Many years ago I worked as a lineman.....yep...for the county. We were running a new line into a farmers property and smoko came around.One of the other guys (a bit of a clown) was boiling the billie and went over to look at a wrecked car all overgrown and ruined........next thing we hear is a loud ..sort of squawk....followed by a lot of cussing......yep,....he used his cigarette lighter to look down the gas tank neck.......man did he cop shit from us...no eyebrows...no more beard or moustache..and a real strange haircut. The 'bald in front, mullet at the back' look..... That guy gave us many laughs.
I hope he was fired for that shenanigans. I don't mind jokes at work but they must be harmless and not counterproductive.
"We were running a new line into a farmers property and smoko came around.One of the other guys (a bit of a clown) was boiling the billie" I have an Ebonics translator but it did not work on this.....is this some sort of Jive dialect?
i was working at a garage in the 70s and we had a dodge with a starting problem 2 of us were working on it while we also pumped gas first we checked for spark then my buddy pulled off the fuel line and was checking fuel pressure and delivery when he had to go pump gas then we got busy and we both were pumping gas when we got back in we forgot the plug was laying on the manifold still hooked to the plug wire he started cranking it when the fuel line shot gas onto the plug and wooosh the whole thing went up flames hit the ceiling we grabbed a fire extinguisher and put it out but the wireing was all burnt up and the extinguisher ruined the paint
^^ I had a similar accident, with the plugs out of a car and the cap off the distributor trying to figure out if it had jumped time. I was cranking it over and eventually the fuel vapor built up from the plugs being out to where a spark from the distributor set it off. I was never so glad to be on the other side of an engine. The customer was right there, and I think she was on the phone with her Dad before I got the fire out. It was almost comical, the floor sealant/grease was on fire under the car and kept flaming up ...
It's just the normal lingo(Language) for both NZ and Oz. What he is saying is: "They were placing a new power line to a farmers home when it became morning tea time. One of the other guy's who is a bit of an idiot was boiling the kettle." Doc.
had the ign coil lead hanging there after a headgasket swap , mistakenly left the fuel pipe loose , cranked her over and wooof luckily i had an extingusher and put the flames out , few burned wires and hoses and a good clean up sorted it out
I had painted a friends' fenders and gas tanks off his Harley a beautiful deep black. When the paint was dry, I put on the gas caps and proceded to lift the tanks by the caps. One let loose and hit the floor, putting a 50¢ sized dent next to the filler opening. Damn... had to redo that tank.
Reaching thru the grille on the Merc, trying to tighten the screws on the inside of the radiator mount...smell something burning...My left bicep is now firmly attached to my shop light bulb that I had taken the safety screen off to get it into the tight space so I could "see"...Still have a nice silver dollar shaped burn on the left upper arm. Sheesh...
Using a big breaker bar and socket to un do a very tight crank bolt, wedge in place and touch the starter having first disconected the ignition, so that the starter torque undoes the offending bolt. no such luck, the car lifts on the breaker bat like a pole vaulter and sets back down some 18 inches further forward. (o/t vauxhall). Idid manage to loosen it by hand afterwards.
I had a late 70s Chevy 4x4 the hood was broke in the middle like they all do previous owner took the hood springs off and had to use a stick to hold hood up anyway one day on the way home it started flooding so I leave it running pull one of the fuel bowl screws on a Holley to check fuel level and got to the last thread on screw and fuel came spraying out got on the plug wires guess one was jumping fire and up in flames it went I tried to get out knocked stick out and hood came down and knocked me down then my belt got hung on hood latch thought I was going to die under the hood of that truck it's funny when I tell the story but it sure as hell wasn't funny that day
You guys are all rookies. How about fucking up someone elses shit? Friend had a show quality Ford sedan painted w/ a mile deep finish of tangerine pearl. Body shop did a nice colorsand & buff but he wanted better. He asked me to bring over my stuff to make the paint like glass. I'm hard at it w/ a Makita VS buffer & I trip over his wife's little dog complete w/ leash attached. I fell against the car w/ the wheel going w/ wool pad- burned a nice 18" swath in the top edge of fender. That should have been bad enough. I continued to fall to the ground- all the while the buffer is banging agains't the paint. It was ugly. I had to pay to repaint several panels to blend. I insisted BTW. Funny- he had someone else colorsand & buff the rest of the car.
I found a rat hole under my garage foundation. I thought if I poured gas down the hole, I would burn the rat as he slept. So I lit the gas and it exploded in my face. Now I'm on fire. My face is burning my eye brows are gone, good thing I had glasses on. Out of the hole came to rat smoking. I grabbed a rake, with the handle down to pound the rat to death. As I jabed at the rat. the rake end hit me on the back of my head. To the hospital for 10 stiches. The rat got way. ONE MORE. Do you guys rememer some of the dumb ass thing we did as uts. Well here is one. We heard of a prank were these guys cought a bob cat, put it in a suet case,then left it on a corner in town looking for someone to pick it up. Well this sounded cool to us. So we lived in town with no bob cats but we did have ally cats. So we set a trap and come up with a big tom wilh great big nuts. One of our freinds got an old suit case, we finely got the cat into it. And off we went laughing or ass off. This was going to be a all time great stunt. We were in a 4dr 1937 Pontiac going down the road looking forward to seeing the guys that would pick up the suit case. All of a sudden the suit case came open and this f&^%%$g cat was pissen and shiting all over us. He run around the inside of the car landing on the drivers head. He lost controll of the car. We wen't across the road ran into a fence. I was unassing the car when we hit the fence, the door crushed me and I dislocated my collor bone. To the hospital I wen't along with the drive who had puncher wounds all over his head. We still laugh our ass off every time we tell this story. PS I don't know what happen to the cat.
Had a loading chain come loose on a brand new 350 crate engine as I was unloading out of the pickup. Dropped about 2 feet to the concrete, and dented the valve cover, scratched up the pan, etc. Happy ending: Put in resto rod and and has been running for 6 years now.... Two weeks ago I decided to splurge on a high dollar box joint blade set for my wood working hobby. Wouldnt you know it..First cut I made the brand new blades hit the only steel screw in the entire project....Now I have chipped carbide teeth.
HAAA! Smoko? Boiling the Billie? You fellas really do have your own language! For the life of me, I couldn't understand what the hell he was talking about. Thanks Doc.
My buddy thought it was funny to turn off the ignition for a few seconds while driving and in gear and then causing a loud bang when he turned it back on...he did it repeately, until he left it off a few seconds too long and blew the muffler all to heck.
Back when I was younger and lived in a very small town, it was not uncommon to burn brush in your back yard. I had an old 55 gallon drum full of small twigs and branches that had accumulated from the dozen or so trees on my lot. I decided to use a bunch of old dirty lacquer thinner to start things out right. Poured about half a gallon in and tossed in a match. It went off like a howitzer. I am instantly surrounded by falling flaming debris. I managed to not catch myself on fire somehow, but had a hundred small grass fires burning at once in the backyard. Alarmed by the loud detonation nearby, my neighbor looked out his back door, shook his head and went back in. He had gotten used to all sorts of dumbassery around my place years earlier.
Supposedly my Uncle picked up a '65? Belvedere cheap with a blown engine in high school. Then somehow he was able to beg, borrow, or steal a 426 Hemi which he then transplanted into the Belvedere by himself. Sounds cool except my uncle has always been a douche and his brothers (my Dad included) not only didn't help because of his douchey ways they chastised him the whole time. Uncle finally had his day...fired up the hemi and tore off down the driveway...where the Hemi promptly bombed and the brothers got the best laugh of their lives. Turns out you gotta put oil in it. Pretty much sums up all of his endeavors.
A late fall Sunday afternoon in our quiet city. I hook up my pontoon to pull down to the storage building. The safety chains are tight, it's a sharp corner to back it in the building, and it's only four blocks. . .so I don't hook them up. Two blocks from home I drive through a little dip in the road, and look over to see the pontoon in the passing lane. There is only one car parked on either side of the road for two blocks, it heads right for it and parks itself on top of the hood. It took only a matter of five minutes for me to be the main attraction, as spectators arrived in droves to drive by and gawk. I own the weekly newspaper, and everyone said they couldn't wait to see the picture in the paper. . .like THAT was going to happen.
Since I have an entire library of stupid things I have done I will start with the oldest one that I can recall. When I was in Junior High School (now they call it middle school for some reason) I got one of those smoke bomb fireworks that go off when attached to a spark plug wire. I thought that it would be fun to put it on my dads truck to see what would happen. Unfortunately my mom was the next person to start the truck. When she did the smoke bomb went off, gobs of yellow smoke came out from under the hood and there was a screeching sound from the firework. My mom said I wonder what that was? and drove off. It was a total waste of a perfectly good firework. Sometime later I was helping my dad work on the truck, the engine was running and we were both leaning under the hood. When dad saw the remains of the firework hanging off of the spark plug wire he said I wonder what that is? and reached for it. I cleverly claimed ignorance. When my dad got a hold of the firework wire on the spark plug it shocked him enough that his hand jerked back. When that happened he hit me right in the mouth. If that wasnt bad enough I then jerked my head back and smacked it into the underside of the hood. Somehow I still havent learned and have a tendency to do practical jokes; only now I stay out of range.
Just replaced brake pads on a car. Pushed the caliper pistons in, slid the pads in and bolted it all back together. Forgot to pump the brakes before putting it in reverse. About pushed the brake pedal through the floor till I stopped on a tire rack against a telephone pole right in front of the main street. This happened at a gas station in high school. Only damage was a pinch mark on the seat.
When I had a house out in the country, I had (one of many) parties in my back yard. After raining pretty well most of the previous week, we had a hard time getting any fire to keep going. A (now former) coworker decided to put it upon himself to 'fix' the situation. He went into my garage without my knowing, and drained my riding lawnmower of its gas into a plastic gas can. He then proceeds to walk back to the fire pit and POUR THE GASOLINE onto the still-glowing embers! Immediately, the embers ignite, travel up the gas to the plastic can and burn the can, still half full of fuel! He then tries to put out the flames by SHAKING the burning can!!?! After that only whips lit gasoline all over my lawn, he then gets scared and drop kicks the can across my lawn, pirouetting lit gasoline like a sparkler half way to my house. I calmly walked over to the still burning can and just put my hand on the flame and smothered it. Then we walked around putting out dozens of small fires around the grass. Why do so many of our stories involve fire?
1. Just spent hours replacing a window in the door and I was going to let the glue set overnight. I rolled the new glass up about half way and shut the door. I have not installed any of the rubber window sills yet and the glass hit the metal frame and shattered to pieces. 2. Just got a chevelle hot rod put together after years of working on it, drove it out on the street popped the hood to show the new engine then shut the hood to let them watch a pro do a burn out, somewhere between third gear and forth the hood flys up and shatters the windshield and I ran off into a ditch and hit a concrete curvert. I forgot to put the hood pins back in and they were the only thing that held the hood on.
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