Old Time Sayings? from the Hot Rod Garage

How bout from ol Henry himself,

You can have any color you want, as long as its black


And my gramps used to say,

I'm sweatin like a whore in a church



Dad says,

Tighter than a bullfrogs ass

Gotta piss like a race horse

Hornyer than a two peckered billy goat

 

Lookin at car damaged bad in accident. (Yea, it will rub out) or (Needs a little wrinkle remover)

 

Here's a few. I am so broke that if it cost a nickel to shit I would have to throw up.
She is so skinny she might slip through her asshole and choke herself!
More to come.

 

When I was a kid and was acting up my father would say, if you don't straighten up I am gonna slit your sack and run your leg through it!

 

Screwdriver if it needs adjusting,pliers if it needs rebuilding,hammer if it's hopeless. Been doin' so much with so little for so long now can do absolutly anything with positively nothing.

 

you can't make cheesecake outta horse shit.




AMF





fuck em if they can't take a joke

 

I've heard " a crossed thread is better then loc-tite any day "

My dad would say when I was in trouble. " I'll stomp a mud hole in your ass and walk it dry. BOY!"

 

"He has the I.Q. of an ice cube"

 

OH SHIT! That is also written on the bottom of my boat in 10" letters

 

I have told you a million times not to exagerate.

If you dont fuck a dog in the ass you want get dog shit on your dick.

When I die I hope people will say "that guy sure owed me alot of money"

So poor I cant even pay attention.

Busy as a long tailed tom cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Only for money or entertainment.

That boy is dumb as a bag of hammers.

She must be one of the lee sisters. Ugly, fugly and scrugly.

So stupid he couldnt pour piss out of a boot if the directions were on the heel.

I wouldnt say he has sucked a dick but hes been eye to eye with a few.

He told the truth once but lied his way out of it.

 

Good one. Sounds like dad was one of those new age touchy freely parents

 

Refering to someone close with a buck...

"Tighter than the nuts on a Packard"

"Tighter that two coats of paint"

 

Three quarter horse heads or cam!

 

If you can't dazzel em with your brillance baffel with em with your bullshit.

Rich'er than ten foot up a bulls ass.

 

that boy aint fire n on all eight cylinders. when pigs fly. the hell i am.

 

old timer body man told once...

"as long as its wavey smooth"
and when asking what guage sheetmetal to use on building a race car.

"02 thin"

 

My uncle once proclaimed the morning after a night of hard drinkin'.....

......"my head feels like a nickle mop"

 

It beats a stick in the eye!

 

"Busier than a long tailed cat in a room full of rockin chairs"

"Busier than a one legged man in an ass kickin contest"

"That thing will pull Hell of it's hinges"

"Tighten it till it smokes, and go 1/4 turn"

"If some is good, more is better"

Just a few from various influences in my life I wanted to share.

 

Two I used;

"I didn't build this sumbitch, I didn't buy this sumbitch, I didn't break this sumbitch, get the hell outa here and I just may fix this sumbitch...

In 40 years I never once found a car I couldn't fix,,,
did have a few customers run out of money on me though

 

as my grandpa said you can lie to everyone but the man in the mirror.

 

"He probably stinks on dry ice".
"He talks like a shit salesman with a mouth full of samples."

 

Another grandpa-ism. " She don't have enough ass to keep her pussy off the sheet."

 

It's a roller kan-ardly -- You roll it down one hill and it can hardley make it up the other

 

Don't force it, get a bigger hammer.

From Roger Barr on chasing classic cars when he gets an old engine back to live; "makes noise, smells bad, gets hot, leaks oil"

Gonna need the smoke wrench.

 

"That boy's a couple nuggets short of a happy meal."

 

My dear old friend Mike Hart would always say Two Steps Forward And One Back when working on those special projects. Heck still to this day I find myself experiencing that on many of those special projects.

 

"That car's soo ugly it could make a freight train take a dirt road"

 

"That car is sexier than socks on a rooster"

 

"You can polish a turd...but it gets messy"