Got hit again at the dealership the night before last. It's happened a few time in the past 20 or so years and I knew it was bound to happen again soon enough. We're situated on a divided 4 lane highway were nobody adheres to the speed limit and there is a reverse camber curve in the road as you approach our dealership. The road is a lousy design and the placement of the traffic signals encourages trouble. A young kid driving a "boy racer" style twelve year old Plymouth Breeze, lowered, shaved, fiberglass racing buckets and a sewer pipe exhaust left the right lane, caught the curb and launched it airborne. He took out a 25' foot tall lamp pole one chain link fence two 4' poles for the small fence, one massive 20' 3 headed lot lamp then decked 3 of our front line Toyota's. 2 of the Toyota's are totaled and 1 needs only a hood and bumper minor repair. Our Toyota business has been awful since February as anyone who reads the news must know but this is just plain evil now. I think I'll go back to school and further my education! Hey......at least none of my fellow employees were involved or hurt. Don't know yet about "Breeze Boy". Do I care?
Well I used to work for a Cadillac dealership in the Body Shop. One day I was over in the service department asking one of the tech's a question about a trunk lock motor. The service writer comes over with a crappy attitude and asked what am I doing and why am I wasting his tech's time. I stated I was asking him a question. He stated that " that's not his job". So I said some stuff to him and went on my way. Well this service writer also had this lube tech working for him and she was known for getting out of the car with ought putting the car in park and so, many cars had hit the work bench. Kept us busy in the body shop. So about a hour later we all hear that the lube tech had ounce again forgot to but the car in park but this time the rack was up and she tried to hit the brake but hit the gas and the rack sticking up cut the engine cratel open like a can opener. So I was in the parts department and in walks the service writer that I had words with earlier. He says you know about the car that just had it's engine cratel cut open, I said I had herd about it. He says well it's your Grandmothers Cadillac and I was wondering if you would call her for me and tell her what happened. I just looked at him, grinned and said hay man, THAT'S NOT MY JOB.
In the 70's I was hanging around the recon shop at the small dealership I worked at and I was soaking up everything I could learn from the more experienced veterans there. I was told by one of the hotshots in the recon facility that he preferred to use "Pledge Furniture Polish" on the leather seats of the luxury cars. I tried some on 2 Corvettes a blue '63 and a lighter blue '58. Real shiny and smelled good too! That weekend on my off time I pulled my '72 Eldorado into the bay and slathered "Pledge" all over the seats. It came out like polished grease! I'm leaving to head home soon. I'm cruising down the front line when a kid I worked with hails me to quickly turn back and give him a hand with some meaningless chore he couldn't handle alone. I crank the steering wheel hard left banging a Uee and slide my ass right out from the driver's side all the way over to the right and bang my self into the passenger's side door panel. The Eldo' clocks right around in front of the showroom with me laying across the passenger seat in a very prone position. Boss steps out in front of me, yells at me to quit showing off and sends me home with a stern scolding. Pledge belongs on furniture, not on cars!
Well I am a guilty party, I worked selling new Fords years ago and when they reintroduced the V8 Falcon I had a couple of good old boys and their ladies from out west I knew call in and see me at the dealership. Anyway they were ready to buy the new V8 so we used to have to drive them down the road then change drivers, so I took off from the apron, you had to be carefull because we were on a busy corner slip road, I stopped to let an old ute go by then gently took off into the road, I looked back to make sure there was no traffic coming on the cross road and the guy in the back yells look out. The old ute had stopped even though nothing was coming on the intersection. Oh Oh a new model and brand new demonstrator, air conditioning condensor, radiator, head light, and front bumper and grill, oh yea and a new set of number plates. Who do you think didn't feel like a real dill going in and telling the boss I just punted the only V8 we had and he was pretty cool about it, just get the f'ing thing fixed so we can use it again was the comment.
John in oz ,This reminds me when our dealer had a new product test and compare session.Only the test drive was for the dealer workers sales and service so they can honestly tell the public how great there new line was. The car was the neon and it was due to be released in six months,big wigs from the zone came as well as our regular asian rep that we named repzilla.They brought a honda and a toyota as well as a chevy so we could all take turns to compare the cars. We had too many workers so the broke us up into teams,three per vehicle and gave us a route to follow,about ten miles total.Well i was one of the three biggest clowns the dealer had to offer and the other two were on my team as well so fun was to be had for shure. Did i mention the day they decided to do this was the biggest snow storm we had in years?About 4-5 inches on the ground and a white out while we started. We get sent off in the new neon first,my buddy john at the wheel and my friend frank shotgun,me in the rear to explore. We take off and nail it,not bad for a shit box we thought.Allong the service road we go, at about 50 mph i get the brainstorm to give john a little scare and yank the e brake and release it fast too keep him on his toes. Well i give it a yank and the car swings hard left,sending me across the back unable to release it.Car swings left then right and then proceeds to do a seris of 360s down the highway. All you could here is all three of us screaming going in circles.Eventually we stopped and john and frank opened bolth rear doors and procided to thorw me a beating. All in fun of coarse,i kicked them back and put muddy boot prints on the seat backs and headliner. Needless to say from that moment on i wasnt allowed to drive anything,and we laughed hard for hours.Trying too keep a straight face when we gave the keys back was priceless.
Practical jokes & dealerships just go together. Back in the mid 60s I watched one of the guys take the cover off a Tbird sequential t/s motor (to reveal the motorized points) & wire up an ignition sys. to fire off one set of the points. The whole thing was set up to get the grouchy Russian parts guy. They knew he would check it out. Sure enough when he leaned over and touched the fender it shocked the hell out of him. We laughed till we pissed our pants. Learned some Russian cuss words that day.
Same groucy Russian parts guy had a bad habit of throwing parts at you when you came up to get them. Back in the day oil & ATF came in metal qt. cans. One of the guys was doing a PS repair and needed a seal kit & 1 qt. of ATF. When he threw the ATF at him he wasnt ready for it and it hit him in the head. Well he chased the guy up the back stairs and he locked himself in the 2nd floor john. Stayed there for an hour or more. Had to get the parts manager to get him to come out.
Have another story about the Russian guy. He was certainly a character. A customer comes in and wants to buy a part that is on the second floor. The parts guy was an older guy at the time and it was a long walk upstairs. He starts talking out loud to himself, just calling the customer every name under the sun in Russian. He was a bit too loud because the lady sitting in the chairs nearby understood every word he said. I guess she called him a filthy old man among other things. I guess he was embarrassed as hell.
In 1964, a friend of my uncles had a 56 crown Vic with a tricked out 390 in it. He got beat several times by a couple different new 64 Galaxie's. So he's checking out rental companies and finds one with a new 1964 Galaxie 500 XL with a 427 in it. He rents the car for the weekend, drives to the shop and pulls the 427 out of the rental car. Pulls the 390 out of his Crown Vic, glues some bolt heads around the bottom of the block to simulate the 427 rod bolts and repaints the 390. Installed the 390 into the rental car and returns it on Monday afternoon. Nobody was any wiser.
This time the story is about me and I'm on the other side of this one. Back in 1975 I had a 57 Chevy 2 dr post with a real nice Plymouth 340 HP motor and a tricked out 904 auto. (blew the original 327 up, 340 was the only small block I could find) Anyways.....I'm at a Chrysler Dealership in the back row looking for another car. I get out of my 57 to check out a possible, left it running and in park. My 3 year old son was also in the front seat. I was so close to my car I could touch the fender,...the kid pulls the stick into drive!! The car idles a little high, jumps forward. It skins the front fenders and grills of the first two cars close to it. Bounces off them and hits the last car right in front of the tire and creams the fender! What a mess!! I was freaked out, ran and jumped in my 57 and backed it up. I got out to check all the damage, I looked around and don't see anyone. I hung around for about another 15 minutes trying to figure out what to do. I was still paniced and just got in my car and drove away without saying a word to anyone. That was 35 years ago!
I was a t a Cadillac/GMC dealer about twenty years ago. I had one of theose GMC trucks with the 305 with the bad cams. I had a lobe go flat on it at about 25,000 miles. The guy in the dealership looked at the truck and gave me a price to change cams, I was trying to get a new one for free since this was a well known problem with those engines at the time. While we were talking there was 3-4 "techs" working on a big Caddy across from us. They had a big chainfall hooked to the engine and were attempting to pull the engine. They just kept pulling and pulling on the chainfall till the front tires were about six inches off the floor. the hood was off the Caddy and one guy was standing on the cowl with a long prybar down behind the engine rocking it back and forth. Once the entire front end was off the floor the chain broke, dropping the car back down on the floor with a big bang. The guy on the cowl says "I guess we need a bigger chain"....I changed the cam in my truck myself, even for free they weren't gonna touch it!
Jay Leno told a funny line in his book once titled "Follow My Chin." Jay told how he earned pay in the middle 60's working at a Ford dealership here in Eastern Massachusetts. After interviewing for a promotion from the wash rack and buff 'n shine department they moved Jay into the mainstream service department. His new job description became "Head Technician of The Odometer Recalibration Department." Remember in those days when a car NEVER read over 50,000 miles? Don't worry now Jay............The statute of limitations has long ago run out on that one.
Wont mention what import dealer I work at, we recently had a disgruntled saleman ask for a banker hour schedule 9-5 monday through friday...after the sales manager laughed at him and said no he took it out on 6 new helpless vehicles. 10k later in paint repair due to this dudes keys he no longer works here....pressed in deep enough to actually dent the cars as well as scratch them....what a tool!
My younger brother, who now owns a large Ford dealership in New Hampshire, told me a story that took place back in the early 80's, so I guess the statute of limitations has run out on him by now. He worked for a large automobile wholesaler in Massachusetts who traded extensivly in late model airport rentals. An '82 Regal they bought from H@#$z had a loud bearing rap. Common problem for those 231"engines. H@#$z wouldnt take the car back and GM would not warranty it. So on the next trip back to the airport location they liberated another similar Regal, drove it to their lot and did a engine swap overnight then returned the donor car to the rental line for more abuse. The recipiant car eventually turned them a tiny profit and all was well with their tiny little world again. Two months down the road and my brother is at the H@#$z disposal lot and buys several more '81 and '82 Regals. One of them, a real clean dark red one is being reconditioned for sale and my brother buys that one too. When the transporter gets it to my brothers lot they lift the hood and spy a brand new engine in it with decals on both valve cover reading Russell's Engine Rebuilders. Yep............it's the same car my brother and his band of merry men liberated earlier to play in the donor roll. He won 2 rounds on that shady deal. I wonder how he sleeps at night. I guess that why he's the rich one in our family and I'm still struggling thru life. At least I dont have too look over my shoulder all the time. There are other creepy stories he passed on to me but I think I've devulged too much already.
Great stories 2many! I take it you go to the Toyota sale at Framingham? Remember the guy who used to show up with the NY Yankees shirt? That was me!
YOU??? It's a small world on the H.A.M.B. I still do ADESA every week along with Southern Auto and Lynnway. Car dealerships, auctions, the hunt and the sale...........it's in our blood thru both good and bad times. Times right now are not very good but we can still get some funny moments, maybe even get paid for it. The advent of computers took the big profit out of dealership retail sales profit. Car fax.com,cars.com., and similar stuff made us more intelligent but it made the retail buyer more informed also. Profit margins have changed dramatically the past 3 years. We still have good stories to tell each other though.
I used to run a bunch of stuff @ Southern when I was at Rockland Toyota. Work for a Hyundai store here in Jersey now as the used car manager. Love my job, FINALLY! I'd bet money we'd recognize each other if I saw ya. But these days I do Skyline and Adesa NJ with the occasional trip to Manheim. Sooo... stories... I can tell a lot, and I've only been doing this for 16 years. Here's one that I remember... Lady comes in to buy a new $22k or so sedan except that she has atrocious credit, somehow, some way, our finance guy gets her bought. 21.99%, $4,000 down on a $13k used car with EVERY stip imaginable, this means proof of income, proof of residence, copy of phone bill, references, etc. Single mom, got the $4k from her old clunker getting totalled, needed a car for work, so we got a bank to do us a favor, and it took a LOT of work to get her into ANYTHING. Basically the bank said "OK, but at the highest rate we charge, and we want to have equity in the car from day 1, and if she's late on one payment we're gonna hook that thing". She's not real happy, but we get her into an, IIRC, 3 or 4 year old Altima that she was OK with. We clearly explain that this is due to her credit and that there is no other option, and that it was a lot of work to even get her into a car at all. A week later she walks in with her "lawyer". He starts right in "How dare you not sell this lady a new car when she asked for a new car and how dare you take advantage of her and charge her 21.9% when you were advertising 1.9% this is bait and switch and I demand that you supply my client with a car at the advertised terms, etc. All this time he's waving our ad. Well, turns out we still had the deal handy as it was the usual funding issues with a subprime deal. I know right where this is going and I decide to have some fun with the situation. As a quick reference, the reason she got a $13k car was due to a payment call from the bank, basically they capped her at, IIRC, $250 or $275 a month and would advance 80% of wholesale. We made no $ on the financing and maybe $1100 on the car. So I ask the attorney to read where it says "Not all customers will qualify" and he goes into a spiel about how she has a steady job, etc and how we're taking advantage of her and charging her usurious interest, etc. I then grab the deal, and with the customer's permission show him that every bank turned her down, except that we were able to get one bank to do it, on VERY restrictive terms at a VERY high rate but that it was this or no car, period. He looks at her and says "I thought you told me you had good credit" She says "I got approved on a car didn't I?"
About 6 years ago I'm at a car club autocross here in Jersey. I'm talking to a friend of mine who is a tech at a local dealer. All of a sudden I hear him say "What the FUCK?" On the autocross course being pushed real hard is a nice shiny black 325i with "XXX BMW SERVICE LOANER" along the back window. The same dealership that my friend works at!
Here's a fun trade-in story. I'm working at a Toyota dealership as the used car manager... salesperson comes to the desk, this customer won't do ANYTHING until we give him a trade-in figure. OK, I bite and go to talk to him. Before I can even say hi he says "Look buddy I don't wanna hear any of your bullshit, before we even start I don't wanna hear anything about your bullshit guide, I want Kelly Blue Book for my Tacoma or I'm not gonna do anything at all" OK, no problem, so I go to look at the truck, immaculate 3 year old Tacoma 4X4, V6, TRD off road, extended cab, Black, 20k miles, etc. Now, no dealer I know uses KBB to appraise trades, around here we use Galves. Galves is usually quite accurate, but a lot of people troll the net till they find the highest trade-in value they can find, regardless of what their car is actually worth. In this rare case, Galves pegged the truck at $22k or so trade-in, they were doing even more at auction and KBB pegs the truck at $18k. I also needed it badly, I'd have given him $23-23500 for it if I had to without blinking. Anyhow, we get back inside, the whole time he's following me, won't let me touch the keys, etc. I try and explain that KBB isn't reflective of market values, he says "I knew you were gonna try that bullshit on me, $18k or NO DEAL AND I WALK" Who am I to argue? We write a deal on a new Tacoma and he signs up. I'm outside smoking a cigarette a week later and he comes in to pick up his registration, and he says "Boy I bet you don't wanna see me again, I really showed you!" Oh Hi Mr X! He's with his friend, he then says, right in front of me "I didn't let this guy get a word in edgewise, I told him what to pay me for my trade, HAHA! I really got you buddy, you were gonna offer me $15k I bet!" I look at him, smile and say "Nope, book is $22k on your truck but I'd have gone to $23k, but you insisted I give you KBB for your truck, and when I tried to say that KBB wasn't reflective of market values you said that was bullshit, right?" The look on his face was priceless
Fun with salespeople... I had a salesman that I suspected was taking home lease returns at night when nobody was looking. So I decided to set him up, catch him and at the same time have some fun with him. So at the time we have 2 lease returns that aren't at the storage lot. I hide the keys to one, and leave only one key for the other. I happen to know where this guy lives.... Sure enough, I drive by his house later that night and the car is in his driveway. I had an extra dealer plate with me. I call my friend, we swing back, grab the car and drop it back off at the dealership while this fool is sleeping. The next morning I walk in right at 9am and he's sitting at his desk, visibly shaken... like white as a ghost. I walk up and ask if he has the keys to the white IS250 that has to go to the storage lot. He says no, then I ask "So how the fuck did the car make it to your driveway last night?" He starts stammering... looks like he's about to piss himself. I took a pic of the car in his driveway with my phone, printed it out and handed it to him. He looks at me and says "What the fuck is this?" "This is proof that you committed grand theft auto. You can give me the spare key, clean out your desk and get off the property in the next 10 minutes or I'm going to call the police back". I got the key
At one Chevy store I worked at years ago being in management I had a demo. Because I was an assistant, I was limited to certain cars, Camaro, Monte Carlo, and Caprice. One day the new car manager came to me and asked if I had ever had a K-5 Blazer assigned to me. I told him no, that I was not allowed that level vehicle. He said he knew that, but had to ask everybody as there was a K-5 on the lot with 1000 miles on the odometer that was never assigned to demo fleet About a week later a Malibu was recovered from a pond. Window sticker still on it, about 2k on the car. Still in dealership inventory. Found stolen in a inventory audit and reported a couple of weeks before. A few days later the city we were in was chasing a new Nova for a traffic violation with one of our dealer plates on it. Crashed it.Teenager driving ratted out his buddy, a new car porter. Seems our porter snagged a dealer tag and was using it to take cars for his own use. Loaned it to his pal, big mistake, he sung like a Canary. The porter was taken for questioning, he admitted to the K-5, the Nova and the Mailbu. The Malibu, well he got scared when the questions started on the Blazer with 1K, figured the Malibu with 2K was worse, so he dumped in a pond to get rid of the evidence. When the dust settled, the new car manager came back to inform all of us in management what had transpired. One point he made was that he could not understand why this kid did this and how great of a porter he was, always worked harder than the others. I replied "Well, he should have worked hard, he had demos!"
Mid 70's, again the same dealership, we had Eaton Research test cars at our store. These were early air bag cars. Unusual cars, Chevy Impalas with Oldsmobile Delta dashes in them with bags. They had stickers under the hood, in the glove compartment, sun shades, all with a 24 hour number to be called IF EVER this car was involved in a collision of any sort. We had one towed in, hammered hard in the front end. Fenders flush with mid line of the front wheels. Well, Eaton was called, they were coming out the next day to inspect, photograph and analyze this car. Along with the Olds dash, they were equipped with AM-FM radios, not real common in that day. One dim bulb porter used to snag radios out of totals and sell them for a few bucks. We knew radios were getting snagged, but never knew who did it as people scaled the fence a lot. Metro Detroit, alongside a freeway and service drive. Anyway, the Eaton guys had a cow the next morning when they came out. This kid tore the dash up with a crowbar. And to add to the fun, the body shop manager looked at the car first thing in the morning, probably a two or three hour window of opportunity. Porters were all called in, one at a time, one rolled over and said that so and so did it. He was pulled back in the office and admitted to it. Fired on the spot, rumor that Eaton was looking at prosecuting but never heard what happened on that. Will tell the '57 Chevy stories later tonight that took place in '79
In 1979, I worked for a Chevy dealer. Before that, I was at a Chry-Ply-FIAT dealer. While at the Chevy store, I was a busy boy, being a service-writer-in-training, plus I got to haul customers off to work, take cars and trucks from service to either the lot porters for detail, or between the body shop and service, etc. A customer just had his '72 Corvette Stingray (454 4-speed, triple white) repainted at our body shop. The body shop had a great reputation for quality paint and body - they were very good at their jobs! I was pulling the 'Vette around to the Service Department where the customer; a boyhood friend of the dealership owner, was waiting. I had to stop in front of the open body shop drive-in door, because of another vehicle stopped in front of me. Another car rolled up behind me, so I was stuck as a third vehicle was backing out of the body shop door (without a spotter) and punched a four-inch round hole in the passenger side door! Of course, that loud "POP!" that fiberglass makes when it gets smacked was heard by EVERYONE...including the owner and the 'Vette owner. The employee backing the truck was fired on the spot. The dealer told the Vette owner that he'd have his car in 48 hours (this was on a Friday afternoon). Three body shop guys got the car fixed back up in 24 hours, and the owner got the car back on Saturday afternoon.
Record time for the shortest employment period was 45 minutes. We hired a parts counter trainee, a glorified stock boy position. Anyway, a hot-shot run was needed to a nearby dealership. Put him in the parts manager's demo. He pulls out of a parking spot, clips a guywire for a utility pole, breaks that, launches it into a new Corvette and screws up the side of the Caprice. Same utility pole, but a couple of years later. I get the dreaded Saturday (we were closed) catch-up supervision. Parts manager out of town, so I'm the boss. We started about 10, promised everyone that we would be out early, and let's bust ass and get it done. We broke for lunch, came back in. About fifteen minutes later, power goes off. And we hear a loud bang from out back. Smoking pole pig. Call Detroit Edison, I let everyone go home. So I wait and wait. Five hours later they show up. Let them in the gate, up they go. They tossed down the culprit, a very well toasted Squirrel. Seems he crossed two legs on the transformer. He never did that again. So. I got to leave about 7 on a Saturday evening. The joys of management.
Body shop had an estimate to write, this was in '79, before all the aftermarket tri-five Chevy parts were around. A Bel-Air coupe came in, t-boned, took the passenger side door and quarter out hard. Body shop manager called me out to speak to the customer regarding parts which were unobtainable from GM. Seems he would not take no for an answer. I explained that there were no parts available through the normal channels, but I had a friend that bought and sold tri-five parts and that he could get rust free sheetmetal from out west. This went on for a half hour or so, he just wanted to argue I think. This was not the right answer according to the customer. He then went off on a rant, "I can't understand why GM doesn't make these parts anymore. These cars are very popular." As if I didn't know that, I'd been active in the car hobby at that point for about thirteen years. I answered back, "Well, they couldn't that popular, Chevy quit building them in the summer of '57 and started building '58's to replace them." Guy got pissed, told me to engage in a sexual act with myself and smoked the tires leaving the service drive. Body shop manager, service manager, myself the assistant parts manager all looked at each other and started laughing. Body shop manager thanked me and told me that he had been trying to get rid of him for at least a half hour before. Another crisis solved.
in 1990 I was working part time for a used car dealer in NJ just off Fort Dix. He was pursuing a '64 1/2 Mustang that was still in the possession of the original owner. the car was not mint by any stretch but it was a true one owner vehicle. anyway the dealer finally managed to trade a 1986 Ford Tempo for it and had me pull it into the bay to do an oil change on it's six cylinder. the filter was a bear to get off and weighed about three pounds after I finally managed to remove it. as I went to crush the filter I noticed the brand name: ROTUNDA. I took the filter into the dealer's office, his got eyes big when he saw it and he said, "DON'T TELL ME THAT COME OFF THAT MUSTANG!". yep. I went ahead and changed the oil that plopped out like molasses and took the dealer the keys. he told me to drive it to the gas station and fill up the tank. I shook my head and said, 'I ain't driving that thing!'. He filled the tank up, drove it for a few days and, natch, it started smoking pretty bad and it wasn't too long before he had to tear it down for a rebuild. If he still has the car he is now probably very happy with the deal but at the time he was pretty ticked.
Regarding the Tacoma customer wanting KBB story.................. I'm rolling on the floor over that one. Customer deserved what he heard coming from your mouth.
The Jalopy Journal
