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Dumb Sh!* that almost killed us

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by deto, Nov 11, 2010.

  1. The Shocker
    Joined: Dec 30, 2004
    Posts: 3,538

    The Shocker

    Cuz some of us were born to do dumb shit ,like me :D .I had a BB in my left ear lobe for over a year from a BB gun fight that got outta hand when i was about 12 :).Also got a scar on the back of my head from being slung off a car hood and hitting the pavement when i was about 14-15 :eek::D.A high school kid was doing doughnuts in a parking lot and bet me $5 in front of a girl i was hot for i couldnt hang on to the hood while he was spinning in circles .I lost the bet :D.Almost casturated myself on a mechanical Bull when i was drunk once with my belt buckle on my 21 birth day .I was scared to look after i finally got out of the fetal position on the floor.I could go on and on :D...
  2. FoMoCoPower
    Joined: Feb 2, 2007
    Posts: 2,490


    Have too many stories to mention and I`m not even 30

    When I was 16 I had a `73 Nova 2dr that I let a friend in a brightly colored jump suit drive on a rainy day. He cut through an unpaved alley and started fish-tailing,hooked the RF bumper end on a fence post and swung the car around so that the driver side took out 3 fence posts along with a chain link 2:00 in the afternoon!!! He jumped out of the window,using my other friend`s face as leverage for his feet,and took off running. The car still running and me with no license yet...jumped behind the wheel and took off towards home,have no clue how we never got caught.

    Another time a friend and I were chasing eachother,I in my F150,and he in his Corolla hatchback. He turned down a grass alley,then pulled his E-brake and spun the car sideways between 2 fences,I slammed on my the wet grass....and slammed right into his passenger clue how there was no damage to his car.

    Lets see here....ran and hid from cops in same Nova,made numerous oxy acetylene bombs with garbage bags,blew up starting fluid cans with 1/4-sticks,hung the front of my 4x4 Ranger off of a cliff edge....and way,way,way,more.
  3. Friend helping his neighbor to start her motor home dumped gas down the carb. tried to start the engine got burned from waist to the top of his head.
    Three months in ICU
    Two years to get back to work.
  4. FoMoCoPower
    Joined: Feb 2, 2007
    Posts: 2,490


    Oh,I trusted the stock brake system on my `62 Cj5 to hold me on a steep muddy hillside as my buddy got out to get the winch hooked up to something. Brakes gave out and I went flying backwards down this big hill (was almost at the top),hit the bottom,narrowly missed 2 large trees,slammed into a smal tree and my buddy`s XJ (cherokee). Just a foot in either direction and it coulda been ALOT worse. Scared the crap outta my buddy as I wheeled it out of the trails in 4-low using the throttle to slow down,came around a turn,caught a rut and lifted the passengr side 3-feet off the ground...he jumped out and hopped in the We got back to the lot,blocked off the rear brakes,then went back and had more fun.

    Another time at the same place (The Cliffs in Marseilles,IL),I had my built-up XJ there. I found the steepest/tallest/muddiest hill there and proceeded to go up it. I made it 3/4 of the way up,then lost traction and started sliding backwards and to the right....towards a steep dropoff! OMG I love that tree i slammed my passenger door into. Destroyed the door,dented the roof,blew out the window,bent my roof carrier...and got Took me a long time to get someone to come along that could help. Apparently that was the muddiest it ever was there,and somehow I made it farther up that hill than anyone else could that day.
  5. FoMoCoPower
    Joined: Feb 2, 2007
    Posts: 2,490


    Oh oh oh,got another

    Another time we were out in the XJ`s,we had one friend who came down from Milwaukee with us in his. His gf was reading a book while he was driving. He got stuck in a deep rut,but somehow climbed himself outta it.....but stayed on the gas too long. As the LF tire climbed up out of the rut it caught the base of a tree....the Jeep climbed up the tree and flipped it on it`s side. We all thought the worst,his GF climbed out crying that she lost the page in her book!

    Another time in the same trails,another friend had a 4x4 Ranger. There was this deep ravine that only a few of us were able to master. It dropped down to a creek about 60-feet on both sides. If you couldn`t make it back up,you had to follow the creek out to an easier trail. He was determined to make it back up the other side. He got it in his head to floor it on the way down to gain speed. As he went down I told him I`d buy it off him if he wrecked it. Well he went flying down,hit the bottom,bounced up and slammed the front of the truck into the other side. The cab of the truck broke in half,he hit the steering wheel. The firewall shifted into the motor,and broke the distributor,and the LF coil spring popped out. He was a lil sore,but amazingly ok. Guess who ended up with his Ranger for
  6. lostforawhile
    Joined: Mar 23, 2008
    Posts: 4,160


    Chris Cagle wrote a song that sums up this entire thread lol, I can see myself doing the stupid stuff in the video and a lot more, and wonder how I'm even here, pardon the stupid short commercial they put in every youtube video now
  7. About 14 years old. Built a go cart with a friend. 2 by 4 wood construction with Briggs 2 horse and rope steering. Yep, no brakes!! To make a ong story short. State Fair traffic, oncoming car head on with his front wheel stopping between my legs 5 inches from my jewels. Broken leg and great story for the kids.
    I miss those days!!
  8. lostforawhile
    Joined: Mar 23, 2008
    Posts: 4,160


  9. I used to race Winged Sprint Cars !!! >>>>.
  10. t-rod
    Joined: Feb 7, 2009
    Posts: 423


    When I was 15 and working at a full service gas station in Vegas, a lady pulls into the station and says her air conditioning isn't working, could I check her radiator? Sure I can, and proceed to twist off the cap. I caught that scalding geyser on the right side of my face, burned my ear quite badly. I'm forever grateful I healed up just fine from that one.
  11. FC49
    Joined: Oct 11, 2009
    Posts: 324


    I found a good tip on one-man trans installation in a 1953 Austin-Healy shop manual. Make a trapeze loop out of some good rope and a 12-inch-length of broom handle. From inside, drop the loop thru the shifter hole, and from underneath, lift the back end of thr trans and support it with the rope loop. Then it's fairly easy to lift the trans and guide the input shaft into the bellhousing. I've used that a few times and it always worked.
  12. zmcmil2121
    Joined: Dec 13, 2009
    Posts: 625


    Funny thing, I know of guy who used to swear by 3m double sided tape. "Weld that," "No, let me go get some double sided tape," or "Rivet that," "No, I think I'll go and get some double sided tape." Well that all failed him when he took his off topic mustang to the local drag strip. You see, it had one of those air grabber hood scoops, you know, the ones that make you faster by just having it mounted to the car. Well of course he double sided that bad boy down and he went just a little too fast. The tape ripped apart and the scoop went straight into the windshield. He is still kinda surprised that it didn't go through and hit him. I don't know about that last part, that automotive glass is pretty strong... double sided tape, not so much. :rolleyes:

    Okay, so I finish typing, press finish, and then look at my knuckle. My knuckle is my best story, you see, in my super cheap fashion, I learn that the squeaking of my fan belt can be cured by a bar of soap. So I grab my soap upon ariving home, fire the engine up, and put my hand and the soap on the belt... nest to the (spinning so fast it's) invisable fan. Needless to say, I got off lucky, I just lost a little of my skin. I heard later from the guy that told me to use soap that you should hand crank the fan to get motion.
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2010
  13. Blue One
    Joined: Feb 6, 2010
    Posts: 11,102

    Blue One
    from Alberta

    This thread could be re-titled Dumb and Dumber :D

    Plenty of potential Darwin Award candidates here :p
  14. HotRod60F100
    Joined: Jul 13, 2004
    Posts: 1,197


    The year was 1996 I was 20 years old and I bought a bondo'd to death 78 Trans Am for 750$ with a mild 400 Poncho mill. I get it registered and wanted to show a buddy of mine how fast it was. Well mind you the front tires showed steel thus meaning the front sus. was shot. So we head down a long stretch of road and I get her to about 130 or so it said on the speedo and on the way back home as I coast to the first red lite from the long straight road we went on the right front tire bows out and I realized I snapped something in the front sus. and 5 minutes before if it went I would prob flipped the damn car 17 times NASCAR style prob killing me and my buddy instantly as we weren't wearing a seatbelt and the structural integrity of the car was severely compromised due to rust and rot.

  15. Thats funny, we had dart fights in the ready room when I was with S/F, yeah...... you have to be adult to be S/F!:rolleyes:

    We would do stupid things like swap out the oxygen bailout bottles when we were doing high altitude jumps. We would be on oxygen for the first 20 thousand feet of the jump, real funny when your No2 ran out!!:eek:

    Other things like when in free fall with someone you would pull their rip cord at 8 thousand feet on a 10 thou jump. With those sport riggs you wouldn't be able to feel your legs but the time you got to the ground.

    Or things like carving PE out of mines to use instead of heximine to heat your ration pack............ a ball bigger than 4mm across would melt the bottom of your cups canteen. Or having wars with the shitty ration pack tinned cheese, that shit could take a hit!

    Or that time on Canberra range when it was 8 below and we were on ammo picket, leaning against the TriCon container full of shit that is made to explode and kill people warming our hands over the fire we naked flame within 1000 yards the sign said.............:p

    Or throwing the RSM out of the assault boat when we were still 2km off the beach..................christ did we all suffer for that one.:eek: Ever ran 50km with full combat webbing and weapons? I have.

  16. Energy
    Joined: Jan 30, 2010
    Posts: 156


    I grew up on farms in northern ILL. we used to have corn cob fights with the corn still on them. Also buckeye fights with green buckeyes with the husks still on them (they are covered with hard spines that look amazingly like the thorns on roses) With either of those, you never heard "You missed me", the yelps and squeals were dead giveaways that you had got them. (plus the buckeyes would stick to you wherever they hit)


    (hey doc, we used to empty the powder out of AK rounds, refill them with C4, fill a magazine with them, and leave the mag alongside a trail. When they tried to shoot someone with those mags they would just blow in place!)
  17. mart3406
    Joined: May 31, 2009
    Posts: 3,055

    from Canada

    Back in the early '70's, I had a buddy (and
    a current HAMBER now too - who shall
    remain nameless - but you know who you
    are B.L.!
    - who built and and raced an
    NHRA "Super/Stock L" '65 Corvette convertible.
    Before it got built into a racer, the car was really
    nice and he didn't want to cut it up or alter the
    body so much that it couldn't easily be put back
    to original condition later. The problem was that
    NHRA mandated a roll bar for all convertibles
    being run in Super/Stock and the approved
    Lakewood 'bolt -in' Corvette roll bar that he
    had, necessitated cutting the sail panel behind
    the seats, so that the roll bar could mount far
    enough back in the chassis to line up with and
    bolt to the frame. Rather than cut the sail panel
    and ruin it,:)eek:) he mounted the bar about 4
    or 5 inches inches forward of where God and
    Lakewood had intended for it to go. so that
    it now just cleared the panel without having to
    cut it. But now, instead of bolting to the
    Corvette's frame, the bar missed the frame
    completely and merely bolted to the stock
    fiberglass floorpan!:eek: The tech inspectors
    never caught it and fortunately, he never
    actually "needed" to use the roll bar!:eek::eek::D

    Last edited: Nov 15, 2010
  18. deto
    Joined: Jun 26, 2010
    Posts: 2,620


    Roll bars? who needs 'em....
  19. lostforawhile
    Joined: Mar 23, 2008
    Posts: 4,160


    well i bought a large air storage tank from the pawnshop last week, didn't look at the bottom, 15 bucks, I'm glad i turned it over, the bottom of the tank had rusted out and it looked like someone had fixed it with a stick welder, also when you turned it on end, you could hear all the chunks of rust sliding inside of it, It was in the trunk all week, with no air, I'm glad I didn't try to fill it. They gave me my 15 bucks back and I told them they need to destroy it. That could have been a disaster
  20. medicinal_marinara
    Joined: Nov 24, 2009
    Posts: 139

    from Oregon

    I was messing with the wiring of my '55 Willys Jeep in my driveway, and accidentally got the starter to crank while it was in 4 low, 1st gear. It had a Buick 225 transplant. It fired right up with the ignition key off. Fortunately the air cleaner wasn't on it and I was able to hand choke it and stall it out before it took out the gas furnace in the back of my garage. It would have kept going through every house in the neighborhood if I hadn't have stopped it.
  21. peter schmidt
    Joined: Aug 26, 2007
    Posts: 660

    peter schmidt
    from maryland

    about 5 years back i was 18 and had a ugly ass 77 mustang 2 with a 302 and atomatic. i was driving with my brother to the next town when my fuel pump decided to quit. we were both flat broke and i needed to get my car home to fix it but couldent afford a tow so we popped open the hood walked to the gas station across the street and got enough gas to fill a mountain dew my brother slouched under the hood pouring gas down the carb as i drove with my head out the window to see around the open hood made it 3 miles to a friends place almost got hit twice so i decided i would take the inline filter before and after the pump off and replace them with rubber line. the old fuel pump put out just enough pressure to keep it idleing so i called it good and drove the other 4 miles to home around 5mph.
  22. pasadenahotrod
    Joined: Feb 13, 2007
    Posts: 11,776

    from Texas

    Similarly, I had a couple of live .50 Cal. machine gun shells in my stuff from the service. Several years after getting out I couldn't remember really why I had kept these shells so I removed the bullets and the powder from them and kept the bullets in my tool box.
    While I was at my father-in-laws house working on my wife's car he noticed the .50 caliber bullets in the box. He grabbed one of them and said he would make me a killer center punch with the steel slug from the armor piercing bullet I had. He stepped out in the drive with a pair of vise-grips clamped on the bullet and a ballpeen hammer. He knelt down, placed the bullet point up on the drive steadied by the vise-grips and took a swing at the nose of the shell with the hammer. On the second stroke a big bang and he got up, dropped the hammer in the grass, turned around still holding the vise-grips holding the bullet.
    This 6'2" ex-US Army (Korean War), had no eyebrows OR eyelashes, no external nasal hair, and no hair on top of the forearm holding the vise-grips and all was smoked black. He walked up to me, handed me the bullet, and walked into the the house through the garage muttering something about goddamn color codes changing or something.
    I still have the bullet with the exposed steel needle showing and the brass split around it. Never did make the master center punch he talked about and he never discussed the incident.
  23. 8flat
    Joined: Apr 2, 2006
    Posts: 1,381


    Went water skiing at midnight, drunk, with no lights on the boat. Oh but we had about 10 vehicles lined up on shore, shining their headlights across the lake for us. That didn't work so well.

    He got blinded in the high beams and ran that bitch right up on shore with me in tow right behind him at 35mph.....ouch....
  24. jeepfink
    Joined: Jan 3, 2008
    Posts: 146

    from So Cal

    Pretty sure I have a lot of these stories! None as good as the shell going off in the basement!
    When I was 16 I just added a new chrome exhaust tip to a friends VW,not very well, and it fell off in the street. Dumb-A that I am, jumped out to save the new part and grabbed that thing HOT!!!!!! HOT!!!!! left plenty of finger skin on that chrome!
  25. pdc
    Joined: Nov 25, 2008
    Posts: 346


    Never really learned how to roller skate. So 1 night with a friend and some girls I looked in the back of his jeep he had a some roller blades, got a bright idea. Told him let me put on the skates and he could pull me down the road. Got skates on, held onto the door and a way we went. Needless to say you know what happened, he thought it was funny to see how fast he could get before I bailed.
  26. jeepfink
    Joined: Jan 3, 2008
    Posts: 146

    from So Cal

    We were once installing a water heater blanket here at the house and found a bunch of Black Widow spiders in the water heater closet(Outside by the garage) So thinking he was super smart one of the guys says he knows how to take care of those spiders..grabs the starter fluid can and starts spraying ether at the top of the closet. This was a gas water heater with a pilot light!!!
    The droplets were already falling , I am running down the driveway away from the garage yelling "NOoooooo, stop!!!!!! " and then the BOOM-FLASH happened...and yep, he turned around ,walked slowly away from the closet eyebrows,nose hair,sideburns gone . He smelled like burnt squirrel roasting.
    Apparently he grew up in an all electric home!
  27. pdc
    Joined: Nov 25, 2008
    Posts: 346


    After school a friend and his girlfriend came out to house, to shoot this tater cannon. Half bag later the ignitor got gummed up. Sprayed some more juice in it nothing, this went on a few times. After letting it air out the ignitor started to work. Sprayed some juice in it and nothing opened the hatch, hit the switch and a blue flame engulfed my face. Turned around to look at them, my hair, eyebrows, everything was scorched. Still laugh about this one today.
  28. jeepfink
    Joined: Jan 3, 2008
    Posts: 146

    from So Cal

    OK, just to keep this current , about 3 weeks ago we were cleaning out closets and thought some old ,inherited black powder might not be aging well and that we should get rid of it...Wylie Coyote style.
    We go out in the yard and set up a stuffed toy as our victim lay out a trail of powder in a curly Q and light it off! Result =AWESOME flash-boom and LOTS and LOTS of black powder smoke. the neighbors started coming out on their porches 4 houses away looking confused .
    We hurried up and lit the BBQ as a cover story in case the fire dept. arrived.
    All we really wanted to do was the whole thing AGAIN!
    Fun can still be had daily, just like the earlier post (and Jackass ) say "If your gonna be dumb , you gotta be tough"
  29. Aman
    Joined: Dec 28, 2005
    Posts: 2,522

    from Texas

    So I'm a teenager and crusin at night with my dumbass brother in his VW and the throttle cable breaks. The two genuis we were, decided that one of us would sit on the rear bumper with the hood open and operate the throttle while the other drove the car home. Luckily I got to drive while he sat back there and did the throttle thing and I shifted and steered. Now, I know ya'll have seen this a hundred times and said "look at those idiots". We made it home somehow and the whole thing turned out pretty good...or at least without someone getting killed. Next!:D
  30. After and Before shot of the Sprint Car !!! >>>>.[​IMG]

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