I just spit my dring all over the screen when I read the "Hole Shot". The imagination took over from there. Beautiful!
years ago in Outback Australia, me and a good mate were dumping rubbish at the local dump.The place was crawling with young Aboriginees picking through the shit. A few fires were burning and my mate noticed a kids antique trike amongst the crap. He grabbed it and threw it in the back of the van. Next thing we know,a bunch of these ferals start yelling we had stolen their new bike... As I'm driving away from the edge of the tip about 4 of these dickheads are hanging onto the back of the van. Fuck this,I think one of these dopey cnuts could get hurt,so I threw it into reverse and backed into a fire....that cleared my back bumper real fast.
same thing happened to my buddy in Austin at the LSR. a dude hopped on the back of his Harley at a gas station, he ripped the throttle and dropped clutch and he said the dudes feet went wizzing by his head as he was making his inverted dismount.
My friend Tony is a complete nut. At the time he drove a mid 80s 4X4 Suburban with some big mudders. It had a big block Chevy with a hot cam and 3" exhaust. It was alot of fun. His favorite story was about driving in Chinatown in Chicago early one morning and stopped at a red light. Some homeless guy wheeled up in a wheel chair and asked for money. Tony declined. "give me some change!" "no." homeless guy grabs ahold of the side view mirror with a death grip... "I aint lettin go until you give me some money." "ok..." Tony said the homeless guy made it halfway across the intersection before he let go and went spinning into the street...
I grew up in South Dakota, and small town rivalries were par for the course, as was endless cruising. Saturday nights consisted of countless passes through main street, with an occasional foray to one of the nearby towns to stir up crap. There was one group of thugs that were consistently terrorizing our little town, no real damage but lots of street brawls and so forth. A buddy and I had just gotten back into town after hunting jackrabbits (used to be big wintertime fun, spotlighting rabbits at night, at their peak you could get $1.25 per carcass from the local furrier) when these creeps wheeled in. As we were rolling through main street in my buddy's 65 Ford pickup one of these dudes jumped into the back. My quick thinking buddy immediately punched it and blew through town and out onto the highway. Remember, middle of winter in South Dakota. It was COLD! This creep was dressed in tough-guy attire, I think it was a Black Sabbath T-shirt and jeans, with the obligatory three-row chromed Sportster primary chain belt. This dude turned from white to red to a really nasty shade of purple, and the frozen stringer of snot from his nose made him look extra-special. Before we were done with his free ride he was curled up in the fetal position behind the cab, shivering like a dog pooping peach pits. We finally let him crawl out of the back of the pickup in another small town about 13 miles from where we started. Never had a problem with that particular dude again.
Ebbsspeed, I can relate to that! Up here it's long, cold winters (at least it used to be - seems to be milder the last decade or so) and I grew up in a rural area outside the provincial capital city, we were always mixing it up with the "city kids" and you didn't dare piss around outside without your winter woolies and parka - the "cool" kids just didn't get it! Steve
wow - yeah, I believe that would be "invasion of privacy" or "trespassing on personal property" once somebody enters your personal space without being invited... thats my story and I'm stickin to it. Of course, here... everybody has a shotgun or deer rifle strapped & locked in the window rack and a few Blue Heelers in the bed as a car alarm... crackheads be pulling back a bloody stump. (man, I love small towns)
I was not sure what I was going to expect by the title of this thread! LOL!! That's hilarious!! Thanks for the morning laugh!!
I had an almost identical thing happen to me in Winnipeg Manitoba back in 1985. I rode a '73 Yamaha XS650 twin, and a group of us on bikes were stopped at a red light on the corner of Main and Higgins. Real nice part of town , lots of drunks in that area. Anyway, I was the only one without a passenger and just before the light changed some very drunk native woman hopped on the back of my bike and yells out "hey buddy, take me for a ride eh!". The light turned green, I wound up the engine and dumped the clutch. All I saw were two sneaker-clad feet whizz past my head as she went off the back of the bike onto the pavement. A few blocks later we all had to pull over as we were laughing too hard to ride!
Years ago, a buddy of mine had an old beater '71 Chevy pickup. We went out cruising one night with no particular destination and got a bit lost in our own city. We ended up in a pretty rough part of town. Here we are, two white guys in a primered Chevy truck, stuck in "Gang Land". (This was in Kansas City, not Austin) Sure enough, we stopped at a red light and a bunch of thugs in giant red T-shirts and size 9XL shorts started walking toward the truck, reaching into their waistbands. My friend didn't wait around to see if they really had guns. (I'm betting they did). He had taught his truck a cute little trick. He revved it up a bit, let off the throttle, turned off the key and then turned it back on. The sucker backfired like a howitzer! About six guys in red all ruined their new shirts by dropping flat on the street and/or jumping over parked cars. They thought they were under attack. Brian does a monster donut right in the intersection, scattering the guys that had dropped down on their faces. We blasted out of there like our asses were on fire. We were yelling and laughing like a couple of maniacs from the adrenalin for about three miles. The next day, I went over to his house. As I walked up the driveway, I saw two bullet holes in the side of the bed, behind the left rear tire. I'm not sure why, but we never went back to apologize to the nice gentlemen.
If the moron jumps in the bed of a pickup, he deserves to get thrown out. Or if you live in Texas you can just leave him with a smoking hole in the head. My dad told me about a guy who pulled a knife on him & demanded his wallet in Chicago years ago. Stupid thing was he had pulled over because he thought he blew a tire on his truck. He had his tire checker with him. Knife boy lost that round.
I don't think people have any respect for anybody elses stuff. At Good-Guys a couple years ago, some guy is talking and just kind of pops down on the hood of my brothers 65 Bel Air. Needless to say my brother and I flipped and asked him what the fuck he was doing. He just looked at us and walked away.
Soon as I read Taco Bell I knew it was gonna' get sketchy. I've nearly been in several altercations over the years at our local one. At least twice it was folks beggin' for money...WTF...i'ts Taco Bell, home of the "make a turd for under a buck" menu. Lots of big spenders there huh? Once I had to leave my hard earned spot in the drive-thru line 'cause some gangstas in training decided to throw rocks at my '69 chevy truck. Chased the fools through a field to the side of the parking lot, steering wheel in one hand, ball bat out the window in the other...damn that Taco Bell.
The post about the dogs got me to thinking.Years ago i had a HUGE rotty that loved to ride in the bed of my truck(76 chevy 1ton 4X4 with 40's)I parked it outside of the local pool hall and my dog curled up against the cab.I come back out a couple of hours later and there is my dog mad as hell in the back with blood on his face and all over the side of the truck.Never did know what really happened but i assume somebody was after the 2 chainsaws in the bed
It's just a plain funny story. Dumb-ass hophead gets lumped up. It has everything--beauty, justice, and as long as you got your food, a happy ending. Well, not a Happy Ending, y'know, but a happy ending. Who cares what a cop would believe, or what a judge would say. There's none around, as it should be. Add that idiot's head to things that go bump in the night.
Man its getting bad all over the place, You did good ,except I would have called the law dogs on him after all was said and done! May be your Mom OR sister the next time ... MFers are getting brave..... And if we done stand our ground they will just keep on and on.... I see it all the time and John Q public always stand on the poor old druggies side... Don't get me started ! ! !
The Jalopy Journal
