Funniest lines from the parts counter

Me "I'd like an oil filter for my Yugo..."

Them "Well alright, but it had better be running and I still think you're getting the better side of the deal".

 

We are lucky to have a guy here at O'Reilly's that really knows his shit---but some of these counter people around here ought to sell lemonade or something. Lowballing a counter guy just to get a warm body is stupid---bad business will lead to no business.

 

OUTSTANDING! That means it should be pretty reasonably priced, too! I mean, in '55 you could get a whole car right off the assembly line for less than a set of tires costs today, right..?

 

My pleasure.

The Conroe, TX Napa also has a machine shop in the back. It's an old-school parts house. If you're in the area and need parts, it's worth the drive.

Also....I gotta brag on the manager there. I was in there about a month ago and had just bought a fitting and was getting in my car in the parking lot when I was approached by a bum wanting some money.

The manager came flying out the front door and verbally laid into the bum, telling him to get the #$%@ off of his property and to leave his customers alone or he was gonna call the cops.

I haven't witnessed that kinda balls in a long time. It's something that you used to see back 30 years ago, and it was refreshing to see people who REALLY care about their business and their customer.

I won't buy car parts anywhere else, unless that Napa just doesn't have it.

 

I wish store owners were like this in California. Seems every place I go i'm getting asked from money. I gotta eat too! Plus it just makes the whole area look bad.

 

I don't have a problem with what the counter guys don't know. I think a lot of people assume that because someone works in a parts store, they should know everything about all cars.

What I have a problem with is the ones who think they do and give out bad info. I did overhear one of the kids working in Autozone that you can gain 35RWHP on a Honda Civic by just adding a sh*tcan muffler with a big chrome tip. Learn something new everyday.

 

Some of those guys (if they are still there) came from NAPA a looong tome ago.

 

This thread keeps getting better and better!!!

 

Me: I need an idler arm for a 77 Cadillac.
Parts guy, looking in the book: 77 Cadillacs don't have idler arms sir, you need to understand steering linkages.
Me: Let me see the book. ( he slides the book over to me and I point out the listing)
Parts guy: Oh, that idler arm
Me: If I shoved it up your ass you'd know what it was!


The local NAPA guys know their stuff and there's an actual machne shop in the same building! (although I asked once at the machine shop about grinding a crank and they said "we send them out" ! )

 

Bob-I need brakes for a 49 Mercury
AZ Dude-two-wheel drive or four?
Bob-Uh....two!
AZ Dude-engine?
Bob-400 Ford
AZ Dude-You mean,400 Chevy!
Bob-NO! Ford...
AZ Dude-They don't make a 400 Ford
Bob-nevermind...look up 351 Cleveland
AZ Dude-You Mean Winsor
Bob-NO! Cleveland!!!
AZ Dude-How many cylinders?
Bob-FUCK!!!! Nevermind!!!!
I hate when mt buddy isn't working......hahaha

 

Yep...good store. The one in Montgomery is good too...always breaking out the parts books for me and looking stuff up.

 

I went to my local parts store today and asked for a root beer and a cheese burger, and those idiots couldn't provide...

So I asked if they could teach me about quantum physics but only in a haiku... they just stared at me... I guess they just hire people off of the streets who know nothing.

 

OH man, that's funny!!

 

Son worked at parts store over in the next town, a guy came in and asked for "starter for green chebby"

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2

 

somebody got a link to "The Parts Man's Lament"? my first store manager could recite it from memory....

what we parts guys need is a "dumbass-to-normal speech" converter at the counter.... so when guys come in and ask for "brakes rotaries" and "cadillac converters", we can quickly convert that to "disc brake rotor" and "catalytic converter"... or any number of mis-named, mispronounced or completely wrong names given for parts.

these days, it's a normal Chevy 1500 guy looking for god damn BRAKE parts that will send you fucking nuts. why in the HELL Chevy couldn't use ONE fucking design model-wide, i can't tell you... goddamn engineers. for fifty years they used ONE style.... now they use fifty styles in one year... or, at least it seems that way if you don't have the J-code for the brakes.

 

Years ago I went in to buy a belt for a Thunderbird... Reply from the counter: Is that a Ford Thunderbird?Me: No, an Air force Thunderbird!

 

You want fries with that ?

 

Very well, lets begin:

Quantum Mechanics
action is of planck constant
Acting on matter


Hope that helps.

 

Went in to Oreilly's here the other day. I asked for a set of spark plugs for a customer's 2000 Grand Prix. He asked what kind I wanted so I told him AC Delco. He looks at his computer with a blank stare and then tells me, "We don't carry AC Delco for that car. We have NGK, Bosch, Autolite, or Champion. Which ones do you want?" I told him any OE replacement will be fine. He keeps looking at the computer and then says, "The only OE replacements we have are ack-delco's (pronounced like it looks, not A-C-Delco)." I just started laughing and told him those would have to suffice. The Oreilly's here only requires you have a pulse to work there. And sometimes I even question that. They have absolutely no clue when it comes to parts.

 

I've never worked behind the counter. Can't say I'd want to put up with all of the crap you guys throw at them.

You're all falling into three catagories.

1) Folks who understand that the guys behind the counter can't possibly know everything. So you don't tell them you need a whatsit for a 37 Henway when in reality the part came off of a 70's camaro. You ask for the donor's part. That's what I do. I explain to them (hell, who doesn't like talking about their project) what I'm trying to do, and they always help out.

2) Some folks have a sense of humor. From the funnier responses above, you seem to recognize that the counterfolk also have a sense of humor. The parts guys know it's moronic to ask if you have air conditioning if you're looking for taillight lenses. That's the way their system is set up- and it's set up that way for a reason. It might even be a good reason. The truest sign of intelligence is the ability to laugh at oneself.

3) Last group - the sarcastic, rude, know-it-alls - and the reason I'm posting this - I challenge you to swap places with them. There's no reason to be rude. Remember that you represent all hot rodders, big and small. Walking in there like a know-it-all, demeaning the counter guys and being a dick won't help. You all clearly understand how the system works, so work within the system. Seriously, if you came into my fictional parts store with that type of attitude, I would give you lousy service too. That's human nature. Be nice. It's not like it costs anything- but it can save you a lot of crap.

 

Yeah they don't and won't know everything, but it would be nice if they at least knew something. Gotta find some humor in it when it's the same type of conversations every time I call down there. Like asking me if it's a 4WD truck when I call to order u-joints for the front drive line on a 2008 3/4 ton Chevy. -Nope! Converted it to front wheel drive last week.

 

Sometimes parts folks ask questions because you mumbled or they didn'y hear you clearly If I say I need front ujoints for a 1990 Ford f250 with a V9 and ramjet swaybars (or whatever) They may have only picked up part.. and of course they always ask (sorry.. was that 90 Ford, or 94?" Not everyone is as interested in your vehicle as you are. They are also only asking you the same question the computer is asking them.

 

i need a gasket set for a 59 chevy 283
chevy didnt make a 283 you must be thinking of a ford 289
no chevy made a 283
well someone must have put a ford motor in your chevy cause the smallest motor chevy made was a 327
ok give me a gesket set for a 327
that wont fit your motor
then i guess i will return them

 

I have, for about a year, several years ago. Before that year was up I did not have to look up most common parts a customer came in to ask for. Distributer cap, rotors, plugs, starters, ect. Didn't have to ask model or year stuff. Of course customers back then did all speak english.c A lot fewer parts then also. All a customer had to say was Chevy or ford V8, or any engine, and what part they needed.

 

Not at the parts counter but a salesman at my house.

I was looking at putting Hardee Plank on my house so had a salesman show up to give me an estimate. When he arrives I invite him in to the kitchen table so he can put out his samples and such. He has to walk through my den to get to the kitchen. As we walk into the kitchen he turns and looks in my den and easks "Youre not married are you??" I replied "no " Salesman: I didn't think so. Me: "Really why ?" Salesman: "Because of all the car parts!" The UPS man had just dropped of a set of seats and some other stuff for my car.
Mike

 

I worked in auto parts for a couple of years back in the day and the arrogance, or is it straight-out stupidity combined with a lack of caring on the part of the shop owners who they hire, baffles me. There are parts stores in our local area I've bought from for many years and my dad through his business for years before that so I know who knows what because most of the "old timers" are still there. The franchise stores have mostly clueless minimum wage youngsters in them and I've walked out more than once when a so-called manager once said I couldn't buy a replacement intake for my 3800-II Bonneville. A friend of mine worked at a local NAPA for a long time, now he works for the local Auto Value store that we've bought from since the early 1970s. I'll go there from now on unless they don't have it in stock and I need it right now.

When I ask a twenty-something kid (I'm almost 50) for a part and he goes right to the computer and can't find it, I ask if they have a catalog. If they do I say let me look it up please. If I get no cooperation I go somewhere else. I wish they would pay well, it would be worth it for them to get the return business and if they paid well enough, I'd work there.

 

After I bought an alternator and put it in and it was bad twice I went backand this happened. Cc: can I help you
Me:yes I need another alternator for a 70 c-10
Cc: gets one
Me:can you test this for me
Cc:it's brand new!
Me:so were the last two you got me and both don't work
Cc: ok but it's fine. ( it tested bad)
Cc: want me to order you a new one?
Me: why to get a fourth bad one no just get me a refund and I'll go someplace else.

 

I also can't tell you how many times THE GRAND COMPUTER hashad the wrong part number for the part you need , or describes the wrong part entirely. But the parts jockey only insists its right only to find out its not because all they know is what the computer tells them.

 

use them all the time. easy to deal with.

 

this is a parts store

T