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Dumb Sh!* that almost killed us

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by deto, Nov 11, 2010.

  1. bicycle + speedometer + large hill
    the spedo stopped at 50....so I do not really know how fast I was going
     
    chryslerfan55 and Duellym like this.
  2. I’m still this stupid!!
    Never mind what I’ve done as a kid , almost killed my self yesterday at work !!

    50,000 lbs silent hoist Forklift at a customers had to drive it around the building to get to a crane area to remove the mast.
    These trucks have 0 suspension or movement of any kind just a massive block of steel .

    Driving around the building and the parking lot is slightly graded as I’m turning a corner, both left side wheels lift off the ground ass ends starts sliding ..... I’m grabbing the steering wheel and making diamonds with my asshole as I’m just waiting for it to tip right over
    I tap the brakes and it slams back down on all 4 wheels and impacted the pavement in where the 2 left wheels came down and left about a 4” divot.!!!!

    Stopped, looked around, no one saw!!! SLOWLY drove the rest of the way keeping and eye on the grade etc.

    A wise man once told me “ observation will be the key to your success young man” still don’t follow what I know !!
     
    Cosmo49 likes this.
  3. Done this too at age 7, only got it up to 45 mph on multiple tries.
     
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  4. Atwater Mike
    Joined: May 31, 2002
    Posts: 11,625

    Atwater Mike
    Member

    Ha! This rang a bell..... "This was prompted by a post on a 3/8" socket swivel adapter used as a steering joint."
    A friend had bought a new water-cooled TiG welder, (Airco) and was practicing every day, soon he was 'stacking dimes'. His big thing was using thinner wall tube, lightweight rectangular, and tiny aircraft spec hardware. ("Super 'trick'!")
    He was doing some fabrication on a lightweight altered, a 'glass bodied Fiat with fabbed rectang frame, .063" wall...steering box was from a lightweight Simca. I asked about the 3/8" drive Thorsen 'U' joints (2!) in the long steering shaft.
    "There's no torque on that rod in a straight quarter mile shot," he asserted.
    "Maybe not," I answered, "But a sound engineering move would have been to go 1/2" drive Snap On..." I was kidding, obviously? Not to him.
    My concern was moot. The tech committee went over it with a magnifying glass after seeing the "No Torque Joints"...condemned the thickness of radius rods, steering (!) and drilled the roll bar. (.087")
    Oh, first thing that 'tipped them off' was the car's weight. In the 'duh' neighborhood.
     
  5. Dixon Bastie
    Joined: Apr 7, 2017
    Posts: 175

    Dixon Bastie

     
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  6. Dixon Bastie
    Joined: Apr 7, 2017
    Posts: 175

    Dixon Bastie

    Oh, so you guys think you have the dumbass thing sewn up? Not so fast.
    I good friend of mine was building a killer 55 Chev pickup. The homebuilt chassis was a work of his usually over the top craftsmanship and design talent. Parked in the front of the chassis was a stupidly high horse 454, with a blower, nitrous, etc. He shyly told me it dyno'd at about 850 horses, and it lookedtoo fast just sitting in the chassis. On top of this chassis and monster cooker was a nice bare metal cab, no doors, hood, glass, or seats. What was left of the original box was vice-gripped to the chassis so he could figure out how fit rear fenders over the meats in the back. Oh, and by the way, most of the firewall had been removed to clear the motor setback, and likewise 99% of the original floor.
    So ... after two slugs of Jack Daniels, he says, "We really should take it for a quick ride to test the rack and pinion and how it "handled". I laughed until I realized he was dead serious. I then mentioned there was no gas pedal, or for that matter, a brake pedal, either. He said, he would work the fast pedal with a rod he had fabbed just for this occasion, and didn't need brakes because ge could drop the beefed TH400 into low to slow "us" down. I knew I needed way more "JD" right then and there.
    He made some comment about wondering if I was wearing my pink silk panties, so I said, "OK Mark, fire the bow tie bitch up, and let's go.
    Out of his shop we crept (open headers of course), and each of us sitting on milk crates set on angle iron laying across the frame rails.
    For about a mile, we idled as he worked the hand throttle with one hand, and twisted the steering wheel with the other. I was good to go - yeah, not quite.
    I noticed him reaching for the nitrous switch with one hand and getting a real good grip on the hand throttle with the other. Before I could scream, shit my pants, or bail out, that deathtrap would up, hooked up, and we took off so hard my eyeballs compressed into the back of my head. Have no idea how far we traveled, but when I sensed we were actually slowing down and hadn't hit anything, I decided it would be a good idea to start breathing again. When we rolled to a stop. he looked at me and said, "Shit, I need to get more out of this motor." I replied, "Yeah, and maybe doors, a floor, and actual pedals might be good things for you to spend your time on."
    We idled back through our neighborhood and back to his shop. It tookme about ten minutes to pry my ass cheeks off the milk box, and decided going home and locking myself in my basement sounded like a good idea.
    As I left, he said he'd have doors and pedals in it "next time", and I said, "Don't call me, I'll call you."
    He finished the truck into a show stopping pavement melter, but I'll never forget the maiden voyage.
    At least we didn't hit an iceberg.
     
  7. Duellym
    Joined: Feb 28, 2016
    Posts: 315

    Duellym
    Member

    I have an old school lawn tractor with no mower deck on it, so me and my buddies use it to do stupid shit out in the woods, the throttle cable had broke on it and i had it adjusted to where it would run smooth (higher than usual) i weigh 120 lbs and am not having luck with getting it to pull wheelies so what do i do? Have my 275ish lb friend stand on the trailer hitch while im sitting on it, dump the clutch in 3rd gear.

    It did a wheelie alright. Slid right off the seat but didnt let go of the wheel so I'm running behind it trying to push it back on the gound, it pulled a full 90° i think thats the most glorious thing I've done so far.

    Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using The H.A.M.B. mobile app
     
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  8. coilover
    Joined: Apr 19, 2007
    Posts: 696

    coilover
    Member
    from Texas

    Grew up in a flat area in Iowa but liked to ski so would tie a rope to a buddies rear bumper and ski the ditches where every drive provided a ski jump. Was behind my Buddies 48 Chrysler that had several others inside that were enjoying a few beverages. The system was to tap the brakes so light could give a warning when a mailbox or other type pole was coming up and I could ski up onto the shoulder to miss them. Communications failed and I was yanked out of my boots when car went on one side of pole and skier on the other.
     
  9. lonejacklarry
    Joined: Sep 11, 2013
    Posts: 1,498

    lonejacklarry
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    I just read through the whole thread and laughed at people's lack of common sense. I will not post any of my own adventures so no one can make fun of my lack of common sense.

    However, I must point out that while I have heard a lot of stories about cars, boats, motorcycles, helicopters, etc., I have never heard "cranberry bogs" in but one story--the one above. It must be a regional thing--we're short of cranberry bogs here in the midwest.
     
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  10. 56sedandelivery
    Joined: Nov 21, 2006
    Posts: 6,695

    56sedandelivery
    Member Emeritus

    OK, nobody killed, but definitely dumb sh*t !!! Summer of 1970, my best friend and I decide to take our cars out to Seattle International Raceway, for the Wednesday Night Grudge Drags. I have my brand new 70 340 Dart, my friend Dean, has his hand-me-down 66 Chevelle Malibu. My younger brother Alan has never been to the drags, and wants to come along; he's only about 13 years old. I was 17, had just graduated high school, bought my Dart and paid cash for it; I'd worked all through high school at the local Standard Chevron Station. We had been making passes, and as fast as we could, get back into the staging lanes; I had just pulled back into staging after a run. Dean had also just made a run after me, and I was waiting for him to return. Meanwhile, I'm looking around for my younger brother, and can't find him anywhere. Dean pulls back into staging, and I ask him if he's seen my brother. He walks to the back of the Chevelle, opens the trunk, and out pops my brother. What the F-N/ H*LL??? Dean had, "put him in the trunk for weight, to get traction"; 1966 Chevelle Malibu, 283 2 barrel, Powerglide transmission; car could't spin the tires in the dirt! I've told this story dozens of times, and at least twice here on the HAMB..........The only time my brother has been down a drag strip, was in the trunk of a car. How Dean managed to pull that off without being seen, I don't know, but it's the absolute truth. I am Butch/56sedandelivery.
     
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  11. Some years ago my father was helping a friend put together a ‘32 Plymouth coupe. The car was powered by a very potent 392 Hemi ( think purple cam folks) . Now, one night my friend tells my dad he wants to go for a test drive, dear old dad says “okay “ and off they went. After a while they came to a long straight road and my friend tells pops to hit the loud pedal, well before you could say Ronnie Sox, the took off like a rocket and my friend wound up ass over tea kettle ‘cause the newly installed seats weren’t bolted to the floor. Oh, did I mention he called my dad every filthy name in the book? Even called him crazy. To this day he and I still laugh about that.


    Sent from my iPhone using The H.A.M.B. mobile app
     
  12. Gasoline Junkie
    Joined: Nov 20, 2010
    Posts: 337

    Gasoline Junkie
    Member

    Back in highschool ('08-ish) my buddy had a Petty blue '65 Dodge Coronet sedan, 2bbl poly 318 auto that we thought was just the baddest bitch ever. We used to rip one wheel peelers all over making all kind of noise with it's single Autozone glasspack like a couple of Dominic Toretto wannabees. So, one day we're coming off the expressway on a famously uneven offramp and I decide to reach my left leg over and floor the throttle towards the hill. We get to the exit approaching 90 and get airborne, with nothing but sky out the windhshield. As we start to nosedive, hands on the roof trying to stay in our seats (no seatbelts), we find ourselves coming dangerously close to landing on top of an unsuspecting motorist. We land, hard, frame on the pavement just missing the focus and avoiding spinal injury. This was just the beginning of our crazy antics, which would eventually lead to the car being totaled. That lead him to the purchase of a 2dr. hardtop of the same year that ran with that poly for years until the recent swap to a 400 big block and 4 speed. IMAG0369.jpg

    This picture was taken the day we pulled the motor I believe
     
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  13. elba
    Joined: Feb 9, 2013
    Posts: 628

    elba
    Member

    My Father had a SHELL service station in Kent Ohio ( about 1964 ) when I was 14 years old and I worked there on weekends and during the summer . One of the customers was a guy about 30 years old and he had a Model a coupe hot rod which he had a small custom gas tank and the battery in the little trunk. The tank was on the left and the battery was on the right . He told me to filler up with Super Shell which I did . I tilted the nozzle so I wouldn't spill gasoline and the pump handle touched the positive side of the battery . Now I had flames coming out of my nozzle and flames coming out of the tanks filler neck . I dropped the nozzle and hauled ass ! The owner kept his cool and stuffed paper towels in the filler neck and fire went out and the nozzle laying on the ground burned it self out . Lucky for me I had filled his tank to the top ! I'll never forget it !!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  14. Olboy
    Joined: Nov 29, 2017
    Posts: 10

    Olboy

     
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  15. SLCK64
    Joined: Oct 4, 2009
    Posts: 493

    SLCK64
    Member

    Was this thread started with Shawn from Street Outlaws using a swivel socket for a steering joint on what ended up to be known as “Deathtrap” which is now owned and piloted by Chuck?


    Sent from my iPhone using The H.A.M.B. mobile app
     
    chryslerfan55 likes this.

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