The Jalopy Journal
Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by Timmy Z, Sep 4, 2008.
super old post anyone care to bring it back to life....
Sure - I'll resurrect it
A buddy and I were driving his OT pickup from Chicago to St. Louis. At a gas stop about halfway there we hear the old hiss from a front tire. Spare - what spare?? We take a screw out of his grill and screw it into the hole. Made it the rest of the way and he even drove it to work a few days like that until he got it fixed. Never did add any air.
Driving my 1930 RPU back from Somerset Ky I kept hearing a little metal ringing and seeing a spark. The alt bolt broke intone head and was backing out into the fan. The fan would push it back in and doit again a few minutes later. I found a rusted pair of vise grips under the seat a buddy of mine had an old bungee strap. I pushed the bolt back thru the alt clamped the vise grip to it, took the bungee strap and pulled the alt tight. Drove another 80 miles to get home.
Some good stories here.
I punched a small hole next to the drain plug on my oil pan once due to road debris. Of course all the oil poured out of the engine...
I called up a buddy and after some thought we took some super glue with a fast acting spray-on harder and a foil gum wrapper to patch the thing.
I coated the gum wrapper with glue, sprayed the activator and slapped it on the hole...let it harden up then poured in some oil...Fired her up and drove her home with no problems...didnt leak either!
Of course I got to work on replacing the pan..luckily having an extra.
On a tour with the Austin Bantam club on of the Austins had the top shock nut come off. The drivers wife took off her nylons (remember those??) and wrapped it around the top to keep it attached.
I was a Furnace Man back in the 70s and had a Corvair Van as a service truck, it was the greatest in the Pgh. winters, and would go any where you pointed it. I did a lot of oil service, and many mobile homes. If it was freezing you gota go cause the water lines would freeze and crack. It was 3:00Am on a long stretch of road and she quite running. Gas line froze, 10 Below, no one around to help, and van full of tools. Took a roll of 3/8 Copper tubing, stuck it in the gas tank filler (tank up front) duct taped it to the side of the van straight to the back, opened up the rear access door, hooked it to the fuel pump, loosened the pump (one bolt) and pumped it up and down, heard gas flowing in the carbs, tightened the pump, started and was on the road again in 10 mins. Next day, went to my friend shop, up on the rack she thawed out and was good to go, with a lot of gas tank deicer just in case. Iceman
Posted this oe on another thread(I think) but I'll repeat it as this one required just one tool:a Swiss Army Knife and a McDonald's drinking straw.
Coming home from a job one day the 55 Safari starts sputtering and stalls.I coast to the side of the road;luckily the M-50 entrance to Michigan International Speedway which gets the car well out of traffic.
Try starting it a couple times and it seems like it's starving for fuel.Sure enough;nothing getting into the carburetor.Pump seemed to be working OK and it had a half tank of gas.
My tool kit was in my garage at home as I had been using it the day before to work on my lawn tractor and neglected to put it back in the car.
After calling my wife and asking her to get my tool kit I sat back to wait for her to drive the 15 or so miles.On a hunch I thought that possibly the gas line was plugged.Having only a Swiss Army Knife on me,I used the screwdriver blade to loosen the Murray clamp on the short piece of hose going from the tank to the feed line.Pulling it off resulted in no gas coming out at all.
In the car was a drinking straw and taking and fitting it into the neoprene line I attempted to blow through it.No luck. I then removed the gas cap and tried again.This time I heard some bubbling inside the tank.Blowing once again I suddenly got a flowing of gasoline through the line.
Put the line back on and tightened the clamp just as my wife pulled up with the tools. I told her what I had done and said I was going to try starting it.First kick and it lit right off!
Motioning her to follow me I slowly pulled back onto the road and drove all the way home without incident.
Pulling out the tank revealed the problem.Someone had at one time taken out the fuel tank sender and when re-installing it used some black silicone sealer in lieu of a new gasket. A piece of the sealer had fallen into the tank and blocked off the feed line in the tank. While I had the tank out I had it cleaned out and sealed and installed the proper gasket on the sending unit. Been trouble free ever since.
Blew a headgasket on a 70s Arctic Cat snowmobile. Stuck on the mountain, with all daylight gone, we had the head off and on a bunch of times, trying to make a gasket out of everything from stripped copper wire to aluminum cut from a beer can. The last effort was done totally by braille, as we cut leather from our gloves, layed it on top of the cylinder, cut a hole for the spark plug, then bolted the head down. She fired up and we rode down the mountain as proud as could be.
I blew a fuel pump on my old Ford truck, luckily I had a lawn mower and gas can in the box. Off came the mower tank, yanked an unimportant hose and walla gravity feed. I had to drive about 15 miles so it took a few fills with that 390 in her. Also blew a tie rod end on a s-10, found out I could still drive it if I kept it under 15 mph anything over I had to get out and kick the front wheel back in line.
I was heading up to Iowa in my 55 when guy in front of me hit something laying in the road. It bounced back & I heard it hit under the 55, pulled over quick look seemed ok .few miles down road noticed the gas gauge was down to 1/4. pulled in to a small town found a small crack in bottom of gas tank . found a auto parts store got a tank patch kit filled up and it still leaked.A old farmer came over to check out the car asked what the problem was. told him tank was leaking .he told me to get a bar of Ivory soap & rub it over the crack that would solve the problem .wife ran across to store got the ivory soap and sure enough that stop the leak completelyGuess the old farmer knew what he was talking about. any way drove the 55 another 5 yrs before I sold it. never did leak a drop .I always carry a bar of ivory soap in the tool box now.
I've got a pretty goofy one.
I had a '72 Javelin. The connection between the main link and the wiper motor let loose, but the wipers themselves were still connected to each other. I positioned the wipers straight up, took a long length of heavy gauge insulated wire, (bright red, no less) and tied it to the middle of the driver-side wiper. Then ran it through the driver-side vent window, through the interior of the car, out the passenger-side vent window, and tied it to the passenger-side wiper, keeping the wire fairly taught. Manual wipers. Looked stupid as can be, but worked damn good...lol.
Clutch linkage came apart somewhere in Idaho on my '70 Econoline, made a cotter pin from acetylene torch tip cleaner. Lasted thousands of miles. Same van, middle of Denver traffic, throttle linkage falls apart, rig it together with garbage bag tie, while sitting in the van (you can work on engine from inside, just open the "doghouse")
Late 60s, riding around NYC in friend's VW Bug, throttle cable breaks. He pulls remaining cable back to engine, runs it out of louvers in hood, outside the car to drivers window, ties it to a soda bottle & we drive home with him pulling on soda bottle out the window to run the throttle.
I think I have posted this on here before but I was on a trip with a guy in his flattie powered car a few years ago. The flex fan somehow moved forward on its' shaft, made contact with the radiator chewed some hole in it.
It was about 4pm on a Thursday night and we we a long way from any radiator repair shop. We limped to a car parts shop a few miles away and drained the water in the carpark, catching the water in a bucket we borrowed. There were about 7-8 cut cores, so we blew into the top of the radiator and crimped as many of the holes as we could, squeezing them until the air stopped blowing out.
Then we mixed up a small can of bodyfiller and spread that all over the trashed cores.
After it set we checked for leaks by blowing in the top again, then refilled the radiator. We had to be careful in traffic but clocked up another 700 miles that weekend on that repair with no problem.
This might get someone out of a tight spot some time.
In the early fifties my brother and I spent many a wondrous week in the summer at our grand parents farm in north Iowa. Their only mode of transportation back then was a '30 model A. Every saturday we, Grampa and gramma and the two of us, would pile in and head to the tiny town to do some "trading". On the way home with items we had gotten by trading eggs in at Jake and Jim's general store we had a flat on the right front. No spare, what to do, miles from home on an old gravel road? Grampa got out, removed the wheel and told Roger and me to sit behind him as far to the left as we could and sit still and we proceeded home to the farm on three wheels! Just one of the beautiful memories I have from those simple and beautiful days.
This summer we whent to the funny car nats in ohio towed out from nj with my 84 chevy duelley and a 48 foot chaparelle we went over the truck good before we head out changed engine new exhust tires brakes.
Well we make it out but the truck runs hot towing at the track we change pumps and fan we race the week end and had a great time.
We get up sunday go to eat and head out to the track to get the trailer and head home check all the fluids hook up and head out for home
We get about 10 miles from the track and stop at a light and bob looks at me and i at him and we bouth are WTF
Just last month. I inherited a 2-dr. 1960 Nash Rambler from a neighbor that died. I didn't want the little Rambler and have too many projects, so I put it on a trailer to take to a local auto-swap meet. While I was tieing it down on the trailer, I stuck my head under the right front fender. I spot nylon rope !!! I look harder and see some sort of "roadside repair" where the upper A-arm is tied to the lower A-arm with neatly coiled nylon (think ski rope) rope. All knoted tightly and done very well. In the military - this is called a 'field expedient repair' - meant to get the vehicle back to the motorpool only. My neighbor drove this little car for a year or so and I know he never stuck his head under the fender or else he would have flipped out.
In 1976 a friend and I went to the Street Machine Nationals in Tulsa in my '55 Chevy. I had built a nice 350 with a nice Crane cam. Being young and dumb, I didn't know about 'long slot' rocker arms, so the extra lift of the cam would put extra wear on the factory stamped steel rocker arms and occasionally one would break. I carried a coffe can with spare rocker arms and got quite good at doing a quick replacement on the side of the road. Anyway.....coming home from Tulsa, just outside of Ardmore, Oklahoma we hear a clicking noise, shut off the motor and pull off the side of the road. Pull valve cover and discover that not only did a rocker arm break, but one of the valve spring retainers was broken. The noise was the valve bouncing off the top of the piston. Pulled the valve spring off that intake valve, slid a piece of spare fuel line over valve stem, a couple of hose clamps to keep valve up, and on the road again. Pull spark plug wire and drive home on seven cylinders.
Am I missing something here? ????????????????????????????????
Not the repair but the continued ability to steer was most amazing thing about this incident. I have a 39 Ford pickup that I have driven every day for 17 years. The right front wheel hit a small pothole and I heard something dragging on the road. Not a good place to stop so I drove 1/4 mile up a hill, turned right into a parking lot, then turned right again into a parking spot. Got out, looked under, the tie rod end had stripped and pulled out of the tie rod. The left front wheel was not connected to the steering at all!
I put the stripped out tie rod end back in the tie rod and drove home. SLOWLY
Long ago, one of my employees called in after lunch...her clutch in her Pinto (THAT dates this story!) had utterly failed and she could not get out of a parking lot. I drove up to investigate...after much peering into all the unfamiliar late model stuff in the rust cave, I finally realized that the entire clutch cable had shered through its mounting where it had been secured to the slab of rust at the back of the engine by a smaller piece of rust installed at the factory. When the pedal was depressed, the entire cable assembly just lazily slid back and forth, dribbling rust flakes here and there.
We had nothing. Probably less than $10 between us, no tools more serious than a pocketknife, barren burger parking lot with more nada. Only visible store not selling junk food was a big discount place, one of the crappy local sort that preceded the arrival of crappy national chain stores.
Hardware and tool sections were deserts of scanty collections of flimsy crap...we focused on a vise-grip set, one of the only real tools in the place, with one big grip and one little one. This was JUST within our combined means, so we took it.
Small grip became the new rustwall to cable clamp after I pulled the housing out against its inner block of rust; I adjusted grip clearance down to KILL and popped it on, and that stayed on the car until all the rust flakes ceased association years later.
Comeon Rocky, finish the story. I know you even got pictures to go withit.
Then tell the 911 parade story.
Frank w/ Total Insanity.
Well I could go on for hours but probably one of the most memorable was stealing the coil out of an old Chebby pickup in Baja to go in a meyers toad. Got caught, talked my way out of a mexican jail and we finished the race.
Cruising home one day; 100 miles from home! The truck starts stumbling suddenly, and stalls. I coast to the side and wonder what's wrong. Checked for spark by cranking the engine with one plug wire pulled and a screwdriver hanging from the end so I could watch to see a spark. Then I pulled the air cleaner and blipped the throttle to see no gas!
After pulling the fuel line to the pump and not seeing any gas, I decided something must have plugged up the fuel filter back by the gas tank. Pulled the line and got a gusher of gas! So now how do I remove the filter to get home, but keep the lines together?
Dug through the glovebox and ffound an old pen. Stripped the guts out, and checked the lower part of the pen to see how it fit 3/8" fuel hose. Good fit on one end, but tapered on the other to the small hole. Got the trusty pocket knife out and kept turning the pen and using the knife like a tubing cutter to work through the plastic pen. Once I had it cut off an inch or so, I pulled the filter, and stuck the pen inline and replaced the hose clamps.
Made it home without issues, although the gas smell from my hands was pretty intense all the way home!
Episode 1-To be continued......
Episode 2- ?????
Off topic car here, but I had a turbocharged Mustang a few years back that I had built a liquid-to-air intercooler for. The intercooler used an ice chest in the back of the car, with a 12v water pump that RV's use for things like a shower and faucet.
As I'm getting close to home one night, I smell and then see a big cloud of thick smoke coming out of the back of the car. I pull into a parking lot and raise the hood. Huge flames burst up and I immediately thought I was going to see the car burn to the ground.
I quickly grabbed my pocketknife and cut one of the intercooler hoses, then reached into the car and turned on the pump. Then I doused the fire out just like a fireman.
Come to find out, a turbo oil return line had cracked and sprayed a fine mist all over the exhaust header. All that needed to be replaced was that line and a few wires. I got lucky! Now I keep an extinguisher in all my cars.
We all have other hobbies, but similar gear wrenching lifetsyles. I live in the wooded mountains of the Northwest and am apart of a fairly large Off-Road community ( think Jeeps, 4Runners, Samurais etc on huge tires). All of these capable rigs are usually full of tools, on board air and welders. They run up sloppy shale inclines in the middle of nowhere at RPM's you normally hear at the starting line at your favorite dragstrip. It's not like crawling over rocks at thr Rubicon at a slow pace.
On this trip we have a full size Chevy with us and he is giving it hell climbing a trail and we hear a giant metal woodpecker attatcking his block-snapped a rod. We are 4 hours into this trail from the Highway and 40 miles from the nearest civilization. Most of the time we would leave the truck, get all of the wives and kids home and come back the next day to retrieve it, but it's early, snowing ( the kids and dogs are having fun) and the wives don't seem to mind a rescue at this point.
We bring the tool bags together to check supplies. Plastic zip lock bags, sealer, spray paint, rags , a hatchet and hand tools-check. We pull the intake, heads and oil pan in the snow, catching the oil in the Ziplocks. Have a couple guys cleaning the surfaces and one guy straightening the head gasket and spraying both sides with rattle bomb. We locate the broken rod, pull the caps and shove the piston with half a dangling rod up through the block. Remember the hatchet? One of the guys has been carving a wooden plug to drive into the limp cylinder and keep it from becomming an oil compressor. We get the partial tree installed, reassemble the head onto the Krylon infused gasket, silicone the intake back on, fill it with the ziplock re-used oil and have some lunch. After tossing snowballs, enjoying lunch and the campfire, we fired it up. An obvious engine miss only 7 instead of 8 , but no leaks, no smoke.
He drove it another 3 hours out and back to the trail head where the car trailers were. One of the guys with an obvious non street leagal wheeler offered his trailer for the ride home, but the guy said it wasn't running bad, not overheating and thought he could make it. We followed him home and helped him swap the motor the next month. He knocked the plug out of the block and kept it in his garage as a trophy.
Me and my wife were driving back from Florida in a non-forum Mercury Sable. We had gotten into a sea of traffic in the middle of Atlanta 47 lanes wide and we were in the far left lane with a 12 foot wall right beside us. (no shoulder, wall about a foot from the mirror...) Then, it dies....
So traffic is backed up behind us forever... People honking, etc...
So I have the hood up and for some reason realize I must be vapor locked. It's over 100 degrees and high humidity there in traffic in Atlanta. A cop comes up alongside and says he called a tow truck. Great......
He goes on, and not having any tools with me, I grab a towel and then a pen from the back. I took apart the pen, and used the center of it to press in on the schraeder valve of the fuel rail with the towel around it. I had my wife cycle the electric fuel pump by turning on and off the ignition a few times. When I got some cooler fuel to come through, I threw the towel in the trunk, fired it up, and got out of there.
After that the traffic let up a little, got some cooler air through the grill and never had a problem all the way home...
old toyota car stops running and pulls to the side of the highway (outside of fresno hw99)
some bikers stop to see if they can help, they figure its the fuel pump is bad....
drained the windshield washer resv and filled it with gas (that had been siphoned into a found beer bottle) and put the washer hose into the carb......
So you "wash" the windsheild and start the car, drive and when it starts to die... wash the windshield again
that car ran like that for afew months
So this Professor is driving past the mental institute in Salem Oregon. A wheel comes off the car and stops when it hits the fence of the asylum.
The Prof walks over to the fence to get his wheel and looks a little perplexed. This disturbed man walks up and says, "hey your wheel came off." The Prof says, "Thanks" then says, " I don't know what I am going to do." The guest of the asylum says, " Well why don't you take one lug nut off of each wheel, and use them to put that wheel on and drive to a garage." The professor says, "What a brilliant idea!!" The loony tunes says, "Well of course, I am crazy, not stupid."
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