Old Time Sayings? from the Hot Rod Garage

Thought a thread on classic garage/life sayings might be a cool read. I'll start with my old mans favorite answer when asked what he was doing now on his old Hot Rod Ford? - he would always reply -

"Just making Chicken Soup out of Chicken Shit"

A saying all of us HAMBERS can relate to. Funny Dad's been gone now awhile and tonight when I spoke to my son on the phone I asked him what he was gonna be doing this weekend..................

 

" I'd rather owe it to ya rather than cheat ya out of it ! " or
"that noise goes away after it warms up !"

 

She'll be right with a salesmans turn out the country

 

when in doubt get a bigger hammer

 

It could be raining soup and I'd be stuck outside with a fork---or---slick'r than snot on a doorknob

 

If It Jams, Force It.....

If It Breaks, It Was Gonna Fail Anyway.


There's no such thing as being/having:

1-Too Rich

2-Too Handsome

3-Too Cool

4-Too Much Horsepower

5-Too Big a Pair (BOOBS or BALLS)

6-Too Big a Unit

 

if i fall off of a cliff, i hope i've got an air hose or extenion cord in my hands, because the damn thing will get hooked on something!

 

I cut it twice and it's still too short.

 

If I know'd I'd live this long I'd took better care of myself------2 people can keep a secret as long as one of thems dead---dumber than a box of nails---the early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese

 

My old man has a bunch! '
"she was finer than cat hair"
Quicker than a cat can lick its ass"
pullin more tail than a slow kid in a pettin zoo"
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"
a pair of lips will say anything"
She didnt get it into her head till she got it in the ass"
Higher than a girraffes pussy"
Just a few that i could remember.

 

" He's a bit of an odd guy. He makes up his own firing orders".

 

Don't antique the equipment kid.
That didn't make it any newer.
You won't break it till you hook it.

And so many more. RiP Pop

 

My buddy Ivan is in his 80s. Here's one of his.

"Why, you look confused as a bear cub in the woods tryin' to jack off with a pair of boxing gloves on."

 

"I hope yur writin' this shit down...I ain't gonna live forever!

 

You,re better off lookin at it,than lookin for it!

 

My father used to say

that he would rather hear valves clatter than smell 'em burning

 

"Couldn't drive a greasy stick up a dog's bum."

 

damn....I say that all the time!

If it don't fit...force it. If it breaks it needed replacin anyway.

 

"Shakin like a dog shittin peach pits!!""

 

Sure we need another thread -
Here's 600 plus of them
http://www.jalopyjournal.com/forum/showthread.php?t=92847&highlight=sayings

Here's 260 of them
http://www.jalopyjournal.com/forum/showthread.php?t=329083&highlight=sayings

Here's 390 of them
http://www.jalopyjournal.com/forum/showthread.php?t=398502&highlight=quotes

There's a bunch more threads too.

 

If it don't go... chrome it!

 

The more you try to make it look like what its not the more it looks like what it is!

 

I'd rather die for it, than die from it.

 

My grandad used to have a pretty simple one...

"GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!!"

 

Measure it with a micrometer, mark it with chalk and cut it with an axe.

 

"If it ain't broke don't loan it."

 

Better to shoot your gun off by accident than your mouth on purpose.

If you're goin' to act like a turd - go lay in the yard

 

Better to be judged a fool than speak up and remove all doubt.

Outta here faster than the fat kid in dodge ball.

Like stuffing a wet noodle up a wildcats ass.

 

"It probably just needs the points adjusted" << one of the old guys at the garage we hung around at when I was a kid used to say that. I still use that line for all sorts of unrelated household problems.

 

That boys nuttier than a squirrel turd

This car wouldnt pull a sick whore of a piss pot

Rattles like a bone in a gooses ass

Your ass'll be workin buttenholes