Amen to that, -as much as I'm inclined to help, its not worth the headaches. (but sometimes I cant help it)
When that happens to me, I figure it was a cheap way to get rid of a guy like that. Feel sorry for your kid though. When a customer/visitor offers you money, NEVER turn it down. I've ALWAYS regretted it. True friends are exempt from that rule of course. One trick I remember was a guy asked me to pick up a flywheel and clutch for him at a swap meet. Said he'd pay $50. So I got him one for $45 and lugged it to my truck. He looks at it and says $45 is too much for that, how about $30? Forgot that one until just now.
I went to the auto parts store i was driveing my T buckett and a guy their asked if he could look at my car I said sure knock your self out. I told him I had to get some parts I'd talk to him when i came back out. Inside one of the parts guys said that guy had been broke down in their parking lot for three days and needed a fule pump for his 89 s-10 blazer he was heading to Fl and broke down. I asked the parts guy if he had the part he said yes. I told him to pull it. he did I payed for it and went outside. We talked for a bit he told me that I had a nice car I said thanks.( He never asked for help or any money before i went in or in our talk.) So i asked if he was alright he said he's been broke down and staying in his blazer. He was grease monkey like us here. as i got in my buckett I gave him the pump and asked if needed help putting it in he thanked me many time and said he would get it just fine he asked for my # so he could let me know that he made it to Fl. I gave it to him. To my suprise he called out of the blue and let me know he made it and got a job and bought him a trailer in a park and told me that he was so thankful for my kindness. It don't happen often but its nice to know you made a difference in someones life. So I always say If it feels right in your heart then do it. Your doing it for the right reason not for the glory.if they con you then its on them you can sleep at night. I have 4 kids I try to show them some manners and whats right do your part and help if you can!
Thanks for sharing that story. It's kinda neat to hear that some people really are just going through a hard stretch, and that any one of us may be the helping hand they need.
I saw an obvious homeless guy hitch hiking at a highway intersection on a cold day.I was heading into town and stopped at a coffee shop to pick him up a cup of java. Thought fuck what do I get so I bought him a regular and took it back out to him on the highway. I pulled over and offered it to him,he asks what mix and i said its a regular.....I drink black he says and dumps the coffee out! Fuck him and his smelly attitude....
I forgot this good samaritan story from a few years back, but this thread made me think about it again. Any of you who have a trailer probably has a "wheel bearing story". That sickening thud and squeel when a bearing collapses in the rim, generally taking out the races and maybe stripping the spline in the process if you don't stop fast enough, or if your really lucky, the trailer tire actually comes off completely and passes you at 70 mph! (I have had all this happen in 25 years of pulling my boat all over the place...) I had my 4 kids and wife in our van, coming back from the Key's on vacation, when my wife insists on getting off the highway to stop at a tree farm in the middle of nowheresville in South Florida. The place ended up being closed, and as we got ready to get back on the highway, one of my daughters tells me she hears a squeeling noise coming from the boat trailer and she thinks it's a wheel bearing. (THATS how you know you've had bearing stories when your teenage daughter KNOWS its a bearing going!) I pull over, and sure as shit, the bearing is collapsing. I look around, and there ain't shit to be seen for miles. We are literally in the middle of nowhere. So I figure, I'll tear it all down, stay with the boat, and send my wife and kids into town to look for a part. (Keep in mind it's like 3pm on a Sunday, so I know we're screwed from the get-go, but I don't tell them that...) As I'm starting to jack the trailer, an old beat up pickup stops up in front of the van. An old guy gets out, walks up to me and says "wheel bearing"? Yeh....I thought so. He examines the rim, and says, "well, get it off and put it in my truck. I've got everything to fix it at my shop back up the road". So I'm lookin' at this guy like he's kidding, my wife is scared he's gonna' cut my throat or something....But, with no other options, I get it apart, drive up the road and out an old dirt road to some ancient tin roof buildings. We go inside, and this guys got every type of machining equipment you can think of, and parts piled everywhere! Turns out he restores old tractors, and the freakin' bearing are exactly the same size! I just couldn't believe it! He gathers the parts, we go back, and he won't even let me work on it. He put in new races and bearings, cleaned up the threads on the spline, greases it all up,and has us back on the road within 45 minutes! He told me he had been stranded the same way before, and didn't have the heart to leave us there. He also told me he never worked that late on a Sunday at his shop, but he had a motor he wanted to get finished and stayed late that day! It was an incredible story, and we were so thankful. I got his name and address, and sent him a set of titanium eyeglass frames (I noticed he wore glasses, and that's my business) when I got back. He called me and told me he had just been to the optometrist the day he recieved the frames, so it worked out perfect! Unbelievable again! So, good things do happen. I just saw a bumper sticker this morning on a truck that said, "Randon act of kindness every day". Good words to live by.
........been there, done that. We all do some charity work. but.........Just because I'm retired, some think I work for free Even with a friend or buddy, there has to be rules to the game. If its Im helping and its charity work, then he has to make all the decisions. If he cant handle that, then I change the rules. If its not charity from now on, I treat it completely like business. My offer is simple. I'll 'help' you. You do the planning. You get the parts. Then I'll "assist" you on doing the work. At each stage of the game, say when a fender is being repaired. I'll demonstrate the shooting of fill primer, then demo a little of sanding, then I'll say "call me when you are ready to shoot the color on". Usually the job has to be done over, or at least tweaked. Then when it's ready to hang, I'll go over the drill with him, lay out the bolts, and assist with getting it kind of slaved in plact, and tell him "when you get it hung on, call me." Then I go over how to tweek the alignment if it's off. Invaribly, even with that drill, I sometimes get some crap complaining aboupt how we did it. But my reply is easy, I say, "Whats this WE shit? You did it, I only helped you along. If all of a sudden you want this to be strictly business, then go home and I'll call you when I'm done." Simple as that
What a great thread! Some fantastic guys here, and some really bitter ones, too (not that I can blame you). "Do not grow weary in your well doing..." a verse that rings in my ears anytime I'm doing right by someone, but not going to get the credit, pay, thanks, or even appreciation. The second half to that quote is: "...for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart". Don't loose heart, all you good samaratins, all you guys who help others. Keep a good attitude, and move forward. And old friend of mine used to say, "You can either become bitter, or better." Man - that's good advice. BTW - yeah, I've been screwed by friends that I've helped. But then again, seen the appreciation of others by the tears in their eyes. They are the ones who make it worth it. Don't let the jerks get you down. Disclaimer: I am NOT saying it's o.k. to be someone's doormat!!! Someone mistreats you, then move on.
I have a tire changer and my friend calls and asks could you change a couple ot tires. so he brings 10 muddy tires he bought at a junk yard and I pull them off wheels then install them on other wheels then wants them balanced. I gave him a price ,he says I can't afford that I'll take them to another friend to get them done. Well he never paid me for changing tires and has the nerve to call me later to change some more. I told him the machine was broken. He comes to the shop to give me address of a place to get parts, I said buy the part and you can use it, his reply was were would I get the money I'm broke. I said go see your other friend.
When I was turning wrenches, I used to get the "can you do it on the side?" people. They always tried to butter me up with 'you are the only guy I trust' crap. Unless it was a good friend, I explained it like this: Okay, but I have to charge 1.5 times as much since I've already done a full day's work. Also, since I don't have the same tools at home as I do at work, it's going to take longer. Oh, and you have to get the parts. And one more thing, I will not accept phone calls after 9PM, so don't call when it breaks down. I never had anyone take me up on it. They realized that the shop rate and service was the best deal out there. I also help friends. I've narrowed that group over the years.....
i learned my lesson , ditto on the no good deed s go unpunished thing , i always thought good deeds brought good back to you lol , wrong
I get this shit from of all people my mom! She calls me one day and say that a lady she works with needs some work done to her car and that she told them i would do it for free!I get there and its a blown head gasket on a 6 cyl P.O.S. and wasn't worth the money that they were going to have to spend to fix.So i go tell her this and she and her husband get pissed at me for telling them this! I say ok here's your choice take it to a shop and have it done they charge you 2000 or more to do it and my mom tells you i will do it for free well heres what parts are gonna cost and when you buy the parts you call me! Needles to say the car went to the bone yard and i didnt have to work on it.I get this quite often from my mom volunteering me to work on peoples cars for free and finally the i told her it either stops or i quit working on her car!Sorry i have a wife and kid and i like to spend time with them!Let alone keep doing jobs for free then everyone expects it of you!No thanks some jobs are to big to do for free.
I have to agree. Every time I have done someone a favor for free it always turns into me not giving them enough, or it's my fault that there electric fuel pump died because I put in a new water pump so I should "make it right". I have learned to only help people who are either truly in need or that I know I can count on to be there for me as well. Helping people that just "want" help gets me in trouble every time.
I try to be helpful when somebody needs help. the trick is to weed out those that really need help on something from those that just want somebody to the work for 'em. Several things I've learned (and, foolishly, continue to learn) are: Anybody can screw you and, if given the chance, most will. By giving your work, or parts, away you set the value you place on your efforts and products at zero. After that, every time you charge somebody who knows you once did it for free, your "screwin 'em" If somebody asks for help (especially the ones the need/want alot of help), it's usually because they can't or wont do it themselves (or don't want to pay the going price at a shop). Which means it's unlikely they will be able or want to return the favor.... I play dumb more and more as time goes by.... I know nothing about everything Rich
I know that not all people are bad. You guys that have been screwed over I'm not saying it's right. But did you help because you wanted to or wanted a pat on the back .If so you did it for the wrong reason. Doing something nice is for you as well as for thouse that you help. It's good for the soul. Thank about how hard it is right now. People are lossing it all their houses, jobs, ect .... Look I'm not saying give eveything you got away or anything like that. I'm saying if you help thats their no string attatched thats all. You do it for your self and the act of kindness. If they con you like I said before it's on them and you can sleep at night. Do it for the right resons not the wrong ones. Please don't let the acts of some get in the way of being a good person. Just thank about that next time someone ask for help.Thats all thanksfor your time Tim
I feel the Same way.. But in the Same token, I have a very hard time asking for help.. Knowledge is one thing, asking for hands on help is another.. eg: Autobody repairs.. Ive been in the situation of Helping some one out ( friend ) because they could not afford to Get it done in a shop for Professional repairs.. well they wanted a back yard job to turn out like the professionals shop repairs .. at the quarter of the price.. Trying to Help.. IT was Not worth the effort .. I would never again commit my self to that again..
Was rebuliding a 69 corvette for a customer ,was asked if i could drop the engine in for him before i glued the nose on . Ya no problem 4 bolts and about 45min work. Well a year sitting in the shop no motor, it showed up as a long block ,and oh you just have to bolt a few things together . The weekend came called the customer asked if he was going to be around ,he said ya all day .Well the car was loaded and droped off to him no nose glued on ,and his motor and parts in the same boxes. NO more doing customers favors, all i ended up was a storage building for his project and his thin wallet.
I used to drive around the freeways of San Diego looking for breakdowns. I had a bunch of fan belts and used tires on rims. One day I saw a big mercedes on the side. broke fan belt. I told the guy I probably had one that fit but it was from the junk yard. He said do it. I did it. Then he says he has no money.I told Mr. $400.00 suit I believed him because he looked like the type that didnt carry cash and god bless and have a nice day. He replied that there was a sears off the next exit and I should follow him there. He bought me the mechanics tool set which I still have. I wish him well when I say my prayers. Another Time my friend Tom Too (another story) and I were going to a swap meet and a motor home was on the side-o-the road with grandpa holding a fan belt. we took the belt and laughed because he was so trusting. We got the belt at the local parts store and of course it was the one furthest back on the motor. They had a fridge full of coors and it was cold and free All done and as we were washing up in the M/H they introduced us to grandma who gave each of us $50.00. not bad in 1985 Ive been hosed too but if thats the price to find out who's a jerk, at least I learned
I definitely hear the guys who get "volunteered" by friends and family members to help a third party. Best way to even the situation up is to "volunteer" said friend or family member for an equally difficult, equally thankless task. When they balk (and they will) remind them of their generosity in donating your time and effort.
I've always said that my only redeeming value is my work ethic. Ever since I was a kid I've helped "friends" out of sticky situations with a slap in the face for payment. When I was 16, I helped a friend switch out a 4 speed in his capri to an automatic. We had to do it in a night, because he didn't want his dad to know he bought him a car that didn't have 2nd gear(otherwise,daddy wouldn't have bought it for him. Well, the dumbass bought a C6 for a big block to put behind his 5.0. We didn't find out until we went to muscle it up to the engine. The kicker is, the guy who sold it to him knew it wouldn't work, but he thought he would "teach us a lesson about cars". I noticed something was off about the bolt pattern, but I let the kid talk me into trying it anyway. So here we are at 4 am saturday morning, putting the bad transmission back in the car so daddy doesn't find out. 6am I come strolling home, doing the walk of shame, preparing from the ass-reaming from my parents. Lesson learned? Naw...... 2 years later, same guy, wants to be the first in our new homebuilt paint booth. Sure, buddy...300 bucks plus you buy the paint and do the bodywork yourself. He brings the car(another mustang) out to the house at about noon on a saturday. The body work isn't finished and he hasn't removed any trim. I help him tear it down, fix the rust hole in his hatch, re prep the primer he sprayed on it out in his front yard. To top it off, he has his girlfriend with him the whole time to entertain. I didn't mind at first because she was a smokin' hottie, but he was distracted to say the least. So, we tape off the car so I can paint the outside and the jambs all at once (color change) He insists on a clearcoated paint job, but won't buy base clear. I say sure, just buy some enamel and some enamel clear...I've seen it done, why not? Anyway, the car fisheyes like crazy, he's pissed now and is wanting a refund. I try to talk him into waiting until the paint dries so I can repaint it. I never get a straight answer . He comes back first thing in the am to put it back together (still gummy) because he has to drive it to work in the afternoon. Whatever dude.... I never heard from him again. Oh, and I got like 88 bucks or something, and another lecture from my parents. Fast forward ten years or so to present time. I'm trying to finish a Chevelle frame off restoration I blindly agreed to "help" with on the side. 3 or 4 year have passed between waiting on them to get me things I need to finish it (like a garage that is sealed off from the weather and the stray cat they let use it for something to piss all over.*bare metal*) Currently it is sitting in the corner of the shop I'm employed at, bare shell *de-cat pissed* up on a body jig. I put a whole new dynacorn floor in it, new wheeltubs, trunk floor patches, and quarter skins. His father in law has a rotisserie that I'm supposed to be able to use, so I can finish the underside and put it back on the frame once and for all. The trouble is, it has a corvette frame on it,which I painted about 2-3 years ago (because he was in a hell-fire hurry to finish it). I volunteered to take it down a handful of times since they seem to be so busy having a real life (unlike myself). Well, I've been waiting since November for that rotisserie,something they could have ready for me in a half hour. Well, every time I talk to them they ask me how the old chevelle is coming along. I say "its not, I'm still waiting for that rotisserie". The problem is they never seem to know why. I guess I'm supposed to pull one out of my ass or buy one myself. I've already bought a $2500 air compressor, a refrigerated drier unit for it $2500, and forfeited the labor I had coming to me on an identical restoration on another chevelle $2000, in trade for the shop space it is taking up at work. All the while, my projects are put on hold because I promised everybody I would finish the car before I started on my shit. The biggest kick in the balls is I'm doing probably 20-30 grand in work ( in a professional shop) for this guy for about 4500.00 He has about 2 more months to pull his head out of his ass, before I give it back to him in variprime , partially bolted back onto his frame. I've only taken about half of the money, mostly in tires (he has a tire store). The milk truck is about to run out of gas. Needless to say, I've been a glutton for punishment. Those aren't the only stories I have either. I guess the best way to look at it is I've learned alot in my short time on this earth, mostly about the real world and the car business. Back in the day all I ever wanted to do was build hot rods. I didn't know you also had to be a scientist,a detective,a doctor,a lawyer,a philosopher,an artist, and most of all....a politician.
Don't you hate it when you later realize that you have neglected your true good friends by getting tied up with the projects of other "friends" who can end up sucking the life out of you? Every so often I have to go through some "housecleaning" to make some distance between myself and some toxic friends that sometimes accumulate. The worst are the ones who bring you projects you don't want to do, dump them on you to do them by yourself, then you find out later they have been complaining to others that you won't do what you "promised". Every so often it's housecleaning time to get rid of "toxic friends". Often they eliminate themselves for you if you give them the chance. If you leave them owing you a little bit, they will do you a favor by actively avoiding you. PROBLEM SOLVED!
Toxic friends......I had a helluva experience with one of those too. Long story short, I told him what I thought of him, and I came to find out by chance,that he was going to have a hit put out on me. He said, and I quote...was " going to have one of his friends, who was a *real* piece of shit, put a bullet in me for about 500 bucks" because of what I said to him. Ahhh.... Springfield, OH. "The city of has-beens, losers, and never-was's"
Ha. I bartered for a pile of junk by working it off, for a fixed agreed upon number of hours, It took a couple of half-days a week for over a year on friend's other car. Then when I started modifying it he kept hinting on how HE would like to see it done. The icing on the cake was when his wife let it slip, saying, "we gave that car to you". My reply was short and sweet. "You can buy it back if I ever decide to sell it".. Silence. ................................ A word to he wise...........don't help anybody paint. They want a show quality job for $50 or less. They also think all paint jobs come with a lifetime warranty
The Jalopy Journal
