Art & Inspiration A car christmas story

This will be a Christmas story about a car(s) written by H.A.M.B. members.
RULES: Add 1 or 2 paragraphs and let the next HAMBSTER continue the story.

Long long ago.. In a midwestern junk yard. My boss came acrossed the body of a panel. He must have been hitting the suds a little that day. He paid $75 for a pile of rust & rubber. He then proudly calls me on phone and says hey guess what. I found that panel you always wanted. It only cost $100. I'm bringing it home for ya. You can pay me any time. So how do ya tell Mr good intentions. That this is going to take a little more help then God will allow on one vehicle. Maybe because it will take 2 more perfectly good ones to make a whole truck. So the project begains......

 

I eagerly started building a frame out of 2x3 square stock and was on my way building the panel truck from hell .Finished the frame in a couple weeks ,

 

but when the motor went in it was all wrong It did not fit at all

 

The old guy next door comes over and says I 've got one just like in back at the family farm in the barn. So the next day we go to take a look.

 

So what to do on the drive train.The Panel truck from Hell is gonna have to live up to that name, Right!.BB chevy or Hemi. Super Charged or Injected.I don't know, but it's gonna be Nasty.....

 

When we arrived the barn had collapsed on top of the panel.

 

it is a 1946 gmc panel in his barn and he want $100 for it. the panel we are working on is 1946 chevy so we buy the 46 gmc panel and build both of them . we put a 572 in one of them and the other get a 572 Super Charged .

 

Mean while I noticed my 12 pack was empty, and I had installed the engine in backwards. A few hours later problem solved. I got a fresh 12 pack and got out the engine hoist, to fix the engine problem.

 

When we got out to his family farm I quickly realized that this was nothing like the old flathead I was going to use. Ardun headed and blown there she sat in all her glory!

 

But the next morning after I tripped over all the beer cans on the floor I relized it was not the motor I was trying to put in. it was the garden tractor now bact to fitting the motor .

 

WTF! Who brought the T.V. and Playstation? I thought we were working on the panel! I'll play winner......

 

Right about then, good ol' Pete dropped in with another 30 of Natty Light. Next afternoon we grabbed some breakfast at the local 'Bertos and proceeded to remove from the pool, the big blue and green cans, 'er landing craft from the Normandy reenactment. It was then we both realized what a goofy ass thread this is.

 

After putting the lawn tractor back to rights. The bbc injected hemi 572 supercharged hemi? mAN i've got a headache from all the beer is reardy to go in????? so as i go to install the engine for the third or fourth time. I realize this is not even my house. So back to installing the engine at a house that is not mine??? I hear a clattter up on the roof. after all remember this is a christmas story.

 

I decided that the 572 Hemi was just perfect! That is, with an 8-71 blower and twin 250-shot nitrous kits! The engine went in the cargo bay like it was made for it! You think Maverick's Lil' Red Truck was something in the quarter, you just wait for this kickass panel truck, baby!

So, we rolled it out of the shop and into the drive. Busted that fresh Hemi off! It was sweet music! Plus, it blew the windows out of the house, so the old lady is kinda pissed right now...but it is soooo worth it!...

THAT was the clatter!

 

At this point, with the backwards engine install, the drunken mechanics, the rusty panel, I started to think the kids have the right idea...... Should I build a Honda??? But then I realized.......

 

Finally, after getting sober I installed the engine correctly.But what I didn't think of was the engine came out of a boat so now I have 4 reverse gears and one very low forward gear......back to the drawing board in the morning..........

 

........all of a sudden out in the garage I heard such a clatter,I awoke from my dream and jumped out of bed to go see what was the matter,
My wife had fired up a open header engine, still on its stand,
it carried a beat like a drummer in a band.
I wasnt sure if the panel had already arrived or if it was all a dream,
sometimes things arent as they seem.
still kind of foggy and half asleep
I went to look out my garage window to take a peep....

 

And what do you think I could possibly see?
In my garage right before me an old GMC.
there was a 572 sitting in that old truck...
with nitrous and blowers..holy shit! What the Fuck?
The next thing you know the thing will be tubbed,
what happend to that poor old panel I loved?
Oh well somebody must be playing a trick...
Or Santa has become a salty ol prick.
I guess I could just throw it away
And start on that sweet 31 Model A...
And this time I'll keep it traditional and cool
and take all those street roddy fuckers to school
With a nailhead, drum brakes, and bias ply tires
some strombergs on top and braided cloth wires.
So now I'm getting excited again
And maybe next Christmas I'll go for a spin!

 

But as for right now. Both you and low budget, Have caused me to grin.
WAY TO KOOL

 

A little more thinking about taking that first spin,
I hooked my leg on another piece of metal, what I said
would boil a kettle!
As soon as the pain was just getting better, I forgot to write Santa my letter.
Hobbling along at a very slow pace, I reached the kitchen in post haste.
Trying to write to that ol' man in red, I didn't hear the noise
from the table, let alone from the shed----

 

next thing i knew, the roof collapsed in and santa fell to the floor. he had parked the sliegh on the shed and was trying to stuff some new chrome bumpers and a set of chromies down my chimney when the strain was to much and the roof fell in. well, there we were. santa and me, staring at each other from across the room........

 

I didnt know what to say, so.
'Hey man, wanna beer?'
Santa replyed,
'Fuck yeah, this is some hot friggin work!'
So there we sat Santa and I, suckin down a few cold ones..........

 

Damn I miss C9.

Doc.

 

well of course we ran out of beer, and Santa said I'm out of here
I could only hear the sleigh bells and his reindeer
but it wasn't long before I realized he had left me with the fear
that I had forgot presents for my own sweet dear
so off to the parts store I went.......

 

There was a whoosh & a bang as the boss threw open the door. He yelled at me & the guys,"Put down the weed, Get off the HAMB & get back to work!"
Al

 

So back to the shop to fire the engine again just for fun just for grins and up from the carb a big fire ball did rise, burning my hair, nose and my eyes and an "Oh Shit Honey your hair my wife yelled out", I was on fire without a doubt, I put out the fire without the use of a tool that's when Eric said, "That was cool".

 

After work "a ton" and a whole lot fun,standing back and looking, maybe we hadnt built this truck according to tradition
But with the five spokes making the connection it still looked wicked.

Sense we dont seem to be taking this 46 any further
maybe we can look to the HAMB before we go to the other.

 

So its back to the drawing board for the Purple and yellow
Dump these wheels & paint over them flames said the jolly old fellow.
Deuce them pipes, chop that top, I gotta make it mellow.

 

bbt

 

Im off my meds now..........Should of built a 32 Ford coupe . Called up speedway and ordered a kit .Drove the chevy right into a ditch.Now im waiting for delivery on my 32 kit.