prpmmp
    Joined: Dec 12, 2011
    Posts: 1,055


    WOW!!! BULLS-EYE!! Thanks Pete
  24. japar
    Joined: Jun 30, 2007
    Posts: 266

    from Seekonk Ma

    It wasn't a funny line but I went to the parts store for an air filter for my 94 Ford F350. The parts guy asks gas or diesel, I told him diesel he looks it up in the computer goes in the back and comes back out with the air filter. YEAH RIGHT not that easy Ford made 3 different diesels in 94 an IDI non turbo a IDI turbo and a Powerstroke all different filters. After I gave him the vin code for the engine he had to special order mine for a IDI Turbo. Kinda goes under getting the wronge part
  25. davidbistolas
    Joined: May 21, 2010
    Posts: 962


    May I suggest you check the grounds on your PC. You shouldn't have ANY electrical current pass through you when surfing the 'net.
  26. 71nova
    Joined: Nov 6, 2010
    Posts: 25


    Back in the sixties when I worked in a service station, I would get asked to go to the auto parts to pick up an order. They had a guy behind the counter who had a warped sense of humor. A customer would come up to the counter and ask for spark plugs for his car and with a straight face the counter guy would ask if the car had white walls or what color was the car and the customer would always answer not realizing he was being goofed on. Always left there laughing.
  27. hotrod0317
    Joined: Jan 8, 2011
    Posts: 75


    The phone rings and the guy asks me for a water pump gasket for a 1996 Toyota 4Runner, 2.7 liter engine.
    I find it in the computer, tell him the price and that I have to order it, and he asks me if I have a picture. Then I see this.
    He asks me to describe it. I giggle. Then he asks "what is the overall shape?"
    At that point I knew it was a joke, and I freaking lost it. I did all I could to maintain my composure in case this wasn't a joke, but I couldn't.
    It's affectionately now known as the penis gasket.
  28. Looks like a musical note turned face down.
  29. hamez
    Joined: Jul 11, 2012
    Posts: 7

    from New York

    As a matter of fact, we do. ;)

    I'll preface this by saying that I run a chain store. My store makes millions of dollars a year, and I am paid a princely salary to operate it. I will not say which one, or where, since I'm not allowed to by contractual agreement. I'm not a 50 year old, but I'm one of the rare (in my line of work) guys who was lucky enough to have a granddad who heavily exposed me to cars. I'm the guy who can rattle your obscure 50's gasket number off the top of my head. I'm the guy who can help you build your frankencar comprised of parts from 12 different vehicles. If I don't know, believe me, I'll find out. I pride myself on that - its a hobby, and I'm into it. I am a dying breed - an anomaly, in this century. Maybe I have one of those rare brains that retains this stuff, maybe I just spend too much time reading catalogs, maybe I've just been selling parts for too long(at 5 years, I should think not). I'm as knowledgeable in late models as I am in vehicles made before my FATHER was born. My customers are loyal and appreciate my knowledge and willingness to help them.

    One of the best ways I've found to unwind after a day of dealing with an underpaid staff of folks who have to endure some of the nonsense I've seen in this thread is to look for parts counter humor - to say nothing of dealing with Average Joe who can't seem to remember what he drives. I stumbled across this, and while it contains laughs from both sides of the counter, some of you are downright despicable.

    My average employee is 18-20 years old, and if he or she has ever even SEEN a carb, I'm in shock. Paper catalog? Good luck, bub.

    To wit, there tens of thousands of parts available for late model vehicles, to say nothing of those that came before. Do you honestly believe that Bob the Part Time Parts Guy has *any* knowledge of this stuff, off the top of his head? My employees are going to school to become lawyers, veterinarians, even a surgeon. They average about 9 dollars an hour, and I will tell you right now: they don't give a damn about your superior mechanical skill, your incredible jalopy, or your self-righteous attitude. For the most part, they want to help you, and they want you to get the right parts, because most of them have a modicum of pride in their jobs.

    If you walk into my store looking for a problem, I promise you, you will find one. Your hobby is not theirs, your world does not exist to them. You are the customer they use as an example of whats wrong with your generation and your hobby. You are quickly dismissed, and not a care is given as to whether or not you ever return, except perhaps by me and one or two others who are into this hobby. Note that I don't care one whit about your impact on my bottom line - this hobby accounts for a negligible percentage of my sales.

    That is not to say we don't have problems on our side of the counter. Like any retail establishment, some people just do not care. Its a job, a source of paltry income. Its not a passion, or a hobby. I pride myself on hiring a good staff, but even good staff can go bad when you deal with the general public and its blatant ignorance day in, day out.

    I don't say any of this to flame, or touch off a tired old argument I've gotten into dozens of times in the last several years. If even one of you can read this, think on it, realize what you're dealing with in a retail parts store, and approach your parts hunt from that perspective, I'll have done my fair share to help both my profession AND a hobby I love.
  30. 38zephyr
    Joined: Sep 3, 2006
    Posts: 622


    I was at North Hollywood auto parts a couple months back , the guy in line in front of me was buying wire and connectors and asked " You guys got any dikes ? "
    Crusty old counterman didn't miss a beat and said " Naw , but a couple fags just walked by "

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