Technical What is the goofiest “On the road” repair you have ever done?

I was racing my stock car and had a 47 ford ton and a half truck for hauling. We got just to the track and the fuel pump dies. This was 1974 and a flathead pump was not sitting on a shelf locally. We had a long piece of rubber fuel hose in our tool box and a bunch of tape. We put the hose in the fuel filler an sealed it with tape. My pit man just had to blow some pressure in the tank and it would run. We had 45 miles home and it was sometimes a slow ride bit we made it! Gary

 

I locked my truck with the keys in the ignition. The windshield was cracked with a really bad chip in it so I found a long stiff wire and pushed it through the windshield to unlatch the rear window to get my arm in to unlatch the door.

 

i had a fuel pump quit working once. i found a plastic squirt bottle, filled it with gas and used it to fill the carb bowls on the 600 holley through the vent tubes.
i'd fill them up, close the hood, start it up and go as far as the gas in the bowls would let me and coast to a stop. repeated the process until i got home.
on another occasion, i pinched a brake line closed with vice grips to get my truck home.

 

Back in my youth and in the Army, and I was reassigned from Sandia Base in New Mexico to Fort
Richardson in Anchorage Alaska. I had ample time between reassignments, why pass up the trip of
a lifetime, right. I decided to drive the Alcan Highway. No matter it was in February, my car was a
1958 Ford Convertible in good condition. My wife and I hit the road. About fifty miles south of Billings
Montana, two o'clock in the morning, the right rear wheel started rubbing the inside of the fender.
I discovered the factory weld around the axle housing had let go. We were driving all night after losing
a day caught in a snowstorm. After some thought, a rope was used to tie between the rear springs to pull the
housing back together. Made it to Billlings and a local garage replaced the rear housing. Made it to Anchorage
with only a few more mishaps.

 

The last one happened a few years back when I had just gotten my ‘31 Tudor on the road. My new bride and I set out for the NSRA Golden State Nationals show about an hour north of us. She had never been exposed to our hot rod hobby or old Fords so she got nervous when the car started running badly at 70 mph on northbound Hwy 99. We limped off the highway and parked in the shade in a small parking lot. The end Rochester’s were dripping fuel from the boosters for some reason. I had a small Crescent wrench and a pair of vice grips as a tool kit. The old trick of tapping on the carbs at the inlet didn’t help. I walked around the parking lot and found an old leather work glove. The wife had a small pocket knife/scissors thing in her purse so I cut and rolled a couple plugs, wedged them in the inlets and shut off the gas to the end carbs. It started and ran better so we continued on. A few miles at highway speed and it felt good enough to continue our journey.
The wife was impressed that I could improvise a repair using trash in the parking lot but I told her that’s just what hot rodding is about, knowing your car like the back of your hand. Nowadays she’s pretty comfortable riding in or driving our old cars.


Sent from my iPad using The H.A.M.B. mobile app

 

Dirt track story.
Sunday night at Nazareth Speedway, Tom Hager(RIP) breaks a rod in the big block chevy. Tells Butchie to go to the shop and get a piston and rod combo. Butch says there not the same stroke. Tom says don't matter, go get one.
Meanwhile Tom drops the pan, pulls the head. Tom: someone get me a can of soda. Tom downs the can of soda, smashes the can flat with a hammer(is he pissed) Hammers back the hole in the pan, smears permantex 2 over the hole, pop rivets the soda can to the oil pan. Drops in the piston rod combo. Smears permatex 2 on the deck and injector manifold. Sets the head on and tightens all the bolts, no torque wrench. Smear permatex 2 on the oil pan rails and install. dump in oil. Yes it runs, will it last for a 30 lap feature?
Finished 2nd. We all just shook our head

 

My pop and a bunch of friends went to Canada fishing. On the way home, Sunday late afternoon, The fuel pump went bad. Full size Chrysler with a 440, towing a boat. The garage that they found said 2 days for pump. They took the boat fuel can with the hand pump on it and hand pumped the car a few hundred miles to get home.

 

I have owned a LOT of old trucks, I bet 75% of the trucks I have owned have had a spare belt behind the seat

 

I had gone to a wedding about 30 miles from home around 1980. My girl friend's brother drove his '71 or so Cadillac and we had a car load of people, gf's mom, other brother and his wife. We get out of the wedding after 11, the town is locked up tight by then. The Cadillac had an issue with the fuel pump losing prime... no start and not even a gas station open in the area. I had an idea, found a used paper coffee cup on the street, went to a closed gas station, lifted the hose and was able to get a 1/2 cup of gas out of few hoses. It worked, poured it down the carb of the Caddy and it started.

 

That’s like an old “ trick” I have been doing for years, may not work on some hot rods, but works for daily drivers. Any time I replace a fan belt , I take the old one and fold it up in as tight of a ball as I can and “ hide” it , usually, behind the headlights. Oddly enough, I have never had to use one that I have “ hidden” ..... but I know it’s there for me if I need it!








Bones

 

Yep. They are always tucked in the seat back springs. "old guy stuff". Also found lots of loose live ammo in nooks and crannies, beer cans under seats and gun racks in the back windows. usually a screw driver in glove box

 

Not a break down story, just a do what you gotta do story. Went to look at an Eldo for a donor motor. Car runs and moves, just had a dead battery. Problem is it has to be moved off the property RIGHT NOW. Jump it with mine and get it moved. However, in this neighborhood a running Eldo is like chum to sharks. Ten minutes at a payphone(pre cell days) obtained NO help. So, being young, dumb. and now broke, I hatch this brilliant idea. Jump the Eldo again, and drive it about five blocks. Walk back, get my car, drive it to the Eldo, jump the Eldo, and repeat the process. Constant starting of my car puts a strain on my battery, so I figured out if I let the Eldo and mine just run, I could leap frog this whole mess back to my shop. Cut the five blocks to two, and with a lot of jogging got the pair back to the shop.

 

Getting ready to go to the Hunnert Car Pileup my sons 63 1/2 Galaxie had a small fuel leak at the metal fuel supply to carb. He temporarily applied J B Weld to stop leak. 10 hour drive one way. Created a bubble but held for round trip. He ran it about a year after that and eventually put new 4 barrel intake and carb on it. I wouldn't recommend that kind of repair but was funny at the time.

 

Build a hot small block, .030 over, flat tops, 461 heads completely worked over by the old guy at the machine shop, good intake and cam, manual transmission, you know, fun little model A that doesn't weigh much, then the crowd is cheering you on to let the little hot rod eat, so you tach it up and slide your foot off the clutch for a sweet smoke generating, asphalt ripping burnout! Take your foot off the gas pedal, and roll to the stop light. Light turns green, go to take off and realize you have no throttle response oh shit! Get out to find the cable broke. Dig in the tool bag and find a 10/12 gauge ring terminal problem fixed! Back to being cool next time buy a better throttle cable

 

I didn't do this repair, but I found it on an old 72 Nova my daughter bought. Stock 6 cylinder, really trashy $75 car. She drove it a while and then it started running badly. It seemed like a carb problem to me so I removed the carb and took it apart. Someone had stuffed part of a nylon hose into the female part where the needle seat screwed in to hold it because they evidently stripped out the threads while changing the seat out. It was a running engine but not good. I guess you never know what you might find.

 

broke the exhaust manifold on the Hudson, driving out of my brother's driveway, the tailpipe snagged on the edge of the sloped curb. I got out the baling wire, and wired the lower half back on to the upper half. Then drove home 80 miles. It worked, just a little bit of exhaust noise.

 

my favorite from the HAMB, balls of steel! Brakes?? We don't need no stinkin brakes!!

 

Gotta clear the cobwebs for this!
In the mid 70's, my future wife and I were headed to Corpus Christi for the weekend and were about 10 miles out of Pleasanton around 2 AM, when the lights went out in my '69 El Camino. Fortunately, there was a full moon and no traffic, so I was able to pull over to the shoulder without hitting anything. Raised the hood and smelled rubber burning and saw a red glow down by the exhaust manifold. Didn't take long to figure out that the battery cable shorted out, so I used my pocket knife to cut the battery cable in half, up near the battery. After things cooled off a little, I followed the battery cable down to the starter with my hand (learned to always carry a flashlight and tools after this!) and found that the starter support bracket had come loose and fell across the battery post on the starter. After removing the bracket and cleared the short, I found a red rag behind the seat to use as insulation for the burned part of the cable, stripped the ends of the cable that I had cut and twisted them back together. The engine fired up and we turned around to go back to Pleasanton. There was an all night gas station open, so we pulled in, bought a battery cable, changed it out with borrowed tools, and went on our way.
Fun times!

 

I also suffered the broken throttle cable on my 58 VW Bug. I pulled the broken throttle cable from it's sleeve poked it through a hole in the firewall (no back seat) and pulled the throttle cable from over my shoulder.

 

Heading to college one day in the mid 70s with my V8 70 Duster and a couple buddies. Rolling down the interstate it suddenly becomes very loud and we hear a dragging sound. Pull over look underneath and sure enough the muffler is hanging buy a rubber hanger. Luckily back then with the cars we drove most of us carried tools. Buddy grabs the hack saw cuts of the hot muffler, throw it to the side of the road and off we go. Drove around a few days with no muffler before I was able to put a new one on. Idled by a few police cars during that time. Jim

 

I've never had any problems...I drive a banger....just showing up as everyone else is leaving though

 

Off topic daily beater in the early 80s. On my way home from work at 4 am the engine quits. Diagnose the problem, bad fuel pump. Nothing around at 4 am and 15 miles home with no tools. I disconnected the rubber hose from the fuel pump to the carb, and from the tank to the fuel pump, and cobbled the windshield washer hoses to the fuel line with parts from an old pen I found in the trunk. Push the washer button to fill the carb, and it starts right up. Every half mile or so run the washer again until I get home. It ruined the washer pump, but I made it home.

 

Same thing with me but with a Polaris Ranger tooling in the desert again, Broken throttle cable 25 miles from home.. Pulled cable up from seat and peeled the outer shield back to expose the inner.. And used my hand to pull it, Got it home. Hand sure was tired after that bumpy long ride home

 

I bought a nice little 63 Rambler American from Corncobcoupe and brought it back to Omaha. I cleaned it all up and decided to make the 45 mile drive to Lincoln to attend a cruise night. Just coming in to the outskirts of Lincoln when the rear u-joint commits suicide. I bummed a ride to the nearest NAPA and scored a U-joint that almost fit. They didn't have the right one so I bought one with smaller caps. Put it together under the car on gravel. The u-joint flopped back and forth about 1/2 inch so I sliced a soft drink cup down the side and using some long ty wraps, I wrapped that plastic cup around the outside of the U-joint. I made it about 35 miles at 20 MPH before it all went to shit...........again! I called my wife at 2 am to come and get me and went back the next afternoon with the correct joint...was a lot easier to replace in daylight!

 

Seems like the most common breakdown is fuel pump problems. Maybe we should all carry a spare.

 

I was about 18, and was driving my bro's 34 Plymouth, 283, etc, out in central Victoria late one night, when my lights went out, and then the motor quit. No power, nothing, but using a cigarette lighter for light and not having any tools in the car (I was young and dumb), I found the main output terminal wire had dropped out of it's crimped spot, so I had been running on battery power only for a couple of hours. I managed to unscrew the terminal, then I had to crimp the wire back in, so I used the nearest available tool- my teeth!. A nice, firm crimp, screwed it back on, but now needed a jump start, but had no leads, and no towns for miles. So we sat, in the cold and dark, until I saw a faint light in the distance, slowly coming our way. When it was close, I tried flagging it down, and it turned out to be the local cops. After explaining that I had no leads, but needed a jumpstart, they said they could go to the closest gas station, buy some leads (they didn't carry any), and help out with a jump start. After they returned, the car was jump- started, and just idling, and one of the cops gets his flashlight out and starts checking under the dash, very carefully.
I was waiting for the "defect notice" to be delivered to me, but instead, when he gets his head out and says " AAAHH yes- now I know how that thing is bolted on"- turns out he was restoring a 34 Plymouth and just needed to check some details.! He also gave me his badge number, so when I got my date home at 4.a.m., if I needed an alibi, he would back me up!

 

Back in the 80’s, before cell phones, Sunday afternoon, went to the movies with guy next door and our wives in his 68 Firebird. Come out from movie to leave, throttle cable breaks. Blue laws back then, not much open on Sundays, no parts stores, no garages. We were in a mall parking lot, so we went into Kmart to find something to use. Bought some vinyl covered cable clothesline, about 1/8” I think. Nothing to cut it with, so I tied one end to carb linkage, punched out a grommet in firewall and ran it through and tied it to pedal, piling the rest of it on the console. He drove it like that for a couple of weeks until he finally got a new cable from a Pontiac dealer, they had to order it.

 

As soon as I saw this thread, I thought of this link. 20 minutes or so, but the baddest roadside repairs in here somewhere;

 

Not sure a goofy repair. but needed.

Been 35+ years, buy heading into Az in a Jeep J3000, slight grade inbetween Blythe and Phx some where, I'm passing cars going 60+ MPH. Thinking "Pussy's, drive it" I get to about to the top, this is a slight rise, and I hear a clank/bang, etc under the hood. There's a rest area a mile ahead. I coast in. 100+ degrees and I'm running hot.

A truck driver comes over to see what's going on, we pop the hood and part of my pressure relief cap came apart, seems it hit the fan, stuck into the radiator, and the main piece was kinda in place.

The Trucker heads back to his rig, comes back with a pair of needle nose pliers and some wire, He pulls the flip top thing out of the radiator, fluid just running out now from the punctured tubes, finagles the wire he had to hold the flip top thing back on the cap.

Then twists and crimps the tubes up,

We go source water, he gives me antifreeze and off I go back to Phoenix.

I ran that truck for another year or so before selling it AFTER I drove it back to Ca. Nevr did a "proper repair", figured it had already been done.

 

Got my old Ford camper van stuck under the light standard at the McDonalds drive through in Ely Nevada one night, in the rain, because the side entrance I came in didn't have that hanging height warning bar like the main entrance. Been driving all day, dog tired. Placed my order, hit the gas, grrr, nothing, the mighty 302/C4 unable to free it. Put it in reverse, grrr, same thing. Slammed it into drive again and held it, watched the light pole bending. Finally it broke free, but not before tearing off the roof vent, then catching on the ladder out back.

The ladder tore off at the top, taking most of the light standard with it, but was still attached to the back bumper. I pulled up to the window, where a couple of employees were hanging there heads out in amazement, paid for and took my food, and pulled out onto highway 50, still dragging the ladder and light standard behind in a shower of sparks. Pulled into and under a quarter car wash down the highway to get out of the rain, ripped the ladder and standard off the rear bumper and duct taped a chunk of the light standard over the hole left by the missing roof vent. Ate dinner and went to sleep.