Favorite one liners as told by gearheads

overheard at dragstrip by a mustang guy , Chevrolet makeing noise since 1911 ( and his car refused to make any in the starting line and had to be pushed off.. )

Pontiac = Pounding on nightly till it actually croaks.

and the oldy for the Olds guys , 442 = 4 new tires , 4 Sale , 2 slow .

You know this aint your dads Oldsmobile , yes I know its not he said it was too slow and bought a Caddy

 

Good enough for who it's for, better than what it's on, can't see it from the hiway, never have kids. My old bud Charlie, upon completing just about anything. One hell of a bodyman tho---almost forgot this one, "clumsy as a cub bear trying to fuck a football". I forget who said it first.

 

Shakin' like a dog shittin' peach seeds

 

"he looks like a monkey fucking a football!".......walking around the shop...."who's got the football?"......watching the smart people work.... "some people pay for a comedy act like this!.....I get it for free!"

 

If brains was gasoline he wouldn't have enough fuel to power a piss ants motorcycle half a lap inside a cheerio.

Posted using the Full Custom H.A.M.B. App!

 

I've gone so long with so little that I can make almost anything out of nothing-80 year old fabricator still doing his thing talking about the depression...old guys rule!

Posted using the Full Custom H.A.M.B. App!

 

A sign in our body shop, "Fast - Cheap - Perfect = Pick 2"

 

My dad pulled into the local golf course in his 430 HP Supercharged sleeper / all stock looking Mustang with the cam thumping and some guy walks up from his Camry and says " That sounds good - is it all stock? " Dads reply " Pretty much - Just a set of glass packs "

 

That your wife's car?

 

Drive it its not made of cotton candy

 

He is slower than smoke off cat shit .
Never felt better and had less . That's bigger than a minnows dick. Hell, even Ray Charles could have seen that.

 

Guy brings his car to the mechanic.
He pops the hood and they both listen to a tapping sound.
Guy - What does that sound like?
Mechanic - Sounds like about 800 bucks.

 

He's so slow he has to speed-up to stop....