Funniest lines from the parts counter

But what does the intake have to do with a water pump?

 

Ask anyone with an FE...
If that would be an issue with one intake, it has to be asked for all...

 

I have worked in the parts business as a driver, counterman, outside sales, and store manager at Napa and Carquest stores. I even worked at Autozone for 8 months.

The one thing that sucks about the parts business is that it may be the only retail-type of store that people walk in a bit upset to begin with. Most retail stores people want to be there (unless your wife drug you in there). But in the parts business, people are mad because their car is broken, it's hot outside, they have had to get greasy, and God-forbid, maybe a part you sold them failed. It takes a lot of patience to deal with some people in those instances.

The one thing I can say is: the attitude that you give me will be directly related to level of customer service you receive. You walk in with a good attitude, I will stop at NOTHING to get you the right part. I was the guy in our community that everyone came to for the hard-to-find parts for their 8N tractors, their heavy duty air-brake systems, and their HAMB-worthy cars (One guy was restoring a Hupmobile). For the guys with good attitudes, I never let them down. Heck, I would send a guy to a competitor if it was significantly cheaper somewhere else, and I couldn't match the price. Most times, the customer would say "Just do what you can" and buy it from me.

But, if you are the guy who has a chip on his shoulder to begin with, I don't want your money. Those types of people were never satisfied. I have a decent knowledge of parts and vehicles, so most things were within my scope. Bad attitudes + outside my scope = you are out of luck.

That all being said, I wasn't always that guy. It was guys like you that helped me. When I asked the stupid questions that the computer wanted me to ask, they would laugh at me, AND THEN EXPLAIN WHY IT WAS A STUPID QUESTION. I wasnt afraid of asking a dumb question, because that is how I learned. I was pretty green at the beginning, and would have stayed green or left the business if it wasn't for the help of some really cool guys that took the time to help me, because in the long run, it helped them too. They ended up getting good service, and even some shop discounts on things.

Take some time to help the younger guys. It's worth it.

 

Isn't that the truth!

 

yup; battery cable ends. i notice you're from Florida.... this must be a Southeast "rural" kind of thing..... like asking for "taps" when they mean nuts and bolts.

i found myself doing that "old parts guy" trick the other day... none of our catalogs correctly listed a rear axle repair bearing, that i happened to know from way back when...
and i got shitting the other day when i found out that in our entire network of stores we have ONE sixties Chrysler voltage regulator. WTF?

had a guy come in asking for a Mazda starter solenoid, which i could get in a couple of hours for XX dollars.... then checked a little farther and found we HAD a starter, complete, lifetime warranty, for twenty bucks more....
he left with a new starter. gotta give him props for only wanting to replace what was bad, but since he had the starter off already....

i'm finding that a LOT of what we'd consider "everyday" parts are quickly disappearing from the catalogs. no, or very little, demand, and they dry up...... or become too much hassle to keep on the books for the limited return on investment.
carbs and carb kits are FAST becoming either too expensive to carry or too much trouble.... nobody seems to have the correct tag ID for them when they order them, so our buyers cut back severely on what we carry.

even rear main seals for SBC's (outside of kits) are hard to find.

and the other guys on the counter send ALL the old/weird shit MY way now....

 

X2.
Being in the customer end of the printing business I can relate.

 

i've got another quirk that pays off.... if i can't find something in a reasonable time, and i KNOW i should be able to, i tell the customer that i'll get back to them (phone customers, mostly, but at-the-counter as well) when i DO have an answer... when things get slow, i grab that particular problem and bulldog the shit out of it, find the answer, and give that guy a call. nine outta ten, he's STILL been trying to find it and damn glad to hear from me. see; it's not just HIS problem; it's not just MY problem.... it's the whole damn store network's problem that i have a customer i can't satisfy. so i can call on literally HUNDREDS of other counter guys to get an answer..... ONE of us HAS to know!

 

Here is my contribution from this weekend. My buddy calls me up to fix a hot re-start problem on his '69 Chrysler Newport. I trace it to an intermittent/ weak spark. the coil, cap, rotor, wires, and plugs were new. (owner replaced them to fix the hot re-start problem) So I pull the module from the fire wall to test it, and see the potting compound melting from back. So off to the parts store we go. I give the guy all the info, I'm in a good mood (I'm out playing with cars and not at work and somebody else is paying the bill) The guy fights with me that it has points, not disagreed with me, he FOUGHT with me on this. What ever. Head over to the little place a few miles further down the road, $30 bucks and we spent the rest of the day driving around in the Newport with the top down. What a way to spend the afternoon. Keith

 

Did you use to live in Pa. in the seventies? I think you waited on me!! He was tenacious and was pissed he could not find the part(took my number and called the next day with the part) AAA+++ Pete

 

I have one from a little while back- I popped into my local chain autoparts store to pick up some rattlecan primer and some other miscellaneous bodywork expendables. The lad behind the counter- perhaps 20 years young, asked me what I was working on. We swapped car stories and he pointed me to his o/t truck in the lot that he's finishing the body work on. He tells me he knocked out a few dents in the roof. He asked me what I use to wipe down the surface before I paint, and I said "wax and grease remover". He tried using acetone, but the paint wouldn't adhere. He asked me what wax and grease remover was, and I walked over to the shelf and showed him.

Lots of you would say "whaddanijit" to something like that. I don't. When so many "customers" have that kind of attitude, I appreciate the kid that's not afraid to ask a question, no matter how simple it is.

There was another thread about how hot rodders are a dying breed. I think the reason for that is so many of us are assholes to the youngins.

These parts counter guys are doing I job I don't want, couldn't do, and for money I couldn't live on. So credit is due.

 

I agree, I have always wondered why people think being an asshole makes them cool... it just makes them an asshole, and essentially useless.

 

He would have been right, that car would have had points until someone converted it to electronic.

Now the fact that he fought with you about it would be an annoyance for sure, he should have given you what you wanted whether it was right or wrong because that is what you asked for.

To me, it sounds like you didn't know that car didn't originally have electronic ignition, and if you did know, you should have told him that it had been converted. Chrysler first used electronic ignition in 1972, although a few late '71's may have got it.

 

Not so much the parts counter thing, i'm a mechanic and i laugh when you get a customer tell you" i pulled the dipstick and there is NO oil in my car" you then have to explain the dipstick only measures the top litre/quart of oil in the sump, it dosent dip right to the bottom of the sump and that they still probably have 2/3 rds or more of their oil left, if you had no oil you probably would have siezed your engine before you got here.

 

Me: I need a bolt for this.

Parts guy: How long do you need it?

Me: I need it forever.

 

Perhaps a more accurate statement would be "There is very little oil....."
Case in point: A friend of my wife stopped by in her well-abused Mazda pickup and I noticed that the lifters were really rattling. After it sat for about a half-hour, I pulled the dipstick ... nothing showing. I poured 4 quarts of oil in it and the level was still not up to the full mark (and yes, it was the correct dipstick for the engine) but the lifters stopped banging.

 

we don't do the "add-on" thing.... you know, when you're at the register and they ask you if you want some battery washers or tiny packets of hand cleaner to go with your starter or alternator.....

you don't ask for it, we don't force it on you. now, we DO strongly suggest getting a new orifice tube and drier when you replace an A/C compressor.
we listen to everything the customer tells us.... and very often we laugh our asses off after he leaves.
and catalogs today are no match for what they used to be.... very often, the paper catalogs don't give ALL the possible applications for a given part, or simply lump a whole line of cars together. the e-catalogs are no better and often WORSE, as very few go back farther than '66...

 

In this era of full government disclosure I must redact some or all of my last post. It has been brought to my attention that in 1969, the Newport convert in question SHOULD have had a points type ignition. I ASSUMED it had the electronic as it has what looked to be factory mounting locations and I saw no evidence of splicing on the wiring. The old module was marked Chrysler. So unless what I have been told, and what I've looked up on my own is incorrect. I am wrong. Keith

 

Not from the parts counter problem but bad :
Attempting to get my 1981 CJ 7 smoged the tech told me he would turn me into the state for smog fraud because a Jeep is not an American Motors car and the logo above the tail light was off some other car.

 

Oh, man... I would have had FUN with that. I would have invited him to do so. I would have BEGGED him to. Just to see the look on his face when the inspector told him he was a fuckin' moron, learn his shit, and to quit wasting the time of state officials.

 

Counter: Studebaker? Who makes that?
Me: Studebaker did.
Counter: division of Ford or GM?
Me: division of Studebaker.
Counter: are you making stuff up?

 

Went into the box store yesterday to get tune-up stuff for my O/T daily driver.
I already had the part #'s written out on some paper.

Counter guy rounds up all the parts then says "Guys like you make the best customers"

 

This is funny. Parts guys tell stories about the dumb customers who don't have a clue about what they drive or what they need. A lot of them consider themselves to be hot rodders. Just depends on which side of the counter you're standing on.
Them: I need a motor mount for a small block Chevy.
Me: What year?
Them:Small block Chevy! They're all the same.
Me: Really I didn't know that. What is it in?
Them: A Model A but it doesn't matter all Model A,s are the same too.
Me: Oh, I didn't know that either. This should be easy. Left or right?
Them: Right, driver's side.
Me: OK. Here ya go. That'll be $13.80. You going to install it your self.
Them: Yep, I built the whole thing.
Me: It looks like it.

 

Went to pick up a rear main seal the other day for a 289. Went like this:

Me: I need a rear main seal for a 65 Fairlane - 289
Him: A rear what?
Me(talking slower): A REAR MAIN SEAL
Him(looking at his computer for a while): I don't think we have those
Me(after looking at the screen and noticing he was looking under suspension parts): Try looking under crank seal. Its an engine part

He finally turned his screen around and I walked him through to the part. Then he said it was special order and was going to charge me $12 shipping to get it there. I told him I'd order it from Summit myself.

Really? A rear main seal? Luckily I usually have pretty good luck at the parts store. The local bike shop is another story. If its not a dirtbike or crotch rocket made in the last 12 months, those kids don't have a clue.

 

I love dealing with the boss at the parts jobber here, quick and efficient. They are called Hamilton Discount auto, but they get good name brand parts too. One guy that works there is a bit of a tool and doesnt want to look for shit, but with the boss its one second, done paid and out the door.

 

Yes, that 69 would have had points and not electronic ignition when it rolled off the assembly line.

It's a real common swap for pre-electronic ignition Mopars. Chrysler sells kits and it's not unusual to grab a wiring harness/distributor/module from a later car and change from points to electronic ignition and have the install look factory. Done it myself a time or two. I think if you took a poll, most sixties Mopars have had the conversion done.

If (big if) the counter guy was real familiar with late sixties Chrysler products, they might have picked up on the car having the conversion, but that's asking a lot. Still no excuse for an argument or attitude about it.

 

I am so lucky to have a 3rd generation independent Mom and Pop's parts store here. They know more about parts than I do. They still rebuild starters and alternators and will spend time trying to find all the oddball crap I usually need. I would probably have quit working on cars by now if I had to rely on the big chain parts stores...

 

I'm only 23, but learned a long time ago that youre best off just looking up the part number ahead of time. You're pretty much guaranteed to get an idiot almost anywhere you go, so take them out of the equation.

 

i walked into my local parts store that i know everyone at but this new guy. i lay a motorcycle battery on the counter and say "i know you do not have this in stock will you look up this part number of this battery and see when you can get me one"
his comment "what does it fit"
me: "it fits a motorcycle, just look up this part number on the battery (pointing to it)"
him: "what does it fit" this whole time he is working in a car auto parts store that has no way of looking up motorcycle parts in his system.
me: grab your battery book and lets cross reference the part number together
him: gets the book and opens it to audi in the book and says what year was it again???
me: get my spark plugs and i will order it tomorrow from your manager (this was a sunday)

 

Yup, I've heard that from the O'Reilly's guy that I usually deal with. I love the local store!

One good thing about web sites and the Interwebs is that doing exactly that is a lot easier that it was 20 years ago.

 

i walked into autozone here in mira loma ca which is a very non english speaking town when it comes to auto parts
me) can i get a short small block chevy water pump for a 72 el camino.

lady replies) no you have to go to home depot or lowes for a water pump

Me) no i need a water pump for a chevy like a truck

lady) sr i already told you we do not have anything that will pump water here

me) can i please speak to your manager i know you have it here im not stupid

manager comes up) yes sr is there a problem

Me) i just need a damn sbc water pump please your lady working the counter said you dont sell them here

managers face was priceless!!!!!!!!!

manager asked short or long didnt even look it up and then got it

manager then looks at the lady and says you really dont know what a water pump is

lady) no i thought he wanted something for a pool

manager) sorry but you have to go your fired you have been here way to long to not know what a water pump is

i felt kinda bad but come on you work at a auto parts store and you couldnt even understand the words chevy or el camino.