I stopped working on other people's cars when I discovered that anything that went wrong with the car after I worked on it was somehow my fault. My wife knows the situation well enough to not "volunteer" me to work on other people's "stuff". A good woman, that! Interestingly this situation applies to most everything. At our house we call it the "curse of being handy". As a result I rarely tell people that I have tools/equipment and stuff. And NEVER EVER tell them I can weld.
if you do this enough you get to be a good read if someone really wants to know how to do it or just using you the guy i deal with is just a user and bs er only time i hear from him is when his dad is up from down south and then acts like we have been friends all winter when in fact the day his dad left was the last i heard from him until he came back in spring. thats what bites only a friend when weather allows me to work on his car otherwise has no use for me.
Thats whats really bothering me about it. I dont even mind doing the free work. I enjoy working on cars. It just seems like all the friends I thought I had were just users. I have known the friend with the mustang since I was about 9 and it seems like its just recently that he is being like this. I think I will take the advice of you guys and not be so available to work on his car.
Friends do not do to friends what he is doing and saying about your working together on his 'Stang - especially best friends. You need to correct him, privately of course, before this boils over for you and you both are no longer friends at all. Let's face it, we all do not have deep pockets and most of us have more time than money. So, you should "trade off" for services with others. I've done this many times trading computer work, car parts, whatever else, to try and get the scale in balance between myself and the person I've helped or is helping me, even if nothing was ever asked for or wanted. I ALWAYS paid fo the parts, paint, etc - the labor is what is traded. Now, I fix computers on the side, rebuild them when the owner no longer wants them, and trade them off for work, etc. The hourly rate for computer repair in my neck of the woods is about equal to car repairs/body work. So, that's how I mentally compute it. If we are getting too deep one way or the other, we sit down and talk about it. None of this is ever easy, nor is it fun at times but you have to separate what is business and what is friendship and what you are doing with exchanging work like you are is BUSINESS - you have to talk about it, get it out in the open, but keep the business part seaprate from the friendship part. You are adults and can agree to disagree about things and not alter your friendship in any way. If only YOU are the adult in this friendship then be the adult and take care of business by you bring up the subject of the business you are trading off. My basic point here is to air it out, to separate the friendship from the business portion of your friendship, and agree on some kind of balance of payment without money exchanging hands - exchanging work, he doing for you on house stuff say that you can't do because you are working on his car. Just getting it out in the open and discussong things will take the "I" out of his explanations of what "he" has done and get it to at least a "we" - if he's not helping you while you are helping him, this will all come crashing down into a bad ending.
Doctors,Laywers and preachers are the WORST in the world,,every time one aske me to do something on their car,lawn mower or what ever all they want to say is.."Do I owe you anything"..never "How much do I owe you?"
I'll help people out once in a while. If someone comes and asks me to do something for free I tell them no I have to much to do. Once in a while I'll fix something for freinds and familly, with them expecting to pay me, and tell them to keep there money. These are people that helped me in the past, or I know if I need help they would be there. Sounds like you are hooked up with a leach. Lots of those out there!! Be up front and tell the guy how you feel. Sounds like the freindship is already on the rocks. Life is to short...
Aside from the "user" thing , there is a liability issue here ! If you repair a car & the owner gets in a wreck , even if you had nothing to do w/ it , "some" attorney will try to hold you accountable if they smell money . In this litigous society we live in ... JUST SAY NO !!! dave
For friends and family I charge a case or two of GOOD import beer for my labor, but only for minor repair/maintenance stuff, e.g. shit that I can do in an hour or two. All else I gotta charge green or services that they can do for me. Sorry dude, you got to hit up your friend about his "behavior". It's not cool.
Since You've known Him since You were 9 yrs old, I would just explain that You have enjoyed helping Him with the car but it does irritate You when He seemingly takes credit for the work. He may not think that upsets You. If He says anything other than "I'm sorry", tell Him that You'll be around to advise Him but He's gonna have to finish it Himself. If He's truly a friend, He'll see His mistake, If He gets pissy, say goodbye and tell Him You'll send Him a bill for Your work !
Funny, I learned how to work on cars by asking my friends, and never once did one of them complain about it over the years. Of course, that was before there were forums like the HAMB to bitch about these kind of topics. Seems like there is a real simple solution to your problem. Tell him no. I can't imagine why that would be a difficult thing to do.
Rich427, You are enabling the friend by continuing to provide so much of your time. Just politely be "unavailable". This is a sensitive subject for many of us and trying to keep the peace is sometimes a difficult task. I have a small circle of folks that I like to think of as friends. There is " a mooch" just outside this circle and I have become more and more openly critical of "the mooch" getting friends to ask for favors as he knows enough is enough. While I do not dislike the "the mooch" , the behavior is simply unacceptable. Saying no is kinda hard sometimes....especially when you are trying to keep the peace. I am going to use this thread to remind me to not be an enabler myself. Best of Luck.
I will work with my friends on occaision but not for my friends. Not for free. I always expect a token price at the very least.
Hey man,you came on a public forum and told everybody your problem. Now tell the person : friend : how you feel and if it bothers them so what. Sounds like if you don't say something your girlfriend will do it for you. You know hes taking advantage of you and you are the only one who can change it. Don't make excuses just be honest and straight forward with the guy.
My old timer true group of friends lost track of favors years ago. We all think we owe each other a favor so are happy to help out each other when we can. I flat out pay my friends for their help on my car. The ones that I know won't take cash I give them gift certificates to restaurants so they can take their significant other. The one's that will take cash, I give them cash. They are cheaper than paying some stranger to do the work. In my opinion, friends will do a much better job because they know they will see the car again and again and again.
A co-worker crashed his O.T. daily. Wiped out the front suspension and also needed brakes. I told him I would do one side and he'd better watch, because he was doing the other side. Worked out great, my labor was free and he learned something.
I told my friends and family... "If I spend 3 hours working on your car, you are going to spend 3 hours at my house, doing things that I should be doing for those 3 hours while I was working on your car" I didn't work on a car for 3 years, except my own... Now in these tough times they are weaseling their way back with excuses like "I'm unemployed, I don't have enough money to take it to a mechanic..." The problem when I tell them what the parts will cost, they don't have the money for that either... So I end up fixing things with duct tape and bubble gum just to get them on the road, and they show up a week later with it not working again... I don't have enough time to fix it once correctly, let alone 2 or 3 time incorrectly. I'm going back to my original rule here REAL soon...
If it costs me time or money, unless your family, a club member or close friend, there is no such word as free. Happy to trade for parts/services or large bottles of Jack but free ain't on the list. Now get orf my lawn!!!
Too bad the Mustang is off-topic, otherwise I'd say sign him up and show off his work. Sorry, but it sure sounds like you're being treated like a floormat.
if he dont have any trade offs for you. send him out the door, car goes first and then they wake up when it comes to putting up with a pain in the butt cut your loses fast or it just gets worse had a few friends who bought lunch in my non working day and time and i put up with a lot and we had a lot of fun but that was not abusive treatment
i feel that i get used all the time. i use the word friend very sparingly. all my true friends know they are my friends and i will help them in any way i can for nothing thats what friends are for. but being a business owner i get people who start coming by the shop just to stop in and shoot the shit, from time to time, which is fine and then it turns into what seams like a friendship. after months it turns into the " i am thinking about doing this and that to my car, what do you think?" that is when you can see it coming. i have fell for this in the past and it really sucks. i did around 3k worth of work on a "friends" hot hot, for nothing other than dinner. amazingly soon after all the work was done his life got to busy and doesnt come around unless he needs something. and that was someone who i had known and hung around the shop for at least a year before needing a favor. it is very strange that people can think that far a head to get something for free and screw you over. the joys of having skills that other need the use of but dont want to pay for. i would finish his car and leave it at that. if you call him out on it he wont come around and you will be that ass hole, if you finish his car at least he wont talk badly about you or your work
wasnt the sigh on paying for fuel a little hint for what you were in for.toss him the manual and call it a day.
dude, he's probably been taking advantage of you since you were kids, now he's just doing it on a larger scale. shame on you for not kicking this loser to the curb years ago. you should have your 'ol lady kick his ass.
As stated, Quid pro quo. Every favor I do for them is returned to me, if not right away at some time shortly afterwards. I don't keep track as we respect each other and don't abuse the privilege.
A friend of mine is a good organizer lady...she wants some electrical work done by Handy Randy......I told her to come over and help me re-organize my shed and garage. I would keep track of the time and I would then come over and help her do the Electrical and spend the same amount of time at her place. I tend to barter with my friends. She gave me some cool tools that was past on to her by her late father. It was a good trade. People don't ask to borrow my truck or tools anymore....you wanna truck go to Uhaul..I ain't a moving service.
Whenever someone sees my truck in the garage and want me to do some body work, I say " As soon as I am done with this one" it been 6 yrs noe on this one.
I have a small group of people I will do anything for, no hard feelings and no questions asked, some of whom are on this board. Other people dont even ask me, I don't know why but I'm fine with it
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