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Favorite one liners as told by gearheads

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by Imperial Kustom, May 4, 2012.

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  1. RodneyAChance
    Joined: Apr 24, 2012
    Posts: 16

    RodneyAChance
    Member

    It was Jon Asher or Gray Baskerville that said "Tip the can and bump the mag and low E.T. is in the bag!"
     
  2. my dad has many, but the two that stick out right now are;

    "that things harder than a wedding dick" and;

    "there is never enough time to do it right, but, there's always enough time to do it over"
     
  3. BassGroove
    Joined: Apr 19, 2012
    Posts: 22

    BassGroove
    Member
    from Ohio

    FIAT

    Fix It Again Tony
     
  4. john worden
    Joined: Nov 14, 2007
    Posts: 1,711

    john worden
    Member
    from iowa

    .....doin 90 miles an hour down a dead end road. Hank Snow
     
  5. CodeMonkey
    Joined: Sep 13, 2012
    Posts: 92

    CodeMonkey
    Member
    from Moline IL

    From the owner of an independent repair shop in my home town to his only employee: "Wayne, we've just been f'cked by the fickle finger of fate...
     
  6. davidwilson
    Joined: Oct 8, 2008
    Posts: 595

    davidwilson
    Member
    from Tennessee

    "you didn't build that!"................................lol

    ""you're as pretty as a beer truck backing into the driveway""
     
  7. davidwilson
    Joined: Oct 8, 2008
    Posts: 595

    davidwilson
    Member
    from Tennessee

    mopar........mostly old parts and rust
     
  8. racer67x
    Joined: Oct 30, 2007
    Posts: 261

    racer67x
    Member

    My Old Pig Ain't Running
     
  9. Old Heap
    Joined: Oct 10, 2010
    Posts: 263

    Old Heap
    Member

    "Never Lie, There's Less To Remember" Indian Larry
     
  10. " You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning"-------Colin Casey!
     
  11. Primered48
    Joined: Aug 14, 2012
    Posts: 12

    Primered48
    Member

    "When you turn them upside down they all look like sisters" My Dad
     
  12. Lionheart
    Joined: May 8, 2003
    Posts: 719

    Lionheart
    Member

    When asked if he would like to test drive an Indy Car ?

    “Are you kiddin’ me?”
    “I wouldn’t get out of the electric chair to get in one of those things.”
    Rusty Wallace
     
  13. unkledaddy
    Joined: Jul 21, 2006
    Posts: 2,865

    unkledaddy
    Member

    "I wouldn't shit ya' boy................I wouldn't shit ya'!!
    Steve Smith
     
  14. Gene Boul
    Joined: Feb 9, 2006
    Posts: 805

    Gene Boul

    If you went to sleep and woke up thinking you could outrun me...you'd pickup a phone call me and apoligize! GB to RA! circa 1978
     
  15. BJR
    Joined: Mar 11, 2005
    Posts: 7,068

    BJR
    Member

    It'll stop on a dime, and give you nine cents change. From Nifty Nucome, a 1950's used car salesman.
     
  16. Tnomoldw
    Joined: Dec 5, 2012
    Posts: 1,563

    Tnomoldw
    Member

    Brave is the man who will fight with a sword or tackle ount Everest in snow,but the bravest of all ownes a 34 Ford and will try for 6000 in low....:eek:Bill aka Tnomoldw
     

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  17. Tooooo funny....long as twasn't me.....
     
  18. gary terhaar
    Joined: Jul 23, 2007
    Posts: 656

    gary terhaar
    Member
    from oakdale ny

    Here are a few
    There are two ways to skin a cat,from the Neak down or the asshole up....your choice.
    (That's mine)
    My buddy explaining his experience with a new customer I got. That guy is slicker than a cats pecker.
    (Don codey)
    When I get totally confused with a customers requests.
    Dude it's your world and I am just living in it.
    Stupid hurts.
    (Ray plante)
    My reply to a unrealalistic idea, Thats like giving a dead horse steroids.
    My friends dads reply to something we as kids thought was a good idea at the time.
    You kids could make a saint jerk off.
    (Mr.sweeney)
     
  19. groundpounder
    Joined: Jul 1, 2010
    Posts: 260

    groundpounder
    Member Emeritus

    As we work together all day long....I often have to remind the young bucks! "People actually pay to see comedy acts like this!.....We get it for Free!!!
     
  20. Helge71
    Joined: Nov 30, 2012
    Posts: 112

    Helge71
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    Some quotes from the German ex-rallye champion Walter Röhrl:

    "Acceleration is when the tears of emotion flow off horizontally to the ear."

    "You can't treat a car like a human being, a car needs love."

    "A car is only then sufficiently fast when you are afraid to unlock it in the morning."

    "If you see the tree you're crashing into you have understeer. If you only hear it you have oversteer."

    "Good drivers have the bugs on the side windows."

    I kind of like them and hope to have translated them in a readable way...

    Helge
     
  21. "You can't polish a turd"

    "Drive fast and slide the corners"
     
  22. grazy
    Joined: Jun 21, 2008
    Posts: 223

    grazy
    Member

    Words of wisdom from my old man:

    Son you need to respect you'r welders .

    We would have no use for him other than the fact he makes such a good bad example.

    It's tighter than frog pussy, and thats water tight.

    Be careful old man old bones break easy !
    Be careful son old fuses are short fuses !

    I can't believe you did that ! I can't believe you did that ! Yeah, I can believe you did that. (loud sigh)

    75% of all men admit they play with it . 25% of all men are liars.

    At 2 1/4 inches I would say that is plenty wide enough for any women.
     
  23. cartoon14
    Joined: Jan 21, 2013
    Posts: 46

    cartoon14
    Member

    " what'a ya got in that thing? (he asked)...Black & Decker D-51 " "B" movie line...a classic
    my pops used to always say "you can't break it if it's already broke"
     
  24. cartoon14
    Joined: Jan 21, 2013
    Posts: 46

    cartoon14
    Member

    "why do I need to check it if there's no oil in it?" my buddy's girl friend....yesterday
     
  25. cartoon14
    Joined: Jan 21, 2013
    Posts: 46

    cartoon14
    Member

    "there's never enough time to fix it right but there's plenty of time to fix it again" Don Juan
     
  26. From me Dad:
    "F__king Ford, wouldn't pull a clucking hen off her nest!"
     
  27. tikiwagon13
    Joined: Feb 23, 2011
    Posts: 373

    tikiwagon13
    Member

    Trailers are for boats
     
  28. Lytles Garage
    Joined: May 6, 2011
    Posts: 621

    Lytles Garage
    Member

    "That thing wouldn't pull a sick whore off a toilet seat" Chris
     
  29. LOW LID DUDE
    Joined: Aug 16, 2007
    Posts: 1,222

    LOW LID DUDE
    Member
    from Colorado

    Looks fast, Will it do 150 mph? Yea if ya drop it out of a bomber!
     
  30. If brains were birdshit, the bottom of his cage is always clean !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D
     
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