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Alright... THIS means WAR...!!!

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by Junkyard Dog 32, Oct 28, 2006.

  1. So... you guys know what a quiet, peace-loving individual I am, right...? :rolleyes:

    Well, when I come under personal attack I don't fool around. I get out the big guns...

    I'm fightin' mad and someone's gonna DIE... :mad:

    This morning I gassed up my chainsaw and put out a few hours in the woods. When I finished, I had a few hours of welding work in the shop. There I was, happily working along... I go to use my torch...
    Won't light... That's funny...:confused:
    Smells like... acetylene...!

    Friggin' VARMINTS...!!!

    All the cutsie Chipmunks and Squirrels that I let run around the shop... just 'cuz they're cute... have signed their own death warrant.

    So, I'm out of business 'til Monday, when I can drive 50 miles round trip to get new hoses... right...?
    Okay... so I'll go cut more wood...

    I got back to where I set my chainsaw... not even an hour earlier, and...


    Little bastard chewed up the spout on my gas can... :mad:
    I was right there... about 50 feet away...

    The 16ga. is loaded and leaning next to the door.
    You can run, but you can't hide... you little acorn eatin' so-n-so....


    Anyone else have homeland security issues with these destructive little terrorists...?

    I'm done...
    Fuck it... I'm killin' everything with 4 legs that stands less than a foot high.

  2. caddylakman
    Joined: Nov 22, 2004
    Posts: 333

    from USA

    holy shit.. I just fell off my chair. I'm sorry.. but that shit's funny. I'm sorry they tore up your stuff, that part sucks, but the photos and story had me goin for a while.


    btw.. poison some peanutbutter, lil fuggers can't get enough.
  3. these varmints should be easy to spot, just look for a miniature vw bus. it's obvious they're hippies, huffing acetelyne and gas!
  4. that squirrel looks NUTS...:D
    funny shit man!!!

  5. wyatt
    Joined: Aug 1, 2005
    Posts: 77


    poison them, watch em die slow
  6. zealot9802
    Joined: Aug 20, 2005
    Posts: 894

    from SoCal SFV

  7. No kiddin'...

    I saw this going on nextdoor and just knew it was gonna fuck-up the neighborhood...


    Joined: Apr 17, 2005
    Posts: 1,349

    from New york

    Maybe if you'd feed them they wouldn't be co inclined to chew up your shit[​IMG]
  9. LMAO. And I thought the mushroom people we terrible:eek:
  10. Greaseballs
    Joined: Apr 8, 2006
    Posts: 133


    When I married my wife, she came with a cat along with her pussy......

    The cat is well trained in guerilla warfare when it comes to fury four legged critters.
  11. 4tl8ford
    Joined: Sep 1, 2004
    Posts: 1,087

    from Erie, Pa

    I had to rewire my boat twice because of critters.
    I got some of those Primer Only .22's, I go out spread peanut butter on the Maple tree. Then I go inside sit in the bathroom a pick the little bastards off. Sometimes I'm too lazy for the peanut butter thing so I use a slingshot to launch peanuts at the tree.
    Dead Varmits is good.
  12. LUX BLUE
    Joined: May 23, 2005
    Posts: 4,407

    Alliance Vendor
    from AUSTIN,TX

    I would say make sure they are 10 to 12 feet away when you shoot them...little acetelene, little gasoline, little gunpowder--he could be a suicide bomber!

    itty bitty chunks of chipmunk all over you and everything near you.
  13. 'tis the season.
    They're stocking up on groceries.
    Put something out for them to eat and they'll leave your good stuff alone.
  14. What's your address?

    I'd like to ship you my wife's dog before you cool off.

  15. o shit!!!glad i didnt have anything in my mouth when i read that!!:D :D
  16. ratstar
    Joined: Feb 22, 2005
    Posts: 1,313


    I'm still laughing my ass off at this whole thread.
  17. johnnykck
    Joined: Dec 22, 2005
    Posts: 1,025


    After you shoot 'em try frying up their hind legs and have'em with scrambled egg's for breakfast. That's some good eat's, when I was a little kid we lived out in virginia and we had this for breakfast as often as we could, way better than bacon'n'eggs!!
  18. plymouth_man
    Joined: Feb 12, 2006
    Posts: 50

    from WI.

    What we use to do is take a 5 gallon plastic bucket and fill it about a quarter full of water and dish soap,place it where the clan is into your shit. cover the top of the water with sunflower seeds,put a board for them to climb up to the top of the bucket. they can't resist the sun flower seeds and will jump in and freak out that there is water under the seeds and try to get out but the soap will make it slippery and then they will drown from try to hard to get out. nice and quiet so the wife won't know. crule but effective
  19. MoePower
    Joined: Jul 12, 2004
    Posts: 205

    from Omro, WI

    I've got some steel-jaw traps at my parents place if you want to borrow them......kinda' messy but it might make you feel better when they're cut in half......

  21. Big Tony
    Joined: Mar 29, 2006
    Posts: 3,589

    Big Tony

    Man i feel your pain or atleast i will when i stop laughing and can catch my damn breath. All i can say is if your a furry f*cker lover then read another post and stay away form Junk Yard Dog 32 's place. I never been to Wiscossin but i would inlist if ya need the help... BUT again only after i catch my breath
  22. Call a truce and ask 'em if they know Russell.:D
  23. I would have questioned the validity of the pictures....but then I saw something in the picture, so I now believe it to be a true picture taken in upper Wisconsin. The guy in the background is wearing socks with his sandals....if we could see the rest of the picture he probable wearing robe and some sort of dead animal on his head and has a Leinenkugels beer in his hand ...... Louver Dude
  24. Derek Mitchell
    Joined: Nov 22, 2004
    Posts: 1,796

    Derek Mitchell

    Thats comin from Road RAT!!!!!

    He's one of them!!!!! Dont do it!!!!!!!

  25. 4tl8ford
    Joined: Sep 1, 2004
    Posts: 1,087

    from Erie, Pa

    Squirrl LEGS, Squirrl LEGS, I been lookin for GD Squirrl EGGS, Ain't nobody everheard of them.
  26. Oh no, why that's the blackus whiteus stripped chipmunk. It is an endangered species. Sorry but you are going to have to cease all activity on your property and not disturb a thing from here on out. In fact some protest group of the week will be there any day now.:eek: Gary 4T950 Chevy Guy (P.S. chipmunk aint half bad,taste like chicken)
  27. Cyclone Kevin
    Joined: Apr 15, 2002
    Posts: 4,071

    Cyclone Kevin
    Alliance Vendor

    OMG! LMAO!Too F*cking Funny! Lisa here thought I was viewing some kind of sick cyber sex! I have to deal with possoms here & fruit rats, they don't seem to like rust all that much & the cars seem to fairing well, besides that I send the cats out to patrol every few hours & every once in a while they bring a little gift to the door. The seem to just like their heads!
  28. SanDiegoJoe
    Joined: Apr 18, 2004
    Posts: 3,519


    [SIZE=-1]"I smell varmint poontang, and the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think."[/SIZE]

  29. Tony
    Joined: Dec 3, 2002
    Posts: 7,350


    CLASSIC post right here!
    Sorry for your torment from the tree rats..but man i got a good laugh from this!

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