i helped a guy by building his engine for his stock car. he brought me this block that was .030 over. it needed to go 40 over because of rust and some pitting. he cryed about being broke and he already had his rotaing assembly( cheapest one from speedway) i put it together, fired it up. set everything. runs great but smokes a little. now hes badmouthing me because it smokes. wtf.
You know it seems this happens to alot of us! I am a good guy help everybody when they need help on their cars don't charge family and tell them that all they have to do is buy the parts and i'll supply the labor but then i get this Well those parts are too expensive i'll do it later well thats when i find out they went and bought the cheapest shit they can and have some other schmuck do the work then they call me when the cheap parts go to shit and it needs fixing again!Or I will help others with their projects cars or whatever but when it comes down to me needing help no one ever seems to be around or they are just to busy to help and get the sorry man! I have always been told do unto others as you want done unto you well i think thats a load of crap no matter how much i do i never seem to get the return favor.
these are all so true. even the ones that turn out good for you. for me, it got to were anybody driving by, figured i worked on everybodies cars. maybe because i have so many of my own, anyway, when they would ask if i would do something on their cars, i would say how much were they quoted at the repair shops. they would say like 50 bucks, i would then tell them, i would do it for 100. they would say why so much? i would say, because i don't want to do it! eventually nobody ever came by anymore, problem solved.
Sorry to say, but when we do a favor, we should count it as a gift, that way we wont be disappointed when we get absolutely nothing for our trouble, but on the outside chance that someone actually remembers what we have done, and returns the favor in some way, we will be pleasantly surprised... It seems that some people will resent the giver when a hand is lent, others thin we are a chump for helping at all, some people are not the least bit thoughtful because being thoughtful requires THOUGHT... . The problem with helping folks out is that we usually end up helping the folks who are brazen enough to ask for help. Most of the folks who really need and deserve help are too respectful to ask for FREE help. If we want our free help to count, help some soul that needs it but would never ask.. or give a great deal to a person who expected to pay more, not the guy who even thinks a great deal is too much.
helped a friend find a nice first old car. 1955 Coronet, rust free, with a dead motor. Came with a spare motor. Deal was $50 a month to keep it at our house, and id help him and let him use our tools, but he had to work on it. Gave me $100 for 2 months, then bagged out on the next year. Contacted him, told him gimme eithor the money for the back rent, or the car. Car became mine, and sold it for $600 to a friend of mine who now has it running and driving. Doing it again with another buddy and his 60 Galaxie. He's up here 3 times a week working on it, and pays his rent. Also, was at a swapmeet sharing a stall with a friend. He was there for 15 min, then walked away for most of the day. Somebody was looking to buy these stainless steel headers for a bbc, and i sold em for $25 under what he had listed, and got bitched out for an hour about how much he paid, and how he wanted what he put on em, and blah blah blah. Finally i told him that if he wanted that much, to stay with his shit. I grabbed my shit, and left.
I done some work for buddies and when they bring the beer they end up standing around and drinking it all before they leave......
I had a buddy sell a $20 hotwheels car to some kid for 50 cents at one swap meet. I bitched about it a little, but I wasn't there, was I? He didn't see how it was marked on the bottom. I sold $500 of other crap while I was there, so I decided to deal with it. I guess on one hand it's bad buisness, but on the other hand if you learn your buddy is really just a mooch, is it that much of a loss?
Everyone gets burnt thats why i save names in my phone of the people who take advntage of my kind nature so when they ring i can just not answer.
When my dad and I ran a shop I heard him tell more than one." We make our living off of our friends, our enemies won't let us work for them"
I tried to help someone who posts on here .I won't say where or who except that I know now that he is a whinger . Because he was crying poor I offered to help out by introducing him to a first class engineer ,who was also having a hard time. My idea was to get one guy mobile for little cost and a bit of work for a mate. To make a long story short,the first guy is a lying prick who prays on others good natures who didn't even own a car.The type everyone should avoid and shun like a dose of Herpes.
Like many here, I have a hard time saying "NO" to some people who ask for a "favor". I practically never charge the going rate for my time and efforts, but I'm the guy that makes that decision. Sometimes I even work for free, but whatever it turns out to be I make the call. I have had a few folks who complained about a price or a quote, and I advised them to please take their stuff someplace else! Worked out real good.
Man are you guys preaching to the choir. I've helped guys out with one thing, and then am EXPECTED to help with the rest!!! Try owning a shop. Everyone is your friend until you hand them a bill for your work. BIIIIIG difference between putting food on my table with my hands and helping a guy out in your garage after work. But they don't see it that way. I still help out though, as best I can. You sure do learn who your real friends are though.
I tend to agree that no good deed goes unpunished. The other thing in business is you NEVER do anything for free. If it's free, they feel free to bellyache about it - there's no value in it to the other person. I also have used the "Free=Bellyaching" to weed out my true friends and those who are free-loaders. Funny story, had a "friend" (free loaded before) come by the shop looking to get something done for "free" (can you help me out dude?). So I told him I could but he'd have to go grocery shopping for me due to a time constraint. So I sent him to the store with a short list of things the wife needed (maybe 20.00 worth of stuff), and when he got back (an hour and a half later - should've taken 15 minutes round trip) he handed me a bill for 45.00 worth of his and my stuff. I told him, that's funny, that's exactly the same amount you owe me. He handed me my stuff without saying a word, got in his car and drove away. Never saw him at the shop again and he doesn't call me for "free" stuff anymore. One more weed identified.
"You knew I was a snake when you picked me up". I gave up working on other people's cars as a side business a long while ago. It just got to be too much aggravation and the cheaper I did something, the more problems I had with the people. I did a heater core in a Maverick for a guy at work. From there on he came up to me with a myriad of other problems like the radio not working, could that have something to do with the heater core swap? Think I did it for $40 plus parts and wound up with a $1000 worth of shit from the guy. Bob
At almost 64 years old I have finally learned to keep my mouth shut when I hear someone asking for help with this are that. SLOW learner...
I have people all the time wanting me to sell stuff on E-bay for them. I just say no. It takes to long to get rid of my shit to mess with thiers.
When I first went into the USAF, I was a radio repairman. I found myself overwhelmed with requests for TV, tape recorder, CB radio, etc. repair. I finally came up with the perfect answer to the question, "Can you fix my ___________?" "Yes. I charge the same as the guy downtown, but take two to three times as long."
It always seems to happen as described. But, I write that off to just the way people are. I'm not really looking for my reward here anyway. It be nice not to get crap thrown at me for helping though. I prefer to help those who need it but wouldn't think to ask for something free. I don't loan money. I always consider it a gift, that way I'm never upset about loans not being paid back.
I used to help folks out. I had the garage and the tools to do the work. But then it became work instead of help/fun. So I bought my own project and told them all there was no longer room in the garage to work on their stuff. I will still pull over and help someone on the side of the road in need. Though not as much now as before since everyone has cellphones and calls for help. I still get the computer calls (its what I do) and most of them expect you to do it RIGHT NOW. I guess they do not realize that after looking at them for 8-10 hours a days I do not want to look at their spyware infested crap.
Get screwed almost everytime! I bought a car from my cousin, his grand father bought it new. After getting bored with the car, my cousin told me his grand fathere had just passed and was really wanting to buy the car back.......apparently paying for it has been a little hard in the last 1 1/2 years. Bastard!
I'm a little smarter than you. I learned at 50 to keep my mouth shut. Burnt too many times. It gets to me when I know I can fix something for someone, and should, but I have been beat up on one too many times. I still feel guilty. I did stop and help a couple of ladies that had a bad accident the other day when everyone else bugged out. 10 people must have seen that wreck and I was the only one that stopped! That was my legal duty as well as my moral duty though. They were ok, by the way. Bob
Well, I think there are a few ways to look at this. I do free work for people every day of the week. I'm an optician by trade, so it's small repair stuff, adjusting glasses, lost screws, tiny stuff. But, I've had people who I helped out years previous, who eventually needed services, and came back as a buying customer in time. A little goodwill goes a long way, and it makes you feel a bit better each day. I've gotten burned too. Just got a bad check from someone down on thier luck, we sold her a frame for 20 bucks, old stock, and damned if she didn't write a bad check, plus the bank nailed ME for 5 bucks! LOL. Sometimes it goes that way. Still, I'd rather try to help someone out than not. Sometimes it will bite you in the ass, many times not. There STILL are a lot of good people out there. Hard times may make many more that way in the future. Here's a story from this morning that just chaps my ass. I pulled into the lot at Dunkin Donuts to get my morning coffee. There's 3 big guys standing outside, checkin' out my deuce, obviously liked the car. I spoke to them on my way in and out. I'm currently in a walking cast up to my knee, so I'm not movin' too fast. A small truck had pulled up behind me, waiting to leave the lot, and it stalled out, sounded like it ran out of gas. So, after grinding on it forever, the guy gets out and is struggling to push it backwards into a parking place, and do you think any of those guys moved off the sidewalk to help? I couldn't freakin' believe it! So, I'm trying to get out of my car, and the guy finally gets it moved into a space while these monkeys are standing there like they're paralized. Unreal. Wannabe's, NOT HOT RODDERS. Assholes.
helping people is like feeding a cat. they are going to keep coming back as long as you keep feeding them. I got one guy who comes around always wanting something... fill up his tire, borrow a screwdriver, check this part with your meter, charge my battery... on and on. he comes up a while back and didn't even get a word out, I just told him no. he protested that he didn't even say anything and I told him it doesn't matter, whatever you want me to do the answer is no. did that a couple of times and he hasn't been back. good riddance.
wow, this is crazy. I thought I might get a couple hits but never expected this. Y'all are right, I'll probly do it again though to help some other poor soul out.
This reminds me of one of the reasons I'm no longer a tattoo artist. Give someone the 'hook-up' and they'll surely repay the kindness by expecting the hook-up every time. Then they tell their friends that you're the "hook-up guy" and that you'll work cheap. Same applies for every trade. I'll truly be happy to help a friend whose car is broken down or NEEDS help, but it can certainly turn around and bite you in the arse. I've simply weeded out the people in my life that were only there to take and take and take, but never returned the kindness. Now, I have fewer acquaintances, but a handful of really true friends. Sorry to here you got into a situation like that. Just remember, there are always HAMB members, so all is still right with the world. http://www.jalopyjournal.com/forum/showthread.php?t=305953&highlight=help+woman
This thread pretty much sums up my attitude towards...well, pretty much all my freinds. Here's an example: my brother got involved in racing a couple years ago. Since he's a parapalegic (and I'm an idiot) I helped where and when I could at the shop where he and several of his buddies kept their cars. Years of being broke and having to learn lots of stuff myself meant I got to tune the engine, fix broken fiberglass, set the cross-weight, machine parts (for free), etc. Since my brother's pals were also helping him, and they too were broke, I didn't mind returning the favor when I could by doing small stuff for them. One time I was repairing the fiberglass nose (a super-fun job) of a buddies car outside the shop, when I overheard one of the guys telling one of his buddies that HE re-did his own carbs and that HE would be happy to do his buddies, for a small fee. Mind you, I did not only his carbs (free) but every car in the shop (six in all) and never got more than a thank you. I got pissed, but kept my mouth shut. I just quit going to the shop, then I later found out that after I left, all these "poor" racers started paying shop rates to have their 'glass fixed at a local body shop. Nice. Would I do it again? Most likely, as I said, I'm an idiot...
When I had my shop an occasional customer came in. He never really bought anything but he'd stop by every once in a while to hang out. I had just bought my son a new Schwinn 'chopper' bike and it was in the shop to get set up. Guy sees it and says he just bought the same bike for his kid, but it was missing the pedals, can he have the pedals off my son's bike? I say no, it's my kids bike. He starts crying about how his kid wants to ride his new bike, yada yada, and that he will return my pedals the next day. He offers me a few bucks as a deposit, which of course I refuse, and I loan him the pedals. Of course, I never saw him again. Steal from me, bad enough, but from a kid? That's a special kind of jerk.
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