Register now to get rid of these ads!

My kid drives like an idiot!

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by gas4blood, Nov 26, 2006.

  1. Mad-Lad
    Joined: Jul 2, 2005
    Posts: 734

    Mad-Lad
    Member
    from California

    The best thing you can do is take him to your local fire department and see if he can go for ride alongs as an observer. Seeing a few car wrecks and bodies will cure all of your head aches. Most F.D.s will allow this.
     
  2. lgh1157
    Joined: Sep 15, 2004
    Posts: 1,671

    lgh1157
    Member

    1. Set him up, get him busted

    2. Take him to the hospital to the all the car crash victims

    3. Slap the shit outta him

    These are the kids we hear about that break there arm in an accident and kill everyone else in the other car . . . . . . . i dont wanna see you post that one bro

    L
     
  3. 3wLarry
    Joined: Mar 11, 2005
    Posts: 12,804

    3wLarry
    Member Emeritus
    from Owasso, Ok

    Now you know why tigers eat their young...
     
    kidcampbell71 likes this.
  4. Terraizer
    Joined: Jul 18, 2006
    Posts: 521

    Terraizer
    Member

    I was the same way when i was younger and all it took was a rollover do to me driving like a dumb ass to fix that for me.
     
  5. poncho62
    Joined: Nov 23, 2005
    Posts: 1,094

    poncho62
    BANNED

    He's a hot rodder.........most of us were like that to an extent. Some kids have to experience life to learn about life. My grand daughter is the same in a way....15 years old, won't go to school, knows it all. Her mom told her, if she wont go to school, she has to get a job.......Starts at the grocery store on Tues.

    He's 18, an adult......not much you can do except warn him of the consequences. If he wont listen, he will learn the hard way.

    Be thankfull, he is going to school................Kicking him out isnt going to prove anything. Does he read the HAMB threads? Might help.
     
  6. CURIOUS RASH
    Joined: Jun 2, 2002
    Posts: 9,635

    CURIOUS RASH
    Classified's Moderator

    Not trying to be a jerk but what were you hoping to gain from this post?

    I ask because it sounds like you've got a handle on it.

    Here are my two recommendations and then I'm out.

    1. Get him in touch with a counselor who specializes in anger management.

    2. Find someone who is in for Vehicular Manslaughter and set up a meeting. ALOT of these guys have public service as part of their sentence.

    The ONE thing that ever kept me from doing REALLY stupid shit my whole life was the thought of being locked in a room with a dude hung like a Pringles can.
     
  7. rockabillyjoe
    Joined: Jan 25, 2004
    Posts: 441

    rockabillyjoe
    Member
    from Seattle

    I'd be careful with the liabilities.If he lives with you, and is a dependent even though he is 18. Responsibility could fall on you if he were to hurt someone else or their property. Even worse if he is on your insurance. I'd make him pay rent, insurance, food, everything. So when he hurts or kills someone. (which he will, guaranteed!) You will not be liable. You could lose everything! Hve a friend who killed two passengers in his car when he wrecked it. He was 23, still lived at home, and a dependent. His parents lost everything in the civil suit.
     
  8. LuckyFink
    Joined: Jul 3, 2006
    Posts: 67

    LuckyFink
    Member

    Did he buy his own cars? Bike? Insurance?

    If he did, well, there's much to do really. But if you pay his insurance, for his cars, his bikes, or for his tickets, then STOP.

    Take away his car, take away his license, something.

    Show him old hotrod films about bad driving. Although, and no offense, it's a younger generation, and no one appreciates anything. Show him Faces of Death, and people who died in car or motocytcle accidents.

    My first roommate in college lost an entire part of his family due to two people who were driving too fast, or just should not have been driving. A truck driver, and an asshole in an import. His uncle, aunt, and their three children, all decapitated, all at once.

    That's what happens when you drive too fast. How are you going to feel when your son causes someone's death, or his own? Can you live with knowing that you facilitated, or at least didn't stop this.

    I drive fast, I've always driven fast. But I know when to drive fast, and I know to respect other drivers on the road. Think about your son, and everyone who loves him. Sometimes tough love is the best there is.

    -Lucky
     
  9. poncho62
    Joined: Nov 23, 2005
    Posts: 1,094

    poncho62
    BANNED

    My 52 year old friend drives just like the kid in this thread........He has been lucky....so far.......some never learn. Hopefully the kid will.
     
  10. kustombuilder
    Joined: Sep 18, 2002
    Posts: 7,750

    kustombuilder
    Member
    from Novi, MI


    would'nt be the first time. :D

    point is, you never know what might happen when your acting like a jackass. you just might run into some one a little crazier than you. ;)
     
  11. Had a somewhat similar issue with my son and a motorcycle. We told him we needed a written "pull the plug" statement from him in case he was ever severly injured and unable to make a medical decision for himself. As parents we felt it should not be our decision as to when to pull the plug on a comatose child, since he bought the bike, rode recklessly, and wouldnt wear a helmet.
    You and your family are at a major crossroad in your relationship with your son. There are many good suggestions already posted.
    But the ones that are going to be the most successful are the ones that are the most difficult to come to terms with. Rashy's the most on target with his last post. Hope you find a timely resolution to the problem.
    Best Wishes
     
  12. Oh dear. Your son sounds like me when I was his age.........First car wrecked within 2 weeks of getting my license, borrowed my Mum,s car a few weeks later and stuffed that under a tractor. Rolled my next one.......

    Two major events that shaped the rest of my life were my Dad telling me I wasn,t welcome at home anymore.
    The second was the birth of my first child.
    Some people just take longer to grow up I guess. Good luck with your son.
     
  13. Dirty2
    Joined: Jun 13, 2004
    Posts: 8,903

    Dirty2
    Member

    This is very true. I used to chase them down or try to rub paint. But now that I have to be more responsiable I changed ------ A little..
     
  14. Kev Nemo
    Joined: Aug 7, 2004
    Posts: 2,453

    Kev Nemo

    If he pays for everything (car/insurance/tickets), he'll eventually get sick of it and slow down....or hurt/kill himself. He's 18 and at this point, it's a little late in the game for you jump in and try to save him from himself. I'm going to venture a guess that he started driving this way at 16-what did you do about it then?
    I made decisions that drastically altered my life when I was young (became a father 3 days after my 19th birthday). I blamed my parents for awhile about how they could have done this or that, but the only thing a parent can do at that point is EDUCATE. I'm on my son's ass constantly about who he's hanging out with, what he's into, whatever. I also know the mistakes he's going to make are going to be his OWN. You got to let him own his mistakes. So you were a bad driver? He should have learned from you about how difficult it was to pay alll those fines.
    I like the ideas people had about having him talk to victims of accidents and make him sign up for defensive driving everytime he gets a ticket (even if they only take it for the ticket once a year, like they do here in Texas).
    You could also ask him why he's so angry. Something's going on there other than bad drivers. You feel pressure at school/home/work, you're going to vent it somewhere and someway. Get him a gym membership or a weightbench/ heavy bag in the garage. Pushing heavy plates around feels good because it releases endorphins, and chicks dig it- how could ya go wrong?;)
     
  15. 61 Fairlane
    Joined: Feb 10, 2006
    Posts: 311

    61 Fairlane
    Member

    Kick him in the nuts....HARD
     
  16. metalshapes
    Joined: Nov 18, 2002
    Posts: 11,138

    metalshapes
    Member

    If he keeps wrecking stuff he is driving way faster than his abillity, and that makes him a asshole in my opinion.

    ( and if he cant adjust 1/2" of slack out of a throttle cable he's not much of a wrench either...)

    Put him on the Track with some seasoned drivers so he can find out how little he really knows.
     
  17. haring
    Joined: Aug 20, 2001
    Posts: 2,335

    haring
    Member

    If I encountered your son on the road acting as you've described...

    I'd think he was a real asshole.



    Maybe that adds some perspective to his actions.



    Not sure how it works in Kansas, but behavior like that in Philadelphia or LA could end up in gunfire. Be thankful your son hasn't pissed off the wrong guy yet.
     
  18. nsidemn
    Joined: Mar 16, 2006
    Posts: 76

    nsidemn
    Member

    Got a local dirt track close? Some guys just have that competitive drive. The need for speed, the adrenaline rush of racing is somthing most of us still desire. Start him in a street stock class, They are usually fairly inexpensive and a lot of fun. Hell, you might enjoy it as well and you would be doing something together. There's something about driving beside 23 other maniacs with the only thing on there mind is to be in front of you! The street will get boring because there is no challenge in passing someone who does't care that you do.

    He will also get a new respect for how far a 3200lb car will slide with all four locked up, and how fast it will stop when it meets concrete. He may also learn how much work it is to fix so you can get back out to do it again next friday.

    Thing is, he will be doing what he wants to do in a safer enviroment. There is definitely risks involved but they are with others willing to take the same risks as he is.

    Not to knock straight liners, but there was never enough seat time in drag racing for me. I just liked the dirt!
     
  19. Wow,

    Sounds like your kid must be big of balls, or small of brains.

    Ya' know, my last job was lugging house doors on and off the back of a truck. My current job is working 3rd shift outdoors as a train mechanic. I'm six-foot-two and 240 lbs. I have ink and piercings.

    I ain't saying that the local Banditos look at me in awe and reverence - just that I ain't exactly the 'Poindexter - soccer dad' kind of guy.

    But I'd get nervous about driving the way your son does.

    And I think Rashy's right on about the anger management thing. Better to nip that shit in the bud than let it fuck up ten or twenty more years of a guy's life before facing that stuff.

    But as my sign out line says:
     
  20. sheepdog
    Joined: Jul 17, 2006
    Posts: 27

    sheepdog
    Member

    I was thinking something similar, how about some (defensive) driving schools. BMW clubs often host them. This will get him a slight reduction in insurance and teach him more than a little about proper driving. Could transition into some racing if he decides he likes it.

    It may not solve the problem, but what would it hurt. The schools are pretty cheap, usually around a hundred or two. Cheaper than even a minor accident. It may not even change his driving habbits, but it could give him the skills to keep a minor accident from becoming a major one.
     
  21. gas4blood
    Joined: Nov 19, 2005
    Posts: 787

    gas4blood
    Member
    from Kansas

    quote=CURIOUS RASH]Not trying to be a jerk but what were you hoping to gain from this post?
    Fresh insight or ideas. I don't think you are being a jerk. Quite the opposite, actually.

    I ask because it sounds like you've got a handle on it.

    Here are my two recommendations and then I'm out.

    1. Get him in touch with a counselor who specializes in anger management.

    Answer1. Done that, it helps some. But behind the wheel.......$ shock and potential license loss is helping.



    2. Find someone who is in for Vehicular Manslaughter and set up a meeting. ALOT of these guys have public service as part of their sentence.

    Answer2. A very good idea! I work with severe emotionally disturbed kids, and know a lot of cops. I will pursue this one.


    The ONE thing that ever kept me from doing REALLY stupid shit my whole life was the thought of being locked in a room with a dude hung like a Pringles can.[/quote]

    Answer3. I have mentioned this before, but I like your wording better.

    I also like the idea of having him sign a paper giving us "pull the plug" rights. That'll make him think!!

    This reckless driving thing just happened. The diversion has just started. I went for a drive today after posting this, with him behind the wheel. (Not something I like doing lately) He was much improved!! We had a good talk, no defensiveness, he accepted speed limits without me saying a word. He knows he is in a world of hurt if he gets another ticket in the next 6 months. No transportation, no wheels of any kind, and very likely a new place to call home. We talked about driving the speed limit, and enjoying the lack of tension caused by trying to make time around all the folks that were regarded as rolling roadblocks. He seemed to actually understand now that the state has decreed that he is a lousy driver and better shape up. So perhaps there is hope.

    We looked over a '29 Ford P.U. for $2,750, running and driving. Worst pile I have seen in my life that would actually run. It was put together out of parts, engine didn't smoke or rattle, but the sheet metal was rusted, twisted, split, cracked, bent, worn, and lots of it had moss on it! The door locks were rusted solid, the bottom 8" or more was virtually gone on the cab, doors, and bed. The main cab was probably saveable. We walked on it. That's the old iron tie-in!

    Anyway, thanks for the ideas folks, they are mostly good. this place amazes me sometimes, lots of sharp and caring minds here.:D
     
  22. S.F.
    Joined: Oct 19, 2006
    Posts: 2,895

    S.F.
    Member

    My 17 year old causin almost was killed in a crash he caused for driving while smoking pot. His license was suspended for a year(should have been longer) but thats what it took for him to slow down, a bruised brain, punctured lung, couple broken ribs.
     
  23. fab32
    Joined: May 14, 2002
    Posts: 13,985

    fab32
    Member Emeritus

    And what exactly did this add to the thread that could be remotely positive?:confused: Opps, forgot about manly chest thumping.

    Frank
     
  24. hotrodladycrusr
    Joined: Sep 20, 2002
    Posts: 20,765

    hotrodladycrusr
    Member

    The anger managment course should be mandatory, even if you have to drive him there and attend so that your sure he goes. He has some major issues that need to be resolved that you might not be aware of. Right now he could be telling you what he knows you want to hear just so you'll "lay off". Even if you see his attitude changing in the right direction, please take Rashy advice and MAKE HIM attend.

    I'm licensed to sell auto insurance in the state of Michigan and would like to pass along some info to you on how things work in this state. Yours could be different BUT I wouldn't wait till something happens to find out. Call your insurance agent TODAY to find out if under any circumstances you could ever be held responsible to anyone in regards to your son.

    In MIchigan, if he is living in your home you are still responsible period, no matter what his age. If the coverage he has on his vechicle doesn't cover everything in case of a serious accident such as loss of limb, eyesight or death, the other person's insurance company will come after whomever they can AND there is a pecking order on who is responsible and in what order. Believe it or not even if the person living in your home is not even blood related you could still find yourself responsbile for an accident they have.

    Please make sure he is covered to the max, like a million dollars coverage instead of the normal 100,000/300,000 which doesn't cover much nowdays. I'm in no way giving you advice for your state, just alittle about how things work here in Michigan and hoping you will check further into your own states laws BEFORE something happens.

    Reason number 1038 why I have a hot rod instead of a child.:D
     
  25. breederswife
    Joined: Oct 26, 2006
    Posts: 127

    breederswife
    Member

    :) :) :) I am looking forward to when our two little ones are old enough to drive. Hopefully you'll save my advice and mail it back to me then when I am having the same problems. They have to learn on their own and take responsibility for their actions. As parents, you have to let them make mistakes and you can't clean up their messes for them. Let him pay the tickets and don't let him drive anything you own. Maybe he'll eventually get tired of taking his dates for walks insteads of rides!;) Love and lead them to church and hope for the best. Remember, I am going to need this advice in ten years when Gabriel is 17. I look forward to hearing from you then!:D
     
  26. breederswife
    Joined: Oct 26, 2006
    Posts: 127

    breederswife
    Member

    I should have read everyone else's responses to the thread before responding myself. Lots of good opinions. I have copied them all for future advice.
     
  27. Fraz
    Joined: Mar 3, 2001
    Posts: 1,818

    Fraz
    Member
    from Dixon, MO

    The old family sedan your son just flipped off and cut off contains Mr. Shitton, a guy who is having a VERY bad day. He was fired this morning after 12 years of loyal hard work. When he came home early he found the wife and his best friend humpin like rabbits on the livingroom sofa. In mid-thrust she handed him divorce papers and proof their children's father is the best friend. She's also porkin her lawyer and the divorce court judge. As he was leaving he stepped in some fresh dogshit the neighbor's dog left in his yard again. On his way to a motel Occifer Gottamakequota gave him a ticket for doing 72 in a 70. Mr. Shitton is pretty pissed off and upset. He's been back on the road all of 90 seconds when when some young punk flips him the bird AND cuts him off for no apparent reason. Mr. Shitton snaps.

    The next thing you know you get a phonecall from a nurse at the hospital who's sorry to inform you that your son's been severely injured (or worse).

    Hypothetical, yes. And completely possible. Your son needs to understand the next time he pulls stupid shit to save 3 seconds of driving time it might very well cost him much more.
     
  28. farmer_joe620
    Joined: Sep 7, 2005
    Posts: 176

    farmer_joe620
    Member

    how long has he been driving? if hes been since 16 id say that hes pretty damn lucky to have such lenient parents. also to have 2 cars! wow. i was allowed my truck and thats all when i was living with my parents.

    i wasnt allowed to drive till i was 18. i had to pay for everything out of my pocket too. i had to buy a vehicle, get it so i could take the test in it, pay for regitration, pay for the tests, pay for my license, pay for insurance. i never had anything handed to me. ive worked for everything that i have. it might not be alot, but dammit its mine. i respect the privileges i have.

    sounds like this kid needs a reality check.
     
  29. chevychris5
    Joined: Nov 17, 2006
    Posts: 61

    chevychris5
    Member

    :rolleyes: Sounds to me like you are doing most of the sensible things a parent can do. The only other stuff is either find a mentor who has been seriously injured in an auto smash /take him to the local ambulance station and tell him he has to volunteer to help at all auto accidents for the next month if that is somehow possible, take all the keys off him and put him on the bus.
    The guy needs a sensible serious discussion, and I know you and your wife are hurting over this. We were I guess lucky that when younger we neather maybe had the disposable income or opportunity Kids have today, cars were slower !! and there was not as much traffic.
    My first car I didn't get til I was 21 , didn't care too busiy riding bikes/fallin off and getting patched up again. Had the bust limbs, gravel rash and finally realised that whatever happens, the rider comes off worst.
    Hope you can work out some intervention plan that works. Safe Cruisn Chris
     
  30. cruisinkruty
    Joined: Jan 22, 2006
    Posts: 313

    cruisinkruty
    Member

    Aint it a shame we cannot kill what we create when it turns out like scum...
     

Share This Page

Register now to get rid of these ads!

Archive

Copyright © 1995-2021 The Jalopy Journal: Steal our stuff, we'll kick your teeth in. Terms of Service. Privacy Policy.

Atomic Industry
Forum software by XenForo™ ©2010-2014 XenForo Ltd.