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Funniest lines from the parts counter

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by 59Apachegail, May 13, 2012.

  1. LN7 NUT
    Joined: Sep 9, 2010
    Posts: 2,165

    LN7 NUT
    Member

    I had this feeling, that if anyone would give a good reply to that, it would be you! :D
    Haiku's are easy,
    But sometimes they don't make sense,
    Refrigerator.




    So so true, we seem to get some reasonable people in the thread, and then all of a sudden there is yet another story where to poster feels they are in the right for asking for a part for a car that never came with that part and expecting that with no other information provided they should just be handed the part...


    This seems to be real problem the last 6 or 7 years or so, I have gone through Canadian Tires entire supply of starters for a 302 in an afternoon because not a single one works... and now on top of that, I can't get over the counter alternators that are 100amp or more, anything I find lately is really really low, like 37amp for a 70's Chev, and 65 For a 90's Ford... none of the parts places can do any better then that out here anymore, so now I have to get mine custom built.
     
  2. billsill45
    Joined: Jul 15, 2009
    Posts: 784

    billsill45
    Member
    from SoCal

    Once upon a time, this is what an auto parts store looked like....
     

    Attached Files:

  3. RagtopBuick66
    Joined: Dec 12, 2011
    Posts: 1,180

    RagtopBuick66
    Member

    I just got a chubby...
     
  4. GearRat
    Joined: Feb 19, 2012
    Posts: 41

    GearRat
    Member

    Me: I wanted to find out if you all carry an engine gasket set for my car?

    PS: Sure, what kind of car?

    Me: It's a 1952 Packard 200 Deluxe.

    PS: And who makes that Packard?

    Me: Uh... Packard

    PS: Oh...okay, Only thing I can find is a windshield wiper.

    Me: Okay, thank you for your time
     
  5. HotRodToomer
    Joined: Jun 25, 2006
    Posts: 857

    HotRodToomer
    Member

    Now being a counter worker myself, ive heard some stuff as well.
    (But at least i have a mechanical backround to at least know SOMETHING)

    Customer came in with a number for a battery he wanted. brought it out and didnt like the fact it was both top post & side terminal, (He was told the number was for a side only by a friend, due to top post batt's hit his hood & spark), so I look up and find a battery that matched dimentions, CCA & neg/pos placement, difference in price was $20. to which he said.

    "For that much more i'd rather chop the top posts off with a hacksaw!"

    I shit you not, he also bough a saw blade along with the battery and left.
     
  6. Shane Spencer
    Joined: Oct 3, 2009
    Posts: 2,160

    Shane Spencer
    Member

    I lovee these threads. The y block thing is hilarious to me. I had my 54 Ford with The 239 y. Went in for some carb cleaner. Told The Parts guy i just bought a 54 Ford. He went on to tell me he was a Ford freak, a real blue oval encyclopedia. He asked what motor and i told him it was The 239. He had no fuckin clue what a y block was. I mentioned i was thinking about swapping to a 351 windsor and he told me i was thinking about a 350 small block not a 351. Sure dude. Mr blue oval
     
  7. hotrod0317
    Joined: Jan 8, 2011
    Posts: 75

    hotrod0317
    Member

    I stopped going to autozone about 4 years ago I had just moved to California from Washington state so I did not know anyone. I went to AZ and asked for a water pump for my daily driver a 92 dodge dakota 3.9 v6 4x4 manual trans. They got the part in and I went to put it on turns out that the water pump was not correct you could not bolt the pulley back on to the pump no threads.

    So I walked back almost 2 miles from where I was staying I asked them for helicoils to fix the problem they said they did not carry them in the store. They suggested I buy longer bolts and nuts and put it on that way so I handed them the parts and asked how they would do it with no clearance to ge to the back to put nuts on. So they orded another water pump so I walked home. I walked back there the next day still the same problem so I returned it and got my money back I walked to Oreillys and they had the correct pump on the shelf and they offered me a ride to where I was staying.

    Now I only go to oreillys or Napa especially since I got a bricklin and the parts guy at Napa I went in looking for an oil filter and he asked so I said the normal it wont be in the computer or you wont know what it is song and dance. He finally got me to say Bricklin and he actually knew what they were and asked why I would want to torture myself like that. Pretty nice guys at Napa and fairly knowledgable Ive stumped them a few times with random car stuff but I have learned if it is an odd car to try to find a cross reference and have always had good results.
     
  8. vtx1800
    Joined: Oct 4, 2009
    Posts: 1,709

    vtx1800
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    I've had good luck at NAPA both in Atlantic Iowa where I lived for over 30 years and the NAPA store in Council Bluffs Iowa, the Atlantic store had seasoned staff (it was locally owned) while the CB store was part of a chain, still, for the most part good employees. My story relates to an auto parts store much closer to me than the NAPA store and it is owned by a local guy that needs a little training in customer relations. I needed a wheel bearing for a two axle H & H trailer that was manufactured about an hour from CB. I took the bearing in, laid it on the counter, told him it was a 3500 lb axle bearing, he looked it over and over his shoulder to some young buck says it's a POS such and such number. Thought he was pretty funny. Evidently thought I was a rube and didn't know what he was talking about. He did find the bearing, and that was the last time I bought anything there. I drive right by him and drive a few miles to NAPA.
     
  9. DocWatson
    Joined: Mar 24, 2006
    Posts: 10,273

    DocWatson
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    Parts store? But where are all the air fresheners and seat covers, not to mention there is not one bottle of 'super bobs car wash and polish',........... Parts place indeed!:rolleyes:;)

    Doc.
     
  10. RagtopBuick66
    Joined: Dec 12, 2011
    Posts: 1,180

    RagtopBuick66
    Member

    Yeah, you try buying a seat cover for a front bench seat ANYWHERE lately? You won't even find that on the shelf at AA, AZ, or ANY of 'em unless it has a "Realtree" print on it. A million cheesy bucket covers with everything from Sponge Bob to Tweety Bird to "look at me, I'm a race car driver" tuner type covers, but for Christ's sake, I just want something to fit a '53 Two-Ten bench so I can drive it!
     
  11. johnod
    Joined: Aug 18, 2009
    Posts: 799

    johnod
    Member

    Well this isn't funny, I find it kind of scary,I made 2 trips to the GM dealer in the last 2 days.

    Day one- Having read this thread I asked for trans fluid for a 97 camaro with a T56 manual trans, I was given manual trans oil. A T56 uses auto trans fluid,that would have killed my tranny, luckily i know this, what about the next guy?

    Day two - Asked for a timing cover gasket for a sbc 1987. I was asked if it was for a truck and was it a 305 or a 350. Remember this is the dealer. In the end they didn't have it anyway.

    I'm not getting a feeling of confidence from these guys.

    Went to Napa and they had what i needed.
     
  12. truck
    Joined: Feb 24, 2009
    Posts: 116

    truck
    Member
    from Brisbane

    When I went into the local parts place and one parts guys had a clay smith woodpecker tattoo and the other had a '55 chevrolet tattoo I knew I was in the right place. even the owner is a drag racer, all the guys.use the books more than the computers, but mostly they just know what I need and where it is. ( autobahn lawnton for the brissie locals)
     
  13. Beetleman
    Joined: Aug 29, 2010
    Posts: 2

    Beetleman
    Member
    from Ontario

    Reminds me of when I went for a relay for my lawn tractor.
    "We don't sell lawntractor parts"
    Me: How about a ford starter relay?
    What year ford?
    Me: Ahhh, 1978
    "what model"
    Me: Mustang
    What size engine?
    Me: Grrrrrrrr
     
  14. choppernick
    Joined: Jan 29, 2010
    Posts: 13

    choppernick
    Member
    from humble tx

    This is what the parts guy at Harley Davidson said to me:

    Me: I need to get a petcock filter.
    Them: Sir, can you tell me what and where a petcock is?
    Me: Really?!! You have got to be messing with me right?
     
  15. HambBurglar
    Joined: Feb 22, 2011
    Posts: 35

    HambBurglar
    Member
    from Cincinnati

    From many years ago.....

    Customer walks up to the counter and says "I need a stud". I pointed down the counter to my coworker and said " You can talk to Dwight down there, but I don't swing that way".

    Lady came in for some GOJO hand cleaner to get concrete off her cat.

    When selling spark plugs and an ignition kit with points, plugs and rotor we would write down the plug gap on the back of the box and the and the point gap and dwell setting on the tune up kit. Can't believe how many customers wanted to know if the points were preset. I'dl just say, "is anyone helping you install those?"

    Customers were all generally all referred to as "Goobers". That far predated my start back in '84. I think it was a Goober Pyle correlation. Always sounded funny, though.
     
  16. pwschuh
    Joined: Oct 27, 2008
    Posts: 2,827

    pwschuh
    ALLIANCE MEMBER


    Who?

    Only Pyle I know was named Gomer.
     


  17. Goober had the filling station, Gomer was in the Marines. But what about Floyd the barber...:)
     
  18. jefscoupe
    Joined: Apr 19, 2006
    Posts: 294

    jefscoupe
    Member

    I had finally found a great parts man at a local NAPA.
    Right on my way home from work.
    He found several parts I needed for the 55.
    Had a 50 Ford mild custom he drove to work every day.
    After a couple months, he gets "promoted" and moved across
    town. There are a mess of NAPA stores in Memphis and the "new"
    guy didn't know which.
    Bummer, I liked to stop and just chat sometimes.

    Another story. Not a parts counter, but a hotel counter at a car show I was attending.
    The guy, at first, seemed to know about cars.
    Said he had a 67 Chevelle convertable project.
    He talked a little about what he was going to do to it and
    mentioned he even had the original Winsor engine for it.
    "yeah? Cool. Well, gotta go."

    I think the term "goober" predates even Goober Pyle.
    Peanuts have been called goobers for decades.
    A "goober" (refering to a person) would be a peanut brain.
     
    Last edited: May 30, 2012
  19. slim tempo
    Joined: Sep 16, 2010
    Posts: 412

    slim tempo
    Member

  20. Old-Soul
    Joined: Jun 16, 2007
    Posts: 3,774

    Old-Soul
    Member

    Well, as a parts tech myself (we service natural gas compression packages), it really drives me nuts when I get poor service at parts stores.

    I usually stick to Auto Value here in town, as the counter people there have always given me good service and make the effort to provide what I need. Last night however, I walked in there to get some front shocks for my '49. I got some ya-hoo I've never talked to before. I tell him wha I need, and how I've lowered the car, so I would like to look @ his monroe book (it was busy, so I was ok looking it up myself so I wasn't slowing him down any) and he informed me the only way to order shocks was by the specific application, that there were no measurment guides in the book (a lie, I've used that exact book in that store before). Lazy jerk. Oh well, I'll go back today @ lunch when the usual lady I work with is there.
     
  21. RagtopBuick66
    Joined: Dec 12, 2011
    Posts: 1,180

    RagtopBuick66
    Member

    You sure she wasn't just trying to save herself the embarrassment of asking for something to remove the hard crusty stuff from her pussy? :D
     
  22. Jamoke
    Joined: Sep 1, 2011
    Posts: 716

    Jamoke
    Member

    We dont use adjustable proportional valves there are for racing only ...
     
  23. Wow! You guys are still at it! I left this thread weeks ago, and you are still at it!
    Must be a lot of angst to let off.
     
  24. handmedown40limited
    Joined: Mar 28, 2011
    Posts: 204

    handmedown40limited
    Member
    from tracy ca

    No funny stories but about 4 years ago there was/is a parts store ion modesto ca that was also a sporting store. You walk down an isle and the left side was auto parts and the right was hunting and fisgin supplies. Behind the counter was speed equipment and ammo.
     
  25. Goober was his brother and replaced Gomer at Wally's Fillin' Station in '65 when Gomer joined the Marines.

    Floyd was a real cutup and Denver Pyle was Uncle Jesse Duke, but that's a different story :D None of them worked at a parts store that I know of.
     
  26. manyolcars
    Joined: Mar 30, 2001
    Posts: 9,176

    manyolcars

    you do know that you can look at Monroes pdf from the comfort of your home computer, right?
     
  27. 26Troadster
    Joined: Nov 20, 2010
    Posts: 787

    26Troadster
    Member

    i love to mess with the parts people. i have a 63 chevy truck with a 350 buick in it, and a o/t 88 s15 jimmy with a 305 700r4, i let them look for awhile.
     
  28. Back in the 70's and 80's there used to be a grouchy old SOB that ran his own auto parts store in a town nearby. I would guess that Henry had probaby run that store for 40 or 50 years. I knew guys that were actually afraid to go into the store because he was so unfriendly.

    After a few times of going in there I finally figured Henry out. The "grouchy old bastard" was just a persona that he used, but in fact he was always knowledeable and helpful...he just wasn't friendly.

    The typical conversation would go like this:

    Henry: "What do you need?"
    Me: "I need one of these" [I put a part from a '34 Chevy Motor on the counter]
    Henry: [big sigh] "You probably won't find that anywhere" [he picks up the part and shuffles in the back, grumbling]
    Me: "What did you find?"
    Henry: [doesn't say anything, just throws the new part on the counter] "Anything else?"

    I could swear that a couple of times I almost caught old Henry trying to hide a grin. The funny thing is, if he didn't have the part, he would let out a big sigh (as if I were more trouble than I was worth) and then get on the phone and call every parts house around until he found what I needed. I miss old Henry. Now THERE was a parts man. May he RIP.
     
    Last edited: May 30, 2012
  29. Old-Soul
    Joined: Jun 16, 2007
    Posts: 3,774

    Old-Soul
    Member


    Well, I didn't...but now I do.

    And in todays world (what with this interwebs and all) I guess it would make sense.

    Thanks for making me feel like an idiot. :rolleyes:
     
  30. Energy
    Joined: Jan 30, 2010
    Posts: 156

    Energy
    Member

    Clerk: Can I have you phone number please?

    me: 6

    clerk: :eek: (with a puzzled look on his face) no, your phone number.

    me: 6

    clerk: How can your phone number be 6? it's supposed to be 7 numbers!

    me: Well, I never call myself, so I called my best friend to find out what my phone number was. He said "on my phone, it's 6". So it must be 6, cause he wouldn't lie to me, he's my friend!

    :D :rolleyes:
     

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