I pretty much agree with you to a point. If you want to keep a friend dont do buisness with them. Dont do buisness with relatives also. When i loan something i get a deposit for more than it is worth. I dont accept favors and i dont give them. I dont want to be beholden to anyone or have anyone beholden to me. If i do a chartiable deed i dont want the recipiant to know where it came from. There is a certain truth that no good deed goes unpunished. My wife and sons are really the only friend i want. Everyone else are just people i know OldWolf
I had that problem for most of my life (still do to some extent). I feel ya, kiddo. The past few years, I've gotten a bit more skeptical. For a REAL friend, I'll do anything. For acquaintances, I get somewhat tight-assed. I used to trust people until they gave me a reason not to. Now I mistrust people until they've proven they're worthy. Dude, sorry to hear about your issues. Been there and done that too many times to count. Dismiss this joker from your life and move on with new-found wisdom. Life's too short to carry a bunch of hate and regret. Like my Grandma said, "A: Don't sweat the small stuff. B: It's ALL small stuff"
I dont have friends like that either.. or i wouldnt call them friends.. now i have run into people like this, and than i try to stay clear of them once they show their true colors what bums me out is having great friends that have been forced to move due to jobs families and this shitty economy.. I cant easily go and help them, as they cant easily come help me. Now thats a drag
I must be the luckiest guy in the world. I've never been ripped off or cheated by anyone i know. I don't hesitate to help anyone I consider a friend, even a casual friend. I have loaned tools and the only thing i know that I have lost is a cheapy breaker bar, and I'm not even sure that I wasn't the one that lost it. I Did some paint work for a friend of my brothers and he was slow to pay, it was only $50 and that's not worth causing a riff between my brother nad his friend. The guy was disabled and money was tight to say the least, he always mentioned that he owed me money and I always told him to pay when he could. He died last year and I'm sure not gonna be the A hole that bugs his widow for the money, i look at it as doing a favor for a guy that loved cars and I was able to help him out. I really feel sorry for the guys here that say they have no firends: they are missing out on one of the best things on Earth. To know that there's someone you can rely on in a pinch is a good feeling. My best friend comes from a family that does not help anyone, even their own siblings. My friend used to ask me why I was helping him with stuff when his own brothers wouldn't give him an hour of their time. I have actually heard his brother ask him "what's in it for me?" when he asked for a small favor. He always helps them when they need something. I really had to think about that because in my family everyone helps everyone; i thought that's the way everyone else worked too. I had to finally tell him that i LIKED to help him and that he had always been there to help me when i needed it. It takes a while to become my friend, i've always been introverted, but it has served me well, the people that are my friends are truely friends. My friends have loaned me all kinds of tools and equiptment, usually in return for something I have done for them. I always return the stuff ASAP and try to make sure it's cleaner or better somehow than when i got it. As for working with relatives I have never had a problem with doing that. I currently work with a brother and the only arguements we have is over who gets the bigger share of the money from a job; we each think the other should have it. I think it all boils down to respect for others, some people have it and some don't. There are people i wouldn't lend tools to, or get involved with, but these people are easy to spot. In the case of this post I would simply find out where my stuff was and get it back, if it's that important it wouldn't be too hard to find the stuff.
Thats right, its all small stuff..my Dad tells me "Trust people till they screw you then don't trust them anymore" everybody gets a chance...St. Peter has it ALL written down...
Harry Truman had it right...... If you want a friend, get a dog. Otherwise treat them all as acquaintances. That way you're likely to make better decisions about the effort level you're willing to put up.
Man ive been screwed and took advantage of so many times i should have sucker tatood on my head. Two things you never loan out, your car and your wife, there both to easy to throw a rod in!
My old man told me never loan tools or money thet you want back..... So If I loan money or tools if I get them back It's great.... Another saying comes to mind as well Do let your freinds use you truck or your wife they'll try to sling a rod in it!!!!!!!!
Same here. Maybe this will learn you to not be so nice to dudes who you wouldn't really call friends to begin with. Sorry to hear about you being screwed though.
If I knew more people like Belchfire8 I'd have more friends, as it is I have two friends (besides my wife). There is a huge difference between a friend and an acquaintance.
Its been said already, but I'll pretty much give anybody the benefit of the doubt....ONE TIME. I figure it's worth lending a hand to see if it's reciprocated. You'll usually find out what kind of P.O.S. they are if you need a hand and the so-called 'friend' is nowhere to be found. Yes, it sometimes leads us down a lonely road, but I'll take it any day over having unreliable, loser friends. Ever hear the expression, "you are who you surround yourself with"? Extreme version-"guilt by association". This day and age it seems real good friends are hard to come by. Family is all you got-everyone else is just strangers. I lump my good friends in with family, btw. Live and learn brutha.
I have great friends some closer than my own family we have mutual respect for each other. I think that those without out friends need to really step back and look at yourselfs. Helping others is a good thing. Gary
I only have two guy that I consider Friends. I've given a lot of people the chance. BTW The two guys are both hot rodders. Go figure.
Everyone is your friend when they want something from you. If you bend over backwards to help enough people eventualy one of them is going to shaft you.
Bending over BACKWARDS to help a friend out isn't the problem - it's bending over FORWARDS that gets ya! YMMV
Surround yourself with the kind of people you want to be. That's the best advice I ever received. Life is not a game where we keep score by counting who has the biggest entourage or the most toys. By picking people better than you, you raise the bar on your own behavior and become more today than you were yesterday. To the extent that you extend a hand to those of lesser character than yourself, it should be to teach them this same lesson, or just to give them a hand. Never hand out more than you are willing to give. You might not get it back, or you'll look like an ass for asking for it to be returned. I have only a few friends. Every one of them is a good one. Some are truly greater than I.
My American Bulldog named Fred was the best friend I ever had he would never rip you off, cheat you, steal from you or hurt you in any way. He barely barked and never growled and looked over my family and property for 12 years and only took love and dog food for trade. I have been seriously mistreated by human friends and won’t bore you with the details. Now I am extremely cautious with human friends! I am going to get another American Bulldog and he will be my best friend. Will I end up alone —that old weirdo who hates everybody but his dogs?
I'm alway surprised or maybe bewildered that in situations like this the fellow isn't identified in order that others aren't screwed. If he's offended let him make his misdeed right!
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished say this to yourself when you feel the urge to be a nice guy , or only give something you dont expect back
Haha, I was just gonna say this thread is 10 years old. I wonder if buddy made things right? (Not likely)
When my brother ask to borrow a tool I always ask to borrow something of his even though I probably already have one. I know I'll never get it back unless he really wants his stuff back. The last item he borrowed was a a brand new air tank. I borrowed his chop saw and well now I own 2 chop saws. . 10 year old thread. Come on man!.
I loaned a brother in law $100 and never got any of it back. It was worth it though, I don't have to see or talk to him because he avoids me like the plague...
Pvt. Ryan (no, really) still owes me $50 he borrowed just before we graduated Basic Training. 'Course I was dumb enough to "loan" it to him...
The Jalopy Journal
