Art & Inspiration "One percenters" disclaimer

The seller ran this disclaimer on an eBay ad for selling some old trucks. I thought it was pretty entertaining, but I don't know if I would dare to buy anything from him sight unseen.


1%ers Disclaimer
And no one percenters, no, I don't mean the rich 1% you hear about on the news, the other end of the spectrum 1%... What I mean is, 99% of eBayers are intelligent, reasonable, level headed, swap meet, flea market, estate sale, thrift shop, 2nd hand, trade show, antique mall, restoration, bargain hunting loving shoppers who appreciate the value as much as the hunt and the experience; while at the same time being able to artfully balance that with the realization that the item they are buying is used, old and may have idiosyncrasies to match, and they not only appreciate that, but embrace it as part of the items individual character and charm!
The one percent, on the other hand, are the biggest cheapskates that can be, and yet they somehow think eBay is Macie's (or in the case of most the items I sell, the factory dealership), and after low balling you, will moan and cry about any and every real or perceived thing they can find because they do not have the discerning wisdom to read between the lines of the obvious reality in the listing, because every little thing has to be spelled out for them, and if its not they will accuse you as a seller of being dishonest because they don't have the intelligence to understand the unstated obvious.

So...if you are a one percenter, this is for you.
The item is as pictured and described, but it may be between 30 and 80+ years old and may look like the came out of Oscar the Grouches residence, being dusty/dirty, perhaps even having Charlotte's web inside, feasting on dead flies. They probably came from abandoned vehicles in ungodly locations, which means, they were left to the elements and rarely moved, so sun fading, wind chapping and who knows what else may have occurred. When they were moved, they were drug by chains and tow straps, or pushed by tractors(with a tire between them if they were careful) by tired dirty farmers who just wanted to get the vehicle out of their way. So by purchasing, the buyer acknowledges he has received pictures of all items, has seen they are rusty, dented, dinged, pitted, peeling, fading, cracking, torn, deteriorated, smelly, dirty, bug and web infested used parts off of old vehicles that were abandoned to the elements and may even have the afore mentioned damage/rust/etc. that may not have been visible as with personal inspection, however, buyer has inspected pictures to their satisfaction, calculated their fitment and application, and has negotiated prices on these parts. No returns, guarantees, warrantees, charge backs, or refunds have been expressed or implied. All said, the buyer realizes if I'm selling it, its nothing short of a miracle the item being purchased made it this far!
Are we clear?
So no whiners!
Furthermore, I am not Sax 5th Ave, Nordstrom, Macie's, JC Penny's, Sears, Napa, Auto Zone, the local car dealership, or even Amazon, which means your item will not come with a card, a bow, ribbon, tissue paper, pillow box, or even a new box...for your purchase, I will not be going to the UPS store to buy a new $4 box, I will be rummaging through the 20x20 room devoted to storing boxes upstairs in my metal grinding dirty, weld smoky, primer sanding dusty, paint overspray shop where I restore cars(and anything else I can find that is old and cool), the boxes will have been used to ship items at the very least once, but more than likely they will have been used so many times to ship that if they had frequent flier miles they would have earned a free trip around the world. Also, if its a corrugated box its fair game, which means the boxes may be old beer/wine/liquor boxes(from coping with the 1%ers), oil boxes, or from misc small appliances/tools; and may have been previously used to store parts, pack tools, or even as a temporary table to hold items during the primer/paint process of automotive restoration. Which means, if the boxes still somewhat resemble a rectangle, no matter their painted color, or previous use, they are fair game to ship your item. The same goes for packaging material, I will not be going to Upscale Mail to purchase new packing peanuts for $3, which means for packaging material you can expect, depending on the item shipped and my current packaging supply; old crumpled Harbor Freight tools ads, news paper, construction materials packaging, including but not limited to, cardboard, paper, plastic, plastic bags, old broken styrofoam from tool packaging, empty water bottles, my old sweaty T shirts, old insulation, straw bales, tumbleweeds, dandelion fluff, or anything else I deem acceptable by my discernment to reasonably get the item to you in one piece, through the shippers "drop ship" attitude.
Now I proudly affront the 1%ers with the spirit of a puffed chested
Weird Al Yankovic singing Superhero eBay Pooowwwweeerrrr Seelllleeerrrr!
Fighting for reasonableness & discernment in purchasing old junque' for all!

 

Interesting.....I wonder how he feels about 1%-er ,grey bearded saddle tramps and their iron horses?

 

I like his disclaimer of packing materials. When I got an intake from @porknbeaner a few years ago he used an old Teddy bear. I laughed so hard when I opened the package. Pure genius. I of course used said Teddy bear in my next shipment to someone else. I hope Teddy has made many trips since then.

 

I would never bother writing all of that but in the end I understand what he is saying. There are things I used to sell that I no longer do for various reasons and expectation from some are the reason.

I also re-use everything.

 

Thanks for telling it like it is. As a flea market vendor for 50 plus years, and now an occasional E-bay vendor I agree with you. This is not Wal-mart, K-mart, or whoever. You buy it as you see it. Yes, I have bought stuff that was not what it seemed to be to my eyes. That is how it is. You pay your money, and you take your chances. If you going to complain about it, don't buy it.

 

I know the people of which he speaks. I see them in the reviews on Amazon all the time. There can be a very popular product that is obviously A1, and in the event that there is a problem, their return policy is golden. And yet, there are always a few that find the product to be completely unsatisfactory.

These are the people who routinely use ratchets for hammers and pliers for wrenches, and when they don't do the job complain about the product. I think if we look back in our lives, we all knew someone like this at some time.

I don't blame this guy for trying to separate the sheep from the goats ahead of time, but he is pissing into the wind, because this kind of person never has a clue about what the problem really is.

 

I'm in the roofing business, and I try to spot these type of people up front. Those who think that I can tear off their old roof, haul it away and install a perfect new roof, without making any noise, raising any dust, having any trucks or dumpsters on site, or bending 1 blade of grass, for the same price their brother in law's nefews neighbors kid says he can do it for on his spring break from high school. They are rare, like 1%, but will make me wish I never met them.

 

He does not seem to be a “people person”, as most venders on ebay have become in an attempt to sell their stuff to as many people as possible.
But, good to know.

There should be a notice on ebay,“It is what it is”, informing who these sellers are, and not to expect much of anything from them or that your purchase will be packed with the utmost of care.

 

You don't get out too much, do you, Peter Nowak ?
Or your lucky enough to not have to interact with the public, huh.
Nothing in that suggests to me that he's going to screw up your order, or that he doesn't care how it arrives.
I deal with some of those 1%ers every day at my shop. The "center of the universe" dipshits who cannot be happy ever, no matter what.
I realized many years ago that it wasn't me. These people are miserable to anyone close to them, and God forbid that you have to work with one, are related to one, or live next door to one.
I completely understand his rant, and I haven't sold on Ebay in 20 years.

 

We will review after 100 replies, and see how many 1%er's we have that match. Betcha it won't take long

 

I used to try really hard to satisfy people with internet sales. I quit when one moron tried to send back an old regulator for a '54 Dodge truck. It was listed as dirty, rusty, and had been on a field find and had not been tested.

He claimed it had too much surface rust. ebay sided with him.

 

You must be fortunate , in 50 years serving the general public , the dipshits were the overwhelming majority , like 85% maybe ??

 

I love the disclaimer.
I have an ebay store and can totally relate. If they cant find something wrong with the product, they will find something wrong with the packaging or shipping time...
I had a bad review once from a guy about the length of time it took his item to arrive... I checked the time stamps on everything and from the time he placed the order (at 1am) his order was delivered in 72 hours shipped from MD to CO!!!! How can you complain about that?
And it is such a PIA to deal with ebay to get a negative feedback removed that I usually dont even bother...
Or the people that place an order in the middle of the night then message you at noon with a one line email "where's my shit?"
Yep... I totally understand his disclaimer
Chappy

 

I've done swap meets, retail sales, etc. Was on E-bay long ago, craigs list also. I'm fed up with all of them. To date I've given away more stuff than I sold on ebay and craigs list. If someone can't talk to me face to face or is a known reliable person I don't deal with them. I only advertise here on Hamb and that's the way I like it. Stay safe and keep your distance. Nick I think you took social distancing a little to literal.

Pat

 

Been in the auto repair business for 30 years and there definitely is that 1% element lurking out there and if you think there isn’t - it will cost you. People will tell you what they are like if you are smart enough to listen.
Years ago I had worked at this shop and we were slow for a day or 2 and had the empty shop all cleaned up tidy and in drove this guy who wanted his Galaxie convertible painted. He was a local guy and he was a notorious clown who never would pay his bill and always complained about everything and everybody.
My boss at the time is standing in the middle of this huge empty shop and declares to this dude “sorry we can’t paint your car we are to busy”
Mr Galaxie looks pissed off and jumps in his car and drives away.

Boss man turns to everyone in the shop and says “ you are better off to go home and watch cartoons than work for some people”

 

I knew a guy who ran a pretty good-sized company. Every year, at the annual sales meeting, he would ask each of his salesmen to list their five worst customers. He would then combine the lists and pass the result on to his competition as leads. He said they were quite happy to get that list.

 

that’s fucking fantastic lol

 

I See all the inmates are on the loose here on this assylum tonight

 

I love it!

 

One the best packing insulation I ever recieved was when I bought a ‘40 grille, it was wrapped in roll and pleated seat covers! Arrived unbroken.


Sent from my iPhone using H.A.M.B.

 

I thought this was going to be about outlaw motorcycle gangs.

 

I had some dildo in Texas buy a distributor for a Mopar 340 from me with clear as bright sunny day pictures including the data tag with magic numbers on it.

After he got it he was all super pissed off because it wasn’t the “numbers correct” distributor for his AAR Chicken Choker numbers matching poohole tingler and was MAD that I would try to trick him.

I was like, there’s a clear picture of the data tag, why didn’t you check first? Naturally what came next was the claim, to which I said ship it back and I’ll refund ya.

Some people are just fucking stupid, no matter how much money they have.

 

That’s just stupid.
Don’t know why I wasted my time reading it, or why you posted it.

I’m not one of the buyers he’s trying to describe and he’s not a seller I’d choose to buy from.

If I saw that posted by a seller I’d just file it in the dumb ass file and move on.

 

I can relate to almost everything he said. People want a thoroughbred horse for a glue factory nag price, and want you to deliver it with a year's feed included. Then they want to ride it for a year, and ask you to refund them because "it needs constant attention"......

 

As I read this all I could think was this is 5 minutes of my life I'm never going to get back. Even though I get where he's coming from the sad part about it is that anyone he is referring to would never see themselves in that one percent because they are oblivious to the fact they are like that.

 

Hahahaha, that´s agreat disclaimer.
A while ago I sold an old used boat aircleaner to a guy that haggled me down and was unnerving with all his text messages . Ok , fine I´ll bite and sell it to you, just to end this. The pics I had posted in the add clearly showed a tape measure right beside the air cleaner and the add contained all the measurements too.So diameter and height were supposed to be clear. The guy said the aircleaner was to small and wanted me to pay him 10bucks so he can return his 18 buck aircleaner, which already included 10 bucks shipping. I returned him 8 bucks and told him to keep it.

What really got me thinking was, I knew this guy was an idiot BEFORE I sold him the aircleaner. My lesson I learned is, if I suspect someone to be a 1%er , I won´t sell him anything-anymore.

 

As a sideline to my home business, I have been selling synthetic oil and filters for all applications, for over 40 years, and only ran into one customer that was a 1%er.
He had been buying oil off me for a couple of years, and kept harping on me about how it was too expensive, and I should give him a discount. (I was already giving him a discount!).
This one time, he bought an air filter, and claimed that even though it worked fine, he said that he heard too much engine noise and wanted to return it after using it for months. I finally gave him his money back, and told him I would be happy never to see him again.
I subsequently found out from a mutual friend, that this guy was so bent, that he had purchased a new Jeep and totally disassembled and reassembled the running gear because he was certain that it wasn't manufactured to within specifications.
My real regret was, that I didn't cotton to the fact that he was one of those hopeless cases.
I am so grateful, that I didn't see the world through his eyes.
I was so lucky, that in my professional life, I worked closely with 2,000 great guys, and there was nobody that came close to being a 1%er. I genuinely enjoyed getting in a crowded noisy cockpit with two to three other pilots, and working up to 19 hours with virtually no personality issues. We heard the agents and the flight attendants complain about abusive passengers, particularly during a weather or mechanical delay, but because we had no personal involvement, we never really saw how bad one butthole could make things.
Then, I had an awakening. On a relatively short (5 hour) flight to Honolulu, a passenger got drunk and rowdy. New government regulations, to prevent injury to an essential crewmember, prohibited the cockpit crew from becoming personally involved, so it was my responsibility to approve that the person be restrained, and delegate the responsibility of restraining the offender to the flight attendant in charge. It was his/her job to recruit surrounding passengers to subdue and 'cuff the offending jerk (happened to be a woman). Apparently, it took four people to finally restrain her. This was a hell of a fight, and they actually had to strap her to the seat. Then, it was just a matter of advising the authorities in HNL to arrest her.
My point is, that one person in the right place at the wrong time, could cause a perfect storm.
Bob

 

LOL I wonder where that packing is and how many new friends it has made. Maybe some of the recipients will speak up.

I got an idea that the original writer of said sale post has no idea what a 1%er is in that world and everyone loves an old tramp. Don't they?

 

Call me a grouch, but it's just easier to identify an asshole quickly and tell 'em to F off early.

 

A friend of mine uses this when a difference of opinion comes up.

"My opinion is, go back to school and learn something that can be done from a bar stool or hammock".