What's the Most Absurd Claim you've heard at a Car Show, Drag Race, Cruise Night, etc

New hemi has opposed valves and central spark plugs just like the old ones - only difference is the quench areas. It is not a poly and I would say it is still a Hemi.



Hey if you can call a "Blue Crescent" Shotgun Ford a hemi, the 5.7 is one as well.

 

I have a 57 Olds super88 with a connie kit. It also has a 455 and turbo 400. Comments at car runs and shows

1. Nice 58 chev, buick, pontiac, very few correctly guess its an Olds
2. My uncle had one just like it, It had the stock 455 also
3. Those turbo 400's were great trannies in their day but the one in my
65 chevy is a better tranny
4. Nice 454 big block
5. Funny place to put a spare tire I thought they were mounted on the
sides of the front fenders
6. Why did you fill in the holes on the front fenders thats what makes
buicks look cool

This goes on forever

 

Hey i won 20 bucks one night . Told a buddy i could break em loose t 65 in our old 350 powered international pickup . He said "Your On"

So running down the highway about 65 i looked over and said " you ready"
He nodded and i jerked the th350 down into 1st and slid the ass end .

By god i got my 20 bucks , he never said i had to accelerate to do it LMAO!!! He wasnt happy but i got the tank filled.

 

I was walking along side a guy and his wife at the Iola swap meet this year. As we walked past a 53 DESOTO grill, he says to her:"That's a grill out of a 1950 Mercury"

 

Opposed valves does not make it a hemi. The shape of the chamber does. Technically the new hemi isn't one.

 

For referrence, this is a real hemi chamber.

 

Just the other day "I had a Hillman with a dash like that"

 

10SecondA:YOUR story about "TITANIUM 350 you know like in NASCAR" sure beats the crap the guy told me about the "It's still got the ORIGINAL 440 Hei in it!" story all to hell!

(Yes, and AJMoPar, this was 1974 or 75. So Putting conversion Hemi heads onto a 440 probably was still WAY too new an idea. There probably wouldn't have been much of a MARKET, what with the Arabs turning off the OIL spiggot right then.)

 

40 & 61 Fords from Minnesota, if you SWEAR that story about the DeSoto grille is TRUE, I will shit my trou, bro!!! No way could anybody utter such words in daylight!

Did you say anything, or were you sympathetic for this pathetic soul???

Hell, I think I couldn't have helped buy spew beer on that one! Where do people GET these ideas?

 

BudHaBoy Wrote: without France's Financial, Material, and Military aid, we would still be a British Colony. France gave us so much support, they damn near bankrupted their own country, and effectively sacrificed themselves as a world power in helping us in our liberation. Good thing you're nothing more than a Barcalounge General.

Well, BudHaBoy, I would NOT have SAID it if I did not BELIEVE it! I am well aware of what France did for US when we were struggling for independence from Britain (a power France detested, so they HAD an interest therE, you know?

The best musket our Minutemen could hope to carry would have been French, French ships outran the brits to get needed materials to us, and Lafayette was practically Washington's right-hand man.

I DO CERTAINLY BELIEVE WE (THE U.S.) REPAID THAT DEBT IN BLOOD, THROUGH TWO WARS. YOU THINK WHAT YOU WISH, AND I'LL THINK WHAT I WISH.<!-- / message -->

 

Amen! I cant believe this is still a debate on this thread. Face it AMERICA is the greatest country in the world . Love it or leave it. At least get over it.

 

No Political discussion on the HAMB brainiacs.

 

lets not ruin this thread, I always get a laugh out of some of the dumb things people say in this. great thread!!

 

Never have owned a fiberglass bodied hot rod (other than a Corvette) but I might some day. I loved my fiberglass bodied Corvette and know I could learn to love a fiberglass Hot Rod too. In any case, where do you find virgin steel bodies anymore. There just getting too hard to find. At least at a reasonable price and in fair or better condition. Most are rust buckets. Now take a look at the amount of bondo many of these "all steel" car bodies are carrying, mine included.

So I say if ain't steel and bondo it ain't real.

 

You are correct, sir. Just as an FYI, that's what the chamber of a classic Jag DOHC straight six looks like - the old XJ engines.

 

hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahh. That's freakin hilarious!!!!

 

Only thing left for him to do at that point would have been to yell 'stop, thief!' as you drove away..........................LOL

 

I hope Bash don't read this. But, the most far-fetched thing I've heard is his story of 98 car wrecks that people got into, IN ONE NIGHT, while rubber-necking to look at his Acid painted VW Bug. Sorry Bash, I couldn't resist.
BTW, the Groucho BOOSHITOMETER is pegged

 

When I first moved to Texas I met this inbred jackoff with a rediculous amount of Chevy Luv Trucks. He showed us his "pro street" Chevy pick up (Shitty attempt at a custom paint job, stock suspension minus traction bars). Said it was a pro built race motor. I asked him what size the motor was. He replied, the big V8. He started it up and it was overly apparent that it was stock as hell. He proudly opens the hood claiming it will run 8 second corners sideways. (As I'm staring at a 305 chevy with headers). I laughed my ass off.

 

Anyone that has run a Nitro car has surely had to listen to some knob in the pits talk about his 12 second street car that runs 7's when he merely dumps some 100% in the tank.

No changes to the fuel system, timing, gearing, etc.- just dump some nitro in it and go 7's.

My standard reply:

"That's awesome man. Is it hard on crankshafts when you drive over them in the burnout box?"

Dve

 

Many times someone claiming all this power, speed and can never back it up due to low tire pressure or some type electrical short.

jp

 

My flathead powered '40 sedan will do a burnout through third gear. I'm glad I have a '39 toploader to handle all that power...

 

We had a guy come into the shop, don't know who the hell he was but he came in to ask about a few cars that were there the other day. (and 2 more in the shop)

First he asked about a '67 'Maro we had we were sorting out a few issues on, said he saw the car in Louisville at a show... I said nope, all the guy has done with it is drive it here, and drive it home, not even a local cruise or anything.... Well he continued to say it was at the show...

Next car... '54 Ford Pick Up, he looks at it... And says that's a nice '53... And I tell him it's a '54, again swears it's a '53 his dad had one JUST like it... I continue to tell him it's a '54, he says then maybe it has a '53 Grill...Nope...It's a '54, with a '54 Grill. He gets a little pissed off... So then I inform him that for being such an expert he must have missed it was sitting on a '70's Ford Truck chasis, it couldn't have been the different suspension, the 390, or the poor fitment of the body on the chasis that gave it away...(which is what we are so lucky to fix)

The next deal, he is about ready to leave...Then stops by another Camaro we are working on... Asks if the "67" is for sale...I reply, nope, and it's a '69... It continues on again... Then I point out diffs between the two (main one being the vent windows that are not on the '69) He gets pissed and leaves...

A few weeks later he shows up...again... This time he wants to know if we know his friends in the other building... (we do, they are shitty people)...He continues on and asks how much a tune up for his truck would be...(tune ups fix all the problems ya know) I told him $85, he gets all sorts of pissed off again, and says so and so will do it for $30 including parts... So I asked him why he didn't just take it to him... And he says because he thought we price matched.... I told him to have a nice day and went back and damn near died from laughing...

WTF kind of mom and pop auto repair price matches? and if they do, who the fuck price matches impossible prices?

 

When I ran a nostalgia fuel deal, I used to hear it all the time. Did a lot of match racing at little tracks, did you know there are a lot of fuel experts that show up at these events?
One of the most common was when mixing fuel, you always had a guy that ran 'nitrous' too. Usually ended up telling you he could run in the 6's and then asked why you mixed your own when you could just buy it in a bottle. Always pointed out the oxygen bottle at the back of the chassis (just happened to be blue) and told them that it was a secondary fuel system, just in case we were behind I'd hit it for that top end charge.....just like they did on the street.

 

"thats a 348 at low rpm,when you get to 2200,it's a 409!The pistons are on a concentric crank" wtf? I'm somehow ralated to this guy?shoot me in the head!

 

so me and a couple of friends were hanging out in front of this concert venue leaning up against my friend's 60 f100. this guy who was driving a mid 90's explorer comes up to us and starts asking my buddy a bout the truck. Low in behold this guy apparently owns a brand new chrysler 300c srt8 with a supercharger on it 24" wheels and air bags. he claimed it would lay frame and had 700hp just with a supercharger on it. he then proceeded to tell us a story about how he would street race it and drop the rear bags as he would launch to get better traction.

 

Gee, I wonder how much they paid him just to walk in. Musta been more than they wanted to pay him for bringin his car!!!! Yeah RIGHT!!!!

Carrie

 

The day we bought our 66 Pontiac, our son was looking in the window, noticed the identical radio and Temperature controls and dumbly asked, "Does that thing have two radios?". My witty husband, without skipping a beat said "Of course it does, that's how they did stereos back in the 60s". My son looks at me, and I at him, both with a WTF expression on our faces. I had not noticed, till our son had mentioned them, so stupid me walks around the car opens the door and I proclamed, "It's the the Heater control", I look over at my witty hubby and he is bent over laughing. Suckered me into that one!!!!

Carrie

 

I had borrowed my brother's '05 Mustang GT and had stopped to get ice cream when some guy with a mohawk comes up and says, "you wanna race?". I asked him what he had and he said "same as yours but supercharged." I told him i was unlikely to win but sure, go and get it. He says to me, "oh well it's not here." So i started asking him questions about it and he conceded that it was actually his friends' car. Then he asked me if i knew his friend so-and-so who owned the car. I say yeah, i had just worked on that car at work a couple days ago and the guy told me that it could "pull wheelstands all day long". He had bought the car after being awarded tons of money after a cop car hit him while responding to an emergency. It was apparent that he had already beaten the poor thing so badly that it was on its last leg. I told mohawk he should be ashamed of himself for hanging out with that idiot.

i'd like to think that awesome cars are chick magnets, but sometimes it seems like they work better as retard magnets....

 

I had a guy with a '66 "GTO" convertible swearing it was the real thing, I pointed out that the numbers on the data plate on the firewall were a LeMans identification. After telling everybody about his wonderfull "GTO" he admitted to me that he added all of the emblems, changed the interior door panels, added the wood to the dash and, get this, cut out the back to remove the LeMans tail ligts and weld in a GTO tail light panel. Haven't seen the guy back in 2 and a half years.