Hot Rods Car words you learned from your dad or others.

Some of my dad's favorites...

I can teach it to you, but I can't learn it for you

You can't polish a turd

You could fuck up a stainless steel stick

Useless as tits on a bull elephant

Slicker than owl shit

I'll thing of more I'm sure....

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Dad said " foot feed". Good thread.

Ben

 

Hurry ever chance you get.
Take your time going but hurry back.

From Art Maddox, my boss when I was 17=18.
Some of you probably know him.

Ben

 

Yes good thread
Again I have to say sorry for my poor language hope you understand what I mean
When I was very young, I helped a friend who ad a shop
Just doing easy work
Exhaust things and breaks maintenance
Here we go :
When I was under the car
Sometimes the wrench fool off my hands
My friend said :
Why are you throwing this tool to the ground ?
It is brand new

 

Also"Colder than a tax collectors heart".
Good luck.Have fun.Be safe.
Leo

 

I cut it twice and it's still too short!

 

Shine the light where I'm working -----not in my eyes. Never knew why we had to lay on the ground in freezing wheater in the dark every time he'd go on a trip.

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From my Father-in-law: his comment to you for any physical "incident" (drop a wrench, fall off a ladder, break a glass, etc.) was "what a clobber-ass"

 

My dad used to say, about a certain mechanical engineer " he's so worried about the bugs nuts, he wouldn't notice when it's head falls off! "

 

Another one Dad would use "that guy is crazier than a shit house rat!"

 

"Tighter than the nuts on a Packard"
Could be a frozen fastener, or a frugal acquaintance...

 

One from the old welding shop manager: We can fix anything from the crack of dawn to a broken heart.

One from an engineer that I worked with: Fits like a di** in a shirtsleeve.

 

An old radiator repairman (remember those?) I knew used to say he could weld a Hershey bar to a snowball. I never did see him do it but I always thought he really could.

 

For ineptitude or general clumsiness, "Looks like a monkey F-ing a football."

 

Had an old friend that I respected very much and he taught me
a lot He always used to say
You cant polish a turd but you can roll it in glitter

 

My dad's favorite saying every time he saw one of my new projects: 'Not again....'

 

One buddy's dad would always ask me of my car "How many died in that wreak?"
The other buddy's dad would say "You didn't have time to do it right , but you had time to do it over!"

 

That thing couldn't pull a greased cat outta bed.
He bought a Caddilac once & the first thing he said when he brought it home was: "what a p o s, my old Packard had more top end, what a p o s !!!!

 

My dad calls a ford siloniod, "el monito". Witch means little doll in spanish. Why i dont know.

 

Journeymans to his apprentice when its time for a couple drops of oil.....

---it just needs a couple drops of weiner-slider
---now it just needs a bit of Maidens oil

 

Greez instead of grease

 

Auburn Boattail Speedster 851/852 and Cord 810 / 812 Phaeton, kept me going from 11 to 78 yrs old. Words that got a run for their money.

 

This has been quite the entertaining read. I have laughed out loud a few times in reading through them all. Through the years I have heard most of them, but a few were new to me.
Unfortunately, I never had an opportunity to work with my dad, since he passed when I was only 9 years old. I have picked up a couple through from others I have worked with, that I have not see already stated here :
That boy is slower than smoke off of shit. (Often in reference to me, lol)
This shop is so cold it would freeze the balls off a brass monkey.
You could sling a cat through the cracks in this wall.
Don't know his elbow from his asshole.
She got her tits in the wringer.
She came in today with the broomstick up her ass. ( Heard that one often, at one particular shop.)

 

I guess the one that always got pinned to me - still does at times would be- Thats A Kill Yourself Quick Kit. I had a bad habit( still do ) of building a race car as a street car.
I will steal a line from a movie that came out in the late 80s or early 90s ( Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man) Better to be Dead and Cool- than Alive and UnCool. Bad advice but it sounded good at the time.

 

Never heard this except from my dad.
*stopping at gas station*
"I gotta drain my radiator."
*gets out and goes to restroom*

 

Dag-nab-it.........JOHN BROWN..........Con-sarnd-ed.....That thang is runn'in richer than 3 foot up a bull's ass!
She was so bow legged she couldn't hem-a-hog-in-a-ditch!
If it ran good it run slicker'n snot.
My grand pa once hit his finger with the hammer and yelled...."dog bite a ni--er baby!"
Something was "screwed up as a box of ass holes"!
Something was "hotter'n the hinges to the gates of hell"!
Something was messed up "six ways to Sunday!"
Tighter'n Dick's hat band!
Colder'n a well diggers ass!
When he got mad "it makes my ass crave stove wood"!
So scared "you couldn't drive a hat pin up my ass with a sledgehammer!"
"Shak'in like a dog shitt'in peach seeds!"
Just to name a few.
Sure miss him.I'd empty my bank account .....for 15 minutes with him now!
6sally6

 

How about hotter than a popcorn fart, and richer than a stick 6 foot up a bulls butt

 

Always called someone he thought a fool- Numb Nuts!

 

Most of the words I learned from my Navy vet, biker Dad were on George Carlin's 7 Words You Can't Say On TV list. Actually Dad's vocabulary was a lot longer than 7 words! Lol

 

When the job was going bad and time was tight he would Yelp at the car
Why you Ethiopian S.O.B!,