Well this guy wasn't what I would call a friend, but he had a really screwed up A that needed alot of parts to make it right, had a poor chop job on the doors, glass decklid, butchered A pillars, among other things. I stepped up and offered some spare parts I had to help him get his car together because he needed to sell it cause he lost his job and needed $$$$. We agreed on a price or suitable parts for swap. Been trying to get ahold of him for 2 months, going by his house every week and leaving notes. I go by there today and the house is empty. I gave him a set of coupe doors to cut the tops off of so he could fix his, but told him I wanted them back because I wanted the latches and the lower garnish trim for my car. I found my doors all twisted up behind the house with the latches and trim gone!!! His car was missing them also, so I know where they went. Last time I try to help someone out. And before it gets said, he has dodged me for 2 months, so I am sure he didn't remove them to give them to me. The last time I tried to help someone out they stole my ZZ3 motor, TCI tranny, and about 2k worth of parts. I'm done being nice. Every time I try to help a fellow hot rodder out I get screwed, anyone else have this luck or is just me????
You gotta find better quality friends dude! It sucks, but he will get his in the end. What go's around, comes around. Doc.
May be you need to up your standerds or start listhing to that voice in your head that says run away.
Usually, in the Hot Rod world, ya don't see this kinda stuff, but lately I've been hearing more and more stories like yours. I have been taken advantage of a few times over the years, but never by a fellow gear-head. I have a friend that's always saying "No good deed goes un-punished". I always thought that was such a pessimistic attitude, but maybe there's a spark of truth in it.
True that. I got taken advantage of all the time in school lending out movies and cd's or bumming a roommate some money. I try to be more cautious now. That's a pretty crappy move this guy made. Hopefully Karma comes around for you and delivers a free car to you like DMFB just received.
Some people relate kindness as a weakness.Sorry about you being dumped on. Hope your generosity comes back 10 fold to you. I had a b/law(he's invisible,I don't see him or make a point of looking for him) who'd break,malign,alter,screw up,misappropriate anything of anybodys he could.After breaking my toolbox,losing tools,breaking into my garage,damaging my trucks(I could go on for a while)I just decided I didn't need him in my world. He's got a whole new set of people that he's screwing up with now. A leopard cannot change its spots...
I hate to say it, but to the greatest extent, a person is best off not lending anything out that your not willing to take a chance loosing... It has been my policy to EXPECT that most people are going to screw me out of my stuff, so that being the case, when I get something back (which I usually do these days!) it is a BONUS.... This "expectation" really helps with my attitude, and it helps me to NOT LOAN out stuff I really want or NEED....
Some one once told me ..Stopping me mid sentance as I was saying such and such was a friend of mine ... "ARE THEY YOUR FREIND OR JUST SOMEONE YOU KNOW? ".... I took that to heart from that point on ... being in the parts business and where deals are made and lost ... sticken to your gut about value of stuff and friends .... PEOPLE USE PEOPLE TO GET THEMSELVES AHEAD EVERY DAY SOME LIE , CHEAT STEAL,TALK YOU DOWN .... REAL FRIENDS OFFER TIME ,LABOR, PARTS EVEN (SHORT) MONEY WITH OUT THE NEED FOR BEING PAID BACK ...WELL IDEALLY ANY WAY SO IF YOU NEED STUFF BACK LOOK EM SQUARE IN THE EYE AND LET EM KNOW .. let more than one person know at the time so a mutal understanding no one is confused also being sober is good in transactions like these .. i ain't sayin nothin demeaning here just trying to cheer ya up.. really hope it all comes out ok holdin grudges does not help your own mental health either ....... HATE is an acid that will consume the container quicker than those that are hated for sure! good luck
I feel you guys on this one I have been screwed by a few shops before but that has made the shops I do have great experiences ones I appreciate all the more I try and bring a case of beer now and again by shops that do me right and I recommend them as fast as I hear "Do you a know a good place for...." One of my buddies gave some great advice in this arena "never loan something you dont care if you ever get back" I find that keeps me from loaning a lot of shit out but I also apply that one to what I allow my self to ask for.
You did good by helping. may be a way the guy is testing us all by reading your post. Keep doing good things.....they are just doors and your generous attitude is non replacable. V
hold him down and use garden ships on his fingers one by one.....wait a minute, thats was the other thread. Good on you for helping, it really sux he screwed it up for the next guy whom might really need and appreciate your skills and help.
Scott i hate some one beat you out of parts and money but don't let it eat at you. the more you let it eat at you the more p.o.ed your going to get. i always like to think good things will come from good deeds. i do think the guy was not much of a man or friend if he couldn't call.
Poverty Flats said it all. I don't have friends like that either. Take a step up the ladder & leave this loser behind.
when I have been in simular situations I just figure that the cost of the part or cash equivalent was worth finding out that they are a rat and knowing that it was really cheep in exchange for never having to deal with them again.just my opp.
Man how long had you known this guy ?? Maybe his luck is bad now and He'll get back to you ,,I hope >>>>.
Well, you say that you won't do it again...but chances are, you probably will...if that is the kind of person you are. At least that is my problem...I've been screwed over, stabbed in the back, and taken advantage of by people who I would have considered my friends, and I always say that I won't let people do that to me ever again...but I am very naive...I trust people way too easily and have a giving spirit, so I end up in the same repeated situations, just with different people. Will I ever learn
I learned a long time again, never loan more than you are willing to give away. I live by that rule everyday. That way if I don't get it back I don't have to worry about it because I would have given it away anyway. Sorry for you loss brother, not all of us are bad though.
Unfortunately, there are too many out there who don't want to own up to their responsibility - I am sure if he was confronted, he would offer an explanation that made it your fault. The advice about not dwelling on it is good, because you don't need to waste negative emotion on someone like that- it just eats away at you. But don't give up on the human race, most people are still good - and you are one of those people.
I have given 'friends' parts, only to have been asked for money for parts inreturn when I needed them I have lent vehicles out only to have them returned broken or damaged. Some friend of mine still has a Devillbiss gun of mine, since 1985. Have I learned?? Damn right. My wife and my tools. No one else touches them. Well the wife anyways, and there are only two or three people I would trust with the tools.
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