Favorite one liners as told by gearheads

M OP A R

moslty old parts and rust

many odd parts assembled recklessly

many old parts attached randomly


F 0 R D

driver returned on foot (FORD BACKWARDS)

flip over read directions.


lead, follow or get outta the way!!!!!!!!


Later

 

One my father always said to me.

" If you're going to piss with the big dogs,
you gotta lift your leg"

 

Gasoline is for washing parts
Alcohol is for drinking
Nitro is for racing...

 

FORD...
Found On Road Dead
Fuk'n Old Rebuilt Dodge
Fix Or Repair Daily

"shes the only girl that doesn't get smaller in the mirror as I drive away." friend said to other friend about his sister....
From My Grandpa:

"That’s about as useful as a trap door on a canoe"

"I’m finer than frog hair split four ways"

"He was as mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees"

"You’re lyin’ like a no-legged dog"

"He’s so useless if he had a third hand he would need another pocket to put it in"

"If brains were leather, he wouldn’t have enough to saddle a junebug"

 

If I can't fix it, I'll fix it so NOBODY can!

I'll keep fixin' it 'til it can't be fixed any more.

Harder than reinforced woodpecker lips.

The trouble with havin' nothing to do is that it's hard to tell when you're finished.

Tighten it 'til it squeaks and then go a half turn more just to be sure.

GMC - Garage Man's Companion
GMC - God's mechanical curse

 

My dad used to tell his Chevy driving buddies "that thang won't pull a greasy strang out of a dead cat's arse" (gives a bad graphic image)

 

"Keep the shiny side up."

 

Faster faster faster until the thrill of acceleration overcomes the fear of death

 

"hold my beer and watch this"
"dumber than a box of lug nuts"
"its basicly stock"
"its gonna go 11's if I can get it to hook up"
"sure Ill run ya for 20 bucks a gear"
"welcome to detroit where the week are killed and eaten"

"not bad for a field car"... milner
"is that your mama's car?".... falfa

and my favorite I herd last summer at the dream cruise a gear heads answer to a tourist
"yea I know there are alot of cars here....but this is detroit .... and were on woodward"

 

"Ya can't make a cupcake out of a dog terd." RD

 

" want it bad, get it bad"

 

Huh. Well ain't that a shame. I even searched and came up with nothing. Oh well, looks to me people are having fun with it all the same. Also, almost everybody is missing the premise of this thread. I am mainly interested in quotes that are verifiable. That actually belong to a person. Not just your run of the mill sayings where the original sayer of the saying has been infinitely lost to the abyss of time.

 

Somewhat relavent if you own an old Plymouth. "My ancesters didn't come across on the Mayflower, but my girlfriend did".

 

As the philosopher Bishop once said. "Sex is like real estate, you should get a lot when you are young."

 

If bullshit was music you'd be a whole brass band.
If you were standing in shit to your chin and someone threw a rock at your head I suppose you'd duck...
And this from my grandpa. "Don't ever let anyone shit on you boy, just you open your mouth. "

 

ATT; "Vicky wid da Hemi"


THANK YOU !

THANK YOU !

THANK YOU
You can take the Breath Anilizeer OFF NOW, It Turned GREEN .


Smoke'

 

My apologies sir, I also missed the premise.
If you want ill remove the offer as I haven't heard from Ryan as of this evening via return pm.
Or, ill leave it stand, I think its interesting and beneficial.

One of my favorites from Jim Dunn in the movie "funny car summer"
His son asks:
"Dad, why did you redlight?"
Jim replied
"Because the light was too slow."

 

John Force

"I only go around corners if I'm on fire "

Don garlits - tv commercial I think

"I have gone faster, backwards - upside down and ON FIREthan most people have gone at all"

Tommy ivo
" I've driven upside down and backwards faster than most people have gone on the ground"

 

i used to run a 900 honda dirtdrag bike, i tried running it on alcohol one day up a long paved driveway with a couple friends, well going along wide open one of the fuel lines popped off and poured fuel all over the bike and my pant legs, then it caught on fire so i headed back to the guys and of couse we didn't bring any water or fire extinguisher so all i could think of was to say, throw dirt on me i'm on fire, well two days later they gave me a T-shirt with, "Throw dirt on me i'm on fire" air brushed across the front, i wore that shirt till it fell apart.

 

My younger daughter once said, when she was about ten while we were waiting for traffic to clear at an intersection..."gun it Dad, they got brakes..."
While riding in the backseat of a friends car with another guy while our friend was in the frontseat with his arm around his girlfriend the driver jerked the steering wheel and the other guy in the back seat says..."Ed, use both hands.....or do you need one for driving?"

 

I usually use this one when something is making an unidentifiable noise, or there is smoke emanating from somewhere, and whomever I'm working with has shut down the machine in questionable health without identifying the problem; "You can't break broken! You can only fix broken... and only sometimes."

And then there's "No good can possibly come of this. Get the camera."

 

Two that come to mind;

One by Don Garlits after he broke a supposedly unbreakable low ET for the quarter mile. A tv commentator asked him what the ultimate low time would be. Don paused for a few seconds and said; "Well, we can't get there before we leave"?

Craig Breedlove after his land speed car, Spirit of America, parachutes failed and he set a record for the longest skid mark before the car hit a pole, flew over a sand berm and landed in a pond. The chase vehicle was several miles behind him. When they got there, Craid had managed to get out and crawl to shore. He told his crew; "For my next trick I'm gonna light myself on fire."

 

From a guy I used to work with..."That boys luck is so bad that if he fell into a barrel of tits, he'd come up suckin' his thumb."

 

I didn't want my Mom to know I was drag racing for 20 years so I told her I was in prison."

[SIZE=-1]TC Lemons[/SIZE]

 

1st see signature

2nd from my grandfather referring to my challenger: ..."And don't go puttin any of that froggy shit on there."

3rd- me If brains were wire he couldn't short crcuit a firefly

 

should have clarified, the one in my signature is mine also

 

If brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose.

The only way he could be any dumber is if he had a bigger head.

I couldn't get lucky with a hand full of pardons in a women's prison.

The only thing she has left of her virginity is the box it came in.

 

Shes skint more roots than a wagon wheel.

 

Never complain...never explain.-Henry Ford II

 

Him: How did you make that thing run so fast??

Me: I took a sharp knife and cut most of the slow off of it....



RustyPile