so my neighbor (who was a good friend, and fellow car guy) died recently, and left behind a 70 gmc and 2 packards. he had a bunch of parts for 67-72 chevy trucks, i'd like to help by clearing out some of his parts, and putting some money in the family's pockets, but i dont want to come off as a douchebag trying to score parts at a sad time in the family. i'd rather have him alive and using the parts for his own truck. have any of you dealt with something like this before?
Offer the family your assistance to help "go through" sell or even buy some of the things that he had. Just be soft and let them know you are there for them when they are ready to deal with it. Tell them it would be a privelege to help them since the both of you are car guys and you know how much it all meant to him. Some families would look at it as they don't want to get rid of it because it's him......Others might want to get it cleaned up and to a good home because they don't want it around to keep reminding them of him and making them sad.
I have. Wait a few days, because if any douchebags do come into play, that will be when they do. After a respectful period (but less than a week), just approach the family and be very honest. Tell them that you don't know if your friend had any plans for the stuff after he passed (i.e. who he wanted to get it), but if not, you'd like to purchase some of it at a fair price. Most likely, they'll be glad for it; when a car guy passes, he leaves a lot of stuff behind, and the family is left to figure out what the hell to do with all of it. You're probably solving a problem for them.
What I have done is waited a while after the funeral, then snail mail a letter to the family offering your help. This way, its gives the party time to think about it and there's no confrontation if they don't want to sell the stuff right away. Had a few folks put the letter away and then pull it out and call me after a while had gone by. You just need to hope that nobody beat you to it, and in my opinion, you can't get it all and what ever happens, happens. Like one of the guys said, they might be happy to have some help getting things cleaned up. I worked a deal with a widow where I paid cash for some items that I had shown interest in before the fellow died, and on the rest of the stuff, Traded my time and truck for what was left. Be sensitive and good luck!! gaspumpchas
Although these life events are never planned they are, as we all know, inevitable. I have three very close car friends and we have an agreement between us that the ones left behind will assist the families with selling off all the accumulated cars and parts. We all want to protect our families from the vultures that prey on survivors. They are the lowest form of life in our hobby. The FOGGER
Man that is such a delicate situation....my guess is what you posted here might be a good thing to say.....I always feel better when my cards are on the table like that cuz I wwant people to know I'm not trying to be a jerk
Go knock on the door and say exactly what you typed. Don't wait any more. Quite honestly in many cases it's a huge load off a non car person to have that offer of help. Just let them know it's on their schedule. good luck and my condolences
I agree with the other posts. I have been in the same situation and just went and made the offer. They seemed relieved to have it taken care of> And my condolances as well.
Had the same thing happen to me. Waited a couple of weeks so as not to seem like an ass. Found that somebody else had already bought 80% of the stuff for much less than it was worth. I would have given her 4 time what she got, but she had no idea what she had and just wanted it gone. You may not be doing them any favors by waiting (alot of assholes out there). If you have been a friend I'm sure they will unerstand.
I am currently in the middle of a situation like that. A good friend of mine died a little over a month ago, fellow car guy and HAMBer. His daughter and wife are also good friends. I just kept in touch for support etc. One conversation got off on cleaning out the garage. I offered to help clean up and sell parts etc, and expressed interestin some parts and a car he had. A few days later we got together, got a plan, I sorted out parts I wanted, told them what fair prices were on the parts and cars. They just handed me the keys and said "do what you feel is right." I told several local rodders about parts etc, I got her fair prices, and I am still helping clean garage, attic etc. I'm just there for them, and At first I felt like a turd buying parts etc, but If I wasn't there, some shister would have stepped up told her it was all junk, and robbed her blind. I'm glad I'm able to help, and see she gets fair prices and no one takes advantage of her situation. You just have to sit down and talk with them and see where they are with the situation.
There is the other side of it also.........We all need to make sure that our families know what our wishes are in these times. I have told my family that if I got sick and and knew that I would not recover, that I would sell everything so it would not be a burden on them. In case something happened quickly, I have written all of the details of the cars down so that they could be used to sell mt stuff. Bottom line is that if I am gone, I will not care what happens to my junk and I have made sure that my family understands that the cars are not me..........so let them go. But while I am here......that is a different story.
If you were good friends I would expect that you would be spending a little time with the family anyway, expressing sympathies. That would be the time to say what you typed here. Sounds perfectly appropriate if delivered in a respectful manner.
thanks for all the help guys, i think i will mail them a letter as suggested above, stating what i've mentioned.
Being going through this myself right now, and driving my wife and family across the country from here to the utah/Colorado line, I can tell you, right now I'm trying to help my wife deal with decisions with stuff and the bills from not naming an exectutor. What I would do if I were you is to offer your sympathies and let them know when it comes time to make some decisions about the cars specifically, you will make time for them, and help them in any way you can to do whatever they need. That should be plenty said and your willingness to help them will be noticed. I'm glad to be home now, but I can do without any more funerals, or bartering over Mom's cooking pan. I did pick up my dad's A-Bone king pin reamer, and a couple generators. Remind them off and on that you are still around to help if they dont say anything for a while. Good luck
If they want help they'll ask for it. It's presumptous of you to think you could be of value to their situation. The best way for them to lose any property that they don't need for themselves would for them to auction the stuff off that they don't want. Help by bidding if you must.
if your their neighbor....next door....I wouldn't send a letter....seems you would/should have a better relationship with the fam. then to have to send a letter.....
I would wait to see some of the family out and tell them how you were good friends with him, tell them about working on cars together, tell them that you have a truck like the one you said he had and offer to buy some of the parts or vehicles he had if they want to sale them.
Would he have ever mentioned you to them? If he was a car guy he probably spoke of his car buddies. There's no rule of how to do this. But I sure would do a personal visit to express condolences with the family, let them know how you knew him and how you'd be willing and able to help. Again... it's all in the delivery. Good luck.
Just be honest and direct, If they don't know what it is worth, tell them they can have someone else apraise it if they like but you would like to have a chance to buy. In my line of work I deal occasionaly with the families left behind (life insurance) and being honest, direct and compassionate is something that is appreciated. Just my opinion and experience.
Sorry to hear about your loss, but it brings up something I've been thinking of lately. I'm 62 today [yay, made another one] and I was in the garage a few weeks ago looking around. I've been very fortunate in life, and the cars, parts, tools, equip., and literature are enough to choke a horse. This would be a huge burden for my family if something unexpectedly happened to me. There's a lot of money tied up in stuff, that for the most part, looks like junk. I've given my unbelievably patient wife a list of friends to consult. Some know the value of the cars, some the parts, tools, etc. I'll bet most of us are very much alike, and don't even remember what we have. Did you ever find yourself looking for something, and finding something you haven't seen in 15 years. Okay, again, remember my age, but you get the point. It's better to prepare for this stuff. That's all.
I have a situation similiar. Young man next door had a wreck and died. I had talked with his wife and him together, so she knows me. I just ask her ,inside a week, if there was anything i could do and call on me any time. she hasn't ,but i'm sure she will. I will be 70 this yr and am selling as fast as the economy will allow. my kids, all grown, don't know squat about my stuff, other than I have it.
Megan is helping a family who's husband died with more stuff then any one person could deal with. After we went thru 3 barns (two were two story) it was determined that the best approach was to hire an auction company. The family will get fair market value for everything and the cleanup job will be done in short time as opposed to dragging it out over years of trying to sell things piece by piece. In less then one week she has already sold three of the cars here on the HAMB and there is quite a few more. Like others have stated, just offer the family your services and when they are ready they will contact you.
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