Favorite one liners as told by gearheads

It was Jon Asher or Gray Baskerville that said "Tip the can and bump the mag and low E.T. is in the bag!"

 

my dad has many, but the two that stick out right now are;

"that things harder than a wedding dick" and;

"there is never enough time to do it right, but, there's always enough time to do it over"

 

FIAT

Fix It Again Tony

 

.....doin 90 miles an hour down a dead end road. Hank Snow

 

From the owner of an independent repair shop in my home town to his only employee: "Wayne, we've just been f'cked by the fickle finger of fate...

 

"you didn't build that!"................................lol

""you're as pretty as a beer truck backing into the driveway""

 

mopar........mostly old parts and rust

 

My Old Pig Ain't Running

 

"Never Lie, There's Less To Remember" Indian Larry

 

" You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning"-------Colin Casey!

 

"When you turn them upside down they all look like sisters" My Dad

 

When asked if he would like to test drive an Indy Car ?

“Are you kiddin’ me?”
“I wouldn’t get out of the electric chair to get in one of those things.”
Rusty Wallace

 

"I wouldn't shit ya' boy................I wouldn't shit ya'!!
Steve Smith

 

If you went to sleep and woke up thinking you could outrun me...you'd pickup a phone call me and apoligize! GB to RA! circa 1978

 

It'll stop on a dime, and give you nine cents change. From Nifty Nucome, a 1950's used car salesman.

 

Brave is the man who will fight with a sword or tackle ount Everest in snow,but the bravest of all ownes a 34 Ford and will try for 6000 in low....Bill aka Tnomoldw

 

Tooooo funny....long as twasn't me.....

 

Here are a few
There are two ways to skin a cat,from the Neak down or the asshole up....your choice.
(That's mine)
My buddy explaining his experience with a new customer I got. That guy is slicker than a cats pecker.
(Don codey)
When I get totally confused with a customers requests.
Dude it's your world and I am just living in it.
Stupid hurts.
(Ray plante)
My reply to a unrealalistic idea, Thats like giving a dead horse steroids.
My friends dads reply to something we as kids thought was a good idea at the time.
You kids could make a saint jerk off.
(Mr.sweeney)

 

As we work together all day long....I often have to remind the young bucks! "People actually pay to see comedy acts like this!.....We get it for Free!!!

 

Some quotes from the German ex-rallye champion Walter Röhrl:

"Acceleration is when the tears of emotion flow off horizontally to the ear."

"You can't treat a car like a human being, a car needs love."

"A car is only then sufficiently fast when you are afraid to unlock it in the morning."

"If you see the tree you're crashing into you have understeer. If you only hear it you have oversteer."

"Good drivers have the bugs on the side windows."

I kind of like them and hope to have translated them in a readable way...

Helge

 

"You can't polish a turd"

"Drive fast and slide the corners"

 

Words of wisdom from my old man:

Son you need to respect you'r welders .

We would have no use for him other than the fact he makes such a good bad example.

It's tighter than frog pussy, and thats water tight.

Be careful old man old bones break easy !
Be careful son old fuses are short fuses !

I can't believe you did that ! I can't believe you did that ! Yeah, I can believe you did that. (loud sigh)

75% of all men admit they play with it . 25% of all men are liars.

At 2 1/4 inches I would say that is plenty wide enough for any women.

 

" what'a ya got in that thing? (he asked)...Black & Decker D-51 " "B" movie line...a classic
my pops used to always say "you can't break it if it's already broke"

 

"why do I need to check it if there's no oil in it?" my buddy's girl friend....yesterday

 

"there's never enough time to fix it right but there's plenty of time to fix it again" Don Juan

 

From me Dad:
"F__king Ford, wouldn't pull a clucking hen off her nest!"

 

Trailers are for boats

 

"That thing wouldn't pull a sick whore off a toilet seat" Chris

 

Looks fast, Will it do 150 mph? Yea if ya drop it out of a bomber!

 

If brains were birdshit, the bottom of his cage is always clean !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!