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DUDE! Get outta my BED!!

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by The_Monster, Sep 17, 2007.

  1. The_Monster
    Joined: Sep 8, 2003
    Posts: 1,805

    The_Monster
    Member

    So I just got back from makin a taco bell run and I left some guy with a head ache.

    I order and pull up. I pay for the food and as Im waiting for the gal, I see someone walking close to the rear of my truck. My brother says to me, "watch it man, theres someone next to the truck"

    The guy walks right between the building and my truck and up to my window. As Im starting to roll up my window he says, "dude... hook me up..."

    His eyes are all foggy and arent focused on any one thing. I say, "Sorry pal, I dont got nothin." and finish rolling up the window.

    The next thing that happens blows my mind...

    Now, my truck is a '79 chevy full size, slightly tricked out, sport style with a very healthy motor. Nothing special, but its *nice* and I keep it looking and sounding great. I dont like people touching my stuff.

    The loser walks to the back and proceeds to CLIMB into my bed, from the bumper to the tailgate and up and over!!

    Im not sure whats going through this guys mind, but the last thing I want him to do is sctrach my roof or kick out my back glass.

    So I blip the throttle. The aggressive exhaust sound does nothing to this deaf doper. So I put it in gear and blipped it again. The truck leaped a foot maybe and made him stummble to the back tailgate again. But for someone this wacked out, he was still upright and started to walk forward towards the cab again!

    Wasnt upright for long.

    I had enough of this guy standing in my bed. I looked forward to make sure it was clear, and then BAM! HOLE SHOT!! I looked in the rear view mirror and all I saw was his sneakers pointing to the sky! The tailgate clipped him at the back of the knees and tossed his ass out!

    I tore outta there and circled the block. I paid for the food, and needed to go back. As I did I saw him on the other side of the street walking the other way rubbing the back of his head.

    Maybe hell think twice, but Im probably dreaming.
     
  2. Dirty2
    Joined: Jun 13, 2004
    Posts: 8,902

    Dirty2
    Member

    Now thats funny....
     
  3. Crusty Nut
    Joined: Aug 3, 2005
    Posts: 1,834

    Crusty Nut
    Member

    Thats wierd and funny. Meth is a huge problem in my town. You never know what someones gonna do.
     
  4. redlinetoys
    Joined: May 18, 2004
    Posts: 4,302

    redlinetoys
    Member
    from Midwest

    Just about pissed myself laughing. Of course, the police are probably looking for YOU, rather than the knucklehead.
     

  5. ha ha ha. reminds me of the time I had a guy push a handgun through the passenger window of my 69 Mach1 at an ATM years ago....hit the throttle, and he left the gun on my passenger seat.
     
  6. Dirty2
    Joined: Jun 13, 2004
    Posts: 8,902

    Dirty2
    Member


    Another funny one. This is too cool ...:D :D :D
     
  7. That's a good one... instead of him stealing your money, you steal his gun.. I bet he's still bitching about it!
     
  8. The_Monster
    Joined: Sep 8, 2003
    Posts: 1,805

    The_Monster
    Member

    haha! that is a good one. If this guy tonight had a gun, he wouldnt of known what to do with it. Probably trade it to the lady for extra hot sauce packets
     
  9. crapshoot
    Joined: Apr 25, 2005
    Posts: 690

    crapshoot
    Member

    hahahahahahaha well ya hooked him up didn't ya in the end
     
  10. mr.wolf
    Joined: Feb 23, 2006
    Posts: 96

    mr.wolf
    Member

    thats funny, well thats oregon for you :p
     
  11. Crease
    Joined: May 7, 2002
    Posts: 2,878

    Crease
    Member

    I had almost the same thing happen, but it was 2 AM and I was 17. I was driving home fron a friends house and this guy first tried to get in the truck. I nailed it to the floor and he jumped in the bed. I never let up on the pedal for about 1.5 miles. I was right next to a middle school bus pickup sort of turn around kinda thing with porta buildings dispersed through it. I ended up going full speed through it fish tailing the whole way. I was scared to death that the dude was gonna stand up and shoot me. Finally made it to a 24 hour drive thru and started doing laps around the building at speed. Finally the security guard came out. The dude stood up and started to say thanks for the ride, trying to throw off the rent a cop. As he said it, I punched it and knocked him on his butt. The moron then got up and tried to get into another customers car. You can't imagine the adrenaline rush until your there. No chance I could ever pull of those manuevers without a crack head in the back of my truck. Glad you made it out of the situation okay!
     
  12. Lobucrod
    Joined: Mar 22, 2006
    Posts: 4,122

    Lobucrod
    Alliance Vendor
    from Texas

    Good move! Damned dope heads.
     
  13. xderelict
    Joined: Jul 30, 2006
    Posts: 2,475

    xderelict
    Member Emeritus

    My wife was looking out for me.Back when I was drinking we were in the Harmony, a notorious CB Iowa bar and I was stirring shit.So without me knowing, she goes out and gets the car, pulls up to the door with the drivers side open and the motor running.Out I come with a bar full of pissed off bikers on my tail and a big smile on my face when I see the car.This was a respectable 51 chevy sedan delivery.As I turned out of the parking lot on to the street ,one of the good ol boys climbs in the rear door and starts coming forward inside the car.All the while I'm on it and accelerating down the street.I hit on the brakes and he comes rolling forward and slams into the back of the front seat.I trounced on the throttle and he goes rolling to the rear,hits the back door and falls out onto the street.I don't drink as much now,and 33 years later shes still looking out for me. :D
     
  14. Brad54
    Joined: Apr 15, 2004
    Posts: 6,021

    Brad54
    Member
    from Atl Ga

    Too bad you didn't throw it in reverse right after you saw the sneakers.
    World needs less dope heads, less criminals, more Darwin, more John Wayne, and a helluva lot less lawyers!

    -Brad
     
  15. thats some seriously funny shit!!! Don't you wish you could video tape all the stupid fucks in this world? I mean damn I know alot of the damn crazy things I have seen would get the $10,000 grand prize on America's Funniest Videos or Country Fried Videos... Anyhow Thanks for sharing, I still can't stop laughing.....
     
  16. AstroZombie
    Joined: Jul 17, 2006
    Posts: 1,788

    AstroZombie
    Member

    My dad used to run potato chips for Wise into NYC and the guys would pop his trailer lock at a red light and start unloading cases of chips....pretty much nothing he could do about it (you never know who's got a gun) well one time he had a half load and this happened. he jumped out and ran to the back and shut the trailer door with the guy still in there. he said he could feel the guy rolling around in the trailer all the way to the dealer! no news on what ever did happen to potato chip thief, but i'm sure he wasnt having a good day when the dealer got ahold of him! :)
     
  17. dude i dont disagree with what ya did but your lucky he walked a way. the way things are going tha damned doped up methheads have more rights by being stooped than we do by being straight and infringed apon
     
  18. Dam,, dued!!! I just wanted some hot sauce now I got a big ol not on my hed

    To hell with oregun I m goin back to Austin

    Laters hamss!!!

    Stinky out
     
  19. dorksrock
    Joined: May 25, 2006
    Posts: 416

    dorksrock
    Member

    I used to have a '87 Dodge W250 (3/4 ton 4x4) with a 360, quadra Jet, 4.11 gears, 727 tranny, and ramtrak four wheel drive system (auto lock system). one day on my way home from school a guy jumped onto my bumper and jumped into my bed of my truck. There where a few other cars infront of me turning left. I pulled the lever for 4 low because it was a rocket ship up to 35 mph. I floor it, jump over the curb, hang a tight right hand corner, and slam on the brakes (13" disks in front and 12"x3" drums in the rear). The tires lock up, and the dude hits the cab end of the bed, I nail the gas again, and slam on the brakes. I repet this process about six or seven times. up ahead are some really rough railroad tacks, my springs are rusted solid, and the sway bar is broken at the mounting points. Right as I hit them he tries to stand up and flops over the tail gate at 15 mph. my guess is he was probaly hurting!

    I miss that truck

    Jordan
     
  20. lolife
    Joined: May 23, 2006
    Posts: 1,125

    lolife
    Member

    It's a funny story. The problem, if he would have started oozing brain matter all over the pavement, is the story the judge would believe.

    Maybe have a big stick you can lay next to the body so it looks like you were under assault.
     
  21. dorksrock
    Joined: May 25, 2006
    Posts: 416

    dorksrock
    Member

    old beat up baseball bat would work too!

    Jordan
     
  22. lucky_1974
    Joined: Nov 18, 2002
    Posts: 1,068

    lucky_1974
    Member

    Actually, I think he could argue self defense in this situation. Now if he threw the truck in reverse and ran him over after words that would be a problem. :D :eek: :rolleyes:
     
  23. kustomkat
    Joined: Sep 4, 2006
    Posts: 558

    kustomkat
    Member

    I have just pissed myself, that is good stuff..
     
  24. VonMoldy
    Joined: May 23, 2005
    Posts: 1,562

    VonMoldy
    Member
    from UTARRGH!

    man horsepower saves lives.
     
  25. that'll teach ya bout eatin that taco bell shit makes ya forget about the reverse gear all together!
     
  26. Bishop Welding
    Joined: Sep 10, 2005
    Posts: 473

    Bishop Welding
    Member
    from USA

    Nothing better than instant justice. The visual I had was perfect. Great story.

    Tweakers suck.
     
  27. super plus
    Joined: Dec 14, 2006
    Posts: 566

    super plus
    BANNED

    by the way, what did you order?
     
  28. wyoming
    Joined: Feb 15, 2007
    Posts: 394

    wyoming
    Member
    from My house

    not to jack the post but it reminds me of this time i got piss drunk one nite and passed out in a random guys burb and woke up at another bar i dont know who was more confused me or him
     
  29. GlenC
    Joined: Mar 21, 2007
    Posts: 757

    GlenC
    Member

    Someone fell out of the back of my truck? Sorry officer, I never carry passengers in the back, it's illegal, isn't it? If someone was in the back, they must have sneaked in there without me noticing them. All I did was pick up my takeaway and drive off. Yes I was in a hurry, have you ever eaten cold takeaway?

    There's two sides to every story...

    Cheers, Glen.
     
  30. I agree!
     

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