Old Time Sayings? from the Hot Rod Garage

does a hobby horse have a wooden dick

 

noisier than two skeletons fightin on a metal roof

 

Old guy I hunt with..."That's like a chicken with rubber lips" No idea what he means but he laughs his ass off everytime he says it.

 

From my garage mechanic.

I don’t even care about my problems, why the fuck would I care about yours

 

When I was a young guy just starting to date, my Grandfather gave me some advise: "Son, if you keep your peter and your billfold both in your pants tonight, and you'll be better off tomorrow". I never was good at following advise.

Jim

 

My pops was an old farmer.

"quicker than shit thru a goose"

"If it don't fit get a bigger hammer"
after using the bigger hammer he would ALWAYS say
"see you just have to know how to talk to it"

 

"that's tighter than a gnat's ass stretched over a 55 gal. drum"

 

[QUOTE=The Hot Rod Grille;8572364]When I was a young guy just starting to date, my Grandfather gave me some advise: "Son, if you keep your peter and your billfold both in your pants tonight, and you'll be better off tomorrow". I never was good at following advise.

Jim[/QUOTE]

My grandpa had some dating advise too.

"When it comes to women, start off small because they always get bigger"

I think your grandpa was trying to warn you of this woman who says" just keep your dick hard, your mouth shut and your wallet open and we'll live happily ever after"
Now if you think on it a bit, very few women actually have condensed everything they think down to that sentence to speak it as such, very few. But everyone of them will explain that to you in the years to come.

 

This is boring .... I'm gonna make like a sheepherder and get the flock outta here.


..... unsubscribe! lol

 

Shinier than a wet dick in the moonlight

I cut it twice and it's still too short

More fucked up than a soup sandwich

 

Training isn't free.

 

"that fits like socks on a rooster"

"colder than a witch's tit"

 

colder then a well diggers ass

 

My Dad always used to say " slicker than a cat's ass on a sunday bucket" Not quite sure what a "sunday bucket" is but i'm guessing a new bucket used to milk the cow on sunday?

 

"I can fix anything from the crack of dawn to a broken heart."

RIP Boyce R.

 

My dad always used to say "He was going like a ruptured duck."

 

If you shoved your brain up a gnats ass, it would rattle around like a BB in a boxcar.

I wouldn't know that guy if he popped up in my soup.

 

My favorite quote from a builder...... "there's nothing we can't do with your money"

 

One of my favorites regarding tightening and torque values
" tighten it till it strips then back off half turn"

 

If... I told you once,..... then I've never mentioned it!

 

" Fucked up as a football bat"

" You're the one fucking this cat, I'm just the one holding the tail"

" He gets more ass than a toilet seat"

" Slower than cold molasses"

" Hornier than a 4 peckered billy goat"

" That thing is fatter than a 4 balled dog"

 

"A little putty and little paint makes the body man what he ain't."

"That thing runs like a scalded ass dog (or ape)!"

"Nasty Nurstane" (Nitro Methane)

Regarding a bad weld bead .... "Looks like a donkey's ass sewed shut with a grapevine."

 

A lot of horsepower is good, but too much is alright!

 

It's good enough for who it's for.

 

...if you turn up the radio a little more that funny sound disappears

 

As the old gent up the road used to say " your talkin like a kid with a paper asshole" He said this about anything he didn't agree with. I never really understood what he was talking about.

 

What you say to guys talking b/s, yea if a buzzard had a radio in his ass there would be music in the air

 

cum, bleed or blister some thing going to give
.
I'll be glad when you not young dumb and full of cum
.
Keep backing up until you can't afford any more.

You can stick a hoe handle up a nats as with Vaseline.

 

My favorite one came from someone on here. " Nothing holds like a good cross thread"

 

It was designed and built to last a lifetime.............till you got a hold of it