All the hard work is done! Car ads that make me laugh.

I have been hiding at the house today after a road trip. School supplies for the kids(ouch!)

I went throught the usual list of places (looking at cars for sale, you know...crap I can't afford but it's too hot to drive the roadster) egay, craigs, hot rod hotline, deals on, hemmings, and a little site called the HAMB.

After looking at a few projects I began to wonder, what the hell does "All the hard work is done" mean?

In a nut shell when it comes to deuce pickup projects it must mean they have done their best to destroy a pretty cool truck... Mustang II suspension, shortened the bed, piss poor chop, flat firewall, gay wheels, fill it with bondo and send it down the road.

Guess it just struck me funny today as most project ads i read had this line in there.

 

I hate that line too.
From my experience, if all the hard work is done, it should be ready to drive down the road!

 

Haha. All the hard work is done when you can drive it from the middle of no where to cali wit no troubles at all

 

"all the hard work is done" means you have to start from scratch and fix the dumbasses mistakes!@

"Running when parked" also means you have 2.3 gallons of water in 2 or more cylinders!

 

I like that " will make a great work truck" is a synonym for "rusty p.o.s!"

 

yeah, i like "ran when parked". i'm sure it ran great when it was parked, 37 years ago. the four door "coupe" is good too. or the best "would make a great rat rod", oxymoron.

 

How about the "great condition for its age" line. Make me wonder what they are comparing it to.

 

Well at least I didn't say that...!

Besides... the real hard work is in the finished project after straightening out the other guys mistakes!!!

(Sorry about the piss poor floor and ill fitting panels!!!)

 

oh man. yeah, those are all killers. what about "will run" ? that's pretty generic. no shit it will run, with enough of my blood, sweat, tears and money!

i love the "would make a great rat rod" too... thanks pops, i'm glad you and your stupid hawaiian shirt have moved on from "would make a great street rod" way to keep up on the times, bozo.

 

Would make a great rat rod= its a rusty hunk of crap...

Great starter project=they have already dicked it up...

At this price, i'm givin it away=it was givin to them, now they want to make some dough on the shitbox...

 

Yes...it's good to know the code. I've learned a few in the recent past...some from you guys, and some from personal experience.

From the selling end, I learned that "I'll get back with ya in a couple of days" actually means "You won't be seeing me again". Also, a PM or email with nothing more than "Does it run?" or "Will you send me pictures?" actually translates to "I can't take the time to type more than 4 or 5 words to you, but I'm gonna waste your time like a MF. LOL. "What's the least you'll take?" after we've already talked for hours on the phone, and he's now there with the trailer, means "All that we agreed to means nothing to me, and now if I pressure you, maybe you'll bend over for me."

Learned a few from the buying end too. "$18,000" to the question, "How much?" can really mean, "$22,000."...after I show up with $18,000 in-hand.

The condition of the car can definitely be "subjective". "Straight and solid" can mean just about anything...unlesss I'm selling it...then it actually does mean "straight and solid". LOL.

 

All the hard work is done,just needs putting back together,I always called that a basket case.

 

or the overused "rare". yes your odd ball late sixties four door may be relatively rare, but for good reason, and certainly not worth $17, 000.

 

As always "needs TLC" TLC meaning "Truck Load of Cash"

 

Ha Ha. Wasn't talking about you Mark. You disclosed the condition of the car.

I just read enough ads today that they all started to sound like they were written by the same guy.

Dude goes into Barnes and Nobel and buys a copy of "How to sell a car you screwed up for Dummys" and starts writting ads!!!!

Or maybe it was a copy of "50 Catch phrases to sell that hunk of crap in your garage.....for Dummy's"

"Top 100 words to use in a car add to lure in a sucker...for Dummy's"

Funny stuff

 

A couple of lines from for sell ads that pull my chain are when cars with 100k mi odometers listed as having "153,000 origional miles".I always thought origional miles ment the the odometer's first time over.Another is over $15,000 "invested" sell for $7,500. If you are selling for less than you have into it I think the word is spent not "invested"

 

"Ready for paint" gets me....Have yet to see one that was anywhere near being really ready for paint.

 

$20,000 cash, this weekend or I'm scrapping it Monday.

 

What"s even better is when they post pictures of the car and when you go to look at it the the pics were taken 3 years ago before it was parked under a tree in the back yard,just want to kick their ass.then they add ran when it was parked.

 

Some surface rust. My ass! There's surface rust on whats left of the metal. Bought a hearse like that. Didn't cast a shadow.

 

Well what really makes me laugh (to keep from crying) is that I've fallen for the silly bullshit occassionally. Recently, I check the guy out (very easy to do from a distance...he and the car are 1800 miles from me) ...not a dealer...young car guy (and fellow creative sort) who's been hit hard by the economy and has his first kid on the way...touched my heart, know-what-I mean? So I think aww, whatdahell, it's not a real expensive deal. Yes, I should know better but I was feeling pretty good about the kid. So, yes, ya'll can go ahead and pile on...it's my fault for not looking at the car. Anyway, I fall for his rants (in his description) about how he despises sellers who don't fully disclose issues to make their cars sound great. Says hes describing them all...mentions washer sprayers, clock, one headlight door is slow, small hole in headliner, carpet slightly frayed...and a small handful of other very minor(normal) issues... Then goes on to describe the paint as "great", "the cleanest", "smooth" with only "two issues" and provides up-close photos of two hardly detectable spots. I get the car...there's runs, orange peel, fisheyes, and a lot of trash....all over! Worse, it's painted without fixing obvious dents, scratches, DA marks...even over where they used a whizwheel to "shave" off trim. It's a silver car...so you can't see any of the shit in the pictures. We all know there's only two types of people who would paint a car like that and call it "great"...Crooks or idiots. I guess he's one or the other. Me, I'm just a dumbass. Oh well... what goes around comes around..he's only snookered me for a few thousand, but going through life treating people like that is gonna cost him a fortune.

 

What gets me even more is when they don't post any pictures. How do you expect to sell a car online with no pictures. I usually skip the ads without them.

 

"Must be seen" always make wonder about the seller.

 

Another favourite of mine: Will make a great entry level street rod. ????

 

Sacrifice or my loss is your gain

 

It means that the bondo and fiberglass covering the rust holes has been hit with the cheese grater and spray bomb primer, but it still needs "finishing".

 

At my age you've heard all of the above hundreds of times. SO.............the only way to judge is to look for yourself. If after seeing the car (or whatever) in person ,in the daylight, you buy it only later to find "issues"..............chalk it up to being a dumbass (as looking in a mirror dumbass). At that point lick your wounds and move on. You'll NEVER reach 65+ without getting your ass reamed so the trick is to minimize the bleeding. Learn early or buy stock in Hemorid treatment.

Frank

 

How about... "I'm selling it for a friend", and "Sorry for the (out of focus) pictures, my camera was (broken, lost, dirty, whatever)" or the ubiquitous: " excellent (or like new) condition, for it's age"

 

...so you're saying I have 13 more years of ass-reamings, then I'll know better? Ouch!

 

I just read one.... Engine appears to have been completely rebuilt!

translation, the water pump went out so a few new gasket are showing.